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Conception

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Original poster

I'm really struggling making a decision on ttc #3!!!!!!!!

25 replies

fifisboys · 14/04/2009 21:37

I have 2 ds's..ds1 almost 3 and ds2 16 month. They have both been dream babies..slept really well etc and i can't make that final decision on #3.

My main concern is money, not just now but for future things like costs of going away, xmas etc. Its hard enough now with just the 2 of them but will having 1 more make all that much difference.
Also my 2 ds's seem to get on so well with each other and im worried that bringing another baby in might in some way hinder that.
On the other hand, i dont think im ready to say im not having anymore babies and get really broody..but i know that probably everyone does!!

Dp was dead against it which made me want one even more but now he's said that we can try after our wedding in Nov.

What was your deciding factor on having another baby apart from those who accidentially got pg??

OP posts:

gemstones · 14/04/2009 22:03

Hiya, in a simlar situation. Got 2 DS who are wonderful, lovely natured, really close to each other. We just a few wks ago decided to TTC#3, the decidng factor was that we have a lovely family life, not much money but we get by and we just have lots of love to give.
I do understand what your saying because ive thought that too but tbh i try not to think about the negatives too much.
It might be good to hear from people with 3DC to see how different life is.
Goodluck with your decision

Original poster

fifisboys · 14/04/2009 22:13

Thanks for replying

Our neighbour had just had dc#3 about 5 months ago and her older 2 are slightly older than my 2 and when i was taling to her she said ' oh i wouldnt recommend it' but obviously everyone's family are different i suppose.

OP posts:

gemstones · 14/04/2009 22:25

Yeah but its definatley not want you want to hear tho. Dont let that put you off.
I know it will be hard at times but you'll get thru it just like you would do now.
I think children are a reflection of the kind of parent you are and the kind of family life you have [if that makes sense]

Im waitng to test this wkend!

madmissy · 14/04/2009 22:31

same situ here!
2 dds... dd1 is 3.4 & dd2 is 19 months
we really want another. i have found that its a even split yes go for it we are ttc #4! OR no way its really hard

now i grew up with sisters they are twins and 3 yrs between us i loved it may have neen hard work but now i love how close we are and thats always made me want 3

one part of me is saying wish iw as already pg but the other is thinking damn the pg was hard i thought the 1st time the 2nd would be easier!

money is another huge concern but we get by we always do does anyone ever have enough money? and if they do what are they lacking elsewhere? is it really possible to have everything? think i would rather the lov eover money.

we have been through hell and back and yet we are still together we are much stronger than i ever thought possible!

my ONLY concern is my depression and anxiety that i have been suffering with. however i have sooo much support and i am feeling so great and i am well on road to recovery

dont know if that really helped at all! or if i just waffled

missmama · 14/04/2009 22:31

DS3 is now 3 months old.

DS1 and 2 are 10 and 8 and very much a 'complete set' IYSWIM.

Its a dream I couldnt believe it would be this good.

AND DS2 said to me the other day 'Thank you for having baby K'

DontlookatmeImshy · 14/04/2009 22:58

Same here.
Ds1 is 3.6 and ds2 is 14 months and we are discussing no.3. Ds1 and ds2 get on so well we also worry whether a third would upset that.

I've also had bad PND with both of them and as dh put it 'don't do normal pregnancies', so that's something we need to consider too.

Although when people ask why (eg HV who looked at me like i was mad ) it's because we just don't feel like we're finished yet, it feels like there's someone missing.

madmissy · 14/04/2009 23:06

dontlookatmeimshy i love that the username! i take it you watched that comedy pg? cant rememeber the name now!

wow what you wrote rings so true to me! dh is very worried about it but we want another baby sp much to consider

but like you put it we just dont feel complete so why not!?

islegrin · 14/04/2009 23:19

Since I'm still ttc#1 - I can't relate on a personal level, but my best friend has 5 kids (within 7 years) and she always says that 1 is much harder than none, 2 was twice as difficult as 1, and the third was only a bit more because you already know how to deal with babies! Of course she went on to say that 4 and 5 get easier and easier because the older ones start taking care of the younger ones.

You need enough money to make the basics, shelter, food, transportation - but having another sibling vs. 3 more presents at Christmas is a no-brainer. To put your mind at ease, I'd suggest put more into savings now, that way you have more of a cushion if you do try for #3, and it will make the worries less.

madmissy · 14/04/2009 23:34

oooh great advice!!

DontlookatmeImshy · 15/04/2009 10:30

madmissy - yes it's from that show. It was 'titty titty bang bang' iirc

I've just been looking at one of the lists on the ttc threads to see if anyone else was going for no.3. There's someone trying for no6. Dh was reading over my shoulder and was like this
==> "No.6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I told him there were a couple of mnetters with 8 or 9 and his eyes nearly popped out of his head.

dingledangle · 15/04/2009 10:40

Hi fifisboys I could have posted this myself! Have two DC, similar ages to yours and would like a third. I have posted on mnet about this before as I would like #3 but hubbie does not.

I keep hearing of pregnancies too which seems to make it worse.

Although it is hard with two I would like a third!

Like you I hear conflicting views. It probably depends on parents, children and what day the person is experiencing as to how they feel about 3 or more children.

There is no easy answer I think but I will watch this thread with interest.....

Thus far most people are nostalgic for more. It would be good to hear from people with more than two!!!

dingledangle · 15/04/2009 10:41

Ps meant to say this thread pops up quite often....

Original poster

fifisboys · 15/04/2009 20:00

Thanks for all the replies..theres certainly some good points to think about

OP posts:

madmissy · 15/04/2009 21:21

lots of good ignore neg lol

cloudydaze · 16/04/2009 12:36

Hi,
We're exactly same in that got two DS's (just 3 & 1.5yrs) & we're thinking about TTC no.3. Also same issues, not only the financial consideration but also our boys are very close & I am concerned that the 3rd would feel a bit left out, esp as he (or she I guess) would have a bigger age gap than the one between DS1 & DS2.
But we just feel that our family isn't complete so even though know it will be hard work we are pretty sure we'll see how we go TTC no.3

Schlumpf · 16/04/2009 15:05

Hi there, we're also the same, with the only difference that we've been in this "maybe yes, maybe no - limbo" for quite some time so our 2 little ones are now 3 & 5.

In some ways that makes me think it'll be a bit easier to have another baby but at the same time it's also more difficult - not the same closeness in age to make them bond etc.

rainbowdays · 16/04/2009 16:00

My 3rd dc has just turned 1, and I have to say he has been like a dream, wonderful and fantastic, and loved by all.
However, on the practical front having 3 is more difficult than 2 for many things.

Ds1 is 5, dd is 4 and ds2 is 1. Going swimming with all three by myself is a nightmare, not impossible but very difficult. Watching two children in the water is difficult but watching 3 - argggg. Same with going to the park etc.

Then there are the car seat issues with three, you only need to go look at the "larger families" threads to see that the issue with three car seats in a car is a problem in many cars.!!!!! Not something I thought would be an issue with three seatbelts in the rear of the car!

Next going on holidays (not that we ever do!!!) but the expence of 3 children vs being 2 adults and 2 children is an issue too. Likewise with cinema tickets......

OK there are so so so many reasons not to do it, but I have to say I love having three so much that I am now going for #4!!!!!!

rainbowdays · 16/04/2009 16:02

Sorry wanted to add that the other reason I am ttc#4 is due to odd one out when the children play. Two play together beautifully, but put a third in and there is an odd man out situation, no matter which two are playing together in my three. They all interact wonderfully with each other, but can't seem to play as a threesome.!

cloudydaze · 16/04/2009 17:03

Rainbowdays, that's one of my concerns as we def would stop at 3 & want a harmonious household! My ideal would be having 4 kids but that's not an option for us.

madmissy · 16/04/2009 20:38

ahh see thats where i have not so much worry
i have a 5 yr old dss. we have him pretty much every if not every other weekend so we already have problems that can arrise of 3 with the car seats etc

so one thing that we are doing is getting a bigger car, which we have put off for a
while anyway

but we have a mondeo 53 plate and the seat prob is not a issue in that

madmissy · 16/04/2009 20:40

i find that when we have dss only thing that we have problems with is we have girls and dss wants to boyish stuff (he has all is own games etc) so is a bit left out

but the only other thing is they are all so jealous of one another

Lilyloo · 16/04/2009 20:48

I have 3 dc
7 , 4 and 15 mth
no 3 is a handful but i am taking every moment in as she is my last
i find 3 hard for so many practical reasons but i wouldn't be without her and neither woudl my other dc
We have had to get a bigger car though and bunk beds!

madmissy · 16/04/2009 20:49

oh yes bunk beds thats my next buy for the girls

haraslou · 26/04/2009 03:15

I was never sure if I wanted another til I got pregnant by mistake and then miscarried last sept. Now I am completely broody, depsite the fact that I wasn;t thrilled to be pregnant at the time. It planted a seed, if you'll excuse the pun, and I can;t help dreaming of having another. My DS and DD are 2.6 and 4.6, I am 40 and DH is convinced he is done. What to do?? If I were younger, I'd try harder to convince him but I feel I have to respect his wishes and also, I've had several miscarriages thus far and don't even know if we could have anymore. I just don;t want to feel, acouple of years down the track when it's definitely too late that I should have tried harder....

TinySocks · 26/04/2009 05:54

If in doubt, then don't do it. Two is lovely.

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