Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 4 - all welcome

[mummycat1]

Starting new thread with massive congratulations to Nanoo I reckon the old man can wait till he gets home! But of course - it's up to you really xxx

Waves to all I missed.

PerfectDromedary If you are fit and healthy I would just sit it out and take your mind off it all. If you are overweight, not fit, I would use time to get in shape. But do enjoy some booze as you will be off it if pregnant, and while having treatment at least. I would enjoy everything, have fun, laugh, just think of those corny films where couples fall in love doing fun stuff and try and do that with DH. Whatever happens, enjoy this time, it is not sad it is happy it is the preamble to hopeful conception! All the best.

Idreaminchocolate - Yes, one born every minute, the men seem either to be mute or have nothing useful to say. I am assuming they are in shock and not totally useless but when the twenty-something dad did not go in to surgery to see the C-section I felt really sad, to miss baby birth because of being unable to go in. You don?t see any blood etc anyway, I had C section and hubby was there. I just felt that it was all a bit against the poor mum, someone actually said something like it is harder to see someone in labour than to be in labour! To which I would like to shout BLLSHT but don?t let that put you or anyone off because it is all actually really great, in a painful way, but just want to give credit where it is due!

babybarrister I am sure it will start soon. If I were you I would ask what the delay is, always be polite - I am sure you always are - but keep asking questions, sooner or later someone will want to shut you up with an actual answer, I think if you don't chase you don't get quick service - which is fine if you are window shopping in a clothes shop but harder when it is something important - just my advice!

Hi Amber (hope the pain stops soon), hi Fairygodmother1 and anyone else I have missed.

Hugs and chocolate polystyrene to all.

Isle, you would get many many chocolate martinis if you are right, but you're not, so ner . You can just keeping testing until you get that damn BFP missie!

Loved the patch story, btw! People probably just think you're trying to wean yourself off a 60 a day nicotine habit!

Lorelei, hope all goes well. I was told they can grow 2mm after the trigger shot, and anything over 14mm could potentially have a mature egg in it. Plus, it is possible they mis-measured, especially if your bloods were showing a different level.

Idreaminstroppyknickers (that sounds filthy!) - good luck with the fitness regime! Hope your H is being sympathetic to the stroppiness!

Cerubina, how are you feeling today?

We had a nice night last night with champagne to say goodbye to our embryos and toast the popsicles. Obviously v sad but trying to look forward. After struggling to look for the silver lining, I decided that it is good thing (work with me here) - my H had real ethical issues with the whole thing and was horrified at the idea of discarding an embryo. So now we get to use the popsicles rather than have to face discarding them, and so obviously that's clearly better than actually being pregnant (hmm, haven't quite persuaded myself!).

I have missed out loads of you but H pushing to use the computer so waves to everyone and goes off to forage for wine and soft cheese!

Hi all,

Well on the way towards IVF - all tests back to cons so he can refer me to another unit! got af today so feeling pretty sorry for myself & proved that clomid didn't work for me. Maybe well get a natural on in the next few months - stranger things have happened...

how's everyone's sat night?

xxx

Hi

Fairygodmother1 babysitting this Saturday night - no I am not 15!

Idreamofchocolate Had a terrible day food wise, some sort of crisp-like snack, chocolate orange and scones plus hubby made yummy shepherds pie and I ate lots . My sleek greyhound coat will be bulging!

I love the Italian greyhounds now, I want one, you shouldn't have sent me that picture I was happy with a hamster before! DH knows if we get a dog he would be walking it and picking up the poo! Sad thing is he is great with pets, better than he is with people sometimes, he loves exercise and he would be fab on all counts - except the poo!

OOOHHH just realised that I am baby sitting until 11.30 and injection was due at 10.45! Oh well, will have to run in and drop my drawers tonight! Not the first time.

Penguindreams glad you had a meal out and remembered the embryos and popsicles.

I think I will give mine names if we get as far as that. Just jokey little unisex names! We have never got that far before with any cycle except the one that worked, as far as I know. By that I mean IVF attempts abandoned due to no eggs and IUI you only see a follicle, you never know if an embryo is made. My best guess is that we never got as far as an embryo that didn't make it and even if we did then it is not the same as seeing it in a petri dish, it is just like a regular period cycle. If you know what I mean.

Penguindreams So sorry it did not work but glad you are finding a silver lining and using your popsicles. I agree with your dh, about giving them a go.

I started thinking about children again today and I realised that although I'd like one or two more, I think I realise now that one is really the best option. We would still put two embryos in. But maybe we could cope with one the best, but if we ended up with twins or one and frozen embryo which turned into another that would be fine. I feel quite old be to exploring this again, now 45! No, 45 is NOT old, I just mean I feel old! I got a lovely compliment that some one thought it was a joke my being 45!

I just need to keep fit now to get the body to match the face!

Lorelei how are you feeling?

Kiwikat how's it going? How is work?

riggly where are you now, still down-regging?

Cerubina are you OK now?

MercinaryMom I like the idea of your being Angelina, I do like her, I know she is probably a bit strange but she seems to really care about human rights etc and does lots for charity, plus she is a great actress.

Hopeful45 are you still around?

All the best to all, Isle thinking of you

Waves to all I have missed.

going to have a self-indulget moan.

Yet another friend has announced a pregnancy and it hurts even more because at a wedding last year her DP joked with me and my DH that he and she were in direct competition with us to get one out first. He wasn't aware of our difficulties back then and I wasn't aware at the time that I was actually pregnant, though I miscarried later.

I feel really crap when I know I should be trying to be positive in the run up to IVF but it all feels so unfair. Had I stayed pregnant I would have a 1 month old baby now! I just have a terrible feeling that everyone and his wife is going to get pregnant and I won't.

Grrrrr.

must pull myself together.

Thank you everyone for the kind advice. Am just quite upset about it all really as we have been ttc for 3 years now and I knew this was my last go of the gonal f and trigger so was trying to give it my all this month. At my hospital it is about a 14 month waiting list for IVF and I don't know how much strength I have left- it is all just so exhausting.
Well I took the trigger shot as they said to and will just wait to speak to my consultant tomorrow but I don't think he will be sympathetic- he is often quite abupt. For example at my last review meeting with him I asked about having other investigations as I have only been diagnosed with pcos and my bloods were last done 2 years ago at the start of medical treatment. I also asked to be put on metformin to see if this would help with my pcos (as I had read positive stuff about it on MN.) He accused me of suggesting that he was withholding medical treatment and while I appreciate that he is a very intelligent and well experienced doctor I just felt fobbed off which I am scared will happen when I try to talk to him tomorrow. Anyway I guess the upside is I will not have a hopeful 2ww as I usually have and then come crashing down as I am pretty convinced my follicles were too small.
Thanks again for all the support and advice.
MN really is a lovely place!

Awww Duelingfanjo - really feeling for you. That's a really crappy thing to happen to you at the moment. I hope you've let yourself have a really big cry and let it all out, because otherwise you'll just end up with a big headache and all the (justified) negativity staying inside. Once you've finished bawling your eyes out get DH to make you a nice cup of tea. If he won't I will!!

MercenaryMom - I've decided I want a baby-substitute Italian Greyhound (did you see the pic I posted?). But DH says I'm not allowed one [pout]. Requests for one of these have also been rejected

Italiangreyhound I hope your DH has read your grooming instructions : The Italian Greyhound has a short, fine coat that is like satin to the touch. She just needs an occasional rub down with a soft cloth. When she needs a rare bath, be sure that she is dried properly and kept warm.

BIG curry meal for DH's birthday last night. Must do better. Thing is, once I really concentrate, I can lose weight quite easily. I self-sabotage. It's good to have a non-judgemental buddy to talk to about this as well. All my friends are dead skinny and don't understand why, if I I want to lose weight, I don't just east less. Er, because I have an eating disorder. I used to be bulimic, and once I'd got myself to stop throwing up 3 times a day I piled on 6 stone. I have now permenantly lost about 1 of those stones and weigh just under 12 stone now (which is a bit much for my petite frame). I have been given a dietician at the ACU and she said that, considering, I actually do quite well with my eating these days and that I'm not hugely overweight and she wouldn't have a problem with my weight if i wasn't trying to concieve. But anyway, I am, so sub-30 BMI here we come! LOL at you dropping your drawers, BTW!!

Penguin I like the filthy name - sounds a bit edgier than the cutesy Idreaminchocolate - I like the more Angelina/MercenaryMom image of me!! How are you doing now? I get varying degrees of sympathy from DH re: stroppiness. Poor thing is under a HUGE amount of pressure at work at the moment and also is reponsible for building renovating our house. I'm more than happy to pull my (not inconsiderable...) weight in renovating the house, but I just can't do what needs to be done at the moment to get us to the next stage when I can get my paint roller out!! OTW, though, he is a bit of a sweetie-pie and pretty good with the whole 'cup of tea making' malarkey. In fact, I'm thing of sending him round to Duelingfanjo's to make one for her - I think he's got a couple of dark chocolate digestives going spare as well!

Fairygodmother1, sorry to hear about your AF. Why don't you come in, pop yer slippers on and get comfy? I think Italiangreyhound has had the last of the choclate polystyrene, but there's still a few of MercenaryMom's chocolates hanging about. I'll get DH to make you a cuppa while he's got the kettle on for mine and DF's. Islegrin* - what news from the island of Hawaii? Bet you didn't wake up to several inches of snow this morning!

Happy snowday sunday to everyone!! xx

Hey, choccielady. Am also in need of losing a few pounds, so am happy to cheerlead for you if necessary. Am comfort-eating this week to deal with news, which I know is stupid, but can't be arsed to analyse it.

DuelingFanjo You're allowed self-indulgent rants. It sucks.

How did you lot deal with your diagnosis? Am currently swinging from hugely positive to floods of tears, sometimes in the same sentence!

Dueling know how you feel. It's horrible when close friends announce pg as you're full of mixed emotions. As far as i know we haven't had any stick yet (not as fat as IVF yet) but we started trying when my eldest nephew was 5 months old - he's now running round, talking, singing, being generally cheeky & I thought he'd have a little cousin just a year younger than him to play with! That was 27 moths ago. My best friend has managed to have 2 in that time (one was stillborn sadly)!!!

thanks for the welcome IDIChoc I'm cosying up on the sofa with my hotwater bottle & comfy slippers - ready to join you girls on our journey.

No snow here - just rainy & miserable.

xxx

PerfectPomPoms - comfort eat away (how do you think I got in the situation where I need to lose 2 and a half stone?). I know exactly how you feel - last Monday I was so upset about my treatment being delayed for 3 weeks I drunk 1/2 bottle of wine and ate 1/2 tub pralines & cream. I suppose that also answers your question of how I dealt with my/our diagnosis. Even now, nearly a year later, I'm all over the place - yesterday I was driving to my mums and just thinking about things and was in tears. Today, after a bout of cleaning, I'm super positive again. Absolutely nuts!

Snowing like mad again here.

Off to do the bathroom......

Well get your money out lasses - I believe I'm due several chocolate martinis! Negative 5 of 5 tests on 14DPO. I'm out.

Best of luck to everyone, I hope you get some answers and your BFP very soon.

If anyone is interested in staying in touch via facebuchenwald or email, please drop me a line.

love love from the sunny pacific,
isle

DuellingFanjo I completely sympathize, I was the first person for ages to get married at work and 5 people have married since. 2 babies and 3 current pregnancies later the talk is constantly about babies and I just get people asking me 'when are you going to get pregnant', 'you got married 3 yrs ago shouldn't you have kids by now' or 'its your turn next' (they don't know we've been ttc 2 and 1/2 yrs). As if it is that easy. Some people are so insensitive. End of rant! Sorry, this probably doesn't make you feel any better, maybe a glass or few of wine while you still can will help

Isle So, so sorry. Be kind to yourself.

Here you go Islegrin. So sorry to hear your news. Big hugs xOxOxOxOx

Hi all Islegrin so sorry that it is a negative for you . Please be kind to yourself, get lots of hugs from DH. Are you going to try again? How can you be found on facebook? I hate facebook but it would be worth it to hear some positive news from you one day, or will you be back on this mumsnet interweb thingy again soon?

DuelingFanjo and riggly I know how you feel, I was very jealous of a friend who got married at same time as me (well about 6 months earlier) and was pregnant before me, she told me at dinner so had to sit through whole dinner before could burst into tears on way home! I was fortunate to get pregnant and when I visited her in hospital and held her baby I was pregnant (IUI) but I did not realise it and nearly didn?t go to hospital as was so upset. Also when my dd was young I was quite keen to get number two in as fast as I could and I got pregnant and was the first out of our 'gang' of mums to be pregnant with number two. Then I lost it almost immediately and found out someone else was pregnant and was due same time (roughly) as me. Then others from group all went on to have another while I tried. I felt jealous lots and I do still feel it at times. Anyway, all I am saying is it pretty normal.

DuelingFanjo It was a very insensitive thing to say at the wedding (your friend's DP) and I can only guess that had they known the situation after that they would be mortified so please try not to take it personally. People do sometimes say silly things. I have a big tummy due to irritable bowel (I think) or too many donuts! Anyway, I am always being asked if pregnant and have had someone pat my tummy and ask if there was anyone in there! People can be pretty insensitive at times!

Lorelei1997 Thinking of you for tomorrow, please do try and stay positive for this attempt but do keep a note of anything you think is significant. I would definitely talk to doctor about this and if it does fail and you do not get anywhere with this consultant I would try and speak to someone else. I know it is exhausting and you should not have to go through this hassle as well as IVF, and if it works you will not have to! For your own sake (and for others who may have this blustery unhelpful consultant) I think it is worth asking questions if it does not work. I would say from his reaction (saying you think he is withholding medical treatment etc ) that he is too concerned about his own reputation and what you think of him than for your treatment. It is normal now for patients to look on internet etc and get informed on the treatment, doctors should not be threatened by this, they may know better (let's hope they do!) but it is still your treatment. But, let's hope you don?t need to get all cross and let's hope it works.

Idreaminchocolate Thanks, yes I saw the Italian Greyhound pictures and they were so cute, I think one of the dogs I would love, it says they are sensitive and intelligent - just like me!! I also like the blue cats, there is just something about cats I am not so fond of, not sure what it is. Will tell DH to give me a good rub down now and again, when I have got the energy. I did drop my jeans as I rushed in late last night, sad it was for nothing more exciting than an injection. I did better today on eating healthily. I like Weight Watchers and Keep fit, but I am just a person who likes to eat a lot. I think there may be reasons to it all and I used to be a lot worse, used to eat a lot at night. Sorry to hear about the Bulimia, have you gotten some help for that? I mean help that is really helpful, with why it is you were doing it? I had some counselling about 14 months ago (due to fertility issues) but it uncovered some things about my eating and that it what stopped me eating at night, so was really helpful. Please can you come and clean my bathroom it looks like Agi and Kim need to visit!

PerfectDromedary Diagnosis of fertility problems, I think I just accepted it. I mean I could not change it, perhaps it got revealed slowly and they were never able to pinpoint any thing. Although, of course, now my age is against me and DH?s sperm is not as lively as once was - but in the early days they just seemed to say it was not really pin-down-able on anything. I think one tube may be blocked but not conclusive. Anyway, you can deal with it in a number of ways but I think my way was to find out all I could and to push for whatever treatment was feasible, do-able. I just felt I wanted this and would push for it, which meant persuading DH when he was not enthusiastic etc.

Waves to all

Islegrin

Dueling - that 'punched in the gut feeling' when a friend announces their pregnancy is horrible, and then you feel crap, because you want to feel happy for them, not jealous. We've all been there, it's horrible to feel that way, but completely normal.

Off tomorrow morning for the first scan since I started Menopur. Getting pretty good at this whole injection thing, although I've stabbed myself in the hands and fingers a number of times - blood everywhere - you should all be very thankful I'm not a surgeon!

Let's all have a great (hopefully snow-free) week this week.

DuelingFanjo and riggly PS correction, I did not get pregnant when I visited friend in hospital and held her baby! I was pregnant, I just didn't know it! I nearly didn;t go to the maternity hopsital to see her was was so upset. Sorry that story was a bit mixed up, I meant to say I know how you feel!

Sorry for long previous post!

Oh crap Isle, that sucks big time. Bugger, was so hoping the folic acid etc and that recent procedure would have done the trick. Arse.

What's your email address?? MN doesn't seem to have a PM system, or maybe it does and I don't understand it.

DuellingFanjo you're allowed as many slef pitying rants as you like on here - it's one of the rules of the club!

KK - I am v thankful indeed that your big work thing on 16th March is nothing to do with cutting other people open! How on earth do you manage to stab your own hand?!!

IG - my 'best' TTC moment was my H's ex wife (they are still friendly) patting my stomach and saying 'is there a mini Penguin in there?' She'd just had her 2nd (not with him!) and we'd just been referred for IVF. I told my H if she did that again she'd lose that hand!

Idream, I used to be bulimic when I was younger too. Have spent quite a lot of time over the last 2 1/2 years wondering if any of these problems link back to that. I'm a perfectly healthy size 10 now but I do wonder if I threw something invisible out of balance by being so daft. Just keep on eating healthily (and perhaps a little bit less) and exercise a bit more and it's got to help the TTC - if nothing else making you feel more in control.

Your house renovations sound marvellous! We sat down and made a big list yesterday of all the things that need doing around the house - now if only we could actually do any of them!

Best of luck to everyone waiting for treatment

Just click on "contact poster" on the right side of the blue bar above this post, that should send me an email. Then you can either send me your contact name and I can look you up on FB or you can send me your email address and I'll send you my name so you can look me up on FB. clear? muddy? yeah, welcome to my life!

islegrin - I'm so sorry. I hope you get the chance to try again.

Lorrelei - I changed consultants halfway through this IVF cycle - if your gut feeling says things aren't right they probably aren't and you should think about changing.

I am now on the 1ww.

I also need to lose weight. I am still 13 st which is what I was after I had my DS. Not lost a pound! I have suffered from an massively underactive thyroid for 18 months though which is still not sorted but I have also made no effort . If this IVF cycle doesn't work out I am making a concerted effort before the next (we can only afford two goes privately)

islegrin am so sorry to hear about the BFN. I hope you and your DH take some time for a bit of TLC and then come back with more hope for future attempts.

Idreaminchocolate thank you for the sympathy and the tea, make it a nettle one! I feel bad for being self-indulgent when penguin and isle are experiencing all this stuff.

riggly if it were me I would just be telling people 'it's not that easy for some', the longer this goes on the more blunt I am to people about my fertility 'issues'.

KiwiKat glat the injections are going ok. I have to go in on 9th March to be taught what to do.

Italiangreyhound you made me chuckle.

Hi to everyone else

A quick hello during lunch break - scan was fine, and they taught me how to do the Citrotide injection in my tummy. She said that it was good that I had a bit of fat there (think she was trying to be kind ) as that's best for the needle, which has to be on a 45 degree angle. I wasn't anywhere near as freaked out by this visit, as I now know those little needles don't actually hurt much, so didn't get a chance to work myself up.

Yes, I ask myself the same question about jabbing the needles (the big, draw-up ones) into my fingers - HOW?! But they bleed and bleed and REALLY hurt! Ironic that the ones you do into your leg don't really at all. Dueling, after hearing me go on about it, you'll be a pro, telling THEM how you do it (or don't, in my case) at your appt.

Penguin, Italian, Islegrin and all of you other lovely ladies, sending you calorie-free chocolatey kisses! Back to the grindstone ...

Thanks to all of you ladies, I really do appreciate all of the chocolate martinis and well wishes. We're just going to take a break for a little while and relax, then we'll decide what the next step is.

I wish you all find answers and get your BFP very soon!!! I'll stop by occasionally to see how you are all doing.

Definitely take some time and see how you feel. Hope you can relax together and enjoy being husband and wife again - lots of sex, sharing wine, eating out without babysitters, travelling (come to London ), not spending a fortune on medical treatment - sound good?!

We spent the w/e talking about all the fab things we're going to do this year that don't involve epidurals and projectile vomiting and there are silver linings to all this!

And not doing the false hope thing, but... if the blood test... maybe ... well - just let us know!

Take care and don't be a stranger!

Sorry to hear about the BFN, islegrin. Very best wishes and hope to see you soon.