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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Concieving after 40

44 replies

bigbearsgirl · 11/02/2009 16:55

Have any of you naturally conceived your first child after the age of 40? I have just turned 42, been TTC for over a year and had various tests (hormones, semen etc) all results normal/ok but the specialist said we should seriously consider IVF sooner rather than later. I was devastated and did yet MORE research on internet only to find MORE depressing statistics about conceiving over 40 and also read that the odds of conceiving your first child after this age are pretty non-existent and that women that do conceive beyond this age have already had children. Please cheer me up!!!

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Tabitha8 · 11/02/2009 17:05

Total garbage I'm pleased to say. I'm 43 and 24 weeks pregnant with number one. Check out TTC 40+ and the 40+ thread under pregnancy. Good luck.

Original poster
bigbearsgirl · 11/02/2009 17:09

Thank you!! Hope this is not too personal but did you try for long and conceive naturally?

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Tabitha8 · 11/02/2009 17:12

Ah, long story for me. Conceived naturally - yes. However, this is my fourth pregnancy in 11 months (tell that to your specialist!) - I lost the first three and am now on Aspirin. Don't let that put you off. Just learn a little from it.

chuckeyegg · 11/02/2009 17:30

Congratulations Tabitha8, I'm 42 and would love another child. I had a baby at 2 months off 40 but that was concieved by IVF but I'm still hoping. I love good stories like this.

xx

Notintheknow · 11/02/2009 17:31

Can't comment myself but my sister conceived her second aged 42 - admittedly she'd had one other in her late 30s but still...

also my cousin conceived twin boys at 40 without any fertility treatment.

I know it's just anecdotal but it can happen!

Tabitha8 · 11/02/2009 17:42

So, what is the connection between having children earlier and getting pregnant again?

Original poster
bigbearsgirl · 11/02/2009 19:45

Thanks all
Tabitha8 I read an article that we keep reading about all these famous women getting pregnant in their 40s and that it gives other women the misguided belief that it is 'normal' for women in their 40s to conceive naturally but that this is not the case. It went on to say that these famous women most certainly had IVF using donor eggs (the donor eggs being from a much younger woman) and that the women we read about that conceive naturally in their 40's have already had children ie think Cherie Blair. The article seemed to intimate that a woman's body is more receptive to conceiving when she is older if she has previously given birth at a younger age. Well that was how I understood it anyway!

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Original poster
bigbearsgirl · 11/02/2009 20:33

P.S Tabitha8, I couldn't find those threads you recommended and I'd love to read them. I'm new to this but I used the 'search talk' box at the top of the page???

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fifitot · 11/02/2009 21:05

Got pg at 42 after 3 months trying (v hard). Had a mc unf but the following month got pg again! It's certainly not impossible but if I could afford it I would probably have gone for ivf, just to increase the chances.

Original poster
bigbearsgirl · 11/02/2009 21:13

3 months! Well Done! Hmmm I don't think we can afford IVF either, not to mention all the hormones etc
We've been trying very hard but what with it taking so long and now all the depressing news from the specialist I'm feeling a bit like I don't want to continue trying.

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madrose · 11/02/2009 21:16

just wanted to wish you all the best - we're trying too, but not much luck at the minute. good luck

Original poster
bigbearsgirl · 11/02/2009 21:17

Thank you madrose, good luck to you too.

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fruitbowl · 11/02/2009 22:47

Hi BigBearsGirl

Come and hang out with us fellow 40+ gorgeous ladies! We understand where you're at! x

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/656126-Ignoring-the-LIES-DAMNED-LIES-and-STATISTICS-Fies ty-amp-Fabulous

vesela · 12/02/2009 10:09

Tabitha8, I get the idea that the argument could be used of any age - someone who's, say, 29, is statistically less likely to be infertile if they had a baby at 26 than someone who's 29 and doesn't yet know what issues they have. I don't think it can be some sort of exclusively before/after 40 thing.

and congratulations!

Original poster
bigbearsgirl · 12/02/2009 12:02

Thanks fruitbowl! And Vesela that makes sense.

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upsydaisy45 · 12/02/2009 14:38

Baby no.1 at 43, all natural, after 20 years on the pill and then two years "letting nature have its way" but not especially trying. Conceived again soon after I stopped bf but that ended in a mmc at 8 weeks . With hindsight I think I had conceived at least once before having the first baby iyswim. By the way, my period was due yesterday so I'm getting nervous again....

Tabitha, thanks for the aspirin tip

I read somewhere that women may have a surge in fertility in their early 40s, a sort of last gasp before we hit the menopause. Probably rubbish but there you go.

Also my GP told me first time around that she saw more unplanned pregnancies in women over 40 than in teenagers and 20 somethings - so don't always believe what you read - but then that may just be where I lived at the time..

upsydaisy45 · 12/02/2009 14:41

I guess one serious point there is that it did take me two or three years to get my fertility back on track after all those years on the pill. We never considered IVF as we were comfortable leaving it to nature but I can see how you would go down that route.

It's funny but I feel much more strongly about trying for no.2 than I did with no.1.

sandyballs · 12/02/2009 14:42

I've heard that too upsydaisy - and often it results in a non identical, multiple birth as the body starts getting rid of its eggs more quickly.

Original poster
bigbearsgirl · 12/02/2009 14:55

Thanks Upsydaisy, all success stories welcome. I haven't been off the pill for quite two years yet and have noticed lots of changes in my body (that weren't there whilst on the pill) leading up to AF, some of which have led me to believe I was PG!! Some of these symptons are changing on a month by month basis and had acupuncture which did help with some pre-menstrual symptons. Hopefully my fertility will level out and in the meantime we'll just keep trying

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Tabitha8 · 12/02/2009 15:12

I always think that we should ignore any statistics out there and just look at our own situations. I'm told that over 40s have a 10% chance of conceiving every month. From where does that come? It certainly didn't relate to me. Perhaps it depends on what we do to get pg? Ovulation prediction kits, for example? Taking temps every morning to predict ovulation?
I see what you mean vesela about those statistics and thanks!

johana · 12/02/2009 15:30

Sorry no - I'm late 30's. Good luck xx

Original poster
bigbearsgirl · 12/02/2009 15:46

Tabitha8 - I know, I know!! I hate myself for reading this cr*p but just seem unable to stop myself sometimes. Statistics, schmatistics eh?!

I was just so shell shocked when the fertility specialist just bluntly announced we should strongly consider IVF that I think wanted to find a positive spin on t'internet...well THAT certainly backfired on me!

Have been using OV sticks etc for ages now but am tiring of this approach, it makes it all seem so clinical and desparate...which I am of course! May try and talk DP into BDing every other day or every three days for the whole month, every month, to cover all the bases.

Imagine! Having to talk him into BDing!

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Tabitha8 · 12/02/2009 16:02

I agree. You won't have to persuade him too much!

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/02/2009 16:12

my ex mb had 1st child at 44 and 2nd at 45 - both conceived at 1st attempt - db always joked about having super sperm and only had to look at mb

i am middle 30's - well getting towards upper end of 30's and ttc no1

good luck bigbearsgirl

tabitha - sorry to hear about the 3mc - what does the aspirin do - i know it thins the blood

Original poster
bigbearsgirl · 12/02/2009 16:18

Thanks BHMF! Wow 44! There is hope. Good luck to you too.

Tabitha8 - I wasn't being ironic...I really will have to talk him into it! He works shifts and it can be a nightmare.

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