Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 4 - all welcome

[mummycat1]

Starting new thread with massive congratulations to Nanoo I reckon the old man can wait till he gets home! But of course - it's up to you really xxx

Kiwi I agree with Cerubina buy yourself some time with general girlie bits comments! Sounds so annoying but don?t give out anything you don?t want to unless someone can PROVE they have a right to know. I nearly have told my boss a few times but there is a possible new job and if I get a chance and then the IVF thing gets in the way I will be sad even though IVF is more important to me, best to keep all options open!

Cerubina hope it will all be OK, try and stay strong and gets lots of good support from dh and others.

riggly, Amber, Horton, Rosie, Penguin* Fairgodmother1,MM, Isle etc etc thinking of you all

Idreaminchocolate what are you up to? How is the healthy eating?

Bumpless are you back from Greece yet? Any news? So want it all to have gone well for you.

No news yet for me, felt very emotional yesterday and cried, said DH didn't want to have another baby etc. Just my hormones! But worried this is a period building as not meant to have them. Can one go from being glad to see periods to not wanting them in a month! Buseralin is meant to keep them at bay! Not sure but will see. Latest news is that there is no news so when donor has scan we will know more. Excited, watching 'One born every minute' making me eager to be pregnant and not quite so eager to give birth all in one go!

Sorry if I have missed anyone

Right ladies, got you a Cadbury?s Creme Egg to share today, but please wipe your hand before coming back to the thread, - I don?t want to have to spend the rest of the afternoon wiping up sticky finger prints!

Ooo, Fairygodmother1, which Ugh boots (thanks Italian!!) did you get? I went in for some purple ones but decided they looked a bit like slippers, but was still going to get them until I realised that they were really too big for me (children?s size 3 ? the shame!!) so went for classic brown ankle ones which I love! How?s your referral wait going? Have you heard anything else? Re: your question about telling work, I have just been really upfront with them and told them everything. I was worried that it might harm my career / the way I was perceived, but as I live so far from where I work and the hospital is even further away in the opposite direction it would be impossible to go for daily appointments without it being pretty noticeable! I?ve told my boss, who is great, but a total strapping rugby playing Yorkshireman ? he actually physically winced when I mentioned the word ovary and basically does not want to know any of the details ? I think he?s just said I can have any time off that I need so that he doesn?t have to hear anything about it!!! I?ve also told the deputy manager who is the exact opposite ? he has 4 kids, so he is pretty au fait with the whole baby / pregnancy thing and I have told my ?buddy?, who is a good mate as well, as I felt it would be only fair that she knew what was going on as she would be picking up the slack if I?m not around. The rest of my (fairly small) team don?t know, but have probably guessed that ?something? is going on. It has been a huge weight of my mind that they know what?s going on and to be honest I think my work and track record (I make very good rockets ? again, thanks to Italian!!) speaks for itself insofar as my career is concerned ? and besides, it?s illegal to discriminate against me just because I?m planning a pregnancy!!

Bumpless hope your trip to Greece went well and that you enjoyed your pre-transfer cocktails. Is it this dress from Monsoon that you have treated yourself to? I?ve had my eye on this one, and have just noticed that it?s called ?Bea?, which is what I?d like to call my little girl when I get her (short for Beatrix)!!

BTW, not trying to turn this in to a ?Style & Beauty? thread, despite appearances!!

Hi PenguinDreams, hope you?re okay. Just going back to the conversation ages ago about eating disorders and infertility, the dietician at the ACU said that my bulimia could well have contributed to my PCOS (obviously I was probably born with PCO, but that it might have helped turn it in to the syndrome, if you see what I mean) as eating disorders mess up your insulin levels. I have been recovering for some years now but lapse every now and again, but last summer the dietician said that if I started throwing up again now it could seriously harm my chances of conception (and I also wonder if they would refuse to treat me), so despite the occasional urge (especially with now needing to lose weight) I?ve not lapsed since then. Thanks for your support. Oh, and I?ve also picked up on the tip you gave KiwiKat about eating protein and drinking lots of water ? I hadn?t heard about that so I shall certainly be giving that ago when I start the drugs!

Islegrin, glad you survived the tsunami unscathed! Glad to hear that you had good news from the doc and that you?re going to carry on trying. Do you get Cadbury?s Creme Eggs in Hawaii?

Fantastic news from your scan, RosieB!! Riggly, how are your injections going?

Glad you enjoyed the cupcake MM. How are you holding up? Any news from your scan?

Kiwi - good luck for Friday. Does your company have an HR department? If so I think you should consult them re: what you have to tell your boss. I work for a really big company which has standard procedures for this kind of thing, and it just says for ?elective fertility treatment? (nothing ?elective? about it, mate!) employees should take annual leave for time off, but that this was down to individual line manager?s discretion.

Cerubina - LOL re: ?problems with periods ? you keep getting them every month?. SO true!!! Sorry to hear your news, but if it makes you feel any better I?m pretty sure that all of us will be (virtually) holding your hand for your scan tomorrow. Hugs for AmberC as well xxx

Hi there my cycle buddy Italiangreyhound! I?ve given you your very own post as well, although mainly because my last one was getting far too long!!

Sorry to hear you were feeling emotional yesterday (hug). I wouldn?t assume that it?s a period brewing ? all the angst involved in this kind of thing is bound to make you feel emotional every now and again ? to paraphrase Cerubina - babymaking is hard. How are you doing today? I got mega upset the other week when DH said he didn?t think about the IVF very much, but turns out he was just being grumpy and admitted the other day that he thinks about it all the time. They wouldn?t go through all this is they didn?t want to (for us and for them).

I had noticed that you were getting my name wrong but decided not to correct you as I didn?t want to appear precious or pedantic! It is indeed IdreamINchoocolate, as in the Lindt adverts (cue cheesy voice) ? ?Do you dream in chocolate?? and I actually do!!!

I?m doing pretty well at the moment. I had an acupuncture appointment last Saturday (will be going weekly from now on) and have felt so much better since then, a lot less up and down (in fact not really down at all, which is good!). Any ladies who are finding this thing tough (and let?s face it ? who isn?t?) should definitely give acupuncture a go. I?ve also felt better since we?ve had some sunshine this week. I think I have that ?S.A.D.? as I get so miserable every January and February anyway, and then as soon as it gets a bit sunny I?m like ?Oh yeah, that?s why I?ve been feeling down?. I?ve been meaning to buy myself a lightbox for years but have never got round to it. (KiwiKat - I am so with you on the whole ?Yeay, it?s Spring!? thing!!)

I went to the hospital this morning as I requested that my DH have another sperm swim and wash-up (or whatever it?s called. Probably not that as he never does manage to do the washing up?) and the results were pretty good (relatively speaking of course!!). His count was 18M (last one was 5M, so big improvement there) and also motility was 12%, compared to 4% last time. Obviously we?re still going to have to have IVF/ICSI, but I was a bit worried that we?d get to EC and then discover we have not sperm to work with, so to speak!

Healthy eating a little questionable, but back at the gym and have walked about 2 ? 3 miles so far today!! You?

I have to ask ? you post at some funky times, are you an insomniac? I?m guessing that you don?t work shifts as you said that you are an administrator. Or does your little girl keep you up? Or? are you a vampire? Owl? Other night-type creature? Or do Italian Greyhounds only come out in the wee small hours?

I did watch OBEM ? it was a nice episode this week. I was particularly amused when Joy and Fabio just stood open mouthed in the corridor listening to that woman scream!! I thought it was so touching at the end, the way that she was so smitten with her baby (and what a cute baby!!) What?s wrong with ?Elvis? for a name?

Right, better get on with things ? got an inch of water in my cellar to mop up. No idea where?s coming from yet either!! On go the wellies?..

Hello ladies!

Well, I survived the scan today and the result confirmed what I've already known for a week. I wanted to be the strong and silent type but ended up all tearful. But at least its all behind me now and its onwards and upwards!

Speaking of onwards, the DH and I have decided to try again in a month or two. However, we are wondering if we should stay at the same clinic or try treatment elsewhere - and I need your advice!

We were referred to our current clinic 3+ years ago now for our one free shot on the NHS. We were really impressed with them throughout the whole process and our ICSI cycle ended successfully with the conception and birth of our DD.

We went back to the same clinic for the FET, which we had to do privately, and were not nearly as impressed. Every time I called the clinic I was on hold for around 20 minutes before I was able to speak to anyone (even when booking appointments), we never spoke to a consultant after the initial consult - and in fact never saw the same person twice during the process! There was little to no flexibility in appointment times/dates. The embryo transfer felt like a production line and when I started bleeding / spotting the day after the transfer, I was told the best way to communicate with the clinic was by email (they did respond on the same day, but I was desperate to speak to someone!).

Anyway, the point of this long-winded tirade is that it made me realise that I don't actually know what a 'private' IVF experience should be like. What are the basics that I should expect? And what is just plain unrealistic to expect? Very broad question, I know, but if anyone can answer it, you ladies can!

And by the way, Kiwi when I started this latest cycle, I asked a friend who was an HR director what I should tell my boss about my absences. Her advice was to lie, lie and lie again - and when that was done, take annual leave. Unofficially, of course.

So, I agree with Cerubina that probably the best course of action is to buy yourself some time with girlie bits comments. If you're doing EC tomorrow (and good luck!) then there's only ET left to take time off for. Of course later there will be all those antenatal appointments, but by then you'll be so happy you won't care!

Big waves to everyone else - and thank you all for your lovely messages over the past week! It really has kept me going...

Idreaminchocolate Well done on staying healthy. And fashionable! Thanks for my own post! Thanks for your kind words about my DH. I am pretty sure he doesn?t think about anything as much as me! I mean as much as I do!

I am an insomniac! Well, always have been a night bird and of late have got into the habit of staying up late. I must stop as it s not good for my health so off to bed for me. Hope you did not wear that fab dress with the wellies while mopping out the cellar!

One born every minute - I felt really touched with the two stories, so different and yet linked by a degree of sorrow and suffering and then the birth of a lovely little girl for each. Fabio was the first husband who impressed me with his ability on the ward!

MercenaryMom I am so sorry for your experience and I am thinking of you. Not sure what to advise about the clinic so will tell you our experience and you can judge for yourself.

But before I do that am I right in thinking you have no frozen embies left? If you did have any I would want to continue until you had tried to have a cycle with each of them, which may or may not mean staying at same clinic.

-Our experience- We had IUI with a clinic that was paid for by us, although the clinic was possibly NHS/private, never really sure what the distinctions are in some of these situations. Our second IUI (with Menopur) resulted in DD 5 years ago. Hooray.

When DD was 9 months old we started again and had a mmc at a very early stage through natural conception when DD was just over a year old. We discovered the mmc when we went in for treatment scan to start treatment. After several more attempts we were told it would not work. This time we were using Gonal F instead of Menopur as the clinic said that that was what they now used. We asked for a second opinion and were told that donor eggs were our best bet. As we already had a child they would not do IVF for us with donor eggs.

I felt that Gonal F was not working for me and would like to try Menopur again. I researched on the Intranet and found a clinic that would provide donor eggs if we needed and would also do embryo freezing and IUI with my own eggs, although they too felt donor eggs was the way to go.

We went for IUI a few times at our new clinic, which is one of the Care Fertility clinics spread around the midlands and beyond. We tried IVF with my own eggs. No luck. Went for IVF cycle with own eggs and no eggs. Went on the register for donor eggs and here just 14 brief months later we are waiting our treatment to end! It is true it might have been under a year if last attempt had worked, no one?s fault. We are CMV neg so that has meant a longer wait.

We have always found our clinics (both of them) to be polite, helpful, it seemed as if what they said was correct and accurate, as far as we know. We never got pregnant with my eggs again so that seemed to back up what they said, whether we used Gonal F or Menpur. I found all the doctors, nurses and other staff helpful and polite; I would even go so far with both comics to say they were kind. Which was what I needed. At our current clinic the donor egg coordinator is available by email but speaking to her by phone is much better, she works hard and returns my calls as promptly as possible. I always feel amongst friends when I go to the clinic and as a sensitive little flower I like the personal touch!

In summary, MercenaryMom, if you are not happy with you treatment and are paying I would go back to the start and look on the intranet, HFEA info and see what other clinics within reasonable distance are available to you in terms of treatment, finance, travel etc and where you get a warm welcome. If you do not find one that is up to scratch, stay where you are and if you do then move. But you would need to pay consultation fees again and probably blood tests etc. Let us know how you get on. All the very best.

Anyway, I must go as I am a recovering insomniac!

pS

That is both clinics NOT both comics. Go to bed IGH!

Just poking my nose in to say GOOD LUCK today to KiwiKat - hope your irritating colleague has kept her nose out of it. It must annoy the hell out of her if you just stonewall! I agree with the others - just lie and lie again to her, nosy old bat!

Sorry that the news was as you thought MM, better luck next time. From what you have said, I'd be inclined to change clinics. Doesn't sound like you have much trust in them, which would do it for me.

Idream, glad the acupuncture is working well for you, long may it continue! I never got comfy with it - tried it a few times but it just hurt and I didn't like it at all. I might try and persevere for the FET cycle, we'll see. Great news about your H's SA! And well done on not lapsing, it is tough but a hell of a lot better than still being on that rollercoaster.

Bumpless, how are you getting on?

Isle, glad you got some good news from the Dr, but what was it? Is it good news if there's no reason why it didn't work? Given the history, is anyone suggesting immune testing? I have been reading Is your Body Baby Friendly? (um, no, obviously) and it is definitely interesting!

Bit of a me me me one but just to let you know that, like MM, my re-scan showed what we were expecting. The baby has not developed at all since last week, so it was already dead and that is that.

It was a lot more upsetting than I had expected, considering that I already knew all this. Somehow today I found the whole undressing in a cramped space, sitting with feet in uncomfortable stirrups, being probed by a stick wearing a condom all horribly undignified, even though I have been through it many times, and it seemed to add to the unpleasantness.

My poor husband was very upset too. And we got our 12 week scan appointment through yesterday too, so that was unfortunate timing. Now I have all the horrible business of unbooking myself with doctors and clinics and so on.

The doctors today offered us the option of an ERPC the week after next!! or expectant management. I think I have begun the process already so with luck it will all pass before the ERPC slot would come up anyway. So at the moment that is what we are opting to do.

MM, sorry it went the same way for you.

Hi to everyone else and good luck to Kiwi for today.

Italian - I'm in the UK. I'm afraid the boss IS the HR dept, so that's pretty much the end of that, in terms of redress. Cerubina, I've used the 'girly bits' excuse, but that steely glint in her eye saw all the way through to my quivering soul, and I'm convinced she's sussed it. That said, I think it's mainly that she's nosey, as Amber suggested, so I'll just hope that she gets interested in someone else and loses interest in me. IDreaminChocolate - I've taken this time as annual leave too, so actually, it really is NONE OF HER DAMN BUSINESS.

Riggly - hope the injections went well.

MM and Cerubina - hugs to you both. x

Well, EC went ok today. The hardest part was putting the IV in my hand - made a bit of a mess of it on the left, so ended up doing it on the right and it hurt like billy-oh. But all seemed to go ok, and they got 4 eggs, so fingers crossed that DH managed to produce the promised Super Sperm, and we have good news back tomorrow.

Big hugs to Penguin and everyone else. x

Hi ladies,

Hope you're all looking forward to the weekend. I've been on annual leave yesterday and today, just to get some jobs sorted (car in the garage etc) so have spent a couple of hours both days in my local town waiting for the garage to call me (to tell me yet again that they've not done what they're supposed to - another story) and as I'm not used to being around in the week (being a rocket scientist takes me in to the big city every day), I hadn't realised how many mummys and grannys with their babies there are around. at one point yesterday I was sitting in Costa Coffe literally flanked by said mummies and babies. It's was hard - I felt quite lonely, despite being fairly upbeat at the mo. After I left the coffee shop I came out and realised that it was next to Mothercare (I've only been to the town centre 3 times in the whole 3 1/2 years we've been living here!!!) and saw a really cute babygro that had a slogan on it that would really mean something to me and DH ("Mummy and Daddy and Me makes 3" - we love the song "3 is a magic number"). Poo.

Italian I haven't actually bought that dress, but it would have been appropriate today as when I got in the cellar had flooded again - I think second time round I should have dressed up for the occasion of mopping it out!!!

The doctors today offered us the option of an ERPC the week after next!!Cerubina, that is a terrible wait! When I had my MMC, I was booked in for the ERPC the following day, though obviously I could have chose to do it naturally had I wished to.

Cerubina so sorry for you, no real words, just a sad little face . Hugs to you and your poor dh too.

KiwiKat I think your nosy boss is maybe the kind of person who is best put off by lots of smoke screens! I mean by that that is you act sheepishly and shy and look 'guilty' - guilty of wanting something about a billion other people do! So not really guilty at all!! But maybe if you can bluff her with lots of babble and sound like you are totally at home talking about girlie bits in a really non-specific way she will be actually bored by it all!!

Penguindreams Good to hear from you again. I hope all is going well and calm.

Idreaminchocolate I can just picture you on your rocket, poodling around town! I know how you feel (a bit) although I have a lovely DD all the people I run into around town and at the Toddlers group where I still occasionally do the story have a second younger child. It is quite weird; I do feel like something is missing. I will get over it if it does not happen and I do really appreciate DD 100% but when she is at school and all my friends are around with their babies I do feel a little like you did in that coffee shop. Hope that isn't a presumption to say, we can never really know exactly how another feels can we. Went to keep fit this week - exhausted! Buy that dress, it is fab, and if you get pregnant you won?t be able to fit into it so get some wear out of it now, but NOT in the bl**dy cellar!

MM and Cerubina Sorry your scans confirmed the worst, you both seem to be being really strong - I can't imagine how you feel.

Kiwi so far I haven't told any at work anything, I've just warned my boss I wanted to take some odd days off in April but hadn't decided which yet (have got some time off in March anyway using up leave before end of financial year which may cover some appts). If when I ask for the time off she says no (which may happen especially over school holidays as lots of people have already booked time off) I haven't decided whether to just tell her the truth or try something broader first (I've got a hospital appt or something) and hope she doesn't ask for more details. I have been finding this whole issue possibly the most stressful thing so far, bizarrely as my boss is really nice, so I do feel for you. As someone else said, hopefully you will have some good news in a few weeks and then you won't care any more. Good luck for good news tomorrow.

Idreaminchoccy I hate that feeling when it seems like everywhere you go you are surrounded by babies or baby talk or baby related things. I'm not sure whether its because I'm more sensitive to the whole subject or just that most of my friends/ collegues are of that age but it does drive me nuts sometimes. Never mind, hopefully soon that will be all of us.

I haven't had any injection related problems so far, apart from having to get up earlier as I'm not exactly nifty at it yet. This probably sounds weird but I can't decided if I want to get side effects to show something is happening or not (I'm sure I will regret saying that soon!)

to everyone

Hot tea and plenty of biscuits for MM, Cerubina, and AmberC.

Penguin - what's up with you, my darling dear? Are you just waiting or has there been more drama?

Sorry that I cannot remember this if anyone has told me before - but has anyone been through a laproscopic surgery? I'd like to know more about it from your point of view. What's the good, bad and ugly about it? Would you do it again? How "necessary" did you think it was at the time, and did it turn out that way?

I'm considering it to help or remove one of my tubes that may be causing some fluid problems that may be leading to the non-sticking factor.

xx Isle

KiwiKat great news on the 4 eggs and I'm sending you fertile thoughts. Seems like Italiangreyhound's chocolate boobies would be appropriate for fertility wishes?!

Cerubina I'm sorry for your sad news. Hope you're holding up.

Isle I had a laproscopy ages ago as part of my initial investigations. The HSG test turned up something odd (the consultant and HSG tech disagreed over what it meant) so they did a laproscopy and hysteroscopy and it turned out to be nothing. It was pretty scary at the time because I'd never had surgery of any description. However, I guess it is actually a bit like EC. I was heavily sedated and don't remember a thing. I took it easy for the rest of the day of the procedure and then was pretty much back to normal. I do still have a tiny scar above my belly button from the laproscopy - which I blame for holding back my career as a bikini model...

On the whole, I suppose it was good though, because it gave the doctors the opportunity to have a very close look at all the bits and pieces and make sure they're in proper working order. Had they found anything to be concerned about, I was told that it potentially could have been corrected during the laproscopy, too.

Italiangreyhound thanks for sharing your experience of private clinics. We are quite attached to our clinic - not only is it where we conceived our DD but it is also sandwiched between the hospital where my husband was successfully treated for cancer and the maternity hospital where I gave birth to DD.

However, there were some frustrations this cycle (apart from it being unsuccessful) and I'm not sure if they are due to our unrealistic expectations of the private IVF experience or not. For example, we were hoping to have greater flexibility (and availability) with appointment times, ability to speak to staff directly, perhaps seeing the same staff rather than a different person each time, and being offered a de-brief at the end. Since the DH and I really like the consultant, we think we may schedule an appointment with him to discuss the next steps and to raise our concerns about the last cycle. There is another IVF clinic near to my office and I may see if I can get a tour from them, too.

Enough rambling on about my problems. I'm passing around the chocolate croissants, which seem appropriate for a Saturday morning...

MM & Cerubina - you poor things - I can't imagine how it must feel even though you were fairly sure what theoutcome was. Lots of hugs.

kiwikat - any news?!!!!

MM re private treatment. i am at the Lister in Chelsea. I have not found it to be any different really from what I would expect of an NHS service. I have to wait ages even with an appointment time and i can only speak to someone by leaving a message and having it returned a few hours later. Sending an email is also the best way of communication. I only saw a consultant onc and then once again to decide whether to abandon or go ahead and it was a different person. I have not been offered an appointment to discuss my failure but I do get a free one to dicuss what happens next if I do it within 6 weeks.

I have decided that Monday is the start of new new positive regime. I am DETERMINED to get pregnant with or without help and I am going to lose weight, get healthy, start sleeping better and have a more positive frame of mind. i have ordered a load of Zita West's Vitafem and Vitaman for DP and I will wait for as long as it takes for me to feel my optimum healthiness before starting again. I actually feel quite liberated!

HELLO ALL-Am new to this thread but can I please join??? It is comforting to be able to share experiences and have the support of others going thru similar. I feel for all of you who have obv suffered so much and hoping for a positive outcome for all.

My situation is this and prob only just beginning and feel so disheartened and down

Have TTC for 1st time for 2 years 1 month now-am just about to turn 34 and DH is 37 and have had all the usual initial investigations done-bloods for prog, day 5 CD, prolactin, have had cycle monitoring and HSG and all normal-so labelled "unexplained infertility" Was expected to wait until may to see consultant on NHS but just couldn't bear it so saw him privately this wk. Explained I could have parental induction of ovualtion with either fertilty drugs or clomid and IUI or begin IVF (NHS wait is currently 1 year) The success rates differ so much between the two so I thought would go straight for IVF privately.

The nurse specialist rang me yesterday and told me the price of IVF is at least £4500 and going for private treatment automatically removes you from NHS waiting list. This was abit disheartening as I initially thought if 1st attempt doesn't work we could at least have another go. After all we are not mega well off but I thought you can't put a price limit on this?? We have an appointment to discuss all our options in more detail in a fortnight and I am seeing the counsellor on monday (may as well as then don't have to keep going on at DH who I feel is sick of talking about it) I almost feel sick of talking about it and feel sometimes am almost boring MYSELF! I want a DD/DS more than anything and it all just seems so unfair.

Anyway as I said hope I can join in with you and offer my support to all you guys if you don't mind a newbie!! Off out to a late lunch now with DH-We have to treat ourselves and try to keep happy don't we xxx

Welcome PumpkinJoy! So sorry to hear about your troubles along the way, but this group is very accustomed to such, so we should be able to offer some helpful words and comfort.

MM Thanks so much for you lap story, it has helped. I thought it would be much more painful since it's a "real" surgery. I've had a hysteroscopy done with concious sedation and that was super easy, and no pain at all. But I'm worried about the anesthesia, sore throat, nausea, pain in shoulders from the gas they use with lap... etc. etc. Although the upside is that if they find that the tube is producing this clear fluid they can try to open it or remove it right on the spot, all in the same procedure.

Oh, yeah and the scarring. Only one scar? I thought it was two or three...hmm. I'm sad to know it limited your bikini model career - here have a drink and a pill - because I know models don't actually eat!

Sorry SlickBirdDreams I didn't mean to ignore your query. The doc said that we had "minor issues, which have mostly been fixed" due to the removal of scaring which caused the heart shaped ute, and the by-passing of bad tubes. We asked about donor eggs or surrogacy and she told us that there was "no medical reason" to pursue those and that by all accounts we were fertile because we make good eggs, sperm and embryos. I also asked her, knowing what we know now... about how many "good" trys have we had (meaning how many attemps had real possibilities of success, because we now know that natural and IUI wouldn't work due to bad tubes) and she said "the equivalent of 2 months" Which took a load off my shoulders of about 100 pounds, becasue I was thinking in terms of 56 cycles of failure! So by comparison, 2 cycles of failure is way better. (I'm in the A/C warp, I know)

We asked at what point does she recommend people stop trying, and she answered that sometimes she recommends they stop before the first IVF, if their factors dictate another route - such as donor eggs or surrogacy. So that was comforting too. Also, out of the last FET cycle of patients (at the same time as me) I was the 1/9 who DIDN'T get pregnant. Same as last time 1/7 who didn't fall. My fresh cycle there were 2 of us who didn't fall - out of 11 I think. I think her results are that good because if the monitoring results aren't according to plan, she will delay and treat or abandon a cycle. She is really careful about meeting all of the benchmarks - if my follicle size isn't up to par, she gives me treatment and waits. Same with hormone levels or what not. She's a stickler. (oh, goodness I've gone on and on - I do apologize!)

I have a basic question for you all - is a "consultant" a doctor or not always? It's interesting to hear your experiences with NHS and private clinics, as an outsider. I have a super nice nurse that has attended most of our treatments, occasionally there is another one that will fill in, but the same doc each and every time. The doc also does all of the scans personally, with the nurse standing by. It's amazing how I feel close to them now, since we've been going there for a year.

xx

Hello all, I haven?t posted here for a while so just been catching up on all the posts from the last week or two.

Hi to pumpkinjoy you sound like you are in pretty much the same situation as me, except I am older. I decided to go for the Clomid but wish I hadn?t as I feel like I wasted six months so I think you are right to go for the IVF. Though would you consider maybe doing 3 months of clomid just to see what happens? - I did six which I think was 3 months too much.

Amber, I am so sorry to hear that things have not gone well and I hope you are all getting lots of support and tlc.

MercenaryMom and Cerubina I am so sorry your second scans did not bring good news and that you are also getting lots of tlc.

Rosie great news about your scan, you must be so relieved.

KiwiKat how awful that you had to go through your boss probing you for info so far my Boss hasn?t asked me what procedure I am having, thankfully. I have no intention of telling her. Was really interested to read your post about your EC, makes it all less scary for me so thank you I hope you have some good news soon about the egg transfer.

riggly my intention was to take the treatment days as holiday but I have decided to book it as ?sick leave? as my HR dept seem ok with it and didn?t ask me what I am having done. I just said I would be going into hospital for a ?medical procedure? and that depending on how well I healed and reacted to the drugs they will be giving me I would not need more than a few days off. They bought it and haven?t asked questions and it means I can use what little holiday I have left for a week off after the transfer.

Islegrin - wow about the Tsunami, I didn?t realise you would be caught up in it, glad you are ok.

Idreaminchocolate I am interested in your acupuncture, I am having weekly appointments (had 3 so far) and don?t feel any different. What kind of thing should I be expecting to experience? My acupuncturist asks me every time if I feel better and I just don?t know what to say. I have changed my diet so much in the last few weeks that I can?t be sure which changes are from which thing - I have been completely T-total for a month.

Italiangreyhound I had a major emotional moment with my DH last week and in many ways it has cleared the air and made him see that he needs to be giving me more support. Sometimes I think our emotional outbursts can be a good thing.

Hi also to anyone I have missed.

I got my period today after coming off the pill on Thursday which was a relief as it puts me bang on target. My bassline scan is on Tuesday and then I start the injections. Am a little bit scared and a little bit excited. DH has finally gone on a detox too and is doing really well. My sister made me an orange bracelet because I had told her about the story I read on here about surrounding yourself with orange, which was really sweet of her. Yet another one of my DH?s friends has announced a pregnancy, that?s 3 of them now who will all have their babies close to eachother next July/August and which has made me feel a bit excluded as I know now I will be surrounded by babies for ever more. They are all at that age (early 30s) where starting a family becomes important but also a little bit of me wonders if they have all seen my struggle and it?s scared them into trying sooner than they might have.

So ? I will hopefully be starting the process soon, hopefully the injections will all be ok. I am trying to think positively while being realistic too. Have also started to think positively about the prospect of twins as it?s always scared me a bit. Now I feel like I will cope if that is what I am given.

has anyone been through a laproscopic surgery?

I had an investigative laparoscopy to rule out endometriosis. It was fine. I will say that initially the pain and swelling was more than I expected but it did heal very very fast so overall it wasn't too bad. The scar is completely invisible now (less than a year later).

Welcome, PumpkinJoy. I also have unexplained infertility. We conceived my DD naturally a few years back following two years of trying and just about to start treatment so don't give up hope, you are still relatively young in IVF/fertility treatment terms.

Amber thanks for the info - it sounds like my clinic might just be normal then... And you've inspired me with your positive regime! I think I should follow your excellent and positive example.

Pumpkinjoy welcome! We never get bored discussing these things, don't worry!

Islegrin I didn't find the lap any worse than an EC to be honest, although it takes a bit more time to recover from the anesthesia (don't remember any particularly unpleasant side effects). I think they only went in once (hence one scar) so it might be different for you, but honestly, the incisions were tiny. You have nothing to fear, I promise!

It doesn't rain but it pours around here. Have been trying to cheer myself up by thinking that now that I'm un-pregnant I can fully enjoy our upcoming ski holiday (which pregnant would have been no skiing, no alcohol, no smelly cheese!). However, learned today that DD has been exposed to chicken pox and is likely to come down with them that week. Argh!

pumpkinjoy Welcome. Yes, treating yourself and keeping happy is absolutely ESSENTIAL! I am so sorry to hear your news and to know that this is happening for you too. I don?t want to jump in and offer advice but if I can just say please do look around because I don?t think all clinics charge £4500 for one cycle of IVF, I am sure you could get it cheaper at other places, not sure where in the UK are, or even if you are in the UK. I also know that if there are other options, like IUI as a possibility it might be worth exploring them as the cost is a lot lower. Obviously, if you are told they are not for you then so be it. I think we were kind of diagnosed with unexplained fertility and got our lovely 5 year old DD through IUI on our second attempt. Now we are going for donor eggs as a final attempt and I am a lot older than you but I was 39 when I got pregnant with DD using IUI.

Keep us posted.

DuelingFanjo Thanks for catching us up on your news. I nearly laughed when you mentioned the range bracelet as I was imagining one actually made of orange peel! Eh Deh!

Idreaminchocolate Has a thought of you in that dress swanning around your town, on your rocket, - I hope it becomes a reality but even more so that you can?t wear it for about, oh er, about nine months!

riggly and KiwiKat* I think if your boss was sympathetic and nice it would certainly be easier to tell, and get support etc. I think the reason I never told was because I just did not know what kind of reaction I would get. I also felt that once I had told people it would not be possible to take it back. Also, in a bizarre way if you do get pregnant although it is great news for you and your colleagues (I mean by that my colleagues) would be genuinely happy for me but it throws up lots of what will happen, - how long will someone be on maternity leave, will they come back etc. When my male colleagues have had babies (their dws/dps) we are all happy and they are off for two weeks and then back as normal, but female colleagues usually have a lot longer off and maybe don?t come back. So it is a mixed blessing in a way to colleagues. Maybe I am being cynical. So that is one reason that I didn?t want to tell and also if there is the fact that if a promotion, better job comes up then it is unlikely I would be first pick for it if people knew I was actively trying to get pregers. It would be wrong to discriminate against someone trying to get pregnant but they may still do it even though my colleagues are lovely I guess it is easier not to tell them.

riggly I?m not sure side effects necessarily mean it is working. First time I used Buseraline I had pain in my hands like you might get in menopause, like rheumatism, and it didn?t work! So maybe let?s hope it just works and no side effects!

That should be ORANGE bracelet not RANGE bracelet!

islegrin A consultant is, I assume, a doctor who specialises in a certain subject and you consult them for that particular thing. That?s always been my assumption and they are usually called DR XXX where as surgeons are usually called Mr XX or Miss/Mrs/Ms XXX. If that makes sense. I have heard things about laproscopic surgery that it can be painful but I think if it is necessary to find something out then hopefully it would provide some answers. Hopefully they would only suggest it if they felt it was really necessary.

Amberc Great news on your new healthy regime. Well done. Where does your name come from?

Horton Are you Horton from Horton hatches the egg! Good name, my dd as that book and I loved ?Horton hears a hoo?, saw it as a cartoon when I was quite young.

MM I hope the chicken pox is not major and your dd is OK.

Regarding your clinic - I guess the flexibility (and availability) with appointment times is just down to the number of appointments available, I used to provisionally book an early or late slot before I knew when I needed it, e.g. if I knew a certain day might be problematic. They let me do that and it gave me a degree of flexibility. I know that everyone might want to do that too but it was OK. And some people who work different days or don?t work might not have had the same problems as me. I certainly did not see the same staff each time but over time got to know them all. I think a de-brief at the end is essential and you should ask for that and see what they say. I know what you mean about a clinic being special and of course stick with what you know if you prefer but at the end of the day your choice to try another won?t affect the good work already done by this clinic in helping you to produce your dd or the hospital in doing what they did. Hope that makes sense and good luck with whatever you decide.

Bumpless are you back, any news?????

Hi Fairygodmother1, Rosie, Penguin and Cerubina.

Sorry if I have missed anyone