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Conception

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Feisty & Fabulous at 40+ - the continuing adventures of TTC

1001 replies

fruitbowl · 24/04/2009 20:32

Erm hope this will do as a continuation thread. Hello to anyone new to the thread. All welcome... xx

OP posts:
fruitbowl · 19/05/2009 21:06

Hi everyone!

Good luck with the birth cece! Only on MN could you say "good news with the brown blood" and no-one bat an eyelid!!

So Rowing erm good news with the brown blood. Everything crossed for the testing love.

Catsmother I hope the symptom spotting insanity hasn't completely sent you over the edge - we so understand! So many months I've been convincing myself that the start of AF is actually impantation bleeding. Fingers crossed for you though! Keep us posted.

Cheers for the tip eviesG - what a result!

Kiwikat - 4 eggs? 4 babies? 4 week wait? Aggghh! Keep us posted!

A work colleague announced to a big group of us that she's pg today and that she's not that happy about it. She's not even 12 weeks yet. I double-sighed - ohhhh to have the certainty that all will proceed healthily and a second ohhhh that the baby was not desperately wanted. Doesn't seem fair does it girls?

x

OP posts:
dixie64 · 20/05/2009 11:07

Hi all
Hope everyone is okay, Rowing hope you're well - did you test?
x

spiralqueen · 20/05/2009 14:34

jardins wow - many congratulations

  • things are looking up around here for people at the moment - long may it continue....
fifitot · 20/05/2009 17:56

Any news Rowing?

rowingboat · 21/05/2009 00:04

Hi all,
bad news I'm afraid - I tested on Monday and again this morning and it was negative.
I'm not very surprised after bleeding for so long, but I don't know what to feel now. It was such hard work: the planning, the travel, the drugs, the procedure so it's sad for us.
It's also a relief to have an answer so that I can do normal things again.
On the other hand we do have two embryos over in Budapest and we have our name back on the waiting list for the local IVF clinic having scraped together enough for one more go, so it's not over yet.
Poor little embryos!
I am looking forward to having simpler, more straight-forward treatment next time.
Kiwi, the four follicles are great news, still life in the funny, flightless bird yet eh!

fifitot · 21/05/2009 07:01

Awwwwww Rowing....virtual hugs. So sorry.

vonsudenfed · 21/05/2009 09:25

Rowing, so, so sorry to hear that. Another ((((hug)))) from me.

spiralqueen · 21/05/2009 09:50

((((hugs)))) from me too Rowing. Why did I open my big mouth on my last post?

Take care of yourselves and enjoy doing the normal stuff for a bit.

rowingboat · 21/05/2009 12:23

Thank you Fifi, VSF and Spiral!
It's nice to have support on here, I'm not really discussing the whole TTC thing in RL, so it's good to be able to 'talk' on here.

dixie64 · 21/05/2009 12:49

virtual hugs coming your way Rowing - take good care of yourself x

beamel · 21/05/2009 15:31

So sorry rowing more (((hugs))) coming your way.
You must be exhausted ! Take care of yourself xx

catsmother · 21/05/2009 18:14

I am so so sorry Rowing ..... and I wish I could say something more than that which would take away your pain and disappointment.

fifitot · 22/05/2009 08:24

Well i'm at the BD stage for this month I think starting tonight (have to do an OPK to be sure).

Decided this will be last active attempt to get pg as am 46 this month (aaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!) and really it's just a bid mad of me to think I am going to have another baby.

I am full of regret of course but have a beautiful DD so maybe need to focus on enjoying her more and stop obsessing about TTC. Anyway will give it another go but am coming to the end of my tether now.

Feel OK though, not really down about it. Just a little bit of sadness in the background that I guess will never go away, just a feeling of unfinished business I guess.

Anyway fingers crossed for one last try and baby dust to all of us!

gonepearshaped · 22/05/2009 08:32

Rowing, just wanted to say I'm so sorry, more (((hugs))) from me too, I know you aren't talking about this in RL but I hope you're being looked after.

dixie64 · 22/05/2009 09:59

Good luck fifi - sending an extra bucket of babydust your way. I know what you mean though, I'm 45 in October and think this should be my last attempt, I'm sort of resigned to it too and feel that same sadness - so whilst we give it our best go again atleast we know we're not alone.
x

fifitot · 22/05/2009 12:57

Thanks Dixie.

I just think it's significant that the sucesses on this thread are with the 40/41 year olds. I don't know of any my age in the past.....so it just set me thinking.

Rockdoctor · 22/05/2009 13:18

Rowing, just wanted to add my support and thoughts and ((hugs)) to everyone else's. Hope you're getting the support you need and look after yourself.

Dixie and Fifi, I know exactly how you feel. It all seemed so easy when I had DD (at 42), it didn't occur to me that my fertility would fall off a cliff within six months - well, that's what seems to have happened. We'll keep trying but as Fifi said I really should focus on what I've got rather than what might be.

spiralqueen · 22/05/2009 13:27

Hi Fifi & Dixie - I was thinking the same thing myself. It does seem to be the youngsters in the group who are having the success although I guess that shouldn't come as a surprise. Off to the GP this afternoon to talk about referral to the infertility clinic so will report back what they say given that I'm the oldest in our group.

Off away for a week so don't think I'll have email contact - am going to miss reading everyone's news. Take care of yourselves everyone [wafting babydust around and waving]

StarPlayer · 22/05/2009 14:33

Rowing ((hugs)) for you

XSS

dixie64 · 22/05/2009 22:10

On a positive notes for us ladies of "ripe but not yet mature " years - a friend of mine had his vasectomy reversed last year at the age of 45 and has successfully conceived with his new wife and she is 44 and this is her first baby due in June! Also another forum I visit I posted asking for the oldest natural conception and have had quite a few responses - so far the oldest completely natural was 47! So while I know we contemplate giving up there may still be a glimmer of hope!
love and hugs all.
x

dixie64 · 22/05/2009 22:11

Forgot to say - have a lovely week away Spiral x

fifitot · 23/05/2009 13:09

Thanks for that Dixie. Maybe we will all become medical marvels!

rowingboat · 23/05/2009 17:59

Hi everyone,
that is a very positive story Dixie.
Spiral, are you still here? What happened at the fertility appointment? [interested face]
I'm being a great big lump at the moment and doing a bit of research for the future.
The poor old doctor at the clinic hadn't emailed me back when I emailed him with the negative test info. Turns out he has been in hospital, oh dear, he did seem to work a lot of days (like everyday).
He reckons I could go back and do the frozen embryo transfer naturally, after ovulation. I'm thinking, 'hmmm, so when would that be??' Not much happening at the moment, and I don't know how long it takes to get AF, or if that was AF. Have to go and look at FF to see when I had my last period.

catsmother · 24/05/2009 19:30

Well, despite my stupid (desperate) fanciful ideas that slight spotting on CD23, 24 & 25 just might have been implantation bleeding (as .... I got my period with a vengeance yesterday. CD28 so nothing unusual there but why the hell does mother nature have to torture us like this ??

It's hard to be absolutely certain because I never used to obsess, but I'm pretty sure I never used to get this inconvient, raising-hopes type "bits & bobs" of blood prior to coming on before ...... it always used to strike me that I'd go to the loo around the expected time, and there it'd be. Similarly, I never noticed sore boobs previously, but, this time, it's actually been hurting me to lay on my front.

It's hard to explain (but I'm hoping this is the place to do so without causing offence or sounding mad) but I feel so angry right now, more than ever before. This weekend is a year since we decided to try so I suppose that "milestone" has something to do with how upset I am. I feel furious with my body (and am similarly feeling old, useless, unattractive and stupid), and the world in general and very very maudling. I have burst into tears countless times the last couple of days, all sorts of things have set me off and have had no end of sniping and bickering with DP which is probably all my fault for being so sensitive. All of a sudden (last few days) I have been feeling extraordinarily insecure, fragile and panicky.

I am raging at "fate" right now ........ I very much doubt any of us have waited all this time due to arrogance in believing we'd have no problem at our age. I expect we are all here, right now, because we never got the opportunity, for a whole host of reasons, to plan our babies when we were younger (and were too decent to "accidentally" fall pregnant. Though shamefully, now, I wish I had). I feel so jealous and resentful of women who've had that choice and whose lives have gone according to plan ( and yes, I know that makes me sound like a bitter harpie ..... especially as I have 2 children, and am therefore infinitely better off than the poor women who have none ...... but then again, a nasty, petulant little voice inside of me keeps protesting at all the women I personally know (never mind on Mumsnet) who have 3 children or more ..... like, "they did it, why can't I?").

I've been pregnant twice in the last year and lost them both. I "should" either have had a newborn right about now, or alternatively, I "should" now be looking forward to an arrival in about 7-8 weeks time.

I feel so empty, and this is so bloody bloody hard. Please everyone, forgive me for being so "down" - but I need to get it out and I can't talk to anyone about this. I don't expect any replies, but am hoping that at least 1 or 2 of you might be able to understand how I feel and reassure me I'm not going mad (though I wouldn't wish this on anyone else of course).

catsmother · 24/05/2009 19:33

** (Meant to say, in my 1st para: (.... as I got with my last 2 pregnancies)

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