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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 4 - all welcome

1000 replies

mummycat1 · 28/10/2009 19:39

Starting new thread with massive congratulations to Nanoo I reckon the old man can wait till he gets home! But of course - it's up to you really xxx

OP posts:
Ailz · 11/01/2010 10:27

sorry my messages are so long, that i how i write, cant censor myself! just going through everyones messages slowly and thinking.
Italiangreyhound hope clinic is open this week. where in Britain is clinic? we seem to be melting a little in South east, but some roads still bad, paths are treacherous. no snowing though. dont know how i stayed standing this morning. dd slipped 4 times and i had to catch her. Af may explain the weeping, but hope you are feeling better, have a cake.
THanks Londonlottie. yes we are tentatively delighted even though we are 16 weeks now. I must admit i thought same thing about at least one will make it. shocking. i put it down to the bloody hormones. they are absolutely crazy things. oh my god tears came to my eyes when i read about one sucking the other's thumb! i dont know how you didnt combust! now i am actually crying. that is the cutest thing i ever heard. ever.
congrats again, brilliant news. good for you on the help situation, so many people dont feel worthy of help, like they should do everything themselves. i got a cleaner when i was trying and she is a god send. you need a break, even if it involves having a coffee and staring at the curtains. it is probably best to just leave the room when dh holds girls, let hime do it badly to learn. it is hard, especially when it took so long to have them. good luck with it all. keep us updated.

londonlottie · 11/01/2010 10:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

breagha · 11/01/2010 15:54

Has anyone else found that Clomid has stopped working well after several months? After PCOS diagnosis via laparoscopy, I started on 50mg Clomid. I didn't ovulate the first 2 months despite having follicles of the correct size. Month 3 I started HCG injection following scans to determine the right time.

This ticked along for a month or two but the past 2 months there has been hardly any development and I'm losing heart. I'm giving up my stressful job to relax more and although my bmi is at the bottom end of ok, I'm trying to gain weight to see if that helps.

The added complication is I'm moving from Wales to Glasgow, no reciprocal agreement between Wales and Scotland so I'm going to be down the bottom of the waiting list again, nightmare!

schneebly · 11/01/2010 19:03

bumping for a friend

Italiangreyhound · 11/01/2010 21:47

Hi all

I second that comment, Ailz, about not telling everyone. I have always been really up front with everyone and told everyone and it doesn?t always help! . People can end up asking how it is going, not always easy or convenient to reply! So I agree to just tell a few people.

Sorry to hear about your fall downstairs, hope you are taking it easy now in the snow.

Yes, clinic is open this week. Looking forward to hearing some news! , don?t think I can risk three grins!

The clinic is in Midlands but we don?t live exactly close to it. We chose it because it was a good one and some clinics do not allow you to have donor eggs if you already have a child. Our dd conceived with IUI, so my eggs and so no chance of any frozen cycles. When started trying for number two there were several occasions with no eggs and even when there were - didn?t work. So I needed a clinic which would allow me to go on the waiting list even though I had a child already. Our clinic is one of the Care ones and has been very good.

Londonlottie I love the new photo but the secret whispering is still my fav, I like the green and yellow one too (blankets not babies) very Anne Geddes! Hope it is all going well now, or getting a bit closer. Get help when you can, take time for yourself, it is hard but not impossible. My friend who has twins got a cleaner when the babes were tiny. Just don?t clean up before they arrive!

Breagha I had Clomid for 8 cycles, originally for 6 and then had two more. My doctor was quite strict about how long could have it for. I understand there is a minuscule increased risk of ovarian cancer if you take it for over a year, which is why it is probably not prescribed for very long. This is only for people taking it for a long time! Don?t worry. The other thing my doc said was (I think) it may thin the sticky egg whites that normally help the sperm swim up to the egg. So it may be that it is not something you can take for a long time anyway. I am sure your doctor can tell you all about this, I just wanted to mention it as these were things I was told about Clomid which I didn?t know before I started. One friend got preg after she stopped having Clomid. Really hope it works for you. [grins]

sanfan · 11/01/2010 22:00

Can anybody help??? I have had no periods for 6 months and have been ttc. Went to see NHS doctor who said come back in 6 months but at 36yrs was worried about too much time passing. Have read all about clomid and it sounds like that is just what I need to get things kick started and have made a app with BUPA doctor to see whether private is quicker. Has anybody else had this problem and got it sorted out quicker privatly. I already have 1 child and had no problem conceiving so hope private doctor might be able to do something.

RosieBeagle · 12/01/2010 17:42

Hi Ailz totally agree about not telling the world about IVF DH didnt want to tell anyone but ended up telling my close family and his and my best friend and boss from work and thats too many! As you say they keep asking for well meaning updates but i end up repeating myself all the time and im boring myself with it! think they are only asking to be polite as nothing seems to sink in - then again why should it its me thats totally obsessed with all the damn details!
Anyway my news is had my scan today - all good so on to menopur (hope we understood the lesson correctly) seems very complicated this next lot of jabs but sure we will get used to it after a few goes so all being well could be scheduled in for egg collection w/c 25th Jan all getting a bit real now lol!
hope everyone else is doing ok

LeviStubbsTears · 12/01/2010 19:50

Hi all,

I'm new on here, though have posted to a couple of other threads (including a 'lose weight' one now that the New Year is here and I'm still finishing up Christmas chocolate...). I'm 37, and my DH and I have been TTC for about four and a half years, without success. We've had all the tests and are in the 'inexplicable' category - his sperm count was a little low, but nothing catastrophic - so we're now scheduled to have IVF in the spring, on the NHS, as we very luckily fit their criteria. I'm quite scared, not just about the treatment but - weird as it may sound - what happens if it works, as DH is very lukewarm-to-reluctant about kids (though obviously co-operating). I am quite keen in one sense, but also quite nervous about the life change, and particularly am scared about it changing our relationship. On the other hand, my DH is brilliant with kids and I think will get on board if and when we have one - he's not one to moan or be resentful, thankfully, and I think he'll be quite excited (if it does ever happen). I'm also scared about getting much more desperate to have kids than I am now through going through the process too, and then it not working out - but that's just the risk one takes, I guess. I know I'm lucky we have this chance.

Anyway, I didn't mean to go into all that, but just to make contact and say that it's been really helpful to read all your comments, and hear your stories, good and bad - I'm someone that likes to be as prepared as possible, and to fear the worst in some ways, so that if something does work out, I'm pleasantly surprised, but am also ready for it not to. (Don't know if that's a good or bad psychology to have!) We'll see, I guess. Hope you're all doing ok today.

Italiangreyhound · 12/01/2010 20:41

Hi LeviStubbsTears welcome.

I think know how you feel about trying for a while. We have a DD and have been trying ttc number 2 for almost 4 and a half years. We are about to have IVF with donor eggs, hopefully.

Had IUI for DD. My DH was not overly keen about it all, but supportive and is now a wonderful, great dad. Don't worry about making yourself feel more desperate. Personally, I think the hardest bit is not doing anything. So if you are trying there is some hope. [grins]

RosieBeagle good luck on the menopur, I got preg on that before with my DD. Really hope it works for you.

Hi sanfan I just got my first proper period in almost 6 months, but then I am almost mid forties! If I were you I would go back to GP, explain again you are TTC and 6 months is a long time to wait. If you can afford to go private, I would be tempted to but don't think you should have to! By the time you see the GP it will probably be 7 months and that is almost as long as it takes to grow a baby! If there is more than one doc, try the other and just be really clear you are concerned about it and want to find out what the trouble is. It might be quite easily fixable. Good luck. [grins]

Italiangreyhound · 12/01/2010 20:44

My [grins] are meant to be !!

luckywebby · 12/01/2010 21:26

Hi all

well all tests are done now. Not good news on either side, DH SA showed no sperm again, therefore sperm aspiration is the only way forward for us as he does not want to go down the donation route.
My scan showed the possibility of a cyst on one of my ovary's but they can not be sure so have booked me in for another scan in six weeks time.
On the up side we finally have an appointment at the clinic in Plymouth. Its on the 22 January so a lot sooner than we expected. So some positive news.
Hope everyone else is keeping well.
x

Ailz · 12/01/2010 22:42

Hi all
Breagha can i ask a few questions? i havent read everyone else's comments so i may be repeating them. are you being monitored at a clinic? has gynae considered upping the dose? are you being scanned? i believe 50mg is lowest dose and does not work for a lot of women who are not ovulating. i was on clomid myself, it was my first step on fertility ladder, like most people. i ovulated and often produced two big eggs, but never became pregnant. it is hailed as a miracle and gives people false hope sometimes. i believe it really depends on the clinic that you are attending. do they have a good reputation?
Londonlottie i will go straight away and look at that pic! i have same strange and silly concerns about bonding with twins. it is hard to see them as two separate people, when i cant see them! i am thinking i shall have to insist people dont refer to them as 'the twins' when they are born, as it is tempting for people to do. i think it is the practicalities that are stumping me, how do i hold them both, feed them both, cope with two crying babies etc. Lordie.
Italiangreyhound glad clinic open. good to get things going. about the not telling people - i also think that even when you are successful at ivf, when you have told people you almost become the poster-girl for ivf. it will keep coming up in conversations with your name. i have seen this with another person and i thought, god that must be tiresome. people mean well mostly, but until you are in the position, the desperation that only we understand, people cant grasp that we just want to be normal people more than anything else in the world. I had no idea that the clinics were so choosy about who they allowed to go on the list for donor eggs. I found out recently that they were choosy about allowing gay women or single women to use donor eggs, but didnt know those with one child were added to the list. that is tough, but you persevered, as we do! and your story sounds so tough and exhausting, it is testament to how strong you guys must be.
Hi Sanfan I sympathise with your problem. i too have one child and then coudnt seem to have another. i also feel for you starting out on the journey. it can be tough. Going privately is really probably your only route, as your infertility is secondary. however you will need to be referred by your GP, which shouldnt be a problem. you really need to check out the HFEA (have i said that correctly?) website for the highest rated clinics and hospitals in your area. and get an appointment with a Gynae/consultant and get their opinion. dont be afraid to look around, get more than one opinion. expect to pay up to £200 for consultation. they will suggest tests for blockages, blood tests etc. the best of luck with it. if you have any questions about our experiences we would all be glad to help i am sure.
hi Rosiebeagle it is tricky and nerve-wracking to remember all the instructions, i know. we wrote them down and literally stared at them every time we took out a needle. we didnt trust ourselves at all that is great that you have a good idea of egg collection date, fantastic news!
levistubbstears hi and welcome. all your fears are totally normal and we have all had them in different ways and at different times and for different reasons. when ivf worked for me, that was when all hell broke loose for me! hormones, depression, doubts. actually i always had doubts, amazing to admit, i dont know if i have admitted that to any of my family. and i have a dd already, who is perfect, bless her. these feelings are inexplicable, but dont cover them up, think about them, acknowledge them and they should get better. completely normal, dont forget that. it is great news that you have ivf cycle sorted out. i would advise you to get yourself into a good frame of mind before you embark on it, as it can be tricky. i was quite stressed for my first cycle and needless to say it didnt work. i was in a completely different place for the second and it worked. perhaps you could look into reflexology or accupuncture. a lot of clinics do it.
hi luckywebby sorry about the low sperm, it is so hard. there are other options as you know. chin up, deep breath, keep going. that is all you can do. best of luck.

Italiangreyhound · 12/01/2010 23:50

luckywebby Poor dh for the sa , hope they can find some way of getting some. A friend has had some treatment on her hubby to retrieve it somehow, it was in there somewhere. I?m afraid I don?t know much about it. BUT Excellent news for having an appointment, all the best for 22 Jan.

RosieBeagle I am sure you will work out he injections. I remember when we first started you had to mix the power and sterilised water, my dh forgot to add the medication and just injected me with the water! He noticed what he had done and then tried to accidentally do it again! I always got him to do injections if poss, in spite of that one poor performance! I think we ended up setting a watch to buzz when we needed to inject. I now even tick off the calendar each day to remind me to take my folic acid!

Ailz thanks for your kind thoughts about the hassle factor. It isn?t always hard to get on the list, not all clinics have same rules and some people end up on several waiting lists simultaneously (you have to apply and pay each time to go on list).

I know several people with twins but I agree it is best not to refer to the kids as twins to their face etc and to the parents (obliviously need to in this context!) and also I think dressing them differently also helps. People nowadays seem to favour different hair cuts and clothes etc but of course they may end up wanting to dress alike! This is totally not relevant if they are one of each! Do you know the gender? No need to tell if not telling!

Italiangreyhound · 13/01/2010 02:06

Thanks treedelivery I've been writing on the assisted conception thread. We are just waiting to get started. Just out of interest, what prompted you to be a donor? No need to answer if it's too personal.

Italiangreyhound · 13/01/2010 02:11

ooopse, wrong thread! Sorry

Ailz · 13/01/2010 09:45

italiangreyhound that is interesting on the donor list, i am being educated. no we dont know what sex, so far i dont want to know, but if i get too curious we will see!
can anyone tell me whether to watch Slumdog Millionaire on tv tonight? i deliberately did not watch it in cinema because i am very sensitive and easily upset when it comes to children, always have. i dont know if i can handle watching neglected children. is it really that bad, will i recover. it took me two days to get over comic relief about 3 years ago and i cant watch it since. i had to go to bed in floods of tears after watching a clip about children in africa with no parents and no one to look after them. dilemma. i have to watch it some time?

breagha · 13/01/2010 15:49

I'm new to mumsnet. Diagnosed with PCOS in July and started clomid in August. I didn't ovulate the first 2 months and they then realised I needed HCG injection as well. Each month I have several scans to track when I should do the jag.
Clomid doesn't seem to be working so well the last 2 months and I've had to increase dosage significantly. Has anyone else found this?
I've been stabilising blood sugar levels by eating lots of slow release carbs, houmous, ryvitas etc. My bmi is 20 so ok but I'm quite active and fit. Cutting back on fitness and eating more to gain weight to see if that helps.
Just wondered if anyone else has had a similar problem?

Italiangreyhound · 13/01/2010 19:45

Clinic is open so spoke to Co-ordinator, progressing slowly. Feel rather deflated and discouraged at the moment. It's just such a slog!

Ailz Don't watch it if you don't want to. Why not tape it and see how you go.

I can't watch scary or horrible films, I have walked out of the cinema a few times and I hate watching anything about kids being ill treated.

breagha I'm afraid I don't know about this, I need to lose weight and not put it on. If the drugs aren?t working I'd ask the consultant what the next step is.

Hope every one is doing OK.

LeviStubbsTears · 14/01/2010 13:46

Thanks very much, Italiangreyhound (love the name!) and Ailz - it's reassuring to know these are normal thoughts (I sort of know that, but still find it weird that I have such mixed feelings - generally they're positive, but it is just the fact that it's me rather than us (i.e. not DH) and so it feels a bit more daunting). Anyway, am not back properly as have exams and an assessed essay due on Monday (doing an MSc at the moment) so am not really allowing myself on here (it's really working, as you can see!!).

All the very best to all - I am reading you - and back soon properly. x

Italiangreyhound · 15/01/2010 22:20

LeviStubbsTears Good luck with the essay. Are you starting any treatment anytime? I was not sure if you were. How is your hubby about it all. I know how it feels if dh is not very into it. My dh was always quite wary about talking about it too much. I never told him when I was ovulating etc, I think it spoilt the mood when we were trying naturally!

Ailz Did you watch Slumdog Millionaire?

Rosiebeagle How?s it going?

Luckywebby Good luck for the 22nd

All the best to all

flibbertywidget · 15/01/2010 23:56

Hi ladies
Just doing my normal late night checking in to see how everyone is doing
ailz - fab news for your BFP - completely understand why you were so worried. Great news on the twins.

caitni not long now. can't wait to hear your BA

ll - ahhh the man wobbles. Gotta love them, mine still has them and is pretty useless, coupled with the fact that I take over everything, being a complete control freak. However, they do need a good kick up rear periodically. Such flipping precious souls they are.

Italiangrehound - I did IVF in Ireland using a clinic in Ukraine via a program they run, the clinic is SIMS (www.sims.ie) had two IVF's both successful. Donor is anonymous

right gotta go and sort out teething baby!

hugs and love

Italiangreyhound · 16/01/2010 00:15

flibbertywidget Thanks for the encouragement, that is really encouraging that you had two lots of treatment and get pregnant twice. I am kind of worrying that after all this wait (about a year on the list now) that it will not work. I will just have to wait and see!

Enjoy your teething times!

Italiangreyhound · 16/01/2010 00:50

Ailz How about watching Slumdog Secret Millionaire on channel 4 on Sunday, sounds like it would be quite uplifting.

DuelingFanjo · 16/01/2010 01:00

Hi there. I am hoping that I will be joining this group soon as I have just won an appeal for funding for IVF. We think we will start in April.

londonlottie can I say massive massive congratulations on the birth of your twins. I remember you from the January ante-natal thread (I think?) when I was pregnant (sadly miscarried) and you had just discovered you were having twins. It is so lovely to hear that you had your twins and I hope you are recovering ok from the CS.

Italiangreyhound · 16/01/2010 01:33

DuelingFanjo well done for winning your appeal. Hope it will all go well. I think we are schduled for March or April.

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