Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 4 - all welcome

[mummycat1]

Starting new thread with massive congratulations to Nanoo I reckon the old man can wait till he gets home! But of course - it's up to you really xxx

Gingerwine you have not let anyone down and you do deserve that lovely DH. make the most of him. I hope that today's appointment is helpful to you in some way - if only to look forwards. Skiing sounds like a positive move - a good chance to enjoy something with your boys that you couldn't possible do with a little one in tow. I'm sorry, but I've never hear of DHEA, but surely someone on here must know about it.

Nanoo where are you? Thinking of you lots - hope all is well.

LL must be lovely to see your mum - I'm sure she will help sort your apartment out in your absence. Were you pleased with your purchases? has it made you want to shop more? What else are you doing to keep yourself busy in there?

Isle enjoy your trip - a great way to take your mind off of things.

I was grieving a little on Wed as we didn't even get to try this time and I now won't be allowed to consider FET until I have had three clear cycles which could be a long time coming. I also do not really expect that to work.

As it's two weeks after my HCG trigger shot I assumed that my AF would be due now, but the consultant said today that I should expect it to be about 6-8 weeks late! FET will be my only chance as there is no way I am going to put myself through a fresh IVF cycle again. I am going to ask for two goes at FET - just defrosting two embies at a time and taking my chances, but that's a while in the future now for me and I'm powerless to do anything except trying unassisted conception for a while

Well today's scans showed a dramatic reduction in ovary size and no fluid in my abdomen, pelvis or under my lungs. So I'm on the mend at last

Will go back to work next Thursday - there will be loads to catch up on there and a mountain of stuff to do and sort I'm sure. Planning to sweep it all to one side and start again and that's not just the work side of things.

One side effect of OHSS is dramatic weight gain. Although, I know that i have reduced in size and am losing fluid all the time now - I weighed myself yesterday and was 7lbs heavier than I had been before this started. So i guess I just have to focus on trying to get rid of this, plus the other 7lbs I was already hoping to do away with!

DH is being better. He has apologised a lot and said that he will try harder and bought me chocolates. Jumped straight back into bed with him - well it had been a while

Ah, Mummycat you really made me smile with your DH and the chocs...then jumping into bed with him. Really pleased things are happy between you - it's just what you need :-) I'm sure the weight gain is mostly just fluid, so it will fall off naturally over time (7lbs isn't very much anyway!!). Enjoy those chocs honey! It's great to hear you have a plan about FET too - although I like LondonLottie's idea about a mild IVF - maybe look into it?

Gingerwine you haven't let anyone down! It's not you, it's just all down to chance, please don't beat yourself up. You've got so much to deal with anyway. Like I said earlier, you must let yourself grieve - lots of curling up with DH on sofa is needed. He sounds fab. I'm sure he'll put up with you being miserable for as long as you need to. Good luck with the appointment today - I hope they are understanding. Big hug xxxxx

LL you made me smile with your reference to the mixed emotions around your Mum's visit. Exactly what I've just been through. My Mum's an angel - I'm so lucky to have her. But she also drives me nuts! She's just left, so I can finally take a breath, and sit down and catch up with you lot. The scan went OK yesterday, so I've been discharged from the clinic. BUT as soon as I went to my GP (as care gets transferred to him at this stage) he depressed me with statistics about possibility of mc after IVF. I know him quite well, and know he's just being practical trying to keep me realistic (and knowing my history he's probably being kind too). So no whooping and celebrating, just gonna be really careful for the next few delicate months. Would love to still stay on this thread. Have all my fingers crossed for some good news soon - Isle I hope you're enjoying your rest.....

Thank you all so much. Wise words as ever ladies. I know what you all say about it not being my fault is true but it's hard not to think it at times. We went for our test (30 mins drive each way - just to do a wee test!!!) Not surprisingly a BFN. The nurse was very nice though and said pretty much what you have said about it being down to odds and that I had responded better than expected. She advised us to go for our follow up and see what our consultant said. She seemed to think it would be worth us having another go and advised us to take a couple of cycles to recover. So I will make an appointment and we may have another go next year.

I have had a lovely lunch out with a very special friend and a few hugs too.

lottie - I will look into the 7-keto, thankyou. It seems I responded much as you did for your first cycle so I am being positive and thinking that I too could be very pregnant in a years time (not sure I want to copy being stuck in Swiss hospital though - I'll just settle for the BFP!!) I can empathise about your mum. Mine is great, really helpful but sometimes she just winds me up! It's lovely that she is so excited though and also looking after your DH.

mummycat - I'm so glad things are looking better for you. It must be very hard to have to wait so long to try FET. I think you had 4 frosties didn't you, so having two go's and thawing two at a time might be a good plan. There is still hope. I know you must be disheartened having not got to ET but try and think of it as a break during one cycle rather than starting over again. Not sure if that makes sense but I hope you know what I mean. I'm not sure I would want to start a fresh cycle after what you have been through and Create sounds like it might be worth enquiring about. The thought of chocolates has actually made me hungry! Glad things are good with your DH. Must admit the thought of a normal sex life for the next month or two is quite appealing.

nanoo - Great news about the scan. Sorry about your GP being negative. I'm sure we all know about the increased risks but right now you need positive thoughts and hope. Just take it reasonably easy and keep doing all you have been as it is clearly working so far. You can do nothing else. The time will pass and every week that goes by is a week closer to the next milestones. The worry never really goes does it? Please stay. You and others with BFPs keep the rest of us going. You remind us that these things actually work. Take care.

Hi to everyone else

Thank you for the advice on Create LL - just looking at my responses to the clomid which were always excellent should have made my clinic think carefully about the doses they were giving me! I'll do some research - but thank you again - you've made me feel like I might have more options if my FETs don't work.

nanoo I second what GW says - she put it so well xx

It's all gone very quiet on here! Hope you are all doing ok.

My AF came on Saturday so I obviously know my body better than the silly consultants at my clinic! One down and two to go until I can start thinking about FET - with no drugs hopefully! Am also dead pleased to be getting all the rubbish from the OHSS out of system.

So I'm CD3 and probably going to get some ovulation detecing device this month. I don't expect to be able to conceive, but at least I will know when my next AF is due.

Rang work today to sort out some details of a boy in my class who has been truanting. It was so lovely to be welcomed back with the words, "Where's your sick note?" - Just what I bloody needed. Having already been exceptionally picky over the details of a travel claim I made, this lady is already on the wrong side of me! And she has the bloody cheek to have the same first name as me too! Lol

Planned to do loads of work this morning whilst DD was at pre-school, but now the little lamb has a tummy upset - it never rains but it pours.

I had MC in 2007, Laproscopy and then caught a bug in 2008 and OHSS hell in 2009! And I'm usually so strong and capable - honest! November is officially my worst month ever!!

Anyone else got a particularly unlucky month in their life?

Hi mummycat. Hope your DD is ok now. I don't like November either, my Ex left me this month 4 years ago so a cycle failure adds to it being unlucky for me.

It is a bit quiet. I have just been staying away. I'm not really handling our BFN very well. I'm so close to tears at any little thing. I have made a follow up appointment for 2 weeks time, but I just dread doing it again and failing again. Also I am about to start my new job and I can't see how I can juggle scans and EC etc without causing major disruption at work. I know I will have to be up front and speak to my boss about it all but it's not a great way to start a new job really especially as success would mean maternity leave!

Good idea to get an ovulation kit this month MC. I think I will do that too. It will be good to have an idea of what is happening. My AF has been very heavy compared to an ordinary month. I assume this is normal after the drugs. Does anyone know what impact there is on ovulation for the cycle after IVF?

Hope everyone else is ok.

Just wanted to say how sorry I am that it didn't work for you this time Gingerwine .

On the new job front, perhaps you could just say it's something like fibroids or some sort of "female problem" that needs investigating/treatment and is personal enough to discourage further discussion. Having said that, my line manager (who had IUI to conceive hsi son) was very understanding about our ICSI but I had been in the job nearly 2 years.

It's good you're looking to the future but take as long as you need to get over this horrible news - very un-MN hugs to you

Hi all

Gingerwine I think caitni's idea of a "woman's problem" is a good idea, might buy you some time and flexibility while you suss out how the land lies in the new role. I'm sorry you're still feeling so down, but that's to be expected really after a big disappointment. Keep on talking to us and DH and you will get through it, a day at a time.

mummycat, you sound very positive with your "one down, two to go" approach and I'm sure visualising your system chucking out all the drugs and nasty stuff is probably a good thing to do. Onward and upward for you, and with luck the couple of months will fly by as Christmas/New Year will definitely distract you to some extent.

nanoo, I'm sure you don't need your GP to bring you down to earth with a bump but equally I suppose he's trying to be "doctorly" and help manage your expectations. Getting the thumbs up from the scan is a terrific milestone though, so keep focusing positive thoughts on the little one growing away and hopefully time will make you more and more confident.

LL you must be a bit outraged to have to share your space now! I'd probably be secretly glad if there wasn't a shared language though, so you can get away with doing your own thing and not having to make small talk. I am probably more antisocial than most though, comes from commuting every day! Hope you're not too bored in hospital and still feeling fit and well.

Thanks to LL, nanoo, isle and anyone else who gave their thoughts on counselling. It's useful to get other perspectives. Re what isle said about it not being a magic bullet...I think that is a good point, important not to invest too much hope in it fixing things altogether... but I do think having some time and space to get my jumbled thoughts out there and perhaps reassemble them in some kind of order might help. I haven't got too far with it yet - I thought I could get counselling through work as HR had said I could, but it turns out our staff helpline thingy don't offer it. I suppose then it's up to me to find someone myself or get referred - probably the former as I'm already on the referral wagon as it is (no word from the hospital still; ringing again tomorrow to check what's happening).

We also have some major building work starting at home next week - which is a big distraction from fretting over lack of progress so I have not been feeling so gloomy just recently. Once the work starts and in a few weeks we move into rented accommodation, that's when I'll be able to focus on this so hopefully the timing will work quite well. I am going to delegate all dealings with the architect to my husband as well, which he will be good at and will free me up to think calm thoughts!

Sorry to hijack when nobody knows me (except LondonLottie may remember me? ), but Caitni I didn't remember that your boss had fertility treatment . Mine has too, his IVF twins are only 18 months old so he is uber understanding. In fact he knows more than me!

I should confess to everyone else that I have been lurking on this thread for quite a while. Gingerwine - FWIW, as you don't know me, Caitni's idea is not a bad one or you could just book holiday for some of the scan days, EC and ET, then nobody will need to know.

LL if you do remember me (from the discussion about Scanhealth yonks ago), I went with NHS in the end. My PCT gives me 3 goes. EC is this Wednesday.

Sorry again for butting in .

Bucky you are certainly welcome here - and your name looks familiar to me, sure I must have seen some earlier posts or in other threads. Best for Wednesday!!

Cerubina try to ask for a referral (from your FC) to a therapist that specializes in fertility issues, my doc gave me two choices in case I was interested. That way you can cut to the chase a bit - than with a general therapist who might wander into other areas of life before getting to the root of things.

LL cycle has been ok so far, although today (day before EC)and after my trigger shot, I feel super super nauseous. (using that as a barf emoticon). I am, in the words of my DP, being a 'brave soldier', and battling on at work.

Like you though, not sure if this does not work I will be up to going at it again immediately though...its a bit of a mind-f*ck to put it politely . I'm not usually an uncouth chav mouth, just a bit 'sick' (literally) of everything today! The 2ww is going to be agony.

I know you are in Switzerland on bed rest but is that because that's where you had treatment or do you live there?

Oh and thanks for the welcome islegrin and good luck. x

BFP!!!!!

Was just waiting for af to start so we could do that iui before the last shot of ivf in Jan, and it was a bit late but Im not that regular, and then I felt a bit sick today feel totally drained so did a test. I know its very very very early days and at my age (42) who knows what will happen.

I just cant believe that my body has done it without assistance.. we were given a 5% chance of conceiving naturally. Im in total shock.

Bluebell OMG congratulations . Will be keeping my fingers tightly crossed that this is one sticky bean - amazing!

Hi all -

Well I am feeling calm, had a bit of a crazed hour yesterday, wanting to KNOW KNOW KNOW. So I tested this am - 11 DPO and it was negative, so to me that means I am 80% not going to have twins or triplets. But there is still a chance for a lovely singleton.

I'll test again on Thursday and probably Friday. Still feeling zen.

Gingerwine with you in spirit, hoping you are doing as well as you can.

LL I'll be sending a file stuffed in a cake so you can make your jailbreak sooner!

Bluebell MASSIVE CONGRATS!!!

Waves to everyone else!

Wow. Bluebell - That's brilliant news. It brought me to tears. I am so pleased for you and will be keeping everything crossed for you. Feeling sick this early has got to be a good sign. You must be cautiously over the moon.

Isle - Don't blame you for testing but as you say, it's still early so still time for those two lines to appear yet. You sound very calm. I'm sure that's the best way to be. Thinking of you and really hoping for your well deserved BFP on Friday.

Bucky - A big welcome to the thread. It's a great place to off load and get some really good advice from those who have been through the same experiences. I would have gone (even more) crazy without these ladies here. Wishing you lots of luck for EC tomorrow. Let us know how it all goes.

Lottie, Caitni, Cerubina, Isle and everyone else - Just a huge thankyou for listening to my moaning recently and always being there with advice. I am still pretty down but not quite all the time now so that is something I guess! This is honestly one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. I don't suppose I need say anything at work for some time as it will be some time in the new year if we give it another go. By then I will know whether honesty is best or something more vague. I could use the female problems line, thankyou for your ideas girls. I'm not sure I can rush back in to another cycle to be honest. Physically I could start again tomorrow but emotionally I need a break. Time for christmas and maybe a holiday in the new year first.

Lottie - 32 weeks. That is so great for your girls. A milestone as you say. I appreciate time must be travelling pretty slowly for you but it you really are on the home stretch now. How's the Russian by the way?

Bluebell - I still can't believe it. CONGRATS! CONGRATS! CONGRATS!!!!!

BLUEBELL!! That's amazing. BIG HUGE congratulations What a lovely surprise too - when the odds you were given weren't very high. Wow. Inspiration to us all to keep going in between AC cycles just in case. That's wonderful news. Will your clinic help you through the first few scans or are you discharged straight away?

Oh Isle brave you for testing already. It's still SO early so I wouldn't think about the result - it doesn't mean anything at this stage. Whatever you do, don't let it stop your lovely calm, rest and leave behind any negative thoughts. Keep thinking stick stick stick....grow grow...

Also wanted to say welcome to Bucky - not sure we've chatted before, but really really good luck with EC today. Did you say this is your first ivf cycle? We'll all be thinking of you. I'd stay on this thread if it is - the girls here are amazing - not just because of all the combined knowledge, but everyone is so supportive and understanding. The next 2 weeks you could really need it.

LL your doing so well in there - week 32!! The girls are really properly developed now, just a bit of growing to do - a few more weeks of internet shopping and MN and you'll be with them!! And free!!

Nothing to report here except I feel sick (but I'm hoping that's a good thing so am not complaining!!)

Gingerwine really appreciate your good luck wishes, "cautiously over the moon" is very accurate. We are still in shock, we had pretty much given up hope with the very low odds of success (5%/10% with ivf) we were given in Sept, and I completely underestimated the impact our ivf would have physically, emotionally and mentally - we both needed those months to recover, so I think focusing on a holiday is a good idea, enjoy your Christmas and have a break.

Thanks Islegrin and I am keeping my fingers firmly crossed for your BFP on Friday.

Caitni how are things with you?

Nanoo hope the sickness is easing, when do you have your first scan? After I read your post I thought Id better let my clinic know - they were very happy and said the nurse will ring tomorrow, a scan was included in the ivf I did in july, do you think they?ll let me have it now?

Bucky hope EC went well today and youre not too sore. Let us know how youre getting on.

Well if you don?t mind me hanging around this thread a bit longer I would love to stay. Don?t think I could have got through the summer without all your support and its still early days for us, Im terrified that it could all just disappear at any time.

Hi all, my EC was ok, got 10 eggs, 9 of which fertilised over night. . Having a Day 2 transfer in the morning. Hope everyone is having a good day.

Gosh and I forgot...so self absorbed . Although we have only just 'met' congratulations Bluebell.

Just wanted to wish isle heaps and heaps of luck for testing day. I do hope you get your BFP and have everything crossed!

Bluebell congratulations, it must feel completely unbelievable to have a BFP when you were given poor odds of success. Brilliant news and I hope the hospital give you all support and scans that you need. I would guess they'd be happy to since you were already under their care even if this wasn't an IVF pregnancy?

Bucky wow, those are great stats from your EC! I hope ET goes well - will you be having two put back? Best of luck for it and hope the 2WW goes swiftly and easily!

Hello to everyone else too. I am delighted this week as have finally got my appointment letter through from the hospital. I don't know what happened with the referral letter as I rang up on Tuesday to check progress with it, was told they hadn't had it, so decided to go to the surgery myself, pick up a copy and walk it round to the ACU in person! But when I got home I found the appointment letter sitting there waiting. So we are underway - the appt is on 30th December and we will just manage to make a start in 2009 therefore. I'm very pleased and relieved, and hope progress from here is a bit less subject to interference from external forces!!