Emmsy's Weebles -let theTTC to new arrivals support continue onwards and upwards!

[bluesatinsash]

Let our journey together continue apace

ThePFJ You sound really grounded and focused. Good for you. When you're ready we're pretty good on this thread at donning white coats and helping with TTC battle plans. In the meantime, make sure you're taking a multivitamin and lots of chocolate to help your body recover.

P>S> You're definitely wanted here.

Why did nobody warn me how thick sudocreme was poor baby has a thick layer of the white stuff covering her cos silly mummy layed it on!

Barbie I still have the same pot of Sudocreme that I bought in 2007 when dd was born - it goes a long way! You should definitely not be lifting anything heavy as it can make your scar heal 'popped out' as opposed to flat. I think over here they tell you that you shouldn't even be lifting your baby. Yes I'm having a treatment tomorrow, I'm having something called 'head in the clouds' which is a pregnancy-safe head neck & shoulder massage. Also we have a float booked in the morning.....ahhhhhhh can't wait!

PFJ glad to hear you sounding perkier & of course you are wanted here! Like Neeko said, there is nothing we collectively don't know about all things ttc! I was looking into ovulation after having a tube removed & from what I've read, quite often the working side will take over & ovulate on that side many months in a row. Also Clomid stimulates your eggs so I've heard about women with one tube being prescribed it.

Neeko have you found anything interesting on mn today or have you just scared yourself silly? I find the baby-name threads hilarious, I'd only throw my chosen name into the lion pit that is mn name threads if I wanted to be seriously put off it! What is your third item to cross off your list?

Mermaid come on, was it Vivian Westwood or not???

Just thought I'd let you all know I've just eaten a cheese topped bap with crispy bacon & my taste-buds are in heaven!

PMSL at poor Devon covered in sudocreme, it's good stuff barbie but use it sparingly, a bit late now for that bit of advice

4ever dh hasn't asked me want I wamt for my birthday yet, but when he does I will asked to be vajazzled and see what he says

neeko I was going to tidy up the list but you got there first

Hiya pfj, what does that stand for? Your name?

mermaid we love to share on here Was it Sarah Ferguson? She has very red hair, not sure about the toes though.

mls I'm not hungry yet, which is unsual for me, but your buttie sounded lovely

Off to turn Ajay over, he keeps rolling onto his tummy and getting stuck

AAARRRGGHGGHHHHHH so so so pissed off with dh . We are staying at his brothers house for the weekend.... well I say 'we' it is actually just myself & dd staying with my sil as dh & his brother are staying an hour away in a hotel for the night as they are playing golf. He has just told me that he's actually playing golf until 5pm on Sunday - Mothers day. So, that means that I'll drop him off at the golf place at 9am on Saturday & then won't see him until 6pm on Sunday & then we will have a two and a half hour drive home. What kind of goddamn Mothers Day is that going to be???? What is the point of me going?

AIBU?

MLS YANBU - for sure! Tell him to just play on Sat!

PFJ Is nice to hear from you again - you are v. welcome here

The golf is all arranged & booked by his brother & he can't let his brother down. Men are utterly stupid sometimes.

Hello!

MrsKate rang me this morning, all is going well. She's hoping to escape from hospital as soon as she's a bit more established with breastfeeding. Jack won't feed from the left (Isabelle says all the best babies don't feed from the left!! ). MrsKate says thank you to those who have texted her.

The Neeko sweepstake....
4ever says 19/03 (my mums birthday)
Gracie says 21/03
vjay says 22/03
blue says 23/03 (making him/her exactly 3 months younger than B!)
barbie/mermaid say 24/03
Iggy says 25/03
sabs says 26/03 (my brother's birthday!)
ThePFJ says 27/03
mls says 28/03

mls I would be bloody if my dh did that too, you can't even get sloshed with your sil, go out and spend lots of money instead

thanks for the updaye gg on mrskate I can't wait to see pictures of Boris Jack

I can't believe what just happened... I called the doctors surgery 2 and a half weeks ago to book an appointment with the midwife. I was 6 weeks PG then. Tonight, at 6:30, after the surgery is closed, she eventually calls, announces herself as the surgery on the phone for me, so DH gets me out of bed to answer the phone. (Would have been so much better for me if DH had been able to tell her politely to go away its too late at this point). She obviously hasn't checked my notes, and she starts yapping on to me about making my first appointment... so I had to stop her there and tell her it was way too late, and that I had my fallopian tube removed last week.... apparently it took a while for the message for her to call me to filter through to her, and she couldn't phone me earlier because she was studying!! I would have been 8 weeks pregnant today...

I cried and cried after the phone call was finished. I think I am going to complain to the practice manager. My old midwife Bo would have always checked my notes before calling, i.e. actually called me while she was in the office for a start, and it only took her a couple of days to make me my first appointment when I was seeing her....

I think the fact I lost my baby, however ickle it was has hit me today. Thanks to little miss newbie midwife.... bugger it.

PFJ things like that are really shit, along with the emails from Boots/Bounty/Cow & Gate saying things like 'congratulations you have reached the second trimester'. It's all just a big slap in the face. I'm glad you came on here to vent as we've all been through this & know exactly how low you are feeling right now. The day that reality hits you is the worst, you feel like you are going to break into a million tiny pieces & never manage to get back together again. The only thing I can say is that if today is your rock bottom, you will start to feel a tiny bit less awful tomorrow. It doesn't matter how tiny the baby you lost was, it was your baby, living in you, a real person. It's so cruel that it can be taken away from you in one fell blow & it's not only your baby that is gone but all of the hopes & dreams that you had.

You need lots of tlc right now. Chocolate & wine will also do you good.

If you are lurking Moon do you still have that poem that you wrote?

hi mls i am always lurking even when i pretend to myself i am not lol

was it this poem (i have written a few..)

When I found out you were there
I was so happy
So overjoyed
Overcome with emotion
I even shed a tear
I waited so long for you
You were about to make my life complete

But it wasn?t to be this time
You left my body
So empty
Void of all being
I ache so much
The physical pain I can bear
The pain in my heart I cannot

I feel lost without you
It hurts inside
In my belly
And in my heart
You will never know
Just how you lit up my life
Then shattered it in a moment

Every night I cry for you
The tears flow
Silently they fall
Onto the pillow
My throat chokes me
My hand rests on the emptiness
That was once you

I don?t know what to do
I can?t think
Can?t sleep
You?re always there
In my mind
Wondering why you left
Am I not worthy?

I would have loved you so much
Given you the world
If I could
I would have given you
My heartbeat
For you to have lived
Instead of me

I will never forget you
You were my baby
I was your mum
One day we will meet
Til then
I sent a guardian angel
To take care of you

I need to move on
To say goodbye
It will always hurt
But I hope in time
That the pain will lessen
Sweet dreams my baby
I love you

Hi PFJ so sorry that you've had such a hard day. it's shit when something happens that knocks you sideways like that, especially when you've just taken a deep breath and dusted yourself down.Very impressed that you managed to explain to the midwife. That was a huge step and sets you on the road to emotional recovery. I hope Moon posts her poem, but thought I'd post this one for you just now. Can't remember who posted it but it gave me comfort.

A mother has a baby, this we know is true.
But God, can you be a mother, when your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can, He replied with confidence in his voice.
I give many women babies, when they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime; and others for a day
and some I send to feel your womb; but there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this, God, I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared his throat; and then, I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you, what your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile with other children and say.
"We go to earth to learn our lessons of love and life and fear,
My mommy loved me oh so much, I got to come straight here...
I feel so lucky to have a mom, who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly, my mommy set me free.
I miss my mommy oh so much; but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep, on her pillow is where I lay
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek, and whisper in her ear.
?Mommy, don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."
So, you see, my dear sweet one, your children are okay
Your babies are here in my home; and this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with me, until your lesson is through
and on the day that you come home; they'll be at the gates for you.
So, now you see what makes a mother, it's the feeling in your heart
it's the love you had so much of; right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realise you are a mother
they'll be up with me one day; and you know you're the best one.

Rant and rave on here as much as you like. We understand and want to help. Huige hugs coming your way. x

God Moon I'd forgotten just how apt your poem is. I'm in floods here.

Hope you're coping with your own stress.

Hi neeko me too its amazing how you think you are dealing with everything but can all be brought back in a matter of seconds.

I am of course but thanks for asking. Hope you are ok too.

Gracie Thanks for the update on MrsKate. Had a smile to think of Jack and Isabelle already forming alliances over BF

MLS you're soo not being unreasonable, especially after the past year. I was feeling ill done to because we have -another- christening on Sunday and I'm sure the mum thinks that's a lovely time to have a christening but hasn't given much thought to all the mums she's denied a long lie and breakfast in bed to! Next year when you have two DC he owes you big time! Enjoy your spa session tomorrow. You deserve it.

Vjay are we one and the same?

Cupcake My cardigan pattern is the easiest one ever. Much easier than trying to do a heel on bootees. I can email you the pattern if you'd like.

Barbie Loved the sudocrem story. Devon's tiny bottom will be soft for weeks to come!

Apologies in advance for lack of personals, but I haven't a hope in hells chance of doing a proper post I still have a poorly PC so only accessing when I'm at my Mum's, I've caught up but just don't have time tonight to do a mammoth post, sorry
Welcome to ThePFJ sorry you had to join us under such sad circumstances, but you are sounding very positive despite the setbacks you have experienced. at the MW error, I think we've all had one of these be it phone calls or letters, it's hugely insensitive and hurts like hell
MLS So glad scan went well
Moon I will have to lurk more regularly now just to find out what is happening, keeping everything crossed
Barbie* You seem to have this being a mummy well sorted!

Right off to finish online grocery shop, still enjoying a good bedtime routine, after 2nd lot of jobs E actually slept from 11.00pm to 5.30am!!! I didn't know myself the next day, so much energy! Shame it's not like that every night but we can't have it all. I am loving all the new things he is doing, he's just learning to laugh rather than just smile, and he grabs everything including my clothes which is cute, although I'm sure once he starts grabbing hair I'll not think it quite so cute! When my PC is sorted (hopefully at the weekend) I will post properly and put some more up to date photos on as E has changed so much.
Love to all

Moon Do wonder if the pain will ever go? Most days you just get better with dealing with it. I'm ok thanks. Just desperate to have the baby out now. Not stressed about the pain of birth but worried that something'll go wrong and can't wait to have baby in arms so I can check every inch for myself.

Sorry, was planning on keeping that to myself.

neeko i dont think the pain will ever go. it stil hurts like both mcs were yesterday, i think you just learn to manage it so it doesnt overtake you. was proud of myself for keeping it together this week when 2 colleagues started talking about miscarriage and included me in the conversation but they werent aware of mine. still hurt like hell though. i know if/when i have my own baby one day, i wont rest til they are in my arms either.

Yip - think Barbie once described us as damaged goods and that's what we are. We're lucky though cos at least we've all found each other.
Really hope you have something to make you smile tomorrow...

I'm shattered. Night and sweet dreams all.

i'm so grateful every day that i have found some really lovely and inspiring women who i can chat to and who understand me i never would have come out the other side without you.

night neeko xx

Moon & Neeko I had to skim-read the poems as they both make me cry so much. It reminds me that although I cope with everyday life, the pain of mc is always so close to the surface.

I will always be so thankful for stumbling upon this thread a year ago.

Moon my fingers, toes & eyeballs are crossed for you tomorrow...... btw you did buy a flippin test didn't you????

mls not yet but i will tomorrow promise

Sobbed my heart out reading those poems again its still so raw, i still feel so vulnerable.. Just had big heart to heart with Dh about feelin like damaged goods still, & showed him poems.. Constantly fear the worst as much as i then feel guilty for not havin total belief in this baby, like us all, i just ache & pray for the day she is safe & well in my arms.. I Thank god every day iv been blessed with this miracle growing inside me & that iv found you all & we are sharing this long road together, i have blisters from walking for the last 3yrs! Love u all massively & so grateful for the ongoing support & understanding.. X x x x x (sure most of u realise the 5 kisses i always put represent my beautiful miracle growing inside me right now, & my 4 angel babies...) X x x x x

Hello lovelies. I'm so sorry I've been AWOL curlygirl is gorgeous but she's a little dictator and I just have no life any more beyond her!!

A sad welcome to thePFJ and I am so sorry about your lost little one. How awful of that midwife not to check but as has been said on here before people whom it hasn't happened to just don't understand the pain of mc. Massive hugs from me and I'm very glad you found this wonderful thread xxx

moon i think about you a lot. I'm sorry I haven't been on to support much over the last few weeks. Your beautiful poem has me in floods of tears again. Hang in there honey and I hope today the sunshines brightly xxx

mermaid you are constantly in my thoughts too. Haven't been able to catch up beyond the last page but will try and get on laptop later. I hope doctors are getting you some answers xxx

lots of love to the lovely Jools and all our smallpanters too. This bfp is coming I'm sure

Neeko I'm so excited for you. I'd like a paddys day bab pls so get ready for the 17th. The last few weeks are really hard. With our histories we just want the babies out and safe. I was findiing it hard to believe I could be lucky enough to actually hold this baby that I carried for nine months but it happened finally and now I can't imagine life without her. Hang in there. Your lovely little one will be keeping you up all night before you know it

mls all I can say is PAH!!! What was the man thinking? Read him the riot act and have him make it up to you another time

and oh mi god Kate is a mum and I missed it . Huge congrats honey and welcome to the world jack!!

Sorry for th lack of other personals but lots of love to you all. I will catch up properly on posts later if I can. You girls mean the world to me you really do xxx