Mid 30s TCC Gin Palace

[SkaterGrrrrl]

Welcome everyone from the old 'Mid 30s and TTC for the first time' thread. And welcome newbies too. Don't mind the poster in the corner dipping pregnancy test sticks into her glass of gin.

In your own immortal words, pudding, tossbollocks. Hope you have a cheery day with the amusing child. I have Too Many Meetings and not enough time to work...which is obv why I'm killing time here and not doing said work.

FFS

Bloody bad science reporting. Older mothers are the spawn of Satan, or are having the spawn of Satan - I confuse easily.

Where's Ben Goldacre when you need him? Huh?

ski I am from Lancashire originally, but live in Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaandon Taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnn.

Have peed on a stick, Got a Zwagger 2-3 Weeken despite having got rid of the main event yesterday, done my Wii Personal Trainer and am now off to have my hair 'done' by my stepdaughter who is doing her colourist trade test today

Wish me luck

Gah re peeing on stick/main event things, trig. Is horrible and nasty. But fingers crossed highlights are fun..

trig I got +ve on Sunday and -ve on Monday... maybe it's going to take a little longer for yours to change as you were a little further than me I think.

I'm sitting here in my DailyMailMaskOfHate because Katie Price has been enjoying a social life. How dare she? Why the hell isn't she entertaining her kids at 2am? What is the world coming to when a mother doesn't sit at home KNITTING? The bitch!

Well get me all grown up, I went to the GP. Lovely, crazy Italian woman who told me that humans are the worst species at reproduction .

I resisted the urge to giggle / slap her for being rude when she asked how often we have sex. Is it wrong to increase the amount a bit?

Anyway, she's told me to have blood test 7 days prior to next period. Given me the necessary paperwork to produce to phlebot... blood nurse thingy. Trouble is, since coming off the pill my cycles have ranged from 29 days to 44 days - ARGH!

She's also said to get DP in to chat about sperm count . He's going to love that one. We're out for dinner with friends tonight so I'm thinking that's the perfect opportunity to tell him he needs to talk sperm with the lovely Italian GP.

She's also going to write letter of referral to Fertility Clinic - hell, that sounds scary. And real. Then assured me that the last person she did this with was already up the duff by the time their appointment came through!!!! Once again with the scary & real mallarkey.

Sorry this is a bit me, me, me. I thought by writing it all down it may calm me down. Nope.

Manly back slaps all round, x

laurie How long had you been trying before you went to see the GP? I went to whine yesterday, and got looked at as if I was mad, while yours sounds all nice and proactive. Can't help thinking that testing will help with my control freak tendancies - keep having this horrible vision of trying for a year, being allowed testing and discovering that we might as well have not bothered.

Well I stopped taking the pill 2 years ago. But used condoms for a few months when the chance of a holiday to Las Vegas came up .

Then things went a bit bonkers last year when my grand-dad died, & I had a fall downstairs breaking my wrist. The A-Game was NOT at the forefront of my mind.

If I'm honest too I avoided fertile time of the month for a couple of months too.

So all things considered I class ourselves as actively trying for about 1 year.

Plus I'm nearly 37. 2 whole years passed offical ovary shrivel age.

GP was lovely, thankfully.

ideal what's your stats? And what a nightmare that GP wasn't helpful.

Good work laurie - respec'. I'm not man enough to do this so would doff my hat were I to be sporting one.

Oh go on vag honestly if I can do it, anyone can.

Something seems to have snapped lately & I've become obsessed about having a baby. Sorry to go on but the age thing doesn't help & I'm not very good at failing at things. Bit unstable really!! Perfect!!

DP just emailled (another busy day in both our offices) & when I said I'd been to docs he asked what for and was I OK . Bloody idiot. Obviously I had mentioned it.

Actually, I think it would make total sense for docs to recommend getting bloods/sperm tests done much earlier in the process - how long does it take, anyway? Two lots of two-minute blood tests and a good half hour for the spunk jar, of course. Then you'd KNOW if there was anything up, and any treatment could be started before any more ovary-shrivelling time was wasted. I know they're focused on the biological/medical side of conception, but I don't think they really address the emotional rollercoaster even sentient non-fluffy women get on - the pressure to perform, the symptom spotting, the strain it can put on the happiest relationships after a few months of POAFS. By the time most of us head to the doctors after a whole year of nothing doing, that irritating 'just relax and have gourmet sex five times a week' advice is enough to make you inappropriately sharp. Unless you're going to set to with a turkey baster and cut out the middle man, if the emotional side of things is rogered, then you're... er, not.

It's the swinging thing again, isn't it? Am trying to remind myself that am equally cool about not having kids, but is very hard to explain to people (like my m-i-l, friends, etc) who had the decision made for them by 'happy accidents' that there's a sense of secret blame attached to all this. Is not like weighing up whether to go to Florida this year, or next year.

VAG I've had both my blood tests and an internal scan done, and I think everything's fine - honestly, it's worth doing, and you'll feel like you've made your concession to medical advice. Now they just have to explain how to develop a new relationship with 150% more bedroom action.

wildfig, I think I love you. You've just expressed all the things I've been thinking, but in complete and funny sentences rather than just fuckarsebollocksgah which seems to have become a mantra.

laurie We've been trying for 7 months, not actively enough to be really worried and was on the pill, which definitely has an effect, I don't care what the GP has claimed to me about being completely restored to fertility the moment you stop popping the lovely hormones. I'm not anxious, per se, I'd just like to know if it's possible. Because I am a controlly beeatch.

I am rocking with mirth here at the Daily Mail's "ho my god girls kiss and it's dangerous" direction today. Christ on a bike what would they make of us and our secret strap-on list?

On the first page here, the lady with the chickens and 412 kids who lived in a shoe said she'd checked her hubbies sperm under a microscope she picked up at a car boot sale.

I agree, it's really frustrating not knowing and it does seem daft to have to wait. Our visit to the clinc showed I was ovulating and nothing obvious out of place (dildocam). She inspected his equipment (complete with dog hair ) and said she'd do a spunk test now, or we could wait until the "12 months". We opted not to find out at the time... and low and behold he impregnated me. So at least he's not a jaffa eh? (I did indeed say this and punch him the shoulder - thanks trig - a new trend!)

I do agree that the pill has an effect. I took the morning-after pill last july and I think it had a massive effect on me - and also really made the desire kick in.

dildocam! brilliant. Had that for completely unrelated medical thingy and it was the most disconcerting medical procdure ever-in-the-history-of-ever.

And with epic timing, my company has just sent round an email advertising an internal vacancy...

remember, once you have passed the BoD the docs will start the tests rolling after 6 months, not a year.

I do agree though, it makes sense to get these things checked out as soon as you can.

As for the pill having an effect - well 6 months after taking it, only had 2 periods, current cycle is day 20 and my temps are so all over the place I have no idea what is going on, so yeah I think it's fair to say it has an effect!!

I'm the freak who has already had day 21 bloods, rubella testing, and an ultrasound, and made DH spunk in a jar, even though we've never so much as had sex without contracption, let alone been actively TTC!

Partly it's because I've got a smidgen of PCOS, partly it's because it makes me feel like I'm taking control of something very scary, partly it's helping me to procrastinate still further on something very scary, and partly it's because my GP and gynae are cool.

Agree with wildfig, what's the point in wasting more and more of our ancient eggs, why not just find out the score upfront?
So go on, VAG, it's your turn to be prodded!

Also agree with camel/ski/cosmo - I stopped taking the pill nearly 2 years ago, I reckon it took a year for my body to right itself. I know that the drug itself gets out of your system quickly, but it seemed to leave my ovaries totally bewildered!

ski That's it! The secret strap-on list is the reason we're not getting pregnant! Not only are we too old, we are also secretly degenerate, and our bodies are protecting our unborn babies from ourselves. Quick, ring Liz Jones and get the Daily Hate feature commissioned...

Ideal you're v kind, but do not be impressed by that little outburst. I trot it every six weeks. My pet hate is child-doctors who tell you you're not having enough sex. The phrase 'I'll be the judge of that' is never far from my lips. (Even though I know they're right.)

VAM We're not waitrose stalkers after all! Have just ventured down Northcote Road in search of hot weather clothes and seen the massive new Waitrose there. I meant the Bal-ham one. Have you been in the Jamie Oliver deli?! Blimey.

Also, where are the simple summer dresses of our distant youth? Am I getting old, or is there nothing nice in the shops right now? Everything is obscenely short, and I don't do leggings. I want to disguise my prop-forward thighs, not highlight them in black marker pen, goddammit.

continental lushes we are dying here. Seriously. Dying. London is like a sauna with pigeons.

Amen frig It's vicious hot.

Stepdaughter passed her trades test so we have champagne tonight woooooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooo

Think I've had an epiphany. I was musing today on all things baby related (and I was thinking for me how getting pregant actually seems to be a method of birth control, bizarrely) and then it struck me. I don't really want to have a baby. I like the idea of it, and now it seems like a bit of a challenge to be overcome I feel quite motivated. But like when our newbies said they have real babies and we are/I am like that's like a real person that needs looking after and stuff - I will be the one whose kids yells blue murder in Tescos Waitrose and receives looks that could kill. I don't want to do it anymore I don't I don't

Aaaw fuck trig am so sorry I made you feel like that.

2 things-

thing número uno - when I had my boy I can genuinely,hand on heart say that it was NOT how other mothers made me think it would be. It wasn't love at first sight (tho I would have done anything to protect him) Both me and ds were fucking shocked at how our lives became all about this creature that fed slept cried fed slept cried and to be honest I was scared shitless. Also the sleep thing was hideous. They use sleep deprivation for torture you know!

BUT (god I hope you are actually still reading this)

número dos - my beautiful,bonkers,utterly wonderful son is now 17 months old.he is the BEST feckin thing I have ever done and I love him more than I ever thought I was capable of loving.if I am sad or hurt he runs to me to 'kiss better'.when I had a hideous mc at 12 weeks recently he was the reason I got out of bed in the morning. I BLEEDIN LOVE IM.

Sorry so . But true.and dp,who was worse than me cos inherently more of a selfish bastard,utterly adores the boy.

Yes he is still hard work,yes I find strange gunk in my hair,yes there are tantrums,yes there are times I miss being a full time party pisshead.

But,umm,you know,the love thing.it's pretty cool.

This continentalbitch is sweating buckets. It's 30 odd and the front of my house is made entirely from glass. I come out of my lovely airco nipple non-friendly office to this. I'm just back from the stables where the sweat dripped from me. Yesterday in my gym class the sweat was dripping from my ears. Trust me, I know where you're coming from.

I grew up in London and I remember those summer nights where it was impossible to sleep until the early hours. But no, not glad I left!

I've had a bollocks week:

• mc
• car insurance people phoned today to ask why I hadn't paid them. Because I'm skint innit.
• fucking horse has a small infection behind her ears from sweat
• put the horse up for sale and someone has offered me a VERY low offer - on the other hand, a cracking home - so I don't know what to do
• I have a work do on friday x 10000000

laurie hooray, you did it!

I went to the GP straight away and lied that I'd been trying for over a year - that way they can't refuse you the tests.

idealcamel that article What a load a shite! "Doctors speculate it's the shrivelled ovaries of aged crones causes autism". Speculate up your bums arsewipes!!
Soooo irresponsible.

Yesit is bloody, bloody hot here in London. I am grateful for our basement garden flat today.... This warm weather is making A game less appealing, although my little monitor says I am at "high" (meaning there is estrogen in my pee) fertility. ("Peak" means lutenising hormone and ovulationnot there yet, but thought I might as well store some!)

Wildfig, I completely agree about the utter unacceptability of dresses these days. I went shopping today for some cute sundresses. They were all prom dresses. Yeah. Right. GRRRRRR!

Cosmo--tell me more: will the NHS really start seeing over-35s after six months of trying? (How thrilling. Finally worth the effort of being 36.) There is hope.

Trigger and ski, it sounds like you are both having sucky days. Hang in there, ladies. Drink some G & Ts (or Pims if you must) and try to stay cool.

Ski about your horse's ears and the horse's arses at the insurance company. You are a beacon of gym bunniness though - in this heat! The dedication of you!

sarah yes, if you're over 35, you only have to have been trying 6 months before they test your egg box. It's your ageing body, you see - they don't want to put you through another six months' energetic A-game if they can help it. Babies are one thing, crones with carpet burns and herniated husbands are far more expensive to treat. (Joke. I say that because I made the mistake of posting on an AIBU thread without flagging up my extreme sarcasm. Never again.)

Dress situation is grim. I ended up with a wrapover thing from FatFace. Fatface! At my age! Am fighting the Boden impulse hard. They cut 'very narrow', I have decided, not that I've put on weight oh no.

trig what colour highlights did you go for? I bet you look FABulous. Useful thing to have around the house, a personal stylist.

Morning gin-swigging lushes.

Bloody hell, its hot! And I live on the Welsh coast - hardly renown for high temps.

I think I know where DP & I are going wrong..... We went to bed early on Monday - then proceeded to lie naked with the windows open, complaining about the heat, watching the Andy Murray match, me complaining TV was blurry & borrowing a pair of DP's glasses! I asked him when did we turn so middle aged?

The A- Game didn't happen, but the tennis was great!