Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all, laughing. All welcome.

[VivClicquot]

So, I thought I'd take it upon myself to kickstart the new thread. As the title suggests, this is a wonderful home full of the bravest, funniest and most inspirational women on Mumsnet, who are always ready to lend an ear and a virtual glass of wine.

The new thread is kicked off with 3 bfps in 3 days, so here's to more love and luck along the way

xx

digital - so sorry to hear your news. I can really imagine how a second mc feels worse than the first. Hard to tell yourself that it's just one of those things when you've already been through it once. I really hope you're okay. It won't be much consolation now but lots and lots of people have multiple mc and go on to have healthy babies. Really thinking of you, ((()))

Hi,
I had a miscarriage last week while I was on holiday in France (with a helicopter ride to hospital, no less). I was 11 weeks, and starting to feel quite hopeful, so it was pretty to crap to end up having an emergency operation and not really understand the language.
This baby arriving would have coincided really nicely with dd1 starting school so I could be on maternity leave, and do the whole dropping off at the gates thing. Now feeling very sorry for myself.
We had just told everyone as well, because there was a family party and I was really showing to much to hide it.
Now, like a crazy person, I want to get pg again as soon as possible, because I don't think I could stand it if my due date arrived without me being pg. I saw my own GP today and she said there wasn't any reason not to try, so dh is all for it.

Sorry for miserable introductory post - still a bit raw.

My stats: BUnderTheBonnet TTC#2 UCL 28-36 CD ??

Evening all

GLB Not POAS for a while - didn't show a +ve until CD39 last time and as cycle 37 days I have a while to go. Really pleased your line is getting stronger!

Gilda 'Hi' back to you after you cheery post this morning.

Viv Sorry to hear about your coffee incident and hope you managed to get the smell out of your hair and clothes!

Bunnybaby I sympathise with you on the 2WW - mine is a 3WW and it is a killer isn't it?

Allthe8s Good news on the court case and also fingers crossed for 2WW.

Happygirl Sorry to hear your are still in a state of confusion and hope Weds comes round quickly for you.

Cheepz I would def recommend SWI with no precautions - IMHO it is far superior than with and I don't know how I will be able to go back to it when I finally get PG...

Littlemiss It's hard when schedules don't coincide isn't it? I am often away with work and it's hard to be away knowing you are missing important SWI. On the other hand, you will have a double bed all to yourself and I console myself by reading and eating chocolate in bed .

Wannabeamum Don't be too hard on yourself for testing too soon. I did the same as you last month after first month of trying again and felt crap afterwards.

Digitalgirl Really sorry to hear about your second MC.

Hippychick Sorry to see you go, but farewell for now.

For those who's DH/DP doesn't agree with you being on this thread, I have found it invaluable at giving me hope and comfort so my DH thinks that is a very good thing.

Phew - I think that's today's action. The only way I can keep up now is to write it all down and then type a response! I hope no one else has posted in the interim.

Well, I was back at work today and it wasn't as bad as I thought! Viv's tale earlier got me wondering what you all do in RL - are we allowed to share this sort of info?

Bunderbonnet Sorry to have missed you and that you experienced MC away from home which must have been tricky. I MC'd at 12 weeks and it's hard to have got than far isn't it? Take care of yourself.

I was out having a social life for a change at the weekend and have loads of posts to catch up on. I see that there is great news for GLB and Malteser - well done girls!! Its always nice to log on and have something cheery to greet you.

Not that I want you to dwell Malteser but what kind of pains did you/ are you getting? I had pains with my last pregnancy that lead to the scan at 6 weeks in the EPU where we saw our bean complete with heartbeat. We didn't find out about MMC until the 12 week scan and I asked afterwards about the pains but they said the scan at 6 weeks showed nothing so it can't have been related.

Happygirl been thinking about you so glad things are looking more positive. Lets hope for more of the same x

Hippy don't know if its too late to say cheerio and wish you all the best. I've enjoyed your company and will miss your expertise in CM!!! Good luck pal x

Welcome back MrsPrettyG good to see you back on the thread with some positive news about your work. Good to see Allthe8s again too.

Hello to Digitalgirl and BUndertheBonnet. You are both in a pretty awful place at the moment, I feel for you. Look after yourselves and I hope this thread helps.

Viv, Clareanna and anyone else on CBFM - I have had 4 days of high fertility now. This is my first cycle on the monitor and wondering when I am likely to get a peak and how many days that will last?

Hi to everyone else - hope you're all well. Sorry if I've missed anything, I promised I wouldn't leave it so long to check as well but the lure of sun, good food, company and drinks was too much!

Waves to BUnderTheBonnet and DigitalGirl DigitalG so sorry this has happened twice for you. That really sucks.

BUnderBonnet too, holy moly, being abroad must add an extra surreal angle to the whole crapfest.

Welcome both to the thread that no one wants to be on, but we're all grateful for nonetheless.

Viv hope the rest if your day picked up after lattegate. Did DH have to break out of the house?

Happy SO VERY pleased to hear that everything is fine. Please have a very boring next 8 months.

Hippy totally understand but please do visit.

Waves to all, sorry v brief, on iPod so suffering micro screen burn!

Hi

Can i join in?

Found out on Friday at an early scan (8w2d) that it was only a sac and no baby had developed.

We have been ttc for two years and had just completed out first cycle of IVF and were so delighted so this has been a double hit as we now also have to wait to go through another fertility process.

Sometimes life is just plain shit.

Sorry to see you here Digitalgirl I was on the same November bus as you, wish it would have worked out for you.

I will try and catch up on the thread.

digitalgirl bunderbonnet nbelle sorry you have had to join us, but as others say, we are a nice bunch.

Thanks for the welcome ladies, and so sorry to see you here too BUnderthebonnet.

Hi NBelle, gawd this making babies business is tricky. Do you know how long it'll take for you to get another IVF round?

Am self-medicating with a glass of red wine. Cramping doesn't seem so bad at the moment, but bleeding has definitely gone up a notch since this morning.

In the hospital, as reality dawned on me I was already mentally counting out the earliest I could next expect to be due. Was thinking 'well I heard March babies are quite nice'. And to buffer the blow 'and I suppose I might be able to get away without the expense of a double buggy' (DS is 19mo). I really should just focus on getting through this and not thinking too much about ttc again. DH seems happy to try again though. I do wonder how many times I can put myself through this though.

The worst bit about today was typing out the emails to the two companies I'm freelancing for at the moment and telling them. Felt it was just easier to be honest, then there'd be no finger wagging at how much I've inconvenienced them.

Hi digital
I've had 2 on the trot TTC#2, so know how you feel. Actually I strangely felt less upset about no2 than I did first time round. But echo your "it's all just shit" feeling.

Welcome also bunderthebonnet and nbelle. Sorry you're here, hope you're getting lots of RL support.

Quick wave to everyone; shattered as trying to get house ready to go on the market, plus had DS first settling in session at nursery today which fortunately went really well. So time for bed said zzzzzzzzzzzzzzebedee xx

phew! lots to catch up on!

prettymrsg - tis a pretty pickle - hope the docs give you the green light

cheepz - glad you had a lovely weekend and are feeling good- a bit of a break from ttc sounds like it's doing you good, CBFM peak can go from nothing to peak in one day (i did read it in the instructions) and normally means ov in 24 - 36 hrs afterwards. have a wonderful weekend away - if you want to be doubly sure you don't concieve there are things you could consider, but you may not want to muck about your body any more?

GLB - totally understand if you want to move over to grads - but come back and see us sometimes! Want to know how you're doing. Try to stay positive and remember that aches are normal when you're PG, not necessarily a bad sign

littlemiss happy moving in day - hope DP is behaving himeself in your new home together, glad you are feeling OK

viv oh viv... what a start to the day... did make me laugh though - whoever says PR is glamorous needs shooting!

happy glad things are looking more positive, norovirus is still doing the rounds? push for a scan x

bunny WYG wannabe and Allthe8s and anyone else on the 2ww - good luck! it's not over until the RTD arrives...

red a sad but good day for you - take your time, there's really no race to get pg (although it feels like that at times after an mc)

muser jollster and gi1da big wave!

digitalgirl Bunderthebonnet NBelle so sorry you've found yourself here, hope we can help you through the grieving process as you try to come to terms with things.

malteser - BFP - good news - try to think positive, it's the only way x

hippy sorry RTD got you, it's so frustrating, understand your need to distance yourself, but remember if you do need to chat we'll be here - good luck x

moo i've had 6 DAYS of high so far and no peak - according to instructions this can be normal with a long cycle. got first high earlier than I would have thought in cycle, so there's still time for a peak....

Clare I just cheated and peed on an OPK (there were some lying about from before, I didn't go out any buy some to pee on inbetween peeing on CBFM sticks, I swear!).

Anyhow, a huge BFP!! I wonder if the monitor will say peak tomorrow - I'm a bit concerned I would have missed that had I not had a stash of OPKs (and and obsessive compulsion to pee on everything - did someone mention peeing on spuds a few days back?)

Hi NBelle that's particularly tough after going through IVF. Got close friends going through IVF and can only imagine how devastating it must be to have taken so much to get there only to lose your bean now. Take care and have all the red wine you need x

wow. lots to try and remember to comment on, here goes ...

nbelle that is utterly shite and I feel for you so very much with the added complications of IVF in the mix the frustration and disappointment must be trebled so thinking of you

moo my 1st cycle on CBFM had 3 high before peak, but some have no peak first cycle, and this 'cycle' (although post ERPC so all f*cked up) I went from zero to peak overnight! that being said last time around got pregnant on 2 of the 4 cycles I used it, miscarried both times but it helped me get pregnant after 7 cycles post first mc where i didn't concieve at all so i am a believer!

digital like jollster i am ttc number 2 and felt better after second mc because had begun to wonder if i could get pregnant, now after third i feel positively chilled?!?!?! but I think as time goes on after the initial mc you adjust to dealing with the fact that its just not going to be plain sailing for you, and find a way to live with that, if you rage against it it will only make you miserable so you have to find some way to move on, support here when needed xx

malteser my extensive research into mc and what you can do to improve you odds shows that getting lots of ante natal support and counselling and early reassurance scans can improve your odds of not having another mc (in my case after recurrent mc post first child odds of next pregnancy ending in mc 60 - 70% but research shows improves to 86% if I get ante natal support and reassurance - so get you to a doctor and demand an early mw appointment and scan and find as much support as you can get.

hippy the whole process can get to be too much and reading the forums can start to make you fret about things that might never happen, i used to think that when people came back from the grads thread - like shit that could happen to me, and then it did and the reality is you deal with it and move on - its going to happen whether you read the thread or not and for me the support here far outweighs the negative, my DH would be horrified if I stopped posting as then I would want to talk to him about ttc and mucus and ovulation and 2ww and i think he would rather roast his own head in goose fat!? However I can certainly sympathise and you have to do whatever is best for you so best of luck and be lucky

glb grads are lovely they will be very warm - get yee over there and give the girls my best

so for me have decided not to take any chances this weekend so there will be no S W or WO I but there might be some naughty non pen hanky panky instead - that will take us back a ways!! With trying to sell the house, interviewing for a new job and wanting to wait one cycle post erpc as per doctors advice I really really don't want to get pregnant again this month and sods law says I will if I really don't want to so no shagging at all!

I have read a few times people mention about no baby this year, earliest could have baby would be x date, I have found it easier to think about how soon I could be pregnant rather than how long before I have a baby. I f I work it out from now - 1 month to get over erpc makes it late May, assume 3 cycles to get pregnant makes it August,add the pregnancy and thats next May before I would have a baby - but I would be pregnant in August and thats not too far off!! Also will only be 37 in August (just) as oppose to well into 38 come next May - just helps not to be looking at targets too far ahead maybe? ignore me if I am being a lunatic

right off to write my blog so MIL knows what me DH and DS have been upto and doesn't call for an update at inconvenient time!!

love to all

evening all, gosh a lot of chat since I was on last, don't think I can catch up with it all.

Happygirl, so pleased to see you got a better result with the latest test. Just one more day to get through before you get to your appointment, keep calm (and carry on )

Oh no digitalgirl really sorry to see you here. You and Nbelle were on the same a/n thread as me, and I remember you from the buses too. I'm stupidly upset at seeing you both going through this as well, I think I'd made some sort of rationalisation that it would be ok for me to MC if that meant no one else on that list did. Stupid bargaining. God it's so unfair though.

BUndertheBonnet you're familiar to me too, a MC away from home must have been very difficult to go through. I understand the desire to be pregnant again straight away, I feel it too. For me the thing that is making me want to wait until I've had a period is not to make it easier to date etc, but because I'm not sure how I'll cope either with the prospect of another miscarriage straight away, or not getting pg straight away. Somehow I've got it in my head that getting pregnant immediately is the only option for me right now...and seeing it took a while last time, I know that's not guaranteed.

WestYorkshireGirl why would you go back to using precautions once you're pregnant. Am confused . Surely when you're pregnant that's a great time not to use anything? Or have I misunderstood you?

I had first day back at work today. Was dreading it all yesterday and nearly didn't, but I'm glad I went in, the day went quickly and I had a good mix of head down concentrating work and meetings which forced me to talk to people and behave like a normal person.
I think my hormones are starting to crash though, I feel a bit like I'm falling into the blues, get teary very quickly (just have to mentally rehearse the wrong phrase and it's all over), and just feel very on edge. I should go to bed, really. A bit more sleep might do wonders.

Allthe8s, chocolate cake is wonderful. Cures all ills. nom nom nom.

and finally Malteser - congratulations on the BFP and I really hope you're mistaken about the twinges, fingers crossed

cheepzy you're not a lunatic... (well maybe a bit of a one.... ). Meant to say to one of your earlier posts about not TTC/or being pg at the moment, and how enjoyable it was. Not obsessively remembering what day it is, agonising over which days to SWI, then agonising over whether you got the right days, have you missed it this month, then you get that BFP and have a millisecond of euphoria and then you start worrying about anything and everything that can go wrong, every twinge, emission, symptom real, exaggerated and imagined.......... jesus it's no wonder we're ALL lunatics. Agree with you it's nice to just "be" for a bit. And much though I want another child I refuse to be eaten up in the whole process of getting there, and not enjoy the one I've got and the life I have. As my old boss Anita Roddick used to say... Life's not a fucking dress rehearsal....

Morning to all - must get some chores done before DS's 2nd settling in at nursery.

x

Ladybee yes, I do hope that no-one else from there has to join us. I had the last due date so, morbidly, odds are most people who would have mc'ed have done so now.

cheepz everything you say makes sense. I'm still going through through the stages, you can almost track them through my MN posts. But am sure once I reach acceptance of this i'll do as all you strong women on here have done, I'll just keep going.

Have decided to take the rest of the week off work despite the pain not really being that bad.

My mother is on her way to help look after DS. I'm going to have to explain that 'no, its nothing I did'; 'no, positive thinking will not stop this from happening right now'; 'the doctors can't do anything to save the baby, because there is no baby'. My mother is wonderfully supportive, but doesn't understand the technicalities of pregnancy or miscarriage.

Morning lovelies

Golly, a lot to catch up on - especially with my still sore head!

hippy - good luck with everything honey and don't be a stranger

malteser - I know it's easier said than done but do try and remain positive. I'll keep everything crossed that all is okay.

bunder and digital - I'm sorry you're here but glad you've found us.

Also to nbelle - I have a colleague who is (I think) about to embark on her third cycle of IVF so know how difficult it is. I hope you and Dh are bearing up okay.

moofold - On my first cycle of using the CBFM, I had seven highs before getting my first peak on D18. Then on my second cycle, I only had two highs before peaking on D14. Interestingly, my first high on both cycles was D11, so am wondering whether it will be the same this month.

A big wave to everyone else - hope everyone's doing okay

Much love
Viv xxx

confused

did preg test last night to see about hcg levels dropping and its still showing positive but cbfm is stil showing peak?!! i am pretty sure its not possible to ovulate while hcg levels are still high enough to show positive which would mean i am jsut confusing my fertility monitor anyone know anything about when you can ovulate relative to hcg levels going?!

digital you are doing so well, it took me forever to even get past desparation to be pregnant asap

jolls we are on the same path!

viv take care today eh?! no waling under ladders

ladybee glad work went ok - i am finding work a welcome distraction

right - have big meeting with boss later and need to stop procrastinating! x

cheepz are you also have your hcg levels tested by the epu or gp? I read that HCG can be used to induce ovulation, but they give 5-10K IU, and since your HCG are dropping I wouldn't expect you've ovulated, what do I know? Perhaps its just the WTF cycle messing with the monitor.
If you're waiting for a while before trying again, maybe just skip the CBFM for a while - but then I don't know if you're meant to keep doing it everyday simply to keep track of things

digital sorry you're here. I've also had 2 MC's (close together) and don't know where I'm at. Some days I feel really ANGRY, and other days just completely normal, and then think I must be some kind of cold-blooded robot because I don't think about it at all. I think it's a very good idea for you to take the week off work

I keep meaning to post but then get scared because it's so busy and I don't want to miss anyone out because I can't keep up so I'll start with a wave to everyone. and then try to keep up a bit more each day.

Almost forgot, can someone tell me what RTD and 2WW mean?

cheepz the CBFM advice says not to use the monitor straight after an MC - "If you have recently been pregnant (even if not carried to full term) I?d advise you to wait until you?ve had at least two natural menstrual cycles in a row (each lasting 21-42 days) before using the Clearblue Fertility Monitor. This is to ensure that you get accurate readings that are not affected by any hCG you may still have in your body just after pregnancy" I think you may have baffled its' brian.

digitalgirl - I had 2 weeks off work after my MMC at 12 weeks - I found my emotions were really quite volatile and i was prone to crying quite randomly, and didn't want that to happen in front of my team. Take Care and as much time as you need to feel a bit stronger emotionally.

Viv - how's the forehead? is it klingon like? hope you got home safe and sound?

I am a bit furious today. DH has been behaving in rather a coy fashion since discovering the CBFM. On mentioning this this morning (there has been hardly ANY action this month) he said "well, we wouldn't want a baby in January anyway" argh - yes we do want a baby - any baby as soon as poss in my opinion! (although obviously not planning to nick one from Tesco.
[gives self stern talking to] relax, breathe, enjoy life, it's fine if it doesn't happen this month...

Moo the CBFM is obviously meant to confuse and puzzle - go for it tiger!

Clareanna better to nick one from Waitrose surely?

Quick hellos to all!

clare or marks and spencers maybe??

Have clearly baffled CBFM, will keep trucking with it - but ignore it as giving any indication until have next AF

I did use it straight away after Jan mc and got pg in Feb - but that was a very earlt mc so no HCG issues and timescales for recovery much faster...

am nearly ready for my 4 o'clock, just need to add a few more smart comments, spellcheck and check I haven't typed any umsnet post inadvertantly into my framework document!!! its happened before!

Hi guys,

Thought I'd have a crack at doing the list, partly because I have given myself a talking to re: PMA (yes, positive mental attitude, just like in those adverts) so moving to grads. But someone clever (Cheepz, Viv??) can you check I did it ok??!?

(P.S. *Freezing - RTD is "red tide of doom", i.e. your period, 2WW is the 2 week wait, i.e. the average wait from ovulation to period/BFP...)

NBelle and Digital, glad you came here, sorry about your mc and everything you're going through. Would you like your stats putting on the list? BUnderBonnet - I've put you on at the bottom if that looks ok?

Hippy - I've taken you off but please come and say hi sometimes!!

Tuesday's List:

Tigerbear TTC#1 UCL26 cycle 7 CD59
Hopefully TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 4 CD37
Limelight TTC#2 UCL35 cycle 1 CD37
Liahgen TTC#6 UCL26 cycle 1 CD33
Scotchontherocks TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 4 CD32
Malteser1981 TTC#? UCL28 cycle 1 CD31
westyorkshiregirl TTC#1 UCL37 cycle 2 CD27
Gi1da TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 1 CD25
Urd TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 1 CD25
Allthe8s TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 2 CD22
Mummy3610 TTC#4 UCL 26-30 cycle 1 CD22
Moofold TTC#2 UCL~33 cycle2 CD20
clareanna TTC#2 UCL35 cycle 2 CD20
BunnyBaby TTC#3 UCL31 cycle 2 CD19
Icedlemonmuffin TTC#2 cycle 12 UCL24-32 CD19
sparklyrainbow TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 1 CD18
LucyT66 TTC#1 UCL33-34 cycle 4 CD18
JulesAbs TTC#1 UCL30 cycle 2 CD15
albadetamble TTC#2 UCL25 cycle 2 CD14
slimyak TTC#2 UCL26 cycle 4 CD13
Pollyanna TTC#6 UCL27 cycle2 CD12
vivcliquot TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 5 CD9
Curlylox TTC#3 UCL28 cycle 2 CD7
dirtgirl TTC#2 UCL28 cycle 2 CD6
Littlemiss72 TTC#1 UCL28 cycle 3 CD5

BUnderthebonnet TTC#2 UCL 28-36 CD ??

WTTC
Muser TTC#1 EP 18/02/10 on month 2 of 3 month wait
MrsGazebo TTC#1 MMC6 Molar 8/1/10. On 3-6 month wait
Cheepz TTC#2 MMC 26/3/10 6 week wait post ERPC
Jollster TTC#2 MMC 26/2/10 couple of cycles wait on acupuncturist advice
ElmMum TTC#2 MC 28/2-17/3/10 UCL 28/29 on cycle 1 of (self-imposed) 2 or 3 cycle wait
Freezing TTC#2 MC 28/3/10 on cycle 1 of 2 or 3 cycle wait
LadyBee TTC#2 ERPC 08/04/10

GRADUATES
amyboo
totally
hoops997 BFP 11 July 2009
Stressy BFP 22nd August 2009
becky78 BFP 4th September 2009
LittleOneMum BFP 7th September 2009
Waitingisntfun BFP 19th September 2009
Chamois BFP 7th October 2009
Apples BFP 9th November 2009
Meita BFP 10th December 2009
CakeandFineWine BFP 27th December 2009
boodleboot BFP 2nd January 2010
LeeWT BFP 21st January 2010
TFLS BFP 22nd January 2010
Louisesh BFP 22nd January 2010
MrsRigby BFP 27th January 2010
TheKurgan BFP 30th January 2010
effilump BFP 8th February 2010
Sarahlou8 BFP 10th February 2010
samanthab123 BFP 10th February 2010
redandyellowandpinkandgreen BFP 6th March 2010
floweringcurrant BFP 8th March 2010
HappyGirl1 BFP 23rd March 2010
Unbuffy BFP 28th March 2010
Zayja BFP 2nd April 2010
Barrenbrook BFP 6th April 2010
Goodluckbear BFP 10th April

Congrats on your BFP goodluckbear can totally understand the trepidation at graduating.

Despite it being very obvious that I am miscarrying today I think I'll wait for my HCG blood test tomorrow before adding my stats to the list.

I also think I'll wait till the bleeding stops (probably in a couple of weeks) before deciding what to do next. Part of me would love to get pregnant again so quickly. But another part of me is wondering whether I should get my long cycles investigated first in order to minimise the risk next time. Perhaps a GP appointment first though.