Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

To all those who tried and tried and tried and tried...and then gave up...and then got pregnant...

89 replies

katierocket · 17/04/2005 19:56

I've heard this so often "stop trying and you'll get pregnant", "relax and you'll get pregnant" but obviously it's a bit of a contradiction since the longer you try the more you want it (I'm currently at nearly 12 months). SO the question is.... just HOW do you "stop trying", when you want it so bad?

OP posts:
BellaLasagne · 17/05/2005 14:49

Thanks for the swift replies...

I'm intersted also in teh acupuncture route.....please tell us more!

Would dh's stress levels affect things (he's often pretty stressed because of work)? Neither of us drink coffee but we have been getting through a fair bit of red wine and have cut back a lot recently.

sandyballs · 17/05/2005 15:12

Interesting thread. We tried for 3 years then miscarried, tried for another year without success and decided to try and focus on other things rather than "baby making" (much easier said than done). So we both started drinking loads of wine again, eating crap food, burning the candle at both ends, and within two months I was pregnant again. First scan revealed twins who are now 4 years old. So don't give up hope.

What I find rather strange is that we only managed to have sex once in the month that our twins were conceived . All the previous years of far more rigorous bonking yet no babies and then one shag and bullseye - very odd.

Original poster
katierocket · 17/05/2005 15:32

bella - yes stress can affect it

OP posts:
Tabs · 17/05/2005 15:57

Sandyballs - I've found your story very inspiring. Myself and DH had been trying for just over 3 years when I fell pg last year, but I miscarried at 12 weeks (baby died at 8), and we're now 7 months on and still trying.

Do you mind me asking how old you both were by the time you fell pregnant with the twins, and whether you and your DH had had fertility tests done?

ChaCha · 17/05/2005 17:05

Tabs - was wondering if i could ask you a sensitive and perhaps personal question. Did you have any idea that there was anything wrong between the 8 and 12 weeks? Did you stop having symptoms or anything?
I wish you all the best and am sure its just a matter of time a patience until you get your next BFP..sending you lots of babydust xxxxx

Tabs · 17/05/2005 17:34

Hi ChaCha - it's ok, I don't mind talking about it - it's not so raw after all this time.

I did have a clue that there might be something wrong. I'd had the tiniest amount of blood in my CM one morning, and then for just over a week (starting about 2 weeks after first bit of blood) it was intermittently pink when I wiped after going to the loo. Only very faint, and doc and midwife said it was probably nothing, so I didn't push for a scan.

I didn't really have many symptoms anyway - just tiredness, slightly sore boobs, acid stomach and headaches. Some of these had eased a little, and some were only intermittent in the first place, but as I was close to second trimester I just assumed that I was entering the blooming phase early!

I did do a test about 9 1/2 weeks, but it was still +ve, so was encouraged by that.

I hope you don't ask because you think it might be happening to you?

munz · 17/05/2005 18:33

just being nosey and Bella - yes stress def stopps things, for example, last month I only bled for 3 days cos I was stressed about DH coming home, then once I spoke to him in the UK I started bleeding as soon as I hung up the phone (weird) and this month was stressed about a HSG scan and was 3 days late on my OV dates which seems to have had a knock on effect on the rest of my cycle. so no stess I recon.

BellaLasagne · 19/05/2005 11:37

Oh Tabs, wishing you a bfp very soon......

Can anyone tell me more about acupuncture please as I've never had it. How do you find a good practitioner and can they specifically treat 'infertility' for want of a better phrase?

BL x

Original poster
katierocket · 19/05/2005 12:13

yes they can bella. My acunpunturist specialises in infertility. (mind you I've had 4 sessions and I'm not pregnant yet!)
best place to find one is via the British Association of Acupuncturists.

ho hum, off to GP tomorrow to discuss HGS tests at hospital. I SOOOOOOO want to be pregnant

OP posts:
jenkel · 19/05/2005 12:24

I certainly think that as soon as the pressure is off it is easier to fall pregnant, but realise that this is easier said than done. I base this on my own experience, been trying for 4 years before we started IVF, 2 failed attempts at IVF and then got pregnant on my 3rd attempt. Had my wonderful daughter and at my 8 week check with the GP I just laughed when he suggested different forms of contraception. However, 20 months later and whilist still breastfeeding I fel pregnant naturally. We were more than happy with a 1st daughter and decided that our family was complete and that we didnt want to go through IVF again, so think because all the pressure was totally off it made things a lot easier.

Kelly1978 · 19/05/2005 12:32

Hoep you have soem luck soon, katierocket. i was ttc for a year with exhusband who had a low sperm count, then fell pg a few months later after I had started a great new job and decided to have a break from trying for a while.
Ds came along after about the same length of time, after I wanted to put it on hold, as we were having relationship probs.
My dts came when I wasn't trying at all, actually usign contraception. It can def come along when you are least expecting it! And this sounds liek I didn't want any of my children, but I love them all to bits, honestly! I think the dog is a good idea, just make sure u get a breed good with children.

Original poster
katierocket · 19/05/2005 12:41

yes perhaps a bonnet wearing dog is the best option for now...

OP posts:
BellaLasagne · 19/05/2005 14:24

So, Kelly, as I understand it, you actually got pg when your dh was subfertile while using contraception????? Is this true? Wow! There's hope for me then!

Will research acupuncture......

Hope your appt tomorrow goes well Katie. BTW, did you see my reply to your other thread about pre-period pains? HTH

BLx

mancmum · 19/05/2005 14:32

hi I only had acupuncture about 4-5 times specifically for infertility treatment before and during 2nd IUI all very successful!!

There is a woman at Salford University who does it for free or very cheap look on the CARE web site i saw somone talking about it there... I went privately -- best 100 quid I ever spent!!

throckenholt · 19/05/2005 14:33

concentrate on something else for a while - some new hobby or obsession, or planning a holiday or something.

ChaCha · 19/05/2005 16:49

Tabs - wishing you all the best and thank you for sharing that with me. I was a bit naive to be honest before becoming PG and didn't realise how common m/c really was. I've met some wonderful ladies on the my ante-natal board and some of them have gone through a m/c too - I honestly don't think i could be as brave as most of them are and as you are too - really, wishing you much luck and all the best xxxx

Kelly1978 · 20/05/2005 08:40

bella, soz the twins are actually with my new partner, not my exh, but I did have two kids with my exp, so a low count can just mean it takes longer.

BellaLasagne · 25/05/2005 12:03

Feel very cross with myself. Just been into town and walked past two Chinese medecine/acupuncturists but chickened out of going in! Grrrrrr.....

How's everyone? KR, how did you get on at docs??

BLx

Chuffed · 25/05/2005 14:04

BellaLasagne where abouts in the country are you maybe somebody can recommend one, I can for London - she was great!

BellaLasagne · 25/05/2005 14:39

I'm in the sticks on the English/Welsh border.

There are a couple locally it's just that I totally chickened out and i'm not sure why

Original poster
katierocket · 07/06/2005 16:02

bump
for anyone who never originally saw this
still desperate and still not pregnant!

OP posts:
BellaLasagne · 09/06/2005 09:18

Hi KR (((((hugs))))

I contacted a psychic last week (desperate or what) and even she said to stop 'trying' and have a break.....yes, right......

How's the acupuncture? (I've still not got the nerve)

BL x

Original poster
katierocket · 09/06/2005 16:59

ha! well there you go then! still going to acunpuncturist, no luck yet though. Have been refered by GP for tests at hospital but a bit of me is sure that it's just 'in the mind!'
thanks for thinking of me bella, good luck to you.

OP posts:
Original poster
katierocket · 21/07/2005 14:51

bump

still now luck (14 months TTC now) so if anyone else has any words of wisdom....

OP posts:
Moomin · 21/07/2005 18:22

poor you. Only advice is 'hang on in there'. When I was at your stage I was feeling hopeless and frustrated and taking it out on dh. I tortured myself looking through all the ttc threads with people announcing their BFPs and frantically looked to see if they'd had similar 'symptoms' to me. I'm sure I sent myself mental. I can't remember if it helped or not knowing that dh and I were in the minority - that most couples ttc do so successfully by 18m - I think sometimes it made me feel despondant and sometimes I felt hopeful, thinking it might be us next.

I know nothing will actually help until you're the one announcing your BFP but all I'd say is to keep up the alternative therapies, esp those that help you relax and try try try to focus on something else positive that is going on in your life, or something you can make happen to take all of your energies away from ttc.

I really do wish you all the best, and I know it's hard - we took 2 yearsbut got there in the end. XX