Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 4 - all welcome

[mummycat1]

Starting new thread with massive congratulations to Nanoo I reckon the old man can wait till he gets home! But of course - it's up to you really xxx

Morning.

Isle - Hope you are ok and get the result you deserve.

Bucky - Sounds like EC went well. Hope you are feeling ok and not too uncomfortable. And I hope your ET has gone ok today. Let us know how it went. Do you have lots of distracting but relaxing things planned for your 2WW?

Cerubina - So glad you now have an appointment date. I hope you can relax a little and enjoy christmas before starting the whole thing. I'm not sure what our plans are yet but you never know we could be cycling together next year. It is so frustrating waiting for it all to start isn't it?

Bluebell - Hope all ok with you. Don't go anywhere. We like hearing success stories. The stats you were given about IVF working for you are the same as for us so it makes me realise it's not impossible.

Lottie - How is the baby growing going?

nanoo - Hope you are well and sickness isn't getting you down.

Hi to everyone else.

Just quickly checking in and lottie OMG, what drama. It must have been absolutely terrifying for you and your DH. And it's terrible that it's such a long round trip for him to visit, but I'm glad the facilities are so good. The girls are obviously growing well, so you're doing a good job, and the longer they stay put the better.

Isle thinking of you and hoping your official test day brings good news

Hi Isle just to say I'm thinking of you today - seems all our thoughts are with you. You so deserve some good news. Fingers crossed honey xxx

LL - what a mare. You poor love. Just goes to show, the docs have been absolutely right to keep you in hospital (sorry, not what you want to hear) - but they were able to act so quickly and do the right thing at a really difficult time. The longer the girls stay inside you the better - you've done so well so far, so keep calm to keep those contractions at bay :-) (PS quite a few of my friends had babies as early as 32 weeks and been fine - in fact I have one friend with a little one, now 4 years and doing really well at school who managed to get through after a 24 weeks delivery). Take care xxx

Cerubina that's great the appointment is finally sorted - and 30th Dec is SO soon :-)

Bucky masses of luck with your ET today - let us know how it goes. Take care.

I've been trying to avoid anything TTC related, so have avoided this thread for a while, but you were all in the back of my mind and I had to check in a see how you are doing.

MummyCat poor poor you. Please do get well soon. I think you're treatment has been very poorly managed, and I wonder if you can ask some other doctor to review your treatment, and make sure the FET cycle is planned to take account of your sensitivity to these stimming drugs? Or maybe it's too early to think about that.

tbh, have only skimmed the rest of the thread, but fantastic news, and good luck isle: "3 is the magic number"

(((Gingerwine))) Nothing I can say to make it better, but I so wish there was.

ll hang in there. It's a tough time, but it will be worth it one day.

It's official - game over for me: negative.

Thanks all for your support.

LL OMG you poor thing, you are really going through it, that must have been frightening being airlifted like that. It sounds like the hospital are doing everything they can for you. You are doing really well keeping so calm about it all, and your girls are growing beautifully - 5lbs is a good weight.

Islegrin all the best for testing today

Cerubina glad to hear you have your appointment, now you can enjoy your christmas and start in the new year.

Bucky good luck for ET today x

oh shit islegrin we cross posted there and I am so sorry to hear that

Isle so sorry . I really hoped you'd get good news this time. ((((hugs)))

Oh Isle I am just so sorry. I know there is little I can say but am thinking of you. I hope your DH and you are having plenty of hugs and of course you must have lots of cuddles with your lovely puppy.

Lottie I can't believe what you are going through. Those (not so) little girls are really keen to come out. 5 lbs is a great weight for 32 week twins. You should feel very proud of yourself for incubating them so nicely. It does sound like you are getting fantastic care and when they do arrive I'm sure they will be in the best possible place. Your poor DH having to do all that travelling. Is your mum still out there to help?

mamachris Lovely to hear from you again. Hope you are ok.

One week after our BFN and things are kind of ok. I am starting my new job on Monday so plenty to distract me. I am kind of getting on with stuff but there's just a sadness that appears from time to time. Time helps I suppose but it's not easy is it?

Hi to nanoo, bluebell, cerubina, mummycat, bucky and caitni and anyone else.

Isle I'm so sorry..... I'm really not looking forward to D-Day myself already so I can only begin to wonder what you must feel like. [hugs]

LL OMG!! How cool that you got to go in the Grey's Anatomy Helicopter though.... I am so glad things calmed down. Still a bit stumped as to why you are in Switzerland though, can somebody put me out of my misery please?

Big wave and hello to everyone else. Hope nobody is in Cumbria.

Well, I wish I could come with great happy tidings to cheer everyone up but to say I am traumatised would be an understatement. Of the 9 fertilised embryos 8 were 'average' and 1 was 'good'. I know nothing about this part, but they chose 2, the 'good' one had only two cells which sounds a bit pants to me, but hey ho. The average one had 5 cells. Anyway, they told me to drink loads and loads on my way there which i dutifully followed, and then I was waiting an hour when I got there until eventually, I had to pee (TMI sorry ). I was going to wet myself. Tried to half pee for the first time in life ever, but was obviously unsuccessful as when i eventually got called up my bladder was not full enough so I got sent back out to drink again...Cue 45 mins later....I am in agony. Feel like I am a kid on a car ride with my parents and they will not pull off the motorway to let me pee, times 20. Eventually they call me, I had tears streaming down my face it hurt so much (pathetic I know) and then they put the speculum in pushed around a bit and I got a shooting pain down my back and my whole back went into spasm . I turned white as a sheet, thought I was going to pass out and started sweating like a horse, so DP tells me (V.attractive NOT). DP got scared as did the doctor/nurse/embryologist whatever they were and everyone started pulling off my hairnet thing and wiping my brow...Anyway, they got them in, 1 good and one average. So we'll see. 'average' really does NOT sound great . They were so 'average' we were advised they were too rubbish to freeze!

I know what will be will be, but I am not overly optimistic. DP keeps talking to the 'embryos' and asking if 'they can feel his love' if he puts his hand on me.... I'm worried he is going to be very disappointed...

Anyway, sorry for the big monologue. Everyone else seems to be a brave IVF soldier whilst I have found the whole process to be, well, quite horrid really. Now I just have the progesterone pizza face to look forward to in time for my Xmas party . I'm fine really, just having a rant. I'm just a moaner, ask Caitni .

Oh isle, you poor poor girl. So very sorry to hear it. I think we were all rooting for you and hoping your luck would take a turn for the best. You and your OH must be so sad. I feel useless to say anything helpful but I'm thinking of you, I think we all will be. Here for you whenever you want to come back on and vent, rage, cry, whatever you need to do. Take the best care of yourself.

Cross post with you there Bucky. That sounds like a pretty horrible experience, not exactly a smooth start with panicking over your bladder and then how much fun is it ever to have a horde of people looking up your foo foo? Especially in such an emotional and high stakes game as this one.

I am clueless over the "quality of embryos" diagnosis, not having been through it yet, but I understand that it's very common for them not to be good enough for freezing, and I wouldn't be surprised if the medics feel it best to downplay the adjectives to avoid planting huge optimism in patients. It is understandable for you to want to be told they are excellent quality, but average at least means as good as anyone else would get, and a 'poor' rating would be more worrying.

Your OH sounds lovely, and if you both direct lots of calm, loving thoughts at the embies hopefully you will do something to give them the very best chance. Fingers crossed for you.

Hope you're feeling better (esp your back) and can do something nice for the rest of the weekend to distract and pamper yourself. Take it easy.

LL in answer to your question, yes at the moment we are on the NHS referral list (at Guy's) but once we find out how the land lies we will make a decision about whether to self-fund or not. I think the NHS waiting list is at least 12 months there, according to their website, so I reckon we will end up paying. For now having the appointment seems to be helping me to chill out and I'm sure the 6 weeks til New Year will FLY by so I feel quite content really.

Thanks LL. I did think you were in the UK when last we 'talked' hence why I was confused . Thanks again for calming me down. I had a bit of an outburst . Guess it all just got to me today...some people just get to shag and have a baby , how novel that would be . Your story sounds amazing though and your DH sounds lovely.

Bucky Just a quick post to say I'm sorry it was so uncomfortable at ET. Wanting to pee when you can't is agony and I had to go and relieve myself of small amounts three times before I had ET.

The embryo quality thing is hard because no one really knows for sure how much the visual appearance of embryos equates to their stickability. Embryologists are very fussy about the quality of embryos for freezing and that's because the freezing/thawing process is stressful for embryos and therefore it doesn't make sense to freeze embryos that don't appear strong enough. Having said that 'average' is not bad, it is fine and there is certainly a chance that they will make it. All you need to do for now is relax, look after yourself and send some positive vibes to your embies. For now you are 'pregnant until proved otherwise'. You and your DH have created something and even if things don't progress you have acheived something which is a good step.Drs, embryologists and nurses have to be reasonably realistic with us and not get our hopes raised too high. It must be a hard balance to get right but they are just trying to keep our feet on the ground. For now please just focus on your embies and the 2 WW. It is not an easy time so talk to us lot as much as you want. Take care. GW

oh Isle I'm so so sorry. My heart goes out to you. After all you've been through, it's so unfair. You've been so brave throughout, and were so positive during this painful 2WW. I can't believe it. I really thought this was your time :-( Please keep talking to us and use us as a support - you've always been there for all of us! Take care xxxxxxxxx

Bucky don't worry at all about the grading - I'm not sure it's hugely important. My sister (a medic) likened it to looking at runners in an 100 lap race after the first lap - you can't really tell who's the strongest. By chance we had exactly the same outcome as you (one good with only 2 cells, and one average - and none good enough to freeze). But it worked (so far) - and I'll never know whether it was the "good" or "average" that got this far, but I just wanted you to know so you don't have ANY negative thoughts. Being positive and calm is so important right now. Good luck - and enjoy being a pizza-face, it might just be for a good thing!!

Isle I am so very very sorry. Life can be so unbelievably shit. My thoughts are with you - it's very very tough.

LondonLottie this has to be the most dramatic pregnancy ever! you're making the best of a really scary and stressful situation and I do admire you. It sounds like you're doing a fantastic job at giving those little girls the best possible start. And you can write a novel about it afterwards!

Bluebell that's amazing! Lucky lucky you. Congratulations and tons of sticky dust!

Gingerwine I wish there was something I could say that would make you feel better. I know how tough it is and how long it takes.

Bluebell what fabulous news. Just the kind of thing we all need to hear on here. Lots of baby glue to you.

Isle so many (((hugs))) for you. Please keep talking to us all. Do you have plans for what to do next?

Bucky I also found the whole IVF thing horrid and painful and yuck! I didn't make it to ET this time. Your DH sounds wonderful. Don't worry about disappointing him you are in this together, though I understand how you feel completely.

GW how are you? You are sounding so much more positive. How long till your next cycle? I reckon I will be having FET around March possibly

LL Gosh! What drama. You are going to have some very exciting stories to tell those little girls one day. How are you feeling now? Are you able to move around at all or are you chained to the bed? Hope things have calmed down, but as the others have already said 32 weeks is excellent - must be nearly 33 now? And so is 5lbs!

MamaChris nice to hear from you. What are your plans now? Hope you are feeling happier

Cerubina are you still considering counselling? You sound a lot chirpier now that you have your appointment through.

I am still a little exhausted from the whole OHSS thing, but am back at work and went to stay with my sis for the night on Sat - the three hour drive took it out of me, but it was lovely to see her and feel human again! Weighed myself last Friday and I had lost 8lbs! So I am now 1lbs lighter than I was before I started. So the crazy weight gain has basically just disappeard and I'm back in my jeans again. Hoped no one else gets OHSS, but if you do I hope that my experience provides useful info x

Hello everyone. I've been off radar lately.

I am so sorry Islegrin. You deserve success so much. I really hope you will pull through this horrible disappointment intact. Hope DP/DH is looking after you and making you feel loved and secure.

lottie well well well! 32 weeks gone now. It sounds like you're having a very "interesting" time of it all. I can only repeat what the other girls have been saying that it's just as well the hospital have kept you hostage. They only want to take the best care of you and the little ones. We all know that the longer the gestation period the stronger their lungs and respiratory systems will be, so be patient and relax if you can. Enjoy the time to read and sleep as you're gonna be so busy in 7/8 weeks time you'll look back and wish you had stockpiled the ZZZZZZZZs. Good luck my friend. thinking of you.

Hi Mamachris. I hope you are ok. I understand completely about not coming on MN for a while. you have to do (or not do) what you feel is right for you. We are here for when you need us.

Hi bucky. I don't know your story but here's wishing you good luck and a BFP very soon. Wouldn't it be nice if Santa brought us all what we really really want for Christmas. I'd give up all my shoes, boots and handbags if I could have a BFP. Please Santa? I've been very good this year, (and the last 4 years as well. Perhaps you forgot to read my list those times.)

Hi there.
Please may I join you all for a bit of support? I have been to see my consultant today and am deciding if I should go for IUI or IVF - thread here

Will have a read through and catch up and hopefully will become a regular poster.

Just a question. How do those of you who are having IVF and also work cope with time off and stuff like that?

((Isle)) so so sorry. after finally being given reason to hope, this is so cruel. do please take care.

Welcome DF. Time off wasn't so bad for me - most appts were at 8.15am, and I was in work by 9.15. Only for EC did I book a morning off work (annual leave). Then luckily ET was on a Saturday. It depends how flexible your work are, I guess.

nice to hear from you KC and glad you're doing ok mc.

Hi DF I'm new here too. .

I'm in my 2ww following ET (IVF) and as MamaChris said, all my appointments were really early...7am to 8am. I took a day off for EC and half day for ET. My work know though and were super cool about it. In fact my line manager has IVF twins himself .

Thank you everyone for your messages. They really did help calm me down, I was a little deflated by the whole process. Like KC has suggested, maybe Santa will give me an early Xmas present