Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 4 - all welcome

[mummycat1]

Starting new thread with massive congratulations to Nanoo I reckon the old man can wait till he gets home! But of course - it's up to you really xxx

Isle thinking of you [smile), Penguinedreams wishing you well.

Nothing more to say, except Idreaminchocoltae had a mad deli style lunch at home and now feeling the pinch in the jeans department! Did you have snow today? We did.

Enjoy the cold weather, I love it, as long as can stay inside.

Waves, hugs and chocolate polystyrene to all.

Just wanted to add my condolences for you on here Isle and hope you are bearing up after the disappointment. I'm so sorry to hear it didn't go anywhere this time when it all seemed so hopeful for you. Take all the time you need, and actually some time to regroup, rediscover yourselves as a couple and clear your head of IVF sounds like a really good idea after such an intense year. Make sure you get lots of cuddles from your OH and lovely dog. Will look forward to you popping in when you can!

How are you getting on, Penguin? What sorts of plans have you come up with for 2010 - some travel perhaps? Do tell and make us envious. Blimey it seems a long time since we had any sun in this country, must be 18 months at least! I need a shot of vitamin D or something. But I'm back to full strength again after the excitement of last week and finish the dose of antibiotics tomorrow that hopefully should knock any remaining bugs on the head.

Hope everyone is well and enjoying the snow or avoiding the rain as the case may be!

Italian - deli style lunch sounds delicious. I think we'll leave today's food discussion at that....

I'm back on the rescue remedey - don't know what's wrong with me. I need to get a grip or this cycle won't work for me.

Idreaminchocolate hi cycle buddy, what is a ?rescue remedy??

I need your advice, guys....I have decided I'd like to tell dd that we are having treatment. I don't mean about the donor, I would only tell her that if it actually worked. The reason is that I am just very worried she will kick me in the tummy. She is always doing things like that, we do a lot of tomboy fighting and I can't guarantee she will not kick or hit me in the tummy during my two week wait. I know the tummy is very insulated but I am still a little bit worried about it because she is (like Monica Geller from Friends) 'freakishly strong'! It does not hurt when it happens and she is not a little thug but I am just over sensitive about this. I have been saying be careful there might be a baby in there but after four years of telling her there is not a baby in my (large ? possibly due to irritable bowel) tummy it is hard for her to take in that there really might be one in there - unless I tell her why. She can be quite bright for 5 and seems to have worked out it is unlikely there is a baby! I would not normally tell a child and I am not sure how much to tell her but I feel if I don?t and she kicks me after treatment, I will feel bad for me and cross with her. I know someone else mentioned this before but my dd is much older and stronger than the other person?s child and knowing her as I do, I know she is quite spontaneous.

I just posted the same message on feisty and forty thread so if you read both, sorry to bore you!

Thanks,

Morning Italian - Rescue Remedy is a bach flower remedy (complementary therapy) for when you're feeling anxious / down etc. It's quite good.

Sorry I can't offer any advice on your query - I have next to zero experience with children, I'm sure some of the other ladies will be able to help.

Have a lovely day all xx

I have told our three year old that we are going to see a doctor so that Mummy can try to have a baby etc. She seems to get the idea. I don't think it would be a bad idea, especially with a five year old who would have a much more sophisticated understanding of it all.

Italian it was me who mentioned being jumped on by my DS. He is only 20 months though but also very heavy and strong! I can't reason with him at his age but I can't see any reason why you couldn't explain to your 5 year old that you had a 'poorly tummy' becuase the doctor was helping you to make a sister/brother for her. I did say to my Dp that I hoped I wouldn't blame DS if it didn't work out but now I know I was being silly - does go through your head though...

Thanks for the good advice.

I have also looked on the feisty and forty thread where I posed this questions and a couple of people there suggested saying something generally medical instead of saying what it is. I liked that idea from the point of maybe it working! Someone said that your kid loves you the best so thinking about your health is a good idea so I may just concentrate on my health! DD is very keen to have a baby but she is also very keen to have a hamster and she is none too gentle when we are looking after my friend?s hamster!

BUT babybarrister and Horton that?s a good point about telling the child because they are part of the family. I guess I do worry about upsetting her if it does not work but at least it shows her that we are trying! She has asked me to try and have a baby and after the visit of a friend with a baby she asked me to try really hard . Luckily, although I am a sensitive little flower at times I am actually fairly resilient and can brush these things off. I won?t be blaming myself if it does not work and we can?t give her the sibling she wants. We will look into adoption and whatever happens we can always get her that hamster!

Anyway, Amberc, I really did mean what I said about your little one not hurting your embie. I guess I know in my heart that a small foot or hand to the tummy in the middle of ruffle tuffle is unlikely to make any difference to the actual treatment but I just don?t want her being quite so physical! It?s hard when you have a little girl who loves dolls and babies but also likes climbing trees and fighting! At times it is so much fun and we both end up in fits of laughter, but when getting pregnant is so bloomin? difficult you just have to be really careful!

How is everyone else?

Idreaminchocolate, riggly and all cycling at the moment, I hope all is going well. Are you at the next stage yet? I am not yet taking the tablets, our next phase - just injecting at the moment. Getting a bit bored with it now.

whatever happens we can always get her that hamster

Nice to see some positive thinking there but I really hope I don't have to get DD a hamster if our attempts don't work!

Re telling, I have told my daughter that we want to have a baby so that she can have a baby brother or sister (she is very VERY keen) but that we don't seem to be able to manage it on our own so we need a doctor to help us. She thinks this is a fine idea (and wants to be a doctor when she grows up - marvellous and I hope she does it). She has absolutely taken it on board. I bet your DD will get the idea straight away, being that much older.

Hi sleekandcutepuppy, what is it you are injecting at the mo? Things not really doing anything here - I will be starting on microgynon (contraceptive pill) on the first day of my next period, but I'm on day 27 and I haven't even ovulated yet. So I'm a bit fed up of waiting around. I'm currently trying to muster up some positive energy in order to start some positive action so that my cycle is successful. I have to say that this weather is getting me down somewhat. I live in the frozen north and it really is cold and miserable up here - and hauling my ass 20 miles across 2 counties twice a day to work and back wrapped up like an eskimo is quite frankly cheesing me off! Self-indulgent rant over - I resolve to be happier tomorrow

Just been watching "One Born Every Minute" - I think I would have punched that guy who "suggested" that his wife may have a low pain threshold during labour. And, seriously - what was all that about trying the manage the labour and the midwife using management techniques? What a wonker!

Riggly, you've been a bit quiet lately - you okay? Were the biscuits I got in not to your liking? Maybe you'd prefer something less chocolatey? A jammie dodger perhaps?

Hi gals

Penguin and Isle I so wish you'd had better outcomes! I actually thought both of you would... And you're both being so strong and positive about it too. Huge hugs. Nothing very helpful to say apart from knowing what it feels like. Making positive plans for the year is a very good idea - I've actually started doing that with DH too, even though this cycle hasn't failed yet, because this can't go on being the only thing in our life and if it does fail I've pretty much decided that we won't carry on. Isle's bowing out for a while (hope to see you sometime though) - what are your plans Penguin?

I've been away from MN since last week and loads has happened! sorry for long post as I catch up.

Cerubina thank goodness you're OK - must have been terrifying! Amber are you feeling better? Seems like karma should give you a bit of a break once you're actually updiffed and leave you alone rather than visiting all these mystery pains on you.

MM good luck for your scan tomorrow, and hope they can say something about the bleeding.

Italian I like your pressie idea - might do the same! Is your donor not very similar to you then? Yes I've seen DCN, and will prbably join them if we ever do get this show on the road. Don't want our lives to be dominated by the 'donor'ness of our child though, so beyond letting them know early and ensuring it seems normal, I probably won't do loads of the clubs and classes unless DCs want/need to later - I worry it could end up underlining that they're different. Possibly not something to worry much about yet!

Lorelie sounds like you need to change consultants! if he's not making you feel supported he's not the right doc to have on your team when you're going through this. And he should know that!

Kiwi I so hear you! DH did most of my injections but when I had to I had gaping slashes in fingers and thighs (from dropping a needle on my leg) totally cack-handed! To think I used to want to be a doctor.. When's your EC?

PerfectD I think I'm still coming to terms with being infertile, even after almost 3 years and umpteen treatments. Occasionally I just pause in disbelief and think 'how on earth is this happening'. Or get upset - esp, like Duelling when a lucky fertile friend announces their good news. Re TTC comments - I actually stopped going to my scuba club more than a year ago because someone there ALWAYS asked me why I wasn't pregnant yet. Ailz , who used to post on here, suggested laughing and saying 'I'm just rubbish at getting pregnant' which I've used a few times - seems to wake people up to themselves in a gentle, unembarrassing way.

Heading off for scan today to see if my womb lining's responding OK, and flying to Greece on Sat, EC Sun or Mon.

Bumpless - how exciting for you everything is moving forward.

Babybarrister - how sweet of your DS - have you got three DS or do you have a DD?

I dream in chocolate - I watched one born every minute )the last half anyway) and wanted to get into the tv and kill that husband!!!! I made my DP watch it and he was shocked after I had a similar very long and exhausting labour. I would have cut my DPs balls off if he talked to me like that!! Thank God the little one was OK I was worried!

Only got 5 more days until the dreaded test.In a way I would prefer not to know and just wait for a period to arrive ot not. If you are not preggo how long does it take for a period to come?

Amberc - I didn't get my period until I stopped the progesterone, and then it took just over 24 hours from the last dose. So if I'd carried on with the prog, it probably wouldn't have happened for a long time. You have my sympathy though - as you know I rather dreaded testing!

Bumpless, we're taking a couple of months as husband and wife before jumping back on the FET rollercoaster. Got our review end of next month and we'll see after that. I wouldn't mind getting a few tests done privately before we start again, to see if there's any reason why they might not have implanted properly this time. Dr Google has been telling me that immunological issues and anti ovarian antibodies could usefully be checked, which I doubt Guy's will agree to do on the basis of one failed cycle only, but I'd like a little peace of mind myself that it really was just one of those things, rather than a symptoms of an underlying cause, if that makes sense.

I am stepping back for a bit now to lick wounds but masses of luck for this cycle.

Waves to all!

ChocolateDreamer I'm still here and I am partial to a good old jammie dodger thanks! Even though I have officially started my IVF cycle there is nothing to do for the first 21 days in my protocol before I start down-regging so I feel a bit in limbo waiting for something to happen! I'm really busy at work for the next couple of weeks though and we've got visitors at the weekend so that is taking my mind off things a bit (some of the time at least!)

Bumpless - hope your scan went OK and good luck for Greece, all sounds very exciting.

babybarrister DS sounds adorable!

Hope things are going well for everyone else

Evenin' All...

Nice to hear from you riggles - sounds like we're in the same sort of waiting/nothing happening period - at least Italiangreyhound's got her injections to distract her (and if she gets too bored she could always liven things up Kiwi/Bumpless styley and make a slasher home movie!!). I've got my mum's 60th birthday celebrations coming up (which are lasting around about 4 years...) and hopefully a visit from the outlaws, so I should have plenty to keep me busy over the next few weeks. I'm feeling much better today after a few days of feeling sorry for myself.

Penguindreams - glad to hear you're doing okay - hopefully see you back here in a couple of months for your FET cycle (that's if being "husband & wife for a couple of months" doesn't get you up the duff first ).

Bumpless - hope your visit to Greece goes well. Good Luck!!!

Riggly,would you mind passing the over to Amberc - sounds like she could do with biscuit shaped distractions to get her through the next 5 days. Amberc - fingers crossed for you!!

Evening all - sounds like there's a lot going on right now. Bumpless, EC for us is Wed 3rd March - am trying not to think too much about it. Good luck for this weekend.

Hi waves to all

How is everyone?

Horton Hi, I quite like the idea of a hamster; I grew up with Tales along the Riverbank so that is something nice to think of (I had two hamsters when I was a kid too). However, when we had a mouse in the house, uninvited, dh was calm (as had never seen it - they are nocturnal and so am I) but I was freaking out . DH asks - How are hamsters different from mice? Not sure, just are!!

Bumpless Re our new donor ? for ethnicity/skin colour and CMV status our new donor is the same as me, and her height is similar. Her hair is not exactly like mine but not totally different. Her blood group is different and her eye colour is different. At first these difference bothered me (the donor we were matched with before was almost 100% like me in terms of above plus blood group was the same, eye colour the same, height closer to mine and hair colour almost the same). However, now, I just feel that I am happy with the donor and the small differences do not bother me.

It doesn't matter to me if the child (if we are lucky enough to have one) will look anything like me. I think the child will possibly look a bit like Dh and whatever does not look like him is fine. It is not really important at all for things like hair colour.

I think Donor Conception Network could be useful for us if we are successful in that there will be people who are in a similar situation and that can be helpful but I doubt it will be a big part of life for us. I guess with these things you can be as involved as you like.

Bumpless Hope scan today for womb lining is good. Can't believe you are flying to Greece on Sat ? how exciting - and EC Sunday or Monday, how great, all the very best for that.

KiwiKat Good luck with the 3rd March. Exciting, it's wonderful.

I just worked out that our timing is quite funny really. The last lot of cancelled treatment was due just before Christmas, this is due just before Easter and if it is successful, we would have a baby due just before Christmas! Let?s hope that is a good sign, I?m a Christian but I am not purposely following the Christian festivals!!

Hi Idreaminchocolate I thought you needed your own post as what I am chatting about now will take up several lines!!

Although, of course, anyone else can read if they watched One born every minute or even if they didn?t!

You asked what we are injecting....we are injecting Buserelin. When we need to build up the lining we will take small blue pills called something like Progenova. Once we get to egg collection we will start with those fab pesseries!

Sorry about the weather up north, it's pretty bleak here as well! Sounds like you have a terrible journey to work, either unemployment is high where you are or you do something very specialist, like rocket scientist! OR you aren't changing due to treatment or....?? Don't say if you don't want to.

Think I must stop watching 'One born every minute' as just pisses me off! I hate people talking about C-section like it is not real birth! Hate the idea that a 'natural' birth is a badge of honour! No offence to anyone who has had a great birth experience and well done to them but to be honest I do not feel the need to glory in my excellent eyesight or make my specky hubby feel bad about not having 'naturally' good eyesight.

I also wonder about the man with level 5 management!! I would definitely have asked that ignorant husband to have left the room by the point at which he said he was no use, second that. I actually wonder if this programme is a documentary meant to put teenagers off having babies! I think when the husband said I'll let you know when you are having a contraction, I would have hit him! But then when things looked bad at the end he looked like a rabbit in the headlights and I just felt sorry for him! OK rant over! I'm glad I read your post before I watched it or I would have been freaking out that the baby was not OK! I must stop watching it, but I know I won't!

Oh dear babybarrister your ds wants a baby brother only! My sis's little one only wanted a brother and got it but I am sure it would have worked out OK if not a boy.

Amberc Good luck for five days time.

Isle are you still around?

Penguin Good luck with the review.

What about Beagle and others?

Off to bed soon

Hello all! Back from my overseas adventures -and thankfully it was sunny and 23 there, which was bliss.

Unfortunately, my return to London has been less happy. Had my 6wk pregnancy scan today - which I have been particularly anxious about because of the spotting. Scan found one fetal sac but no heartbeat. The consultant said this could be because its still too early to detect or it could be a "missed miscarriage" (whatever that means). We now have to wait another week for another scan - if there is still no heartbeat then it will be considered a miscarriage.

I'd finally managed to put some of the anxieties behind me and begin to accept that I was truly pregnant while I was away, so this news has hit me (and the DH) pretty hard. The consultant told me to "think positive" and "don't expect the worst" but I think I've already started to give up hope.

Waves to everyone - and someone please pass the chocolate biscuits!

MercenaryMom am so sorry to hear this news. I have been in a similar situation and I know that the wait for another scan is heartbreaking. I do hope that the next scan brings positive news.

thinking of you.

Hello to everyone else. Sorry if I have missed a whole load of stuff. Will read back a bit.
x

Hugs to you MM and I really hope that is just unduly negative by the consultant. Were you actually at 6 weeks or is it possible you were a few days early? I had a scan last week at 5+4 and there was a yolk sac with no heartbeat, and that was absolutely what they expected to see (they said). I am due to have another one tomorrow (6+6) and there should be one by now.

It will be hard not to worry in the meantime, especially given the spotting you've had, but please take heart that there is still a chance that the heartbeat will show up next week.

Fingers crossed all turns out well for you.

MM take heart this may not be as bad as it seems, it may all work out fine. Maybe you can try and be in neutral for a week, not getting your hopes up too much, not dashing them too much. Try and just have a wait and see attitude, I know, almost impossible, but let?s hope you can do it. Maybe it could go either way; by being as neutral as possible you will be saving yourself some heartache but also giving it a chance to still be real for you until you know for definite. I think this is the kind of attitude I have to the fertility treatment, I really want it to work but if it does not I will try and accept it. Choccy biscuits until you feel better and know some more .