Clinic called about our egg share application....

[OracleInaCoracle]

and its a no. because of my rmc. so they fucked up my caesarean, i have problems keeping a uterine pg past 5w and they have rejected the only option we have for another dc via IVF on those grounds.

i do understand, but im gutted. we both are.

So sorry to read this lissie, I can only imagine how you must be feeling

thanks. really dont know where to go from here. we wont be able to afford ivf privately for at least 3y, which means i will be 35 before our first cycle. i always saw us as having a gaggle of children, at least 4 and all close together, now i know thats not going to happen. how can we give up on the life we always wanted? we have ds and love him so much, but our family isnt complete.

he wrote his santa list and asked for a baby brother or sister, how do i explain that he will be an only child?

and to make things worse, my ov pains are horrendous this month, from tubeless side!

does anyone know if we have any other options open to us?

i think we would have to declare. i have only had problems with rmc since the cs, they misplaced my bladder and allowed an infection to rage for 7d post op. there were adhesions all over my uterus and during hysteroscopy they took a sample of my womb lining because it was inflamed. it seems to me perfectly obvious (given the stage i mc at is around implantation rather than later on) that implantation is the issue, not my eggs. chromosone testing was all fine too. biut they cant take the risk.

Oh, no, lissie. I'm sorry to read this.

lissie i have followed your story (i have been ttc for 4 years). i have given up adn tbh it is a relief. i wish i could get the past 4 years of craziness back.

of course i wish i could have had more children but i simply isn't going to happen and my mental health, dh physical health (a recent health scare is what brought me to my senses) and dd's happiness are more important than endless peeing on sticks or recovering from mcs.

take care and seriously consider the fact that it might not happen.

I just want to say sorry to hear this . I'd second Lottie and say give some other clinics a try - I egg shared (and am pregnant after one round of IVF) at the Lister and I don't think you'd have to declare this application. I certainly wasn't asked if I'd applied before (but was asked if I'd have IVF before, but that's to try and determine how I'd respond to the stim drugs).

Am I right in assuming that this would have been the same hospital that mucked up your CS? I don't think I'd be able to go through IVF with the same hospital, but that's my personal opinion, particularly as your implantation issues mean you'd need more than "standard IVF" iykwim. You can conceive but need help maintaining a pregnancy, so I'd suggest trying a private clinic with experience of successfully treating women with more "complicated" infertility...which would most likely be a clinic that also understands issues around recurrent MC (ie more likely to say "no chromosome problems and botched CS = probable explanation for recurrent MC therefore fine to egg share".).

Sorry for the ramble but these are just my thoughts. I think Eleanora also has a valid suggestion but at the same time I think I'd personally find that easier if I had really exhausted all my other options.

Take care and good luck.

i am sorry to hear what has happened with reference to botched cs and rmc. since there is no issue about the health of your eggs have you thought of surrogacy? i know some people are not too keen on the idea but it is a thought.
but i would not give up on the ivf though just yet but you may find it hard to carry if your womb has been so badly damaged. it is an awful situation to be in and i really feel for you.

thank you all so much, we go back to see cons on the 21st so hopefully we will be able to speak to him directly about itr, maybre try to convince him. it was the same hospital that botched my cs, but tbh we've tried other clinics and they all seem to say the same thing, go on holiday, relax, theres nothing we can do. i want to be able to give up, i really do. i want to say enough now, move on. but i cant. weve been trying for too long and lost too much to just give up.

maybe we should try other clinics. but we cant afford to fund IVF on our own for a few years.

Surely you have little to lose from trying other clinics? I looked a several clinics before doing IVF, and I suspect that it is likely that they each work to different criteria.

sorry lizzie,don't know what else to say.

Sorry Lissie

thank you all, am still reeling a bit. obviously appointment for tuesday has been cancelled, but see him on 21st, so will discuss whether we have any options then

we have decided to speak to cons on the 21st and see if theres any arrangement we could come to, have spoken to a couple of alternative clinics and my rmc is a major issue. even though chromosone testing was all clear etc they cant take the risk hopefully we wont need it though

oh Lissie im sorry your going through all of this! I dont know what to say i really dont. Im thinking of you xx