Mid 30s TCC Gin Palace

[SkaterGrrrrl]

Welcome everyone from the old 'Mid 30s and TTC for the first time' thread. And welcome newbies too. Don't mind the poster in the corner dipping pregnancy test sticks into her glass of gin.

lol @ donttry Where are you arguing? Fancy a laugh..........

runs in, punches everyone and throws in some more booze cos it looks like everyone needs it.

I am reliably informed that tequila

a. makes you happy
b. is your get-out-of-jail-free card when you've started an argument ("It wasn't me, it was the tequila")
c. is readily available in shops

Maybe this entire thread needs a few slammers before wandering round the rest of mumsnet causing havoc?

I hear you all - no, really, I can here you from here! Raucus lot. Anyway - the teenage-preggo-on-the-bus has just as much of a right to treat her body any way she sees fit but somehow not caring about the STD risks seemed to me so sad and awful. Especially the bit where she couldn't risk not getting "a shag" off "some random" if she mentioned a condom. But then I guess we are the AIDS generation and got over our fear of condoms pdq. The paedo comments were so awful too, unnecessary and mindless. If I'm honest I don't really understand why someone like that wouldn't abort if she felt she was unable to curtail her lifestyle even to the extent of not having unprotected sex with strangers. But then maybe I am a bit Hate Mail after all. I don't know. I think there's a world of difference between judging when a pregnant lady has a coffee and judging when listening to that conversation. But then I probably would say that.

ps feel quite woozy over "retention" stories.

Oooh, count me out! I'm still a jibbering wreck recovering from my "hey, lets do tequila slammers" of 2 weeks ago.

I'm allergic to tequila.

It makes me fall over.

Here's something else for us all to get cat's bum about.

VAG We've just cycled home discussing that thread and I asked OH (whom some of you might recall is not long out of school) whether AIDS and condoms are synonymous and he said that yes, still drummed in to kids age 10/11 and their sex education at school included "most of you will get AIDS and die before you're 20".

Hi ladies,

Cannot keep up with this, so let me just send some serious manly slugs and a few bottles of gin (some of the good stuff...we need it) this way. Trig, I am sorry you are having to deal with this, but glad the doctor has listened to you and hope things resolve healthily for you. Do enjoy getting some time away. Pudding, so you are having a rough time too. Will be thinking of you (and stop worrying about talking about these things...if you cannot share this stuff with complete strangers like us, who could you share it with!?!)

Have just had my regular dose of birth control twin three-year-old-twin godchildren. I need a nap.

Haven't had a chance to look at the threads you ladies are discussing yet, am intrigued, however....

D'oh. Pudding, that was supposed to by "Sorry you are..." not "So you are".... Clearly the godchildren have taken their toll on me!

I don't want us to fight! I love you all too much!

I have just come back from Waitrose and have left a pakcet of rump steak behind, which I HAD PAID FOR!! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

LIFE WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO BE DONE DICKING ABOUT WITH MY SANITY YOU COCKSUCKING FUCKFACE

found it in the bottom of a carrier bag. Sorry, Life.

Nah trig don't apologise.okay so it wasn't Life's fault this time but only cos the cunty arse face was off fucking something else up...

Thank fuck my fucking swearing has bastard well come back.was proper worried for a while.

Thanks for all the slaps and punches,dead arms all round.

Have got the booze in and am contemplating getting a new tatoo.

Fuck shit wank!just realised it's BOD on Monday!it's that why my vag is trying to self-destruct???(on another thread I would add 'tmi' at that point but I'm not sure you lot actually have limits)

erm,can I still stay in the palace if I may not be able to shag for a while?am still in theory ttc,and if there was a miracle this week then could actually be pg...

There won't be a miracle tho.god hates me

it's fucking mutual I must say.

Wow, there's some SERIOUS testosterone or summat knocking round this thread today.

I read THAT post and had a good chuckle at the following:

"At least she was rolling her own, you have to give her some kudos for thriftyness; I bet she would have much preferred a Berkley menthol but is saving up to have her baby's ears pierced." [nuff respec' to StayFrosty, whom I do not believe we have had the pleasure of in the Lounge]

My views on THAT post are fairly mundane and very judgemental. What a little toad that madam is [returns to knitting].

...and in other news, you are actually contractually bound to reside in the Palace now pudding. So ner.

Sending you a firm shin-kick.

I'm trying to conceive through the medium of gin. This promotes a torpor in which babies are not carried for 9 months before trying to rip you in half, they are simply born at the age of 18 months.

Phew, think I managed to deflect a kicking on THAT thread (laurie - tis the one VAG directed us to earlier). ,,,ahhhh...

chunky you certainly may NOT leave

donttrythis, I would not say no to a Keeanu-Swazey sandwich!

I'm packing for this weekend's festival, everyone cross fingers for me to get knocked up in a tent!

Can we hotbox it?

Hi am mid 30's (34) ttc but not first third...am i allowed in?

Welcome, TheLady Skatergrrrrrl, let me tell you, it is very, erm, romantic PingOAS in a portaloo. I think the festival is a perfect place to conceive. It could give you a wealth of names to choose from too--you can use the name of the festival, the names of bands, the names of interesting substances used at the festival (isn't Mary Jane a pretty name? ) or names of the camping equipment.... Have a great time!

Sarah like portaloo?

Portaloo! Or maybe arse wipes? Oooh me like you! Welcome - you can joining chunky in regaling us with the horrors joys of actual real live children.