bubbly1973's IUI online diary

[bubbly1973]

i am doing this online diary in the hope that it will help anyone who is going through it or are about to go through it. Oneday it will be hidden away in the archives and will be found by someone who is desperatly seeking information or another womans experience and find this diary helpful..if i can help one person then i will be happy

please feel free to post on this thread, if you have any comments or you just want to give me support id be most grateful

so here we go firstly something about me and dh

we had iui done a few years ago, conceived but sadly ended in a miscarriage,
went for our 2nd go straight away and conceived and now we have a beautiful little boy who is going to be 3 in june.

My periods are very irregular, anything from 35 to 45 days. I have cysts on my ovaries so am not ovulating, i thought after having a baby this would correct itself, but unfortunately it hasnt

I am 31, i am a smoker, non vegetarian, weigh nearly 8stone
dh is 32, non smoker, non vegetarian, his sperms are not extremly high in numbers but sufficient enough

iui explained

right so will post this and begin my diary....

Coggy, I used to be needle phobic from childhood where if I was going to have an injection I would faint. When I took my cat to the vet I had to look away. Even when I started going to this clinic I used to dread the needle and my stomach was in knots. Now the desire for another baby has completely taken over and I just get on with it.
It's very easy and I am sure you will manage.
Good luck to you!

hi everyone

just got my day 2 blood test results going back to july 05 so can discuss with my gp. Also expecting a letter from head cheese at MFS hopefully explaining why not put so much importance on my fsh over the year.

skbf - i have been having acupuncture for just over a year. its not made a huge difference in my fsh but it has been coming down gradually which was good news until I started on the chlomid and botched everything up. I am also the most health conscious person I know...2 litres of water a day, no caffiene or fizzy drinks, eat healthily and exercise regularly. What else can I do

I have read that stress can effect the hormones and some stress you can't control. I have mentioned before that I lost a baby at 5 months pg in jan 2004....well my brother died tragically 4 months later at the age of 38, a month after that my father in law told had cancer and given 6 months to live and he has since died. I also lost another brother 18 years ago. All these things were hard to deal with at the time but I'm a get on with type of person so thats just what I did each time. I don't discuss these events with anyone and try not to think about them. If my body is under some kind stress that I am not aware of then I don't know how to fix it. I keep being told to relax and it will happen, but I'm not a relaxed person, am pretty hyper and alwasy got stuff going on in my head.....so maybe I'm not as health conscious as I think!

skbf, thank you for that lovely compliment about this diary, i feel quite chuffed that my diary has helped which is what i wanted to accomplish

good luck with the injections, its not half as bad when you inject yourself, i always felt nervous mixing the medicine, and trying to get every single drop into that syringe.

coggy, honestly the injections arent as bad once you get used to it...a very dear friend of mine had one iui treatment, she really has a phobia about needles to the point that once in the doctors when she had to have an injection she freaked out and when she went to run out she pulled the surgery door off its hinges....it was a sliding door and she pulled it whilst in a state of panic....i was so proud of her for going through with it knowing how scared of needles she is

good luck for when you start your first treatment

dizzy, i cant believe all thats happened to you, youve really been through the mill, i didnt realise....have you tried yoga? im not a yoga kind of person and havent tried it but have heard that its a very relaxing thing to do, other than that i hope you can find some other way to take your mind off things,

Thank you SKBF and Bubbly.

LOL at your friend and the doorhandle Bubbly!
I'm going to think of that everytime I have to do a jab now.

Dizzy, you have experienced so much heartache and stress from all of your losses which is very difficult for one person to take. Can you seek some sort of bereavement counselling which would help heal your pain?
When will you receive your letter from hospital and can you have your fsh retested? I can't remember your age but would you consider a donor egg?
Regarding your gp, he/she may not be uptodate and knowledgeable about fertility and really the hospital and the consultant you are under should be honest with you and give you your options. I am truly sorry you are going through this.

Bubbly, like Coggy I am also going to think of your friend pulling the door off its hinges when / if I inject again!! That story is sooo funny and while I haven't done anything like that (I just used to pass out!) I can really relate to it. The sheer panic of it all!

got a little bit of good news i think.

went to see gp today. told me that with high fsh, if oestrogen levels are well below 100 then unlikely to ovulate. on two of my blood tests where fsh around 12 my oestrogen levels were well above 100. However, last cycle when fsh was 20, oestrogen was 83 and gp said unlikely that I ovulated. So at least I know that if my fsh levels are around 12 my oestrogen levels are going to be pretty good and likely to ovulate.

My clinic still useless. got a letter from them, two weeks later, and all it says is to come and speak to a consultant. They clearly don't want to put anything in writing to cover themselves but at least my gp has explained things a little bit now and going to have day 2 blood done on nhs to check if fsh come down next cycle.

I think I have made some wrong choices while having treatment mainly because I wasn't fully informed. Probably wishful thinking but can't help thinking that if had left things alone at start of year when fsh coming down I might not have had to much longer to wait before finally happened for me. Feel like have to start from scratch again.

ps skbf - I'm 38 and using donor eggs not for me (don't think I'm at that stage yet anyway hopefully!). Just want to be able to say to myself in 5 years time that I did my best to have another child. had another acupuncture session today, very relaxing. Then got stressed out as thought my gp apptnment was at 11.30 wen it was acutally 11.00 and I was still at home at 5 to!

Hello everyone,

I'm sorry I haven't been back on to let you all know how our treatment was going, been feeling sorry for myself and drinking wine with a straw! (Coggy Thanks for asking)

Bubbly - First of all, your diary was very helpful and really good to read. I went into my appointment last saturday feeling like I knew everything there was to know about IUI!! (By the way, I'm 32, smoker at weekends!, have ds aged 14, been with dp for 7 years.) Been TTC for 4 years - UNEXPLAINED INFERTILITY!! Been on clomid for 3 cycles. DP had 2 sperm tests - 5 star! (TMI? #

ANYWAY, HERE COMES THE GOOD BIT! Last Saturday, we went to Bupa for appointment to plan IUI. Smashing. We were looking forward to it, both very positive. We had both had to have HIV and HEP b and c tests, and of course DP had to give a sample for a swim up test to test the suitability for IUI. Went into the little room, coffee, pleasantries etc, lovely!

THEN he hit us with it!! "Sorry, your swim up test showed that your sperm is covered with anti-sperm antibodies (85% to be precise) so the only option available to you will be IVF with ICSI (a more invasive and expensive treatment), and the success rate for that will be about 15 per cent successful."

We hadn't even thought about anything like this happening. We had gone there to plan IUI! Had my diary and everything! I started crying! Used all of his tissues up! DP was in shock. Put a brave face on it though. We had never heard of these antibodies.

We left in total shock with the cons telling DP "You're no less of a man" and "Let me know if you want to go through with it." HE gave us the £120 session FREE!

I was relieved at first as it explains why we have not got pg after four years! I thought I was going mad - all those bloody head stands!!! And it meant I could go home and have a large glass of wine without feeling guilty for a change! Which I did. We got home just before 1pm, I had a stiff drink, DP went to the gym! (We cope with our stresses in very different ways!) In our 7 years together, I have never seen him cry until we left that room at the clinic.

I am left feeling very angry at the fact that this could have been detected before now. Is it a matter of money? This more detailed testing should be available to everyone before they confidently diagnose UNEXPLAINED INFERTILITY!

We are not entitled to NHS IVF as I already have a son from a previous relationship. Which also bugs me as DP doesn't have any so he should be entitled to some sort of help. (It costs about £4,500 a go!)

So, there you have it. We have started the ball rolling already. We have told both of our bosses, who were nice and supportive (as it involves time off work for me) DP has to have 2 more tests, (Karyotype and Cystic Fibrosis). They take 6 weeks to come back. So, we could have that BFP for Christmas!!

Sorry this has been such an essay but it's great to tell you all as only me and DP know whats going on. Haven't told our fams yet.

So, if anyone has had experience with IVF with ICSI or experience of anti-sperm antibodies - please let me know. Its off to the IVF thread for me (if there is one).

Thanks for listening!

Naditude
TTC 4 years, 32, part-time smoker, ds 14, UNEXPLAINED INFERTILTY - MY A*SE!!!!

Natitude...............I'm so sorry for you.
That obviously is a massive shock and a blow to you both.

I think it's just too easy to label us under 'unexplained infertility'.....that's what DH and I are classed as too.

Have you done any internet research on these anti-sperm anti-bodies?
Maybe there's soemthing that can be done naturally???

I thought that they washed the sperm in IUI etc. but obviously that isn't enough in your DH's case?

I also think that it is bad that because you've had a child you can't get extra help.......obviously when it comes to fertility issues it's a woman's world and stuff the men!

I do hope you get the results that you desperately want from the IVF route.

Take care and let us know what happens.
X

Coggy - Thanks for that. We have tried looking on the internet and these antibodies are usually associated with vasectomy reversals, sex changes or sporting injuries etc. DP claims he has had neither of these!

We really want to know of anyone that has had these and gone on to have children?

Good luck for your IUI too. Will be keeping fingers crossed for you.

Thanks......my DH has to give a sperm sample when we go for our appointment in a couple of weeks......I'll ask what is checked for.

naditude what a blow for you and your partner, and im very sorry to hear such news.

heres a link which may be very useful as i started a thread earlier last week asking someone if they could tell me the ins and outs of icsi for a friend of mine, but in the meantime i found a very helpful thread...

ivf/icsi explained

it is unfair that you cant have a free treatment on nhs just because you have a child from previous relationship, im sure i read somewhere that in the future they were going to change this so that a couple would be eligible so worth ringing up the fertility unit in April as i think thats when they bring in new rules

also i thought icsi had a bigger chance of conceiving than ivf, if i can find the website where i read this i will post the thread.

hopefully now that you know the obstacle that your facing you are nearer the road to achieving that goal so good luck

natitude - don't know where you live so this information could be useless! I can't do nhs either because have a child already and now over the cut off age of 37

IVF at manchester fertility services costs £2500. The medication is on top of this and my understanding is that it costs £500 tops, so a total of around £3000 for one ivf treatment. Might be worth checking cost of ivf for another clinic in your area. Prices vary between 3 - 5K, purely based on which clinic you use I think.

I was considering ivf until I was told that my chances of success are lower than normal because of my age and low ovarian reserve. Do you still intend to go ahead with ivf even though been told chances are only 15% .

Hi Dizzy,

Thanks for the info. We have decided to go ahead. DP had the necessary (cystic fibrosis and one beginning with 'K'!) blood tests yesterday and we will have to wait 6-8 weeks for the results! We are going to have the ICSI tretment with IVF, I've been on a brilliant website and found out lots of info too.

Good luck everyone else, hope your IUI's are all very successful!!

Good luck natitude with your ICSI. I sat next to a woman in the clinic I attend with her 3 year old DD and she told me that she was the product of that clinic and ICSI worked first time!!!! Very best of luck.

Hi Bubbly, SKBF, Dizzy et al -
Hope you are all well?
Am now on my third (and final) cycle of IUI (at new clinic), before moving straight onto IVF if it doesn't work. fingers crossed for this time ......

Good luck with your third cycle natitude. I haven't kept up to date with the clomid thread but did you change because you were unhappy with the care there or were you recommended another clinic by somebody else? Did you have to go through all the testing again at the second clinic?

madigan, good luck, i really hope it works this time, what cycle day are you on at the moment,

keep us in touch and let us know how things are going and how you are feeling

hi bubbly
on cycle day 6 today. Have a scan next monday. Natural IUI this time - no clomid or injections. Feeling ok about it at the moment, but not really expecting IUI to work and preparing myself for IVF.
How are you?

Hi Bubbly -

Hope you are well. Had IUI on Friday 29 Sep, so well into my 2ww. Keep your fingers crossed for me!!! Please God let this be my turn .... if not, its IVF next month.
Hope all is well with you.

hiya madigan, i was thinking of you on monday and wondered how your iui treatment was going, thanks for letting me know, i have everything crossed for you and wish from the bottom of my heart that this month is yours

good luck and keep me posted as i do wonder how you are getting along

when will you find out? how do you feel?

Hi bubbly
will find out Friday week -
feel ok today, but obviously it is not easy ....
the clinic told me that our chances of success are reduced because of problems with DH's sperm, so it is likely we will have to go for IVF - but there is at least a small chance. fingers crossed. X

My fingers are well and truely crossed for you Madigan......as one who is about to embark on IUI myself........

A long and difficult wait for you over the next 9 days or so I should imagine.
X

Thanks Coggy...
when are you going to do IUI -
and how long have you been ttc?

I am due to start IUI anytime now but we have decided to put it off until after Christmas.....just to get my head around the whole thing properly!

We have been waiting nearly seven years for a successful outcome!!
Took us nearly 5 years ttc our DS who was then still born....got in a cord tangle just before he was born.

Now we have been trying for another 16 months.

I'm sure we'll get there...but it is a bit epic!!