Feisty & Fabulous at 40+ - the continuing adventures of TTC

[fruitbowl]

Erm hope this will do as a continuation thread. Hello to anyone new to the thread. All welcome... xx

Hope everyone doesn't mind me joining in too?

When I saw luckywebby's message re VR, I wanted to offer some encouragement. My DP's post-VR test result showed him to be 5 times more fertile than the average man - and he's 48 - so VR can be extremely successful. Fingers crossed it works out well for you too.

I've been reading this thread with a great deal of interest having just had my Mirena IUS removed at age 44 to TTC#2 (I had my DD when I was 40, by a previous partner). I felt more than a tad ridiculous asking for it to be removed so that I could TTC, at my age! The doctors agreed the chances were very slim but didn't make me feel stupid for wanting to try.

I do appreciate how incredibly lucky I am with regard to my DP's fertility (and in having my DD) and hope that this will be enough to compensate for eggs that are far from "Farm Fresh" and need all the help they can get! If it doesn't work, it doesn't work but at least we'll know we've tried.

Great to see some newbies, and to see those ttc after a VR. Charlie is my post VR baby at the ripe old age of 41 and after 7 months of ttc, so there's definately a chance for you.

According to my reading (and I have probably done far too much!) although our eggs have been in storage for a long time, we can help them along by being super healthy taking all the supplements etc. I read (from several different sources) that it takes 4 months to mature an egg and in that time we can give them a bit of help.

My optomism for this cycle has gone into recession. I no longer feel any symptoms, my temperature is down and I'm not even sure I ovulated.I think I have a faulty thermometer as it has several different readings each morning, and the last two temperatures have been low. i did have quite a bit of cramping yesterday which felt like pre-AF grumbles, but maybe I had wind???
If you want to peruse my chart, its www.fertilityfriend.com/home/186327.
I just don't know what to think so will try not to think about it too much.
Have any of you got pregnant whilst breastfeeding?I ask because I don't have any breast discomfort, so wonder if it's because I'm feeding?Or maybe I'm annovulatory?
I guess it's a case of wait and see, which is doing my head in!

Hi Luckywebby & Frosticle - another positive tale to add to the post VR, my cousin was 50 when he had his done, now has DD 5 & DS2! Go for it.
Angi sorry to hear you're not feeling v hopeful, I'm on a complete up and down - normally i'd say I'm pre menstrual but it's still 4 days before I'm due! Acupuncture today, my pulses are very good and back to 'normal' now post MC, today different needles to supplement my own energies which is a good thing apparently. De-stressed me anyway.
Rowing & Summer - hope you're both feeling as good as you can do
Summer, when you're feeling up for it def still on for a coffee.
4 days to go.......xx

Thanks for the messages of encouragement. As i said before I'm keeping everything crossed.
Just wondering how long your DH had their VR after their original op.
My DH was 13 years ago which adds to the decrease in %.
Frosticle - both my doctors were great when we told them about wanting another baby at 40 (me) and 45 (DH) in fact both said they had had their children later in life. I though they would look at me as if I had two heads but were very supportive and gave advice regarding starting to take supplements and going back to see them if things don't happen soon after the VR has been done for deferal to the gyne unit.
Just got to get my mind off the op and on to the fact that this is the first step to what we really want.
X

Hi everyone,
Summer sorry! I just want to say I know how you feel - that's empathy, not sympathy.
Kiwi I'm not a vicar - I hope. Are you having hot flushes?

Cor, flipping 'eck VSF that's a long name. May I call you 6WW, sounds like a very agonising version of the 2WW. The thought! It's lovely, lovely to hear from you (have I become Welsh). Quite right, eating oysters and enjoying yourself!

Yes where is Fruit?

Sorry for disappearance, my pooter has blown-up and DP won't let me on his. I have sneaked on whilst he is out. [chuckle] Hope I don't download a virus then I will be in trouble. I put his mobile in the washing machine the other night. Ooops!

Hi new Peeps, your are most welcome here, please can we have a BFP! VR sounds very promising.

Sorry have to dash off to throw small boy into bed. Hugs to all of you, you lovely things.

Speak again soon.
Feeling OK, quite nice day today, very busy and sunshine, nods!

Frosty I had my mirena coil removed back in July. And I also felt a tad silly asking for it to be taken out (I'm 43). My doc is sooo lovely. She said I wasn't daft at all and she didn't seem to think it was an impossible dream. I certainly didn't get the feeling she was humouring me.

I have endometriosis, meaning every proper period I have gets more and more painful - so DH and I are hoping we'll be really lucky and it will work quickly. If it doesn't I'll have to go and get another Mirena put back in and admit defeat but I wont think about that now

I'm just under a week away from AF and my temp is still 37.4 - 37.5 every morning so I'm hopeful. I fell pregnant really quickly both times before (despite the endo) but I was younger then. Argghh why can't we all have 21 year old bods just for a while

Hi, I've popped in a couple of times but have been quiet recently as we've not been TTC for the last few months as DP on nights and DD2 having such bad eczema that I rarely get a night's sleep and so had convinced myself that I couldn't cope with another one! Deep down though I would still love one more little one so I am going to come back and join you all if that's ok.

Hi again, it has been a while since I was here, but need some advice.

I am wondering if any of you have any suggestions for anything to do in the case of repeated miscarriage due to aged eggs! I have had 4 early miscarriages in the last year, and wondering if I could be doing anything to try to improve chances of holding onto a pregnancy?

Ah - I thought it would be surprising if you were a vicar, Rowing. No reason, you just didn't strike me as vicarish, whatever that is.

Hello newbies, come and join the rollercoaster that is 40+ ttc - we're a friendly bunvch.

Luckywebby, my DH had his reversal 7 years after the original vasectomy.
Don't worry I have heard many success stories long after 10 years til reversal.

There is a really good forum that I go to which has a lot of information:vrsupportgroup.proboards.com/index.cgi

I gave my DH heaps of suggested supplements before the VR(and after), especially vitamin C 1000mg per day as that is supposed to help with healing. Vit E should help with scarring, so take that after the op (not before as it can cause bleeding).I also heard pycnogenol is great for healing, then there's zinc,CO q 10, L-arginine (found in red meat) and I am sure there are others, but I can't recall.Be sure to get the sperm analysis done at the earliest recommended time, because if scarring occurs it can be reversed with anti-inflammitories early on (though our urologist thought it was a load of old cobblers!luckily we didn't have any issues).

As for me and this weird cycle - yesterday I decide to do a preg test as I was supposedly 9 dpo, but who really knows(!!), and so I poas, one of the blue dye cross sticks.What a silly woman I am, I know those test can be ambiguous.I got a very faint line.I even showed my sister who could also see it.So I repeated the test (same type and an internet cheapie) this am.It was BFN.I should know better.My temp is low too, so I am not holding out any hope.

For someone who isn't really TTC I feel quite sad. It is silly and I wish I could just ignore myself.I certainly didn't expect to go through this rollercoaster again...

Good luck to everyone else.

I have been recommended Senatogen supplements for DH to take which are designed for dads to be. Hope they can give the little swimmers a boast once they are allowed out.
Angifi - just a little question for yo as you seem to be the only other poster whos DP has had VR. How long after the op did you bd. I have looked at several different sites and they have conflicting answers. Hope you don't mind me asking. .
Sorry to hear that the result was a BFN.
Fingers crossed that someone will have a BFP before two long.

Thank you everyone for the warm welcome, encouragement and support! Feels really great - you're all very kind - and how much more fun it is to be going through all this with others.

When I had the IUS removed the doctor did say that as I have a child already we at least know everything else works - eggs being willing! I was incredibly lucky in conceiving my daughter at age 39 - it happened in the first month - so I am hoping there is some chance for me but I also have to be realistic as I'm so much older now. If it doesn't work I'll get another Mirena put in and just be grateful for what I already have. BUT I'm still hoping!!

I do know someone who had her first child at 45. The doctors had told her she was unlikely to be able to conceive then they said she would almost certianly MC etc, etc but she just remained positive and produced a beautiful little girl now aged 5. There's hope for us all.

Good luck for next week Hippychick! Yes, please can we have a bfp!

Hi, I've not been on this thread much but wanted some advice so here i am back again. I'm 42 (43 soon!). Got one DS (4) conceived on the very first try age 38. Been trying for three months now, using Clearblue Fertility Monitor. No joy.
I know it's only three months, but as time is of the essence i thought I'd get advice on what I can do at the doctors to check myself out and make sure I'm all in working order (and Dh too i guess). Are there tests I can ask for? What else can i do to give myself the best chance of conceiving? Can i go to a fetility clinic? What do they do? Sorry to be so ignorant. i do scan this thread but there's so much info it gets confusing.

Hi - just wanted to pop on again and respond to rainbowdays. I don't have any answers but I know exactly what you are going through.

Rowing may have some pointers, I seem to remember her mentioning something about making sure you are getting enough protein in your diet. I have also read that it takes about 3 months to make an egg so what you do now is investment for three months' time.

Hello and babydust to all, especially the newbies.

Hi, back home again, to the land of nurseries and time to actually read MN postings!

Rowing, really really sorry it didn't work this time. If getting pregnant was just a matter of being positive i think you'd have 6 kids by now.
Kiwi, sorry we couldn't get together but never mind. My dd probably wouldn't have let us finish many sentences anyway...!

I'm on another month of ttc "au natural" with not a drug in sight (only because i haven't had the chance to beg any off the nearest health professional). Am unconvinced but being on cd 9 am trying to kid myself that i'm thinking positively! OH being quite smug as he finally did a sperm test and got the result "good", category B. He didn't exactly say the words "so it's not me..." but almost.

Hi guys. Well I went a bit loopy this morning and decided to do an early response test with my 1st wee of the day. It was a daft thing to do cos I'm only at day 24 and of course I got a BFN I know it doesn't mean anything definite and it was a bit of a pointless thing to do, but I just got a bit excited about the whole ttc thing. Anyway I know 'it aint over til the fat lady sings', so I'm still hoping AF wont turn up. I just wanted to have a little secret to take to work with me

Hello everyone and newbies. I'm still here on and off and still ttc of course, though I know it's probably a waste of time.

Suffering from really sore bbs this month, around ovulation????? So know it's not because I am pg. Probably menopausal stuff going on knowing my luck!

Good luck to all of us and hippy chick hope you get your wish!

Thanks Fifi. Don't you just hate being a woman sometimes???? Sore boobs, cramps, twinges here and there - they can mean anything. They can mean 'it's all going well' and they can mean 'it's all gone to cr*p'.

And us poor novices can only sit and guess what the heck it all means.

Hi to all those who are nearing the end of the agonising 2WW. Lets get some news soon please!

Peasoup I'm just starting the fertility clinic route (at 46). The GP referred me - you just need to ask them to do that for you. With us they insisted on DH and I going together to the 1st appointment. They talked at length about how long we had been trying, how often we had sex and about how easily we had conceived DD. They then went through each of our fertility histories in turn. (had we had children with other people, past fertility issues etc).

Then we got sent away to have tests. DH had to do a sperm sample and I had to have blood tests on day 2 and day 21 of my cycle, a chlamdyia test, hycosy test (waiting for that but basically it tests for any problems with your tubes I believe). Trying to get the hycosy as there is a long waiting list. Once that's done it's back to the clinic to review the results and see what the options are.

The strong advice from the consultant at our first visit was to avoid using ovulation sticks, doing temps or any other charting as it lessens your chances of conceiving. (Down to the fact that the tests are unreliable and they add more pressure to ttc which is counterproductive) They said the most successful way to conceive was by having sex 3x a week throughout your cycle (apart from when AF is visiting).

Hope that helps - good luck

Good morning everyone(well it is morning here!)Well, no more ambiguous tests, they are most definately,obviously NEGATIVE! Wish I didn't get all hopeful.So silly! I think my body is experienceing a lot of hormonal upset,probably due to the fact that I haven't had my first postpartum AF. LAst night I gagged on my toothbrush and felt like I could vomit, which is exactly like when I am pregnant,but my temperatures just aren't high enough in my opinion, and at 11 dpo I would usually get at least a faint line....So that's that.I hope AF turns up on the weekend and I can have proper cycles again.
Luckywebby, our urologist suggest DH stay away from ejaculation for 3 weeks - 21 days.We managed 18! I know of people who only lasted a week, and I guess it depends on his level of comfort, but we tried really hard to abstain because I really wanted the reversal to work.What you do in the early days post op can make a difference.You really want to avoid any inflammation if possible. I had some strong painkillers, with codeine to help DH through the firat few days.They really helped. The pain is worse than the actually vasectomy, but quite managable.My Dh took a week off work and put his feet up for a few days.We had to tell the kids he'd hurt his back! I just didn't want to explain it all to the kids.
Oh please can someone get a n1ce bfp soon?

Oh, someone was asking about repeat miscarriages.I haven't been there and don't know much about it, but have heard that getting progesterone checked out is a good idea, and sometimes clotting is a factor and a baby asperin can help.

Gotto run, Charlie has a stinky nappy!

Thanks Spiralqueen for all that info re. fertility clinic. I wonder how long the wait is; hopefully not long! As the months progress I feel more and more sure that i REALLY want another baby. At this stage I think I'll try everything, even if we end up at IVF I'll try it. Was a bit ambiguous before as to how badly i wanted this, but now I know for sure. I think it's the trying and not succeeding (even though only three months!) that makes me realise how I truley feel. Am SOOO broody. 43 in three months time!!!

HI Everyone
My isn't it busy I can't quite keep up, must be back to school time and we've all got a bit more time on our hands (well I have anyway)
Muchlove I read that for the 3 mnths following MC we are more fertile as pregnancy hormones are still circulating. Clover tea sounds interesting were did you get it from?
Oh B*M have to go DD back will try to get on again later.

Hey lovely ladies
Do you think maybe we should do another rollcall so we can see where we are in cycles?
Hey Summer - I ordered the red clover tea online its organic red clover with peppermint I read somewhere that it was a definate secret weapon to aid fertility (tho its used to treat the symptoms of menopause) but I think it contains oestrogens I suppose the same way as soya is suppose to help aswell. But the best way to take it is in tea form and I think you have to take for about 3mnths for effects to kick in, I took it for 2mnths. If you just type it in google it will come up xx
Hey Spiral I've heard that as well not to do temps n OPKs but I have kinda got hooked now there's no turning back .. heeeeelllp
Has anyone read the book Take Control of you Fertility well the author of that book very much advocates the use of temp charts as she believes this can tell us all we need to know bout our cycles
I am 7dpo now and totally symptom spotting its just ridiculous ......

xx

Hi everyone, just need a little rant if you don't mind - I am going out tonight with friends - 1 dd 4 months, 1 dd 3 months, 1 due next week, 1 due jan 2010 1 due March 2010 - I feel really left out already, because with the best will in the world even tho you've had a baby, it's so much fun discussing baby/pregnancy with those in the same boat. And I ain't in that boat altho if I hadn't had MC in April I would IYSWIM. So while I love them all dearly, I also want to run away and cry a bit. Still at least I can have a glass of wine, and it's only 2 days 'til WOD or BFP.......
Thank you for letting me rant I feel much better now!
BTW Hippychick are you going to wait now to see if AF appears, or do another test..?!

Dilemma I totally feel your pain, it is so hard. At the moment I am being very jealous of people on the same IVF forum as me whom have had a BFP from their treatment. I'm just soooo cross!! What is that about! At least we have this place to vent and we all understand how frustrating it is for you.
Having said that you will probably find that when you see your friends you will feel a lot less of the angst that you do just thinking about meeting them. Or at least I find that the reality is mostly better than my ridiculous imagination. Hope it all goes well and fingers crossed for BFP!
Much hello, I like to see a woman who takes loads of herbal remedies. Keep Holland and Barett is business, just like me!
Angi you are having a very confusing time there with the BFP and BFNs, poor you! I hope AF turns up soon and things get back on track.
Rock hii how are you?
We received a 'sorry' letter from our hospital with an appointment date of November 9th. That seems quite a long time to me. Might phone up and see if I can move that back a bit into October....
Hi to all