Emmsy's weebles continue to grow.. Onwards & upwards

[bluesatinsash]

Come on over, its cosy now mermaid has bought the throws and insulated the greenhouse

4ever - hope your lying horizontal as I type. Sending lots of love to you and your Mum for yor visit to the cemetary today. I really hope this Monday puts your mind at rest after yesterday's scan. I think weekly scans are so important but it can be a double edged sword as you start to put your own thoughts on how baby should be developing. Remember 'standard' pregnant women only get two - 12 and 20 weeks so have no idea how slow/fast their lo is growing. Ignorance is bliss sometimes...

I had had four scans prior to my 12 week one and they all measured lo either correct for my dates or slightly smaller then boom! - 12 week scan put lo one full week ahead . They just grow at different rates and in their own time. I was also a nervous wreck around the gestation of both mc (8+2) if you remember I was bundled off for counselling/hypnotherapy. Your dreaded 'date' is now and its totally understandable that you are freaking as you daren't hope to get past it but you WILL. I hope you have a relaxed wekeend planned but do not worry for one minute that any activity could harm your lo. big I just so feel for you just now but look down at your tummy and give it a wee stroke, there's a baby in there needing its Mum

Thanks for updating us on Buddha and Ewan. She has been through the wars poor love. Yes she was 36+5 when she delivered Ewan so little hiccups are to be expected but I'm sure Ewan will bounce back and they'll be home within the week. hope her back recovers too. Buddha - we're all thinking about you and sending lots of love xx

I hope Annie is recovering from her section too. Will say again how utterly gorgeous Ellis is

Hey cupcake - I'm sure your email to your ex-work colleague will bring her alot of comfort. Even knowing one other person who has gone through mc makes us feel less alone. I was so surprised at how many of my playgroup Mum's had mc after I opened up to some of them .

Hi MM - lovely to hear from you my darling . Sorry to hear your still having to take the sick meds - but the end is in sight! We must do a yummy mummy lunch in Glasgow when lo's are here. Friday is best for me as DS is at nursery all day We can relect on our last meet in March, little did we know then that we'd both be up the duff within the month! Maybe we were each other's fertility guru's . Hope you can pop in a bit more often in the lead up to your lo's arrival to come full circle. I'll never forget you directing me to the mc threads when we 'met' on due in April 09 many many moons ago xx

Neeko - hope its all going as well as can be expected and your DH is baring up.

Barbie - glad to hear that dispicable man got put away. Hope it helps your MIL to draw a line and move on... Have fun nursery shopping this weekend

Vjay - how are you and Ajay today? Hope you got some more sleep last night. Had to at your acute observation about boys names so far . Believe it or not the current favoured two don't start with a vowel - WTF! Still convinced I'm having a girl and as cupcake says we need to even up the gender ratio .

Vjay and Cupcake - I'm thinking of watching 'Love Actually' one day next week to herald in December? Fancy picking a night and joining me?

Right, housework beckons, hello to everyone else xx

Hi blue Ajay had a fab nights sleep last night, so we are all cught up and feel so much better . Seeing as next week sees in December it will be a good time to watch Love Actually, so any night from Tuesday onwards

mm hello, good to see you, so sorry you are still being sick, but not much longer to go now

buddha and annie hope you and your bubbas are all well, and you healing well.

Love to all xxx

Oh God even the Iceland Christmas advert is making me cry now. This Christmas wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to have a new baby. When I lost that baby I was then supposed to have a big bump. When I lost that baby I was supposed to have a smaller bump. I lost that baby & now all I have is emptiness.

I know nobody is around at this time on a Friday night but I just had to get that off my chest.

mls I'm here. I keep writing things then delete them because everything I write seems crap, for want of a better word. I suppose I can say that I understand your pain and emptyness as I have felt it and it's so so hard. I will be online for a bit.

Thank you Vjay. I know you understand & I know everyone on here understands. I'm just having a bit of an emotional crash at the moment. It looks like I'm having my second annovulatory cycle since the last mc in Sept. What with that & the bleed a couple of days ago I feel like I'm no closer to having a successful pregnancy than I was a year ago.

I didn't tell anyone on here except for Neeko but I'm pretty sure I had a cp three weeks ago. I had a very faint bfp (& loads of symptoms) just before I went to Rome which stayed the same faintness for several days & eventually went away & then af came.

I was talking to my next-door-neighbour about it all yesterday who said she regularly prays for me. I told her it was useless as nobody could have prayed harder than I did just before my last mc & it didn't work. She says that God's time-frame isn't necessarily my time-frame & maybe he needs me to help other people in the same situation as me before I become pregnant. Well God if you are listening..... I can still help people AND be pregnant at the same time.

I was talking to a someone I've met through playgroup a couple of days ago & she's had an awful time, she had a stillbirth & then had her daughter & then had medical complications this year - she is desperately ttc as well. I told her that you all are such a lovely group of ladies & said that she should come & join us.

I know I'm rambling now but my head is such a mess. I'm going to see if I can speak to my consultant on Monday & ask if he'll give me some Clomid.

Uuugghh, I sound like a nutter tonight.

Hi all. Was only planning on lurking to catch up but have to send MLS a huge hug and tentatively suggest that you should consider some RL counselling. I'm very worried about you right now.

4ever Just texted but glad to know you've gotten through today. With you, as always, for Monday and hope you feel the sense of achievement that Monday should bring. Thanks for thinking of DH.

Nice to "see" Lion and MM back on here.

Barbie Pleased to hear he was found guilty.

Blue Thanks for your thoughts too.

Hi to everyone else.

Funeral was today Have found myself teetering on the brink all day and reflecting on this year Everyone coped well though and it's always a relief when the funeral is over even if it is the beginning of the grieving process. Mentally and physically exhausted but i'll be back over the weekend.

You don't sound like a nutter at all . It does sound like you had a cp, I'm so sorry. I think jools had one a while ago. My step sis had one then got pg after that.
The thing is you know you can get pregnant and carry a child to full term, so chances are you can do it again, that is one of the thoughts that kept me going. Just wish there were answers as to why it doesn't work sometimes, that would make it easier to understand it all.

MLS I'm convinced it was a chem pg as you know the difference between a line and an evap line. My chem pg was the month before this BFP too, if that helps. xx

Neeko you & everyone else on here are all my councillors, seriously I'd be in the loony bin if it hadn't been for you lot.

Right there with you mls, emmsys saved me from the nut house.

neeko get some rest xx

Hey MLS just came on for a quick lurk to catch up but had to post you a big hug. I'm so sorry and not surprised you are fed up and your head is a mess. It definitely sounds like a chemical pregnancy I think I had one too just before getting pregnant this time. It's just not fair, you have been through enough this year. I guess you are back in the 2ww now so I am keeping everything crossed for you and jools and the other small and pantless panters. btw you don't sound like a loony at all. Or if you do, then we're all loonies on here. It will happen for you honey. If it helps to speak to the consultant about clomid, then do it, and drink lots of grapefruit juice and make sure you have a practice session beforehand to freshen up his swimmers, and do whatever it takes to give you some control back, because one of the worst things about the horrible wait to conceive is this feeling of helplessness It really felt like that for me before I got pregnant this time and after 8 months and feeling very left behind I thought it would never happen. Well I'm not there yet but I'm getting there and it was worth the wait. It will happen for you, I'm sure of it. And that will be such a happy day on this thread because we are all rooting for you xxxx

Big waves to vjay and neeko I've missed you lots and will catch up properly very soon. I so love hearing about young ajay, our first emmsys miracle baby. We all worried so much in the early days and yet here he is

mls just a quick post to say am thinking of you xxx

Quick one to say big hugs to mls sorry to hear of the chem preg give ur body & mind time to heal, go easy on urself.. Really glad u got ur tests rolling.. Special thanks to blue neeko cupcake & mermaid for ur warm kind words on my brothers anniversary yest, still cant believe its 12yrs since he died, miss him lots.. Wonderful dh the only man left in my life now.. Mum superstrong as always, she is my inspiration! Was a peaceful time at cemetary.. Thanks again for ur thoughts.. Hope everyone has a good weekend x x x

MLS - that feeling of emptiness you talk about is oh so familiar I think you just have to keep telling yourself it will pass (it does but it will come back when you least expect it) Please keep coming on here and talking - we all know that place you are in right now.

Just look after yourself - lots of choc (keep away from the alcohol) and keep an eye on your mood - I'm a fine one to preach as I've only just asked for help, but just speaking to a GP and knowing that I've been referred for counselling is enough.

Barbie and Mermaid - thanks for the Citalopram info. I think I'm happy enough to stick with the tablets (although the side effects are kicking in today) and review if when I conceive again - apparently there is no real danger at all till the third trimester.

Thinking of Buddha and Babybuddha - hope things are going OK

Lovely to hear from Lionstar and MM Hello to Scorpio too - I think we were practically due date buddies at one point ..

Glad the funeral went ok Neeko I hope you are feeling less tired today

Meant to say re chemical pregnancies - I've definitely had one (first conception), then possibly had another just before Xmas last year but unsure whether it was that or left over pg hormones from Nov 11 MC.

I also had a faint line recently - August I think. It is dead common, and does bode well for next month

Hello 4Ever - hope you are feeling less wobbly under your cotton wool duvet today.

Hi
Jools You sound so much better. I know you have a long way to go but it has obviously done you good to seek help. Hope this doen't sound condescending, but I'm really proud of you. It can't have been an easy step to take. What are the side effects of the drugs?
I'm feeling much less tired today and have managed a few tasks to make me feel a bit more in control (til Monday, no doubt!)

4ever well done for yesterday. It won't be long until you move up into big pants and then the weeks days will go faster, I promise.

MLS I've already emailed you but please think about what both 4ever and I have said.

Moon are you ok? I hope you're keeping track of your cycle length in case you want to discuss it with the doc.

Mermaid I haven't "spoken" to you in ages - sorry! How are you doing? Is this weather keeping you indoors much more than you'd like?

Iggy How are you doing? Is the sand nice and comfy?

Cupcake At least the good thing about your late 16 week appt is that after that it should be no time until you're half-way.

Curly really nice to see you on here. Hope you're doing ok. We really miss you.

Blue You've almost made it to December and your next milestone. How are you feeling?

Sorry, know I've missed loads of you, but hope you're all well.

I started wrapping Christmas presents today and very nearly stayed patient whilst DD was "helping" . I'm now having 6 guests for Christmas dinner ! Details of how that came about are hazy - just hope I cope ok.

Neeko you are soo organised we've just bought our parents' pressies today but that's it for Christmas so far! Eek. Well done you. And well done on getting through a tough week.

Blue I can't wait to see what flavour you're gonna have a friend has just put up loads of pics on fb of dresses she's received for her dd due in Feb...they are so cute that I'm almost tempted to find out the flavour of ours so we can buy cute gender-specific clothes! But I don't think we will...

MLS just massive massive hug to you So sorry you feel you're crashing down and about cp I really hope and pray this Christmas is a special one for you, and maybe even a sneaky Christmas BFP.. Thanks so much for being so honest.

Weather here is manky but we are off to some friends' for dinner and Strictly, yippee

I'm gonna attempt to put our 12wk scan photo on profile in a mo too...if anyone's interested.

Ooh and iggy- wanted to say hope you're feeling ok lovely. Are you having any nausea? How many sleeps til scan now?

hello, hope you are all enjoying your Saturdays

Big wave to curly that was a lovely post thankyou

mls thought about you a lot last night and today, hope you are ok

jools your post came across as you being very calm , you are stepping in the right direction getting help, just admitting we need help is sometimes the hardest step, so you can only go up from here

evening ladies

mls please hang on in there, i know its tough, and i cant add anything that hasnt already been said, but just know that you aren't a complete nutter and if you are then i'm right there with you as the queen of nutters. some days i feel ok and can look to the future, some days i feel like everything happened yesterday and i'm a big mess on the floor with no way up. have never really chatted to my sister properly about it all before, but i did last week, and she was shocked by how much it still affects me and was crying with me - i think people do forget how much of a trauma it all is, and no matter how strong you are as a person, its enough to completely break you. you just stick with us, we will get there.

hi to everyone else and sorry for the lack of individual posts, just wanted to be there for mls. by the way jools am also proud of you for getting help. if i wasn't such a control freak i'd be tempted to do the same.

MLS - sorry I wasn't on here last night and have been out all day today.. You have had a heartbreaking year and your summary of where you should be this Christmas was just so to read. The cruelest thing about mc is the killing of our future dreams with our lo - what age they would be, what size bump we would have at a given date and I know the only thing that will ease your pain is falling pg again and holding your DC2 in your arms. Neeko made a very wise point, you've done it before and have a beautiful, healthy DD and you can do it again. I do think counselling would be a great support for you, to talk about your three mc (and CP )and also be there to support you through your next pg as you will be terrified. Please keep posting. Look at 4ever as an example, she pours everything on here and it helps her feel she is not alone, through the good days and the bad.

Moon - glad you were able to talk and share things with your sister.

4ever - thanks for lovely txt and glad you and your Mum were at peace yesterday xx

Neeko - glad you got through yesterday OK. Yes its December on Tues. my due month, can't quite believe lo is still in situ after all the scares but onwards and upwards...

I'm off to church tomorrow, not been for a few weeks so will give extra strong prayers for us all especially those who need it most xx

Hi all

seems the mumsnet elves have been busy messing up my mumsnet and i couldnt get on for a few days i wish they would leave well alone....i couldnt even find you all as i hadnt been able to get on for so long [angry) least by searching weebles i found you all pretty quickly...

What a few days eh?
Im at work so cant post much but wanted to say....

mls i cried tears of frustration after reading you post...life is so bloody unfair everyone has pretty much given you the advice i would of given so im not going to repeat. All i would say is sometimes its very easy to concentrate on all the negatives and miss all the positive things in your life. After my mc i was told by a very dear friend to write down one thing a day that made me smile....you soon realise life is full of things that we are usually to preoccupied to see...small things when grouped together can made a big difference. Please dont look back at the hard time you have been having in a few years time and have regrets that you have missed special moments with your dd or your dh. You will never get the time back, nothing can change what has happened but lets be thankful for small things eh??? Hope that makes sense and doesnt seem patronising Chin up...sending you bundles of love, hugs and bundles of pretty things xxxx

jools your strength amazes me Im so glad you have sought help...keep smiling lovely lady xx

4ever i was thinking about you on friday even though i could post, your mum sounds amazing...hope you are calm and collected today and ticking off another day

Ill be back later as im going to get caught if i post much more.....big hugs xxx

Hi barbie glad you found us again

I'm studying hard today...boo..but just wanted to say that Vjay and blue yes I am totally up for Love Actually next week!! Talked about it loads with a friend yesterday and desperately want to watch it now

Feel I should warn you all - behold a full curly style mother of all posts ...

First big congrats to buddha and annie. I have been smiling solidly for the last few days thinking about our new graduates. Hope the spd has cleared up buddha. I've just been catching up on about three weeks of posts and smiled at you talking about having to wait three more weeks - I'm glad that you get a couple of extra weeks with your little one instead

mermaid your post a couple of weeks ago about giving away the cotbed made me so sad for you but I also had the same sneaky thought that it might result in a bfp I love your posts, you are always so wonderful and brave and thinking about everyone else. You do make me want my own greenhouse too

hey lovely moon how are you doing hon? What an awful month for you. How could you not have hope with a cycle that long. Are u using opks to track ovulation? It might be a good plan with your cycles being unpredictable. Or sex every two days not that we ever managed that once we started properly trying for a baby . TTC is such a passion killer . I'm so glad you and your sister had such a good heart to heart. I just so hope people are supporting you enough in RL. Big hugs to you xxx

jools I hope you realise how lovely you are A friend of mine suffered depression recently and she is coming out the other end now. She says the worst thing was being so down on herself and assuming her friends felt the same way I'm glad you are getting support honey. I know it is hard to talk sometimes and I reckon this thread must be unbearable to even lurk on sometimes. I have this really hopeful feeling for you though and that you have turned a corner to happier times ahead. Here's a massive hug from me. Glad DP is feeling better after last week xxxx

MLS The bleeding sounds worrying but hopefully it is just your body getting back to normal. What date is your appointment with the consultant? Hope you get some answers xxx

Really wanted to say to all three of you moon jools and mls and all the small and nopanters that I'm so sorry that you are still going through this hell and I hope that 2010 is the best year for all of you. Please tell us when you are feeling shit, even if it is every day. I know we get caught up in pregnancy and baby news, but really this thread was set up to get us all through this journey and we should be focussing more on you lovelies. And what moon says is so true, People in RL don't realise the impact of MC. But we all do on here, and will be around as long as you need a friend xxx

baking Angry at your fertility consultant for being so tactless and stupid but at least now you have a plan. Does this mean no clomid till new year, or no TTC? Hope the holiday was lovely and you got a decent break? Where did you go?

iggy such wonderful news I'm so happy for you and promise I will be better at being around for handholding over the next few critical weeks!! We reckon we conceived around our EDD and it means a lot. Like we have one of our angels looking after our little baby this time. I think you are right giving up strenuous exercise for the moment - trust your instincts. I'm keeping everything tightly crossed till Monday week for your scan

blue I didn't realise there was a baby's name section on MN We have pretty much decided on a name which I will keep to myself for the moment but it will mean a lot to everyone on here I think Ooh get me being all mysterious Hope the SPD, heartburn and piles aren't too bad. Have you got anything from the docs for the heartburn. I was finally put on ranitidin which they give to premmies so is fine for pregnant ladies and it does make a big difference Good news too that you are off red alert, it must have been so stressful.

neeko you domestic goddess. You will cope fine with xmas dinner And just over 11 weeks to go before your mat leave. I've got about 6.5 to go now and I can't wait to finish. Sorry to hear about DH's grandpa I think it is so sweet that you write in the shower steam every morning. I've become so superstitious too

lbm is your head out of the sand now? How are you doing?

sabs I loved hearing about the Indian traditions. I can't believe you are a mum now, it doesn't seem like that long since we were both trying to cope with the awfulness of last year. Saara is beautiful Hope you had a good Eid

cupcake I cried buckets over your article on MN. Really beautiful and I think I will pass it on to a friend who has just had a MC. Hope the heartburn is better. Love the name johnny btw What course are you doing?

4ever your nuchal scan results are fantastic, I'm so glad for you and lovely dh especially after your previous experience. 14 weeks next friday (don't worry am touching wood as I write those words ) Take it easy lovely lady, good luck tomorrow and try not to worry about measurements. Mine were very similar at 12 weeks. Keep that bean nice and warm and tucked in. Hope the back is continuing to improve xxx

MM thanks your words mean a lot. It does get a bit too much sometimes but will be so worth it I can't believe you are nearly 35 weeks. We'll be hearing your good news soon. So exciting that you have CS booked and that your lo will be here before new year

barbie loved the 3d scans. What a cute baby. I reckon its a boy Do you have a preference at all?

mrskate wonderful news that you are having a boy. I know some people like a surprise but I find it much easier to bond when you know the sex... and you don't have to refer to him as it all the time Hope you are feeling better and the heartrate has calmed down. Take it easy girl. How is gracie doing these days btw?

VJ hope you got to catch up on more sleep this weekend and that you and AJ are fully better. How is your other lovely DS doing? How does he feel about having a little brother?

lion lovely to get your update on Arlo. He sounds wonderful. Are you getting any sleep during the day?

Big waves also to ginger and scorpio where have you got to?

Not much news from me, puking and spd still a big part of my day but I'm loving feeling this little one kick and remind me what it's all about .

I got the swine flu jab last week and felt awful afterwards, both physically which I didn't mind so much (slept all day instead of going to work!) and emotionally because it really worried me. I did lots of research and listened to a lot of advice from doctors I know and in the end decided that it was the best thing as at least the baby would get some protection when she's newborn and vulnerable. Still not sure I did the right thing though Haven't even had the baby yet and feeling the pressure of a hundred thousand decisions ahead to worry about.

Anyone around tonight. Tis very quiet. Hope the post hasn't scared everyone to a new thread

Big hugs to all of you lovely ladies. I have so missed talking to you but I always lurk to see how your doing

Sorry girls that was MAHOOOOOOSIVE