Emmsy's onwards and upwards! xxx

[barbie1]

For all of us who have shared so much, tears, hopes, laughter and dreams. May our friendships stay strong and as healthy as we all our.
Here is to our happy ending...we deserve it
Love Barbie x

Good luck for today 4ever!

I still can't quite believe our ice cube discussions of yesterday!

Oh God last night I was actually dreaming about a shop that sold ice-cube trays for making sperm ice-cubes!

My af is definitely imminent as I've got those heavy dragging pains, I think its gonna be a biggie.

Good luck 4ever

nearly 9.30 and 4ever is hopefully strutting her stuff in her new top and getting all the help and answers needed.
hope everyone is ok this morning

Hi girls

god how i laughed at the ice cubes, especially last when my mum asked me last night if i wanted her to make some more...i nearly spat my drink all over dh who was looking at me like i was barking....i mean after all how funny can ice cubes be?

Hello again doozer glad you are back and posting, its nice in here isnt it?

Last night was hell, dh went to play football and due the really bad weather was home really late, my mum was going on and on and on about something so by the time we got to bed dh was really tired, i made the mistake of insisting we had sex because i had a positive test..... however dh then went into how he just couldnt do it on demand, especially with my mum next door etc etc, he said it hurts when he knows i only really wanted to bd due to the test result...que lots of crying from me, then a long talk into the middle of the night about everything... most of which has been written about on here over the last few weeks. I think i made him guilty because he said if it means that much to you we can give it a try but by then i was a sobbing, snotty mess so we went to bed just cuddling and trying to think about being spontanous again.
I think he is worried about me today because he has called lots to check, im fine though. Im glad just to know that im finally getting back to normal!!!

blue i hope your test go ok, im here refreshing the page until i find out what is going on!

mls you have made me laugh loads, thankyou!

lion i hope you are ok hun? remember we are here for you when ever you need us

Hello to everyone else, in a bit of a rush due to a demanding mother!

Barbie ttc does take all of the fun & spontaneity out of sex - FACT! It becomes a clinical function that you are just doing to get the desired result unfortunately.

For me it's a military operation & my ammunition is my thermometer, charts, opks & pree-seed. I've even been known to slip my unwitting dh the odd herbal viagra pill but don't tell anybody!!

On top of that when you are actually doing it you are thinking "I really hope I've got the timing right tonight" & when you have finished you lie there with your bum on a pillow trying to coax the little swimmers up a bit further, romantic.... I don't think so!

I think spontaneous truly enjoyable sex is something that happens when you are not ttc!

mls the viagra, but very funny too . Lol at the bum on pillow, I did that

blue what tests are you having done today? and been thinking of you and your tests today 4ever

Well I called the mw yesterday cos my back and belly have been sore for a while now, so she came to see me today, she checked baby's hb and that's fine and I'm measuring 19 weeks so she's put it down to muscular pain. She's referred me to physio and given me a huge tubigrip to wear over my hips and tummy, it's well sexy might eben post a picture.....don't worry I won't

Hey All,

Just checking in to see if 4ever has reported back..

barbie - sorry last night went awry but good thing is you and DH talked it through and cuddled, maybe try again tonight as +ve means you should be ov in the next 36 hours... Tiredness is a killer for men (as I have found in my many lovers - not!).

MLS - totally with you in the spontaneous, enjoyable sex going out the window whilst ttc. I do try and shag rather than bd at other times of the month just to reassure DH I don't just want him for his sperm .

even

X-posts Vjay! I'm not getting any tests, think barbie was mixing me up with 4ever!

I had to get one of those tummy belts when I was 16 weeks as had terrible sciatica type pains. Referred to staff physio and duly kitted out - they did help but were a faff!

hope yours helps x

I wish I had a belt blue I won't get one till I've seen the physio, so for now it's this big tubigrip, I didn't realise they did them so big! but it is helping. I'm off to York at the weekend for a wedding,so at least it will help with all those touchy feely hands on my bump.

I guess we have all got obsessive with our sticks, temps et al because we want to be back in control of our bodies.
oh barbie so much for blinking relaxing you poor girl. heartfelt soggy deep in the night talks often resolve lots of stuff, just be gentle on yourself hon.x
I wish I had a magic wand for us all.
blue hope your next session of accupuncture goes ok. You will be getting one of those massage bead things to put on your volvo seat next
vjaybigpants sciatica is painful, I had it at about 8 months pg. My dh found me in the street looking like a very odd fat stork not being able to move my leg. I guess all your joints and muscles are moving about and compensating. Sneak in that afternoon nap girl.

Lol mermaid, I've done a few poses like that
I enjoyed doing the temping, probably because it made feel like I was doing something positive, and I wanted to know what was going on with my body.

I'm off to cook dh a herring, not done it before, but he was looking at all the fish at the fish counter and asked for one!!!!so I said why not, bless him, he's only had fish in a pie or a finger before.

No update from 4ever? Barbie* hopefully you'll get some gourmet BD'ing tonight instead.

whoops sorry blue for getting you mixed up with 4ever!

4ever i hope you had a nice day yesterday, any news from the tests?

So last night we managed to be spontanous....until after the deed when i hoisted my legs in the air, firmly clamped together the keep the little swimmers in! poor dh made this face then before whispering to me ''what the hell are you doing, i thought you had a +ve yeterday, so surely its not going to work now" ah bless him, i hadnt told him we were still in with a chance after the conversation last night. So i told him i was just stretching out after the work out i had in the gym earlier ...all the while i was thinking about mls who had put the bum on the pillow idea in my head again!

I wonder how mollie and mm are havent heard from them here in a while im off to fb them to see how they are

Morning girls! OMG how I laughed at the sperm ice cubes stories!

Thank you for all your good luck wishes for yesterday too! Well we duly braved the rush hour into town to Gt Portland st, saw the doc who basically just asked our history, I gave him copies of all the results of tests already done, he said it seems we've had most of everything that is usually done & that this LIT seems a very likely option, he didnt really explain immense detail of tests or LIT but think he gathered I done loads of research. So now they have my & DH blood (yea test for him for a change) & they'll put them together to see if they react. Now we are both praying it shows I'm 'allergic' to my poor DH!

Had a nice day after, got a bacon buttie & coffee & ate it in Regents Park then went for a long walk round, then pretended we were tourists, told DH never actually been upto Buckingham palace so we went over there via Green park, then walked to Trafalger square via St James park, walked onto parliament then to Piccadilly Circus & had lunch near chinatown. My legs are killing me today! Must of covered 10 miles .

Anyway sorry me me me but it continues further in the rollercoaster world of 4ever! .....So AF due yesterday & this morning for some strange reason I decided to pull the PG test we did on sun out the bedroom bin & there was a very very faint 2nd line?!?!?!?! . Called DH immediately & didnt need a wee so waited til I got ready for work, was gonna do another test when I got in, but couldnt wait & tried before I left, but meant to hold it in 'stream' for 10 secs & was only 5 secs worth (!) , that one came out BFN?!!??! Talk about a major headf*!!!! Spent that hour thinking omg what if we do have that LIT thing & need treatment? Will just be waiting for it to go wrong again as dont think I can have treatment when PG.. So now I just dont know whats going on?? Have brought another test with me & am holding my wee(!). Obviously I do know you should never go back to an old test & it may well just be that playing a mind messing april fools day trick on me...

So sorry for the mammoth post!

OK ladies - moral of the day is do NOT look at old tests. My 2nd test today also showed BFN . Soooo never get discarded old tests out of the bin 3 days later, it will just f* with your head & give you a big old rollercoaster ride (again).

At least that means if LIT is found its full steam ahead with the treatment (4ever tries to find the positive side!) I now have a very long week to wait & find out if we have it! Please please please, am praying & crossing things.

What a rollercoaster 4Ever Glad you have an answer either way - onwards and upwards

Feeling blue today - the first (early) LO is due to arrive soon on my old A/N thread - very happy for everyone on that thread and they were all lovely and supportive - it just underlines the fact that my old EDD is fast approaching

Hmm yes well I know i'm not PG but wont know test results til next week so still doing the waiting game. My heads fried after this morning.

EDDs are very hard. My 1st lo should have been 1 on the 13th April.... We should also have a 6month old, a 9 week old or an 18 week bump. Instead we have headf* & a waiting game.

To my shame I only remember the EDD and 'age' of my first lo. I seem to have blanked the others out and the only reason I know I have an EDD approaching is cos of you lot on here.. I think it's my heads way of dealing with it.
4ever oh honey a whole week to wait, I am so glad that it went ok and the dr seemed positive about it all. and what are you doing to your head????? leave the rubish bin alone, big hug cos its only elevensys time and you have had a bit of a morning already.
jools slinky lady in your size 14s. Its so nice to see you on here cos I always miss you heaps. It is so bitter sweet hearing others news of births. I was always known for geting so blooming over exited about friends having babies, rushing to hold them etc and I hate the feelings that have completely overtaken me.
We will all get there one way or another ladies we really will

Thanks mermaid hon.. I'm a bit about being a silly mare. You're right, I'm wrecking my own head. Dunno why I remember all the dates so much. Perhaps PMT is rife... Dont wanna be at work.. Had a good day yesterday too.. Trying to do PMA now... (4ever does a weak grin)

4ever I didn't at all mean you were a silly mare to remember your los it is really important for us all, I think I have just mentally rolled mine all together and then just hid my head in the sand. Whatever gets us through this time in our lives in one piece is good.
I feel really sick and felt this for a few days, I know its just bad pmt but still do the what if torture session in my head anyway. I have so much blinking work on the desk amongst coffee cups and bits of birthday cake crumbs and I just can't motivate myself. Your day round London sounded great by the way.

Oh no I know you didnt mean that hon, & I know im not silly for doing it, we all cope in our own wierd & wonderful ways! I always imagine that if when we actually have our own child that those dates may not be so vivid!

at your feeling sick? You sure you're not? I'm just waiting on AF arival, seems my cycles gone to 29 days, or perhaps 30 if not til tomorrow. Maybe Im just trying to get in sync with you! Ahhhh its midday finally! Roll on hometime & that big glass of wine I'll be having when I get in! I'm also having alot of trouble motivating myself to work today!

ooo lots to read, i think i've got it all! Not much time to catch up but Barbie you do make me smail! Have also had those mid-night chats, I know what you mean, it gets clinical for us too.

Lion hope you're ok, you have to go with your gut instinct. I am old so my risks were always going to be higher, we decided that we would go ahead regardless and didnt want amnio etc (we were lucky in the end as we didn't have to consider any further decision as result came back low- i've never understood that, i though being over 40 made the risks shoot up). Good luck with what ever you decide, you know you can always talk to us!

4ever- glad you ahd a good day in london, have also had a preg test like that - total headf**k. Am now 2 days late am still BFN.

Anyway have to go as at work, waves a big sunny 'hello and see you later' to one and all

I do feel guilty sometimes having a moan and feeling sorry for myself, then remembering that so many people have had so many more losses

Hope you keep feeling sick Mermaid

I'm 4DPO and already symptom spotting

Working from home today and also struggling with motivation - have just been told I might have to go to Germany for work at very short notice - eek !

Oh jools never feel guilty for feeling sorry for yourself or moaning cos thats all I've done this morning and I feel really bad about it now! Just re-read my post and hope you didnt take it in wrong way?

I do feel like a prat.. Roll on 4pm and that wine in the fridge..