Feisty & Fabulous at 40+ - the continuing adventures of TTC

[fruitbowl]

Erm hope this will do as a continuation thread. Hello to anyone new to the thread. All welcome... xx

Take that! Wow! Lucky you, will you have your lighter up in the air for 'I want you back for good'?
About the acupuncture, I have read that there is no statistical benefit to having more than four sessions for it to make a difference for IVF. The main one is on the day of embryo transfer, that's the one that makes the big difference, apparently.
I have found a clinic that does an initial session for about £45 and then shorter sessions for around the £30 mark. Better stop buying things on Ebay then. [rolls eyes]
Oops gotta run, have to go and get DS from nursery.
Hugs to all.

Aaah! Sweet memories of chinese herbs. A few years ago i took the stuff for exzema (sp?). It was the most unspeakably amazingly vile stuff ever - black and thick. I used to line up a series of glasses of fruit juice to down after the herbs. My family thought it was so funny watching me that we've got umpteen photos of me holding my nose and pulling faces.

.....however....it worked....hope yours do too

Great feedback grownup

You're all right about our friend. Keeping schtum is the only way forward. His family have been telling him to ditch her for a long time. He looks so defeated whenever you see him, it's desperately sad.

Throwing up, headachey, really tired and sore boobs today - AF is definitely on its way. At least this will be three normal cycles in a row for the first time since DD so that will be something to tell the fertility clinic in a month's time.

Throwing up? Normal AF sign? Really? When is your AF due?

Spiral that sounds more like a pg symptom to me - is that what you were thinking Fifi??
Mind you one of my friends used to have such bad pains that she would vomit before AF, is that what happens to you?
Tetley, sounds yummy!

Yes - Rowing exactly what I was thinking!

Mmmmm yes! (strokes chin and waits patiently alongside Fifi & Rowing for more news from Spiral)...

Hi, Ladies. I just joined this thresd. Iam 42, ttc #2. My dd is almost eleven. DH and I never thought about having a second one. Suddenly I have developed this irrepressible urge to have a second one. My husband and I worry that its may not be a good idea as the child will be embarassed to have us oldies as parents and we may not live to support him/her in early adult life ( we are both healthy). Anybody knows any grownups whose parents had them quite late? Thanks.

There are loads of people who had kids in their forties. Not least my DH whose mum was 42. He says he didn't really notice that she was older than his friends' mums.

TBH there have always been older mums. i worry about it occasionally but what's the point? You say you worry that you may not live to support a child. Well you could get knocked over by a bus! (Obviously don't want you too)No point in worrying about that.

Also if you already have a dd then they would always have each other in the future.

Good luck.

hello everyone

Will catch up properly later, but just wanted to drop by and say hello. Have been busy, but am also getting to the stage of putting ttc to one side for a bit as am starting to think it may not happen. No, am not putting it to one side, am bothering less [have not taken one temperature all cycle as cannot be arsed kind of not bothering].

Will read the thread tomorrow when I have some space and write properly...

Hi Pat I do worry about not being around for my child, but on the other hand I am fairly confident that I would be around until my children are independent.
Try to think of the positives as well as the negatives, people live a long time these days and having a child is a really good reason to stay in great shape. As an older parent you have probably done loads, worked, travelled, met lots of people, so have no regrets about committing completely to bringing up your child and you have lots of cool experiences to share with your child.
As for being embarrassed, well you are guaranteed to embarrass your children regardless of your age, so you may as well come to terms with that now.

Pat, my Grandad's 94 in February, and my Great-Nana on my mum's side lived until 103. That said, her daughter (my mum's mum) died at 48, and my step-dad at 52, so the simple answer is "who knows?"

It's a risk I'm willing to take, as having that little person in our lives, and my son's life, will bring so much joy, if life with ds so far is anything to go by.

I agree, I don't really think age is an issue.I think being older is actually better. I had my first at 24 and having my son at 41 has been so much better.I am so much more relaxed, not so hell bent on "having a life", or still wanting to maintain a party life,a "hot" body etc,etc.I realise now there are much more important things to do, like enjoying my children, every minute!And I have totally given up on having a "hot" bod...there's no chance!
Unfortunately, western society still seems to frown on older parenthood, much more so than in other societies.Just as having large families also seems to be taboo.
And being over 40 doesn't mean the desire to have a baby evaporates!Quite the opposite for some of us.
My grandmother was 43 when she had my aunt(my mother was 19 when she had me)and it didn't affect my aunt at all.We grew up together, which was pretty cool for my mum I think.
I just love that TCM says up to 49 is good.
Yay for older mums!
Good luck ladies, I hope you get your bfps before too long.
Angie

AF arrived this morning on schedule. Ever since DD arrived I've been getting nauseous just before AF not sure if it's psychosomatic wishful thinking or something else.

I think I'm definitely far more laid back as a mum than I would have been in my twenties although the extra energy would have come in useful

As Rowing says we're all going to embarrass our kids at some point regardless of our age. I think that you need to make a bit of an eejit of yourself with your DCs otherwise you will stand out as an older parent. It's your outlook on life not your numerical age that makes a difference.

That said I think there's a world of difference (in terms of being around long enough to support your kids) between having a child in your 40s and these mums trying to have DCs in their 60s.

Thank you ladies. I am really encouraged by all your comments. Its so strange that for over 10 years I was highly satisfied with one child and the day I attended the open house for middle school ( she enters sixth grade in fall), I came home all depressed about the time we lost. I am restless since that day. We were both busy struggling with our careers. I just hope its not too late and God will give us a second chance. Thanks again and all the best to all of you.

Hi everyone
Well, the herbs arrived on Wednesday. Imagine you had sent your DC out with a plastic bag on a "nature hunt" and they had come back with a bag full of stick, pods, dirt, snail shells etc dragged out from under the hedge. Well that's exactly what the bags of herbs look like!
You tip all this guff into a saucepan, steep it in water, boil it up, let it cool and then drink it. The liquid (let's not dignify if with the name "tea") is a muddy black concoction. You end up with about 200mls per dose to drink - about half a pint. Professor Li does not lie. It is definitely the worst thing I have ever tasted. In fact, it is an absolute ordeal and takes me around 30 mins to down one cup - one after breakfast and one after dinner. Breakfast is worst. It really slows down getting ready for work in the morning!!
Methinks... they say 45% success ... but maybe it should actually be 100% except that the other 55% of people cannot keep it up
I intone "I tonify my Qi. I tonify my Qi. I tonify my Qi" as I drink it.
If it wasn't for a) desperately TTC and b) have just spent £286 on this torture, I would definitely throw the stuff back under the hedge asap!!

And also... now realise why acupuncture is the popular and generally know Chinese medecine. You have to be REALLY hardcore to do the herbs

Ha ha. I remember having some of this when had my acupuncture but usually I had a tea or a capsule. It really is gross though.

Hope it works for you.

Got the wipe of doom before - right on cue. Ironically 3 years ago today was preparing to go into hospital to be induced.

Hi all
boo at the WOD Fifi.
I still have some Chinese medicinal teabags in my cupboard, barf! Tried one and that was the lot for me.
Grownup good on you for managing the vile slime magical elixir. I'm very hopeful that this will have you surrounded by babies in no time.

Actually I am now on day 4 of the potion and it is fair to say that, whilst still absolutely vile, I am slightly getting used to it. Handy hint: have found that if you sip interspersed with nibble of chocolate, the chocolate coats your tongue and it is not quite so bad. Have tried other "disguisers", eg biscuits, coffee, juice, but nothing works except chocolate - probably because of its texture.

So do you reckon in another four days you will think it's yummy?
I do sympathise, have been taking so many supplements in the lead up to the next ivf that my tummy is groaning. It makes me feel a bit queasy, can't wait until I can stop!

Where are you all?????

I am using CB OPK. I am on cd #11 today. Cycle length 24 days. It seems I am not even oulating this month as no blue line so far. Last month there was a blue line on day 10. Its so frustrating. I should try to get clomid. DH still not very enthusiastic about the idea however will do it for me. Good luck to all of us.

I find opks a bit unreliable tbh. I usually test twice a day when i know OV due so don't miss 'the surge'. It works out expensive though!

Back with a TCM update.
After 6 days I'm actually getting used to the herbs. But here's the weird/amazing/exciting thing...
I feel absolutely fantastic. I mean the best I've felt in years. I am zinging! No more fatigue or aching lower back, and really feeling great.
Also, AF has arrived. This is normally bad news,obviously, but this month it is good news as it has arrived exactly 28 days after m/c. Normal flow, good colour (sorry TMI), no pain, cramps or discomfort.
I was told to expect it to drift back - "if at all, at your age" - maybe in 6 weeks. Instead everything is completely normal, or better than normal.
I can only attribute all this to the herbs. So I am really encouraged by the thought that if it can achieve this after 1 week, then the prospects are good.