Assisted conception (and the bits in between!) - part 4 - all welcome

[mummycat1]

Starting new thread with massive congratulations to Nanoo I reckon the old man can wait till he gets home! But of course - it's up to you really xxx

Evening all

Just started typing a reply and lost it, grr! Haven't been on here for about 10 days, which means it takes ages to catch up on all the posts and make sure you are on top of where everyone is.

Italiangreyhound, hope you are feeling a bit chirpier now as presumably AF should have been and gone. Having a few teary days now and again is unfortunately par for the course on this stupid rollercoaster!

Rosiebeagle, how are you finding the injections? I can imagine the downregging makes you feel pretty horrible, so I hope this phase is easier going.

Ailz, congratulations on your twin announcement. How lovely. Your posts have been making me chuckle, I think you will be good to have around here if you are happy to look in and recommend cake to all of us at various points when we sound as though we need it!

DuelingFanjo, that's great news that you have the IVF funding. From memory, weren't you trying to decide between IUI and IVF before? Apologies if I am mixing you up with someone else but if I am right then I should think you're very pleased to get the go-ahead for IVF which seems to have better success rates as I understand it.

Luckywebby, that sucks about the zero sperm in your OH's test. Did the doctors give you a clue about what they think could happen next? I know that there are techniques for harvesting sperm as part of IVF, it is not the ideal situation and probably a real blow for your OH but let's hope you can benefit from the amazing stuff they can do. In the end I hope we all find that our tribulations on the way just melt away and having the baby by whatever means is what counts.

LeviStubbsTears it can't be easy going into all this with doubts about your OH's commitment to the cause. Any idea what's making him seem so lukewarm? Sometimes men hold back like this because they are trying to be strong for us, thinking that if they act as though it's not a big deal it will protect us from disappointment or maybe protect themselves. Do you plan to try and find out what's going on? Seems to me that it's a hard enough experience without feeling you are shouldering it all alone (even though 95% of the stuff happens to us, not them).

LL the very idea of your twins sucking each other's thumbs is unbearably cute. How is the cleaner working out so far? Have you managed to get OH involved with the care and to make yourself let it happen? I can only imagine how easy it is to become a bit of a control freak. I dread to think how I'd be with my mother in law, for example, who can be a bit scatty and clumsy at the best of times - I will be chewing my knuckles to shreds if we ever have a baby and let her babysit!!

My update: well OH and I both came down with a nasty dose of norovirus last week, which led to me being physically sick on a packed commuter train on a Monday morning. I daresay I ruined a few people's journeys to work that day . We both needed three days off work and were really zonked out by it. The third day off happened to be our information evening at the hospital, and I have to say we would have had to give it a miss if it had been on any other day, just couldn't have physically done it. As it was, we were just about able to haul our asses in for it, pay attention and then slink home again. Very relieved too as would have hated to miss it and lose another month. I think we are now waiting for another appointment at the hospital to discuss all the consent forms etc and then it's all go after that. Yay.

Simultaneously we're trying to find some rental accommodation to move into for 6 months as our house is being done up. It's really aggravating and difficult, but I suppose it does help take my mind off imminent IVF and distracts me so probably no bad thing.

Right, time to crack on with supper!

Cerubina Well done on getting to the point you are at and not missing that appointment. I think doing up your house now, before any babies put in an appearance is a good idea. It may well give you something good to concentrate on too.

LeviStubbsTears how was the essay? Great name, where did you get it?

I am feeling a 100 percent better. It was really all hormones!

Hi everyone, been off the radar for a little while.
Cerubina - glad you could get in to your appt (hope you weren't infectious by then!) Norovirus is astonishingly contagious - I bet a fair few you threw up on came down with it too! You're at Guy's too aren't you? We had about a 6 week gap between the patient evening and our 1st appt, but that was worse than usual apparently. Then we waited a couple of months before diving in!
RosieBeagle - how is the treatment going? Are you still on track for EC next week? That seems slow to me - I only started stims yesterday and they reckon EC for me next week too!
LeviStubbsTears - my DH is the same. He's going along with all this but would be just as happy if I said, enough. I think it's part natural panic at the idea of being a parent (which I share - I'm completely terrified that it might work!), part being comfortable with our life as it is and part probably a defence mechanism against it not working.
LuckyWebby - a friend of mine is now 16 weeks pregnant with # 2 (both IVF) and her husband has zero sperm in his sample. They extracted it directly from the testicles (ouch!) - think it's called TESA. Hope he's doing ok - what a blow for you both.
I started the Gonal F yesterday (ceremoniously jabbed by DH, who was v proud of himself and expected lots and lots of praise, bless him! Spent the night just dripping with sweat (had to turn the fan on!) and feel v nauseous this morning, so hope things settle down shortly!
Waves to all!

Oh I do hope I didn't infect anyone on the train, that would be awful. In case anyone is imagining I sprayed people with vomit, fortunately I didn't. I was quite discreet and it was only on the floor, but of course you're right it was not good doing that in such a public place.

Penguindreams that's useful info about the timing of appointments, thanks. I hope it won't be so much of a gap for us - feels as though we have waited forever already, but I know we are only one of many they have to get through. I was surprised how many couples there were at the info evening actually - must have been 40 couples I should think, and that's one month at one hospital. The mind boggles.

Anyway, I hope the nausea and hot flushes go off soon. I often get night sweats around the time of AF and there is nothing worse than waking up bathed in sweat, simply foul.

Does anyone else find themselves putting stupid pressure on themselves by worrying about landmarks that keep coming and going? Like I thought yesterday how if I don't get pregnant first cycle then I will definitely not have a baby until 2011. I can always find some stupid landmark: last chance to be pregnant before my next birthday, last chance to be pregnant before Christmas, bla bla bla. At Christmas time I was so hoping it would be the last year when it was just us and that next time there'd be a new baby too. You'd think I'd have learned by now, it'll happen when it happens, can't influence things, and it doesn't help to think these stupid things up but there is always something it seems in any given cycle! Am I alone in this?

Hi to all
cerubina sorry to hear youve been poorly hope you are feeling better now and i totally know what you mean about putting pressure on yourselves - i do it every time we go on holiday to cornwall, we go twice a year and each time i think oh nevermind the next time we come i'll either be pregnant or pushing a pram! im also like some complete nut case analysing all the (hundreds) of prams that i see out and about thinking hmm that looks good - currently obsessing over the Phil and Teds
pengiundreams treatment on the stims is going ok thanks - i did have a delay of a week due to the snow so had to take the buserlin for longer than normal but go for 2nd scan this friday and then all being well monday 25th jan will be the big day. i feel like ive been injectiong forever (since the 18th december)! and cant beleive its only round the corner now!
italiangreyhound my hormones are all over the place at the moment and am blaming everything on them! its nice to have the excuse!
Hope everyone else is doing ok

Just a quick one cos I'm excited - got home from work tonight to find a letter from the hospital giving us our next appointment date, and it's less than two weeks away! This is ACE - unless something goes awry, we should have that out of the way before my next cycle starts. So all being well I could be starting ICSI next month!

Sorry for me me me post, just wanted to tell someone!

Hi everyone
I'm new to posting here - unfortunately not to the assisted conception lark. I had a failed cycle of ICSI last May/June, and am currently on cycle 2. DH gave me the first stimms injection today - he managed to hit a blood vessel, ouch. Anyone else around the same point?

Hi all, I've popped back into the thread again, some familiar names on here and some new ones. I've read a wee way back, good luck to all

Cerubina I just had to laugh when I read your words about landmark dates and putting pressure on yourself. I'm normally fairly level headed, sensible, educated etc, so was mortified to find I cried when I couldn't have a complete cycle of IVF at the end of 2005, instead I was only able to start a cycle instead. The reason? A yearly horoscope for me for 2005 had said I'd get pregnant that year.....and I was gutted when the dates just didn't work

Hi to Lottie as well, hope all is well with your lovely girls, love the photos especially the spooning photo

To all of those who don't know me, I have a DD who is 3 (via IVF) and have several cycles of treatments since, at 2 different clinics, with a miscarriage early last year and otherwise no success. I'm in the middle of another IVF cycle at the moment - had a nightmare struggling through snow and ice for scans, blood tests, EC and ET over the last 2 weeks (I'm in the north). The day of EC it was black ice everywhere, cars in ditches and hedges , no grip at all and a 45 mile drive and a hell of a deadline. Am very glad that is over now!

I'm a few days into the 2WW - but actually it isn't a 2WW but more like a 3WW can you believe - a 2WW is bad enough, frankly. I've been put onto lots of additional drugs as well as the pessaries as the consultant thinks my aging ovaries don't bounce back from downregging as well as they could. I've been given 2 weeks of HRT to take, plus cyclogest AND small doses of HCG to take every 3 days, which will cause a false positive pregnancy test if I don't wait 8 days after the last dose to test. I have a dreadful feeling I'm going to not deal at all well with the next 2 weeks. Still, at least I have all the pill-taking, pessaries and injections to distract me.

Geez onlyaphase i thought it was bad enough having 2 injections a day im really not so sure what ive let myself in for!
I wish you all the very best with this cycle anyway, i hope you've got alarms set for all these different drugs i wouldnt know if i was coming or going!

Cerubina CONGRATS on the appointment, really hope it goes well.

You are not alone! I am always counting down by 9 months. I too have a sort of feeling of wanting the baby, if there is a baby, to come in time for Christmas, before my birthday etc. I even add to the pressure with long lists of things I want out of the way before treatment. Like I must clear out that cupboard, shelf etc!!

RosieBeagle and Cerubina and I also go every autumn to a wood and think, next year it will not be just DH and DD but new baby too! In fact, as I love al the seasons from snow drops, to crocuses, to bluebells to poppies etc, I often find myself marking time in this way. I guess it doesn?t help.

delilahbelle welcome.

Hi all,

Thought I'd been on a few days ago but can't find the post I thought I'd written - weird! Anyway, hope you're all doing well - and that you're fully better from the bug, Cerubina - sounded horrendous! Poor you.

I'm due to have information seminar and consultation with a doctor at the IVF clinic in mid Feb, Italiangreyhound - no idea how long afterwards the treatment will be. You folk probably know more than I do.

DH is a bit of a big kid himself, Cerubina, so that?s part of his reluctance, and he has a great life ? we both do ? and thinks there?s a lot of social pressure - almost a conspiracy to get people to have kids when they could be just as happy without. I have a lot of sympathy with this position (without quite going as far as the conspiracy idea) and many of these feelings ? we?re lucky in a way that we can imagine a life beyond kids if it doesn?t happen for us. But it?s also really hard (as you say, Penguin) pushing for an enormous life change for both of us unilaterally, as it were.

Anyway, he?s going along with the IVF thing, without being exactly keen, so I should count my blessings, I guess.

Levi Stubbs? Tears is a Billy Bragg song, Italian - he?s a big fave of mine. The essay was ok in the end, and also had exams the day it was due, so all a bit exhausting. Went ok, though ran out of time ? classic exam technique. (Out of practice after all these years!)

Hope you?re all doing ok and those of you doing IVF aren?t having too bad a time ? doesn?t sound like it?s much fun, Onlyaphase, but hang in there. Sounds like you?re doing everything you can to make it a success at least. Good luck, everyone.

LeviStubbsTears I am not sure how long it will be after the appointment, hopefully not too long. I can't remember how old you are and if you are older you may wish to ask for an appointment as soon as possible. Actually, if you have got to this stage you probably ant that anyway!

Don't worry they will explain it all I am sure.

For us there seemed to be a long wait between initial appointment and then the next etc, maybe six months, but I think that has changed now and people are seem quicker. We were kind of NHS at the start and then went semi-privately for the actual treatment, well, we paid but not a lot!

All the best.

Onlyaphase good luck! Hope you're coping ok so far (and resisting the urge to symptom spot too much!)

Cerubina - great news about the early appointment! Our 1st appt lasted about 5 mins because our tests were quite recent. My DH was not happy having to take a day off work for that! Plus he resented having to attend full stop - felt like Guy's were wanting us to 'prove' that he was committed, which felt a bit intrusive. But anyway, he did it!

RosieBeagle hope your scan today goes well. Post an update with results etc if you get the chance!

I'm on day 5 of stims and not feeling too bad. R ovary is starting to feel under a bit of pressure though, but I suppose that is only to be expected. Drinking all this water is killing me though!

Oh, LST, I'm kind of with your husband on the conspiracy theory! There are definitely some women who seem to feel that urge and it's just more powerful than anything. But I think there are a lot of us who don't, but who give it a go nonetheless because it's expected, or because we think we'll enjoy it when we get there etc etc. I do wonder how many of us in the latter category would take the plunge if left to our own devices, as it were. Hm, interesting!

I do wonder if I'm almost jinxing myself though. Like you, we can imagine a life without kids, and I wonder if just thinking that means it's more likely not to happen...? Sorry, early morning ramblings!

Has anyone seen Islegrin, by the way? I was wondering (again, feeling like creepy cyber stalker) how she was getting on and whether they'd decided to try a live cycle again.

Hi to all
Well this is a bit of a 'me' post so aploglies in advamce. Feel thoroughly deflated as had my scan today and only 1 egg as I haven't responded to the drugs as I should have, should have been on a higher dose, they said to go ahead with egg collection probably tuesday now but cant help thinking not much chance with just the 1. I am so disheartened by it. thats one of my 'free' goes on the NHS only 1 more available for me, i know i should be grateful but just feel disappointed that if i had been on a higher dose i might have stood more of a chance has anybody else experienced this?

Rosie, sorry about your scan and I can understand why you are feeling disheartened.

From my varied experiences, I would say that the aim of most clinics is for each woman to produce 2 good embryos. It is very rare ( only 1 in 10 at my clinic) to have something to freeze and is considered a bonus, likewise having sufficient embryos to go to blastocyst. So, whilst you only have one follicle so far, chances are it is a good one, rather than producing 15 follicles but only 1 or 2 good embryos, if you see what I mean. Quality not quantity!

I would also say that wait and see what happens at egg collection, there may well be another egg lurking in there. Fingers crossed for Tuesday anyway.

Thanks OAP (can i call you that)?! Its re-assuring to read your post thankyou, im feeling a little better about things, i am normally a really positive person and I know that i need to stay like that, any negativity wont help the situation i know. i had a good cry on the phone to my mum before and am thinking clearer now.
The clinic rang earlier to say it will be tues for definite and ran through my schedule what to do when, im having another 2 amps of menopur tomorrow so fingers crossed this extra dose might help another one ripen so to speak!
I really do not envy anyone going through all this what it must be like eh to have a quickie and bingo ! ho hum... oh well onwards and upwards as they say

Rosie, glad you are feeling better. Never write off a cycle until it's over!

I do know what you mean though - the thought of just being able to have sex to get pregnant just seems bizarrely simple.

And yes, OAP is fine!

Hi there - Rosie I'm sorry to hear that the news wasn't so great at your scan, but as you say there is still a bit of time for more progress so fingers crossed. And if you don't get more developing in the meantime then will send all good vibes that the follicle has a good strong egg in it that goes all the way! I think you're right that a positive frame of mind is important here, and perhaps if you can keep busy this weekend that will be good too. Anyway, best of luck - have a good weekend everybody!

Hi Rosie

Try and stay positive, rememebr it's quality not quantity. And I'm sure I've read research that says people on menopur tend to produce fewer better quality eggs, which is what you want really.

I am plannig on having a lazy weekend and doing NOTHING except chill out. Might potter round the garden if the weather is nice, but that's it. Hope you all have a great weekend too.

Hi everyone.
Sorry not been around for a while, just spent a little while catching up on what everyone's up to.
Rosie - Hope all goes well with the egg collection, I will have everything crossed for you that the one is the one that will give you your BFP.
Hope everyone else currently doing their cycle is OK and best wishes.
I had my appointment at the clinic today and the lady doctor was very informative. She told us lots of different way the sperm can be retrieved as DH has none present when he had his SA.
Only problem is the cost...as DH also has other problems in that area the best way is MESA which costs an additional £2500 on top of the cost of ICSI. we haven't saved that much. I wish we had known all this before undergoing the vasectomy reversal the amount we spent on that (and it hadn;t worked) could have gone towards this. But hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Anyway..sorry to rant and rabbit on...we have to decide if we want TESA, MESA or PESA. SO no further forward still and I feel time is just slipping by.
Any advice or guidance would be gratefully received.
Have a good weekend.
x

RosieBeagle Sorry you only have one so far but one is better than none and who knows what that one may do! Try to stay positive if you can. I got pregnant with dd with one follicle with IUI so it is possible just one little egg can produce a baby, I mean this is what happens normally so don't feel too sad that there are not more.

Luckywebby Can't advise about this as I am not aware of all the differences but would suggest getting doctor's best advice and going with it if you can. Would a kindly relatvie be able to give you your Christmas presents early so you can have the treatment? Don't know if there is any chance the hospital could reimbuse you anything as the reversal op did not work? I am guessing they make no promises about things working. Anyway, sorry to hear it is bad news so far but let's hope that you discover a priceless antique in the loft. No, I'm not being flipant, I know paying for it all is a problem, we started down this route before we had the cash and luckily received a gift from a relative I think if not we would have raided our buying a new car fund! Whatever you are able to do, all the best for it.

Hi IGH

we asked the clinic if they would give a discount if we used PESA and it didn't work against MESA and they said no, the cost is the cost.
If you have any rich relatives that wuld like to adopt me that would be great (lol) but as no one in the family knows we are going through this even if we did have a rich aunt it's not an option.

DH has said that he will sell his car (his prode and joy) if necessary so we have the money but I don't feel I can ask him to do this.
Hope everyone else is OK
Lisa
x

Luckywebby that sucks. Is this not the time to start talking to family maybe? That is a lot of extra money to find, and maybe your parents would want to help. Up to your H if he wants to sell the car, but I agree, I wouldn't be happy asking mine to do that unless he's just as mad keen on having kids as you (which seems unlikely if he had the vasectomy?) Hope you get some good news soon.

RosieBeagle how are you doing? Hope EC yesterday went well.

OAP hope you're feeling ok and the waiting isn't proving too bad!

I'm off to the hospital again shortly for a day 10 scan (after 9 days of stims). The scan on Mon was ok - 1 14mm follicle and lots between 9mm and 12mm so I may be down for EC or possibly Monday. I tend to ovulate day 16 or so naturally so am wondering if I might need the extra time to Mon, but doubtless it won't be my choice!

Hi Penguindreams well I am feeling on top of the world at the moment! They got 4 eggs yesterday (not a lot i know but more than was predicted on friday) and just had the phonecall to say 2 have fertilised!! Wooo hoo!So ET tomorrow and one step closer
Have you been through EC before? It wasnt so bad at all really, I got myself worked up a little bit beforehand but there was really nothing to worry about, I am just still a bit tender today but taking paracetomal. Good luck with the EC anyway I am keeping everything crossed for you, they gave me an extra day of stims and it gave me another couple of eggs.
Thanks again also to OAP, Cerubina, delilahbelle, luckywebby and italiangreyhound, your comments were just what i needed when i had a bit of a wobble last week to not give up and all that! If I stay in this frame of mind then who knows it could just be our turn.
The clinic advised us initially due to my frame to only have 1 embie put back but now Im seriously considering to put the 2 that we have back? Am i mad? We have a lot to talk about tonight as DH says he doesnt want to put me at risk and i understand that, but just in a bit of a quandry now! I think if we had more to freeze i wouldnt even think about it for some reason.
Anyway enough of me! Where is everybody else up to in their cycles?
luckywebby I agree with penguin if you do mention it to parents you just never know they might have a little nest egg tucked away that they could perhaps lend you if you didnt want to accept, obviously you know more about their financial situations than us but it could be a possibility, good luck anyway.
Bye to all, will post again in a couple of days after ET.

Hi all

Rosie that is great news! So pleased for you that they managed to get a couple more eggs, and that two are looking in good shape. I can imagine now you have a bit of a dilemma about how many to put back. Not having been through it yet I'm not sure what to advise, but if the doctors have confidence that you have a good enough chance with one embryo perhaps that should carry some weight in your decision. Good luck with what you decide to do.

Luckywebby that is a really big cost and must be so difficult to know what to do. IVF is a high stakes game anyway without selling cars and so on to make the numbers add up. I wonder whether telling your family you are going through it might be good for support too, not just for the chance they might be able to lend/give you some cash. It's quite a lot to put yourself through and not have any family in the know. But of course it's up to you how you want to play it.

I'm having a couple of days off work as we are moving house tomorrow and have got the men coming today to pack us up. So should be plenty going on, and then it will take us a while to get broadband set up so access to t'interweb will be work only for a while - annoying!

I'm also a bit concerned as I've started bleeding today, excuse if TMI but it's bright red and looks like AF - only problem is I am 3 DPO today so it really can't be. I've had cervical erosion for a while so it might be bleeding from that, but I haven't had sex that recently (3 days ago) and just don't know what to make of it. If it really was AF then that mucks up my hopes of starting IVF in a couple of weeks - will have missed the boat for another cycle . Any thoughts anyone?

Penguindreams good luck for your scan and EC in a few days - sounds very promising. Hope it continues in that vein.

Hi to everyone else.