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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

To all those who tried and tried and tried and tried...and then gave up...and then got pregnant...

89 replies

katierocket · 17/04/2005 19:56

I've heard this so often "stop trying and you'll get pregnant", "relax and you'll get pregnant" but obviously it's a bit of a contradiction since the longer you try the more you want it (I'm currently at nearly 12 months). SO the question is.... just HOW do you "stop trying", when you want it so bad?

OP posts:

Original poster

katierocket · 21/07/2005 18:24

thanks Moomin, just want i wanted to hear. I'm having a particularly black day today. Just don't understand why it's not my turn.

OP posts:

Willow2 · 21/07/2005 18:43

YOu give away all the baby stuff you've had stored in the loft for the past five years...

Mirage · 21/07/2005 18:56

After 3 years plus of trying,I got pregnant whilst waiting to start IVF.I'd also tempted fate by quitting my stressful job,so losing all my maternity benefits & having cream carpets fitted throughout the house.

Keysha · 22/07/2005 07:15

Moomin, that is great advise that I think will also need. I think reading too much on all the ttc threads with people announcing their BFPs is just torturing ourselves. As said, it is best to focus on something positive in life that will keep preoccupied while TTC.

Unfortunately, it is so hard to focus on something else while at the back of your mind you have something that is so important to you.Been trying for my 1st for 3 yrs, had 2 m/c and been undergoing various treatments for my problem. I keep telling myself,when i forget all about TTC that is when it will happen.

Original poster

katierocket · 22/07/2005 08:26

Keysha, sorry to hear you've been trying so long, puts my 14 months into perspective. I agree about the TTC threads. At first I always posted on them and read them but I just had to stop, it really starting getting me down. Now I find myself reading birth announcements from people whose names I recognise from those early threads. I think it is a lot healthier to stay away from those threads.

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janinlondon · 22/07/2005 10:44

Katierocket I really don't think its anything to do with the mind - look at all the women who fall pregnant because of rape, or all the ones who fail to fall in spite of years of happily unstressed unprotected sex? If we could control implantation with our minds I'd be impressed. I have spent nine years having unprotected sex and not even a whisper of a pregnancy. Both DH and I have been investigated and there's nothing that they can find wrong. I really think the "stop trying" thing is a myth, and I'm not even sure what it means in real terms. I don't think you would ever be able to "stop trying" if you want a baby. Sorry. Just my own experience of course!

Keysha · 22/07/2005 13:32

Thanx Katierocket. The TTC road have been quite rough, but I have not given up. I used to get very emotional, but i think i have grown stronger and take each day as it comes.

I think most important thing is to never give up. However, thinking positive of something good that is happening in your life will keep us away from torturing ourselves.

The 2 m/c I had were a result of unexpected PG. Both times my mind was so pre-occupied with a business trip and organising a cousin's wedding. My mind was totally else where, wasn't even aware of ovulation. I came to find out at 6 wks when I got a sign. How I wish I could take myself to a really pre-occupied zone.

You will get there girl! Wishing you most best wishes.

jenkel · 22/07/2005 13:38

OK, my fertility history is 2 attemps at IVF, pregnant on the 2nd but ended in eptopic. 3rd attempt worked and gave birth to dd1. They fell pregnant naturally with dd2 10 months after having dd1. We had also been trying for 5 years prior to IVF.

Original poster

katierocket · 22/07/2005 13:42

and you keysha.
and jain

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Original poster

katierocket · 22/07/2005 13:42

you see it's just mad isn't jenkel, how these things happen.

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Tinker · 22/07/2005 14:33

No read the whole thread kr but would you ever consider adoption?

Original poster

katierocket · 22/07/2005 16:56

yes tinker, we'll see what happens in next few months and then look into it

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Tinker · 22/07/2005 17:53

I do know, like lots of other posters, people who've tried IVF and adopted who have then got pregnant naturally. And you're young aren't you? Mid 30s? Good luck. Hope that doesn't sound trite.

kath4kids · 22/07/2005 18:09

not read whole thread but here's my story. Had two pregnancy's at 20 & 22 after only trying a matter of weeks. Then when youngest was 3 1/2 decided to try for no 3 she turned up after trying for 5 years. Found out just two weeks after moving. Was a complete surprise, both of us had had all the tests and apart from fact that at one point dh had low sperm count no other probs could be found.

So i suppose there is something in forgetting about it. But that doesn't help does it when your trying to concieve. When you see other people pregnant and you want so badly. When people say to you just relax ti just makes you more stressed.

After a year of trying your gp will take you seriously or at least he should do. Starting with blood tests and sperm count and then if all them are alright then moving on to further investigations.

Good luck

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