Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 4 - all welcome

[mummycat1]

Starting new thread with massive congratulations to Nanoo I reckon the old man can wait till he gets home! But of course - it's up to you really xxx

Hi again penguindreams. Were at the Liverpool womens hospital, down regging hasnt been too bad but had the predicted mood swings and tears! Hope everything will be ok at my re-scheduled scan so that I can move onto stage 2, managed to get it brought foward a day now (i would have run out of needles) so panick over now!
Which hospital are you at?

Hi all

Hope you are enjoying the snow. It has been wonderful, dd and dh and I went for a walk in the snow and it all looked pretty magical.

Sadly, I am now worrying that the clinic staff will not be able to get in this week, which may further delay our treatment. It is annoying how the old assisted conception creeps into so many things. But I am remaining very positive and can?t want to get started.

Just found out someone very dear to me is pregnant. I felt really sad for about 12 hours and then started to feel very positive again. It doesn?t matter how much you love the person who gets pregnant it seems that envy just creeps in, then I felt guilty for feeling envious! Luckily, the pregnant woman understood totally how I would feel, which is good. I didn?t have to hide how I felt and now I feel much better and can be positive for her. It?s not always that easy but sometime it is!

Flibbertywidget thanks for much for the encouragement. Can I ask, did you get your treatment here or abroad? Can I ask - was it egg share or anything? Please don?t say anything if you don?t want to. We?ve been told to be careful of confidentially at the clinic, with the donor eggs, which is why I don?t really feel I can go on the clinic website for chat. Netmums is much better for me, it is probably people from all over the country!

OOOopse that should be Mumsnet not netmums, I am always getting things round the wrong way, Mumsnet is better for me as chat room!

Thanks for the good wishes Penguindreams. Good luck with the downregging. What is giving you the feeling that there?s something they haven?t spotted?

Islegrin ? good luck with starting lupron next week and with the FET in Feb.

Luckywebby ? hope the tests are going smoothly and that you get a quick referral.

Ficam ? how did you get on with GP? That sounds very slack of them not to send the paperwork, you must be so angry with the unnecessary delay. Good idea to take things into your own hands.

Rosiebeagle ? your DH sounds like mine! This is the best place you can come for a bit of a vent and some great advice from people who know how youre feeling. It must feel so frustrating now you?ve started to have possible delays and hassle because of the weather, glad to hear they were able to reschedule you so the drug delivery wasn?t an issue.

Cerubina ? great news about your funded cycle have you had all the necessary blood tests, scans and SA done recently? If so and like you say theres no waiting list then it sounds like you may be able to start straight away. Woo hoo!

Hi Italiangreyhound ? hope you get to the top of the waiting list quickly. Sounds like you coped really well with your friends good news. I cringe at some of the black thoughts Ive had in the past but its normal and natural behaviour. The boot is on the other foot for me now ? had to tell a friend who just had recent m/c about my pregnancy. I didnt want her to hear 2nd hand but I put it off for ages. I was so nervous I pulled out the scan photo without thinking, she said she couldn?t look at it and Ive been beating myself up ever since for being so thoughtless

Hi to GW and the others waiting to start soon.

Londonlottie, that sounds wretched! Doesn't your DH have form for having a bit of a wibble from time to time though (hm, feel like mad cyberstalker here!)? Maybe he's just having a freak out now the girls are here and he's got to step up? Not to excuse at all! But could be the realness of it all is just hitting home? He's probably aware deep down he's being an arse though . Plus, if he's not helping, you get to have your gorgeous girls all to yourself!
Cerubina, we got offered a funded cycle straight off too (well, after 6 months of clomid). We delayed for a bit mainly through sheer terror that it might actually work , but it was nice knowing we could kick off whenever we were ready.
Bluebell6 - I suppose because my DH's SA wasn't THAT bad - I guess I thought something would have happened in all this time if that were the only problem. Plus the checks etc have been so rudimentary, at least by comparison with the US. A friend of mine just got pregnant for the 2nd time on her 2nd ICSI cycle in Miami (got a 14 months old from the 1st cycle ) and she had tons of additional tests such as checking hostility of the uterus killing off her DH's sperm etc. But I am a worrier by nature so I hope I'm just being unduly negative!
Waves generally!

RosieBeagle and ** I hope the bad weather doesn't get in the way of your treatments any more than it already has. When you are embroiled in such a high stakes, emotionally charged mission anyway, the last thing you need is random factors getting involved. This weather is mad but hopefully we will all get used to it and begin to cope better if it does last.

Isle that's great news that you are starting again with the FET so soon and you sound really upbeat. Good luck for it.

Italiangreyhound, welcome. Sounds as though you have been through a lot with your efforts to date, must have been frustrating when the donor recently didn't come off.

Penguindreams, will be really interested to get your thoughts on Guy's as you go along so I know what to expect. Hearing Lottie's glowing feedback makes me think we are in good hands.

Bluebell, Lottie, thank you. Yes, the doctor seemed happy that all the tests were recent enough that they didn't need to be re-performed (SA was in Sept, had a hycosy a year ago, was under a gynae until June so he's happy with the PCOS diagnosis)...so I guess it sounds as if we're good to go. Very much looking forward to the information evening and even to filling in all the forms (I am a bit of a weirdo and love doing forms! )

Lottie (to namecheck you once more) that sounds rough with your OH not pulling his weight, though I know bad backs can be murder. I'm sure you know exactly how to handle him and will find a way to get him back on track but it can't be easy doing it all single-handed.

We had some sad news from friends of ours yesterday, they went for their 12 week scan and there was no heartbeat. The baby had died at 7 weeks yet she had carried on with all the symptoms so it has been a terrible shock for them. It is all rather a parallel with our own loss last year but we can lend our support to them and maybe that can be one good thing that comes out of it. It just reinforces how much of a lottery this whole thing is and how bad things happen to the best people sometimes (I would count all of us struggling with TTC in there, we all know how much we have earned our little ones when they come!)

Hello to anyone I've missed - hope we are all wrapped up warm! I opted out of going to the office and haven't left the house today (but have been working hard, Brownie's honour).

RosieBeagle I hope the bad weather doesn't get in the way of your treatment any more than it already has. When you are embroiled in such a high stakes, emotionally charged mission anyway, the last thing you need is random factors getting involved. This weather is mad but hopefully we will all get used to it and begin to cope better if it does last.

Isle that's great news that you are starting again with the FET so soon and you sound really upbeat. Good luck for it.

Italiangreyhound, welcome. Sounds as though you have been through a lot with your efforts to date, must have been frustrating when the donor recently didn't come off.

Penguindreams, will be really interested to get your thoughts on Guy's as you go along so I know what to expect. Hearing Lottie's glowing feedback makes me think we are in good hands.

Bluebell, Lottie, thank you. Yes, the doctor seemed happy that all the tests were recent enough that they didn't need to be re-performed (SA was in Sept, had a hycosy a year ago, was under a gynae until June so he's happy with the PCOS diagnosis)...so I guess it sounds as if we're good to go. Very much looking forward to the information evening and even to filling in all the forms (I am a bit of a weirdo and love doing forms! )

Lottie (to namecheck you once more) that sounds rough with your OH not pulling his weight, though I know bad backs can be murder. I'm sure you know exactly how to handle him and will find a way to get him back on track but it can't be easy doing it all single-handed.

We had some sad news from friends of ours yesterday, they went for their 12 week scan and there was no heartbeat. The baby had died at 7 weeks yet she had carried on with all the symptoms so it has been a terrible shock for them. It is all rather a parallel with our own loss last year but we can lend our support to them and maybe that can be one good thing that comes out of it. It just reinforces how much of a lottery this whole thing is and how bad things happen to the best people sometimes (I would count all of us struggling with TTC in there, we all know how much we have earned our little ones when they come!)

Hello to anyone I've missed - hope we are all wrapped up warm! I opted out of going to the office and haven't left the house today (but have been working hard, Brownie's honour).

Hmm, sorry about that double post. Doesn't this site let you edit things? Grrrrr.

Hi to all

Lovely to see so much chat on here.

Bluebell6 sorry hear about your scan photo gaff, I?m sure your friend will be Ok once the news has sunk in. I usually like to get my ?announcements? by email now, gives me a chance to get the info in and assemble my ?face? before seeing the friend. One friend came round specially to tell me, which was sweet of her but of course I ended up crying in front of her! I guess it is all totally normal.

Isle I must have missed something about your starting again with the FET. All the very best. My friend had (I think) just one good frozen embryo left and now has a lovely daughter so it does seem to work well sometimes. Let?s hope it does this time.

Lottie, I hated being told to sleep when the baby sleeps and I found it really hard to do, I am a night bird and I guess with two you may find they aren?t even sleeping at the same time! It does get easier, really. Maybe your DH is just a bit shocked now they are here, maybe he is having to take a back seat a bit and feels a bit sidelined! My DH had to do quite a lot in the early days as I was pretty ill when DD was born, and so bathing was always his job (and is to this day). It was nice for him to have an area of responsibility (as I breast fed and was rubbish at expressing he was not able to do feeds!).

Best wishes to all, is anyone actually on a waiting list for donor eggs?

Hi everybody, some of you will remember me, Ailz, from many months ago when i abandoned you when the going got too tough. I cant explain why. I think i was addicted to mumsnet and i was very busy in my own life so something had to give.
well I have remained intrigued about what happened with Caitni, Londonlottie, Sooty, Bumpless, gingerwine and many others. I have very quickly glanced at a couple of pages, not enough to get proper update, please update me!
My story is that i got my BFP! I am 15 and a half weeks pg now, wait for it, with twins! had my scan and fingers crossed they are big and doing well.
I must however state that it was far from the wonderful, easy BFP. after 2 years and a failed ivf, i finally had what i wanted, but sank into depression almost immediately after the result. i actually saw a physical fog descend in the bathroom. it was terrible, i can only explain that it was such a huge fear that i now had what i wanted, but it would definitely be taken away. i look back now, thankfully better and i remember being completely convinced that i would miscarry. it was awful.
as i said i am better now and still very apprehensive though.
Hope everyone else is well.

Bluebell, congratulations just saw the news , while trawling backwards through the thread! marvellous news. except the head down the toilet bit, know how you feel. i never seem to make it to the toilet, always the bathroom sink for some reason and you cant flush the sink. gross, sorry TMI.
brilliant news. i am due end june, but its twins so will probably go earlier. in my family we all say things like, please god, and all sorts of superstitious things when we mention unborn babies, so PLEASE GOD!
Delighted.

its me again, Huge congrats LondonLottie, oh i am delighted and it was wonderful to see the photos, they look so big, two gorgeous girls. i secretly hope for two girls, even though i have one already. i never say this out loud. dh does not mind but would like one boy. i love to see twin stuff, find it so fascinating now and there is very little info out there really, just one tiny paragraph in the odd magazine or book.
it is great that they are such good size, i think that is the main worry after you get past the really scary bits.
congrats again, i remember that lovely blissful beginning bit so well.

Aliz woo hoo - massive congrats on your pregnancy!! I've wondered how you've been doing - totally understand the need to give MN a body swerve when things get tough. But I'm delighted to hear you're pregnant, and even more delighted that it's twins (Lottie's girls are just delicious). So it was a natural BFP? Sorry you suffered with a bit of antenatal depression, but I'm glad you're over it now.

I'm 32 weeks, so on the count down to the start of maternity leave and then, of course, the birth itself. We don't know what we're having, and am definitely ready to meet the LO...especially as all this snow and ice makes me feel old and wobbly rather than pregnant!

Thanks Caitni,
congrats on reaching the 32 weeks! it really drags at that stage i know, but i always think that being big and wobbly in winter is a bit better than being big and hot and sweaty in summer!
it was our second ivf actually and we let it go to blastocyst stage, the most nerve-wracking thing in my life, letting those days count down, getting a phone call every morning to say that the embryos were dwindling and falling by the wayside. good god. day 3 and there were two very good ones left and the embryologist asked me to make a decision whether to come in and transfer or wait til day 5 with radio silence then. we waited and were so glad.
yes LL twins are absolutely gorgeous arent they? so big and cuddly looking. she is blessed.

Hi to all

I know it is crazy as I prepare for doing egg donation but I keep thinking my boobs feel heavy maybe I?m preg! The number of tests I have wasted with these silly thoughts is incredible! I think it is when other people talk about it I start thinking, oh yeah mine feel like that too! My friend is expecting and keeps mentioning her boobs! (TMI)

Hi Ailz ? congratulations. I suppose you?ve heard of Tamba, the Twins and Multiple Births Association, which is a charity set up by parents of twins, triplets and other multiples, and interested professionals, their website is: www.tamba.org.uk

Cerubina, hi, wonderful that you were offered a funded cycle straight away. I must have missed the bit where you said about PCOS diagnosis. I am not sure exactly what PCOS is/does but I do have a friend who has it and managed to have two kids without any help (she was just about to go for help when she had the first).

Yes, it was very frustrating when the donor wasn?t able to provide eggs last time, totally not her fault and she felt bad too because she was all geared up for it. It may not be the same everywhere but for us, when the donor is altruistic, they are matched to two couples (here in the UK) and couple one gets the lion?s share (if there?s an odd number). Also, couple one get the lot if there aren?t enough to share. I knew about this but had imagined it wouldn?t happen. I was at work when I found out and it was really horrible news to get. I managed to get over it fairly quickly and I am looking forward to our next donor. It was weird as you are all geared up for something to happen and then it doesn?t! I am not one of those people who believe everything happens for a reason, but I am a Christian and that gave me some strength.

Cerubina I?m thinking of your friend who lost her baby and didn?t find out until 12 weeks, it is really good that you can be there to support them. Hope it does not bring back too many sad memories for you.

Best wishes to all.

Cerubina, your poor friend, that is every pg woman's worst nightmare. I hope she can recover.
Thanks italiangreyhound for you info on Tamba. I know very little about the twin world, will be researching thoroughly very soon. That must be devastating about the donor eggs not working out. what is the next step? i like that you are positive though, as it really is the only way to get through it. it may have been coincidence, but when my dh and i cheered up, saw the bright side of things and made an alternative possible plan, things began to be really successful. Every single step of this AC is tentative and like a minefield for our minds and hearts. keep positive. it really is the only way to be, the alternative is misery and pessimism. i wish you all the luck in the world.

Gone bonkers tonight and did a pregnancy test, negative as one might expect! It was just the heavy boobs confusing me, I guess I just have heavy boobs these days!

I must be getting hardened to it as I didn?t really flinch this time!

Ailz ? twins sounds so exciting, I?d love that! Had a house-ful of friends this week and held a lovely baby. I think I really am hardened to it all now as I know for some people that would be very difficult to do. Actually, baby filled nappy as I held him and I thought, mmmm some things I don?t miss!

In answer to your question Ailz, next step is new donor, starting to down reg and then the donor taking all the drugs for egg collection. I just have injections (done by DH) for down reg, then hormone tablets to get lining ready and finally peseries around the time of egg collection and onwards.

Is anyone else down regulating at the end of this month, start of Feb?

Hi to all hope everyone is ok and coping in the snow!
Italiangreyhound i know what you mean about the tests, i dread to think how much ive wasted over the years on PT's and Ov T's you build yourself up for the fall befoe hand but there is always that tiny glimmer of hope isnt there! i dont know what i will do when i finally get a BFP!!!
Bluebell congratulations and rest assured your gaff is nowhere near what my oldest friend did to me a couple of weeks ago, she'd already told me (via facebook) that she was pg, she was round our house pg prior to this and knew about it when she told me they werent trying (why would u say that) she knows all about our problems but never asks, then she must have forgot she told me that as later she said she was trying to get pg on honeymoon and was 'devastated' when she wasnt pg first time of trying - turns out she actually was. oh and she showed me honeymoon photos of the bed they conceived in (yes really) and then went on to say she was 'devastated'(she likes that word)! when they found out it was a girl as they dont have any names. i dont know how i stopped myself from punching her in the face needless to say i havent told her about our ifv cycle! sorry that went on a bit!
congratulations to LL and ailz too, its nice to know that this is all worth the effort and does actually work!
good luck to everyone else what ever point in your cycle you are, still hopeing that my appointment wont get cancelled again on tuesday for my baseline scan, feeling pretty rubbish on this buserilin god help DH when i go through the menopause lol!

Hi all

Hope everyone is doing OK and coping in the alpine weather.

RosieBeagle can?t believe your story of your friend being ?devastated? left right and centre. I think people who have not been through fertility issues really have no idea how it feels. I have friends who are kind and well meaning but at times overly interested, stopping you and asking how it is all going etc almost like they are asking for a business update!

I guess they just don?t know, maybe sometimes it helps to tell them how painful it is but maybe there are some people who wouldn?t realise even if you explained!

RosieBeagle just remind me, are you down reging now with a view to stimulation and then egg collection? This is your first time isn?t it? Hope it all goes really well.

Ailz!!! I am so thrilled for you, and twins? omg, its just fantastic. Don?t blame you for taking a step back after the summer, I did that too for a few months after our July ivf failed. You need to. Glad to hear the depression has eased too, I think its normal to feel apprehensive after struggling to conceive for so long. I hope from now on things go smoothly for you. When is your due date?

Caitni that?s fab to hear you?re well into 3rd trimester now. When do you finish work? Bet you cant wait.

LL sorry to hear you?re suffering, is there anyone else you can call on to help out? It sounds like you could do with some support. Its hard after a c-section and you need time to rest if you can possibly get it, just try to lie down as much as possible and get your DH to ask his doc for some strong painkillers..

Penguindreams Im sure theyve been really thorough, its hard not to worry, you could ask your clinic about the tests your friend got and see if theyre available to you?

Cerubina so so so sad to hear about your friend, cannot even begin to imagine how utterly desolate they must feel.

Italiangreyhound My friend is fine about it I think I was worrying about nothing. Probably Im supersensitive about it cos I know how it feels. And Rosiebeagle your experience made me feel a bit better but OMG at your friend... THAT is superinsensitive I think you would be mad to tell her about ivf!

Hi guys

Hope you are all doing well and none of you pregnant ladies is slipping about on the ice. Where we are it is quite snowy still and still more coming!

Hoping to hear if the clinic is open this week so we can get on with it all!

Had a bit of a melt down (quietly) today. Found out someone was pregnant by bumping into her. It just kind of triggered me off and later I could not stop crying in a quiet sort of way. It?s not exactly crying, just my eyes won?t stop watering! It?s really embarrassing because it took ages to stop myself. Now I am fine about it and of course wish her all the best. She is on the way to number three and it has really not been easy for her so it is not a personal thing at all. It is almost a gut reaction! Have just realised that finding out someone I know is expecting is sometimes the thing that can be upsetting, weird. It's not a problem all the time, just sometimes, and of course when people have had trouble conceiving I feel happy for them. I?m OK with babies and people I know are pregnant. Another friend has just had twins, which gives me hope.

Anyway, Londonlottie, hope things are getting easier. Do you get support from health visitors in Switzerland, or the equivalent? Have you got any other new mums around who can be supportive locally? I had a look at your profile and was wondering what an ?ex freelance tv monkey? was?

RosieBeagle have you got a baseline scan coming up or am I getting mixed up?

Ficam and Gingerwine have you got any treatment coming up?

Please ignore my questions if don?t want to chat!

Anyway, best of luck to all.

Auntie Flo arrived today, that does kind of explain all the weeping (and the sore boobs too) . I guess it means it is not 'finding out' that is the problem but how my hormones are doing when I find out! I have not had a real period for ages, so this was a shock and actually quite welcome! I just had a bleed (sorry, TMI) when our treatment got abandoned last month, but this is the first real period since August.

BUT it is nice hearing about bfps from you guys, it is totally different to just running into an old friend and a million miles from hearing an announcement in a big crowd!

londonlottie thanks for the update, it all sounds quite normal, my friend was very protective over her baby and almost didn't let her hubby near him! I guess he is adjusting to it all, your hubby, and he hasn't had all the hospital time and stuff so it may feel quite weird for him at first. Maybe he will be so delighted to see you after your pamper session it will be just be nice and you can have dinner together and chat etc. I found in the early days dd was always there at meal times (I think she could smell the food!) it was hard to find any time to just chat with dh! Must be even more so with two.

All the best.

Thanks everyone for your congratulations, yes it really can work, i suppose that is the lesson. you can come out the other side with what you wanted all along, but the fear takes over a bit, every twinge, cramp, slip will have you panicking or trying not to panic. i slipped down the stairs a few weeks, bumped every step on the way down (on my bum) my 3 year old dd stood and stared at me in shock, dont know how i didnt take her with me. it must have been agonising but i didnt feel a thing but shock! i was fine, nothing happened and had scan soon after to say everything fine. how come i never fell before? strange.
italiangreyhound it sounds like a lot when you write it down doesnt it? but we are tough and able to do anything i think. the best of luck with it. i understand what you mean about being hardened to it. i was. i could hold babies and coo like the rest of them, i put up a shield i think. i would get home and be a bit down, but no one would have known.
i know what you mean about the person you met who was pg. i had little rules too, i was ok with people being pg with first child, not second. and those who had been trying for a long time, but everyone else was like a stab in the heart.
Bluebell just read about your scan photo situation, you poor thing. dont beat yourself up. she will get over it, she is hurting and it is nothing to do with you or your pregnancy. i cant imagine the torture for both of you.
RosieBeagle i understand your torture and disbelief at your 'friend'. i had similar situation with a friend in the past, who knew my situation very well, would discuss it with me and then go on and on about whether she would start trying for her third child now or later because she just knew she would fall pg straight away (which she always did) and then scan through a catalogue in my house picking out what baby clothes she would buy. i was so hurt and angry that she could be so insensitive. although we want our friends to speak truthfully around us, a certain amount of sensitivity is required isnt it? Please dont tell too many people about ivf. i dont think there is any need. they will feel that they are entitled to regulare updates and you will feel that you need to tell them how it is going and whether it works and it is stressful to have to tell them.