TTC any which way DP CM BT OPK Grapefruit drinking ....

[C1NDY]

Hi everyone I have started a new thread... hope you like the new home, this is where it will all happen. (Cindy opens a bottle of champagne) Here's a drink to all and to our month ofthe BFP... .... baby dust all around ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry to hear about AF yellow and broodzilla (passes a large glass of wine apiece).

Jools - I know that all relationships are different, but dh and I have experienced the same thing several times over the years of ttc. On the occasions that dh has been willing to talk about it, the main issues have been...

1. That he was horrified to find out how much a miscarriage hurt him. It seems obvious to us that it is devastating, but he never expected it to hurt so much when it was so early and he wasn't the pregnant one.
2. That we wasn't ready to 'take the risk' again yet.
3. That sex had become simply about making babies. Like you, dh and I have never been swinging from the ceiling every 5 minutes and so, inevitably, we tend to only do the deed around the crucial time.
4. That I expected him to be in the mood when my body demanded (so frustrating this, as I can't help but see it as a 'wasted' chance ).

All I could do was back off for a month and try not to think about it too much out loud .

Now he's desperate for me to be pg again. MEN!

ooooooh I love snow!
Anyone else?

My wretched AF arrived with a vengence on Saturday morning. Full red gush which is not particularly normal for me. Then on Sunday morning I woke up is a sea of blood as AF had completely soaked through my tampon. Nice. It was very clotty today and I'm wondering if there was something perhaps going on. Whatever though as the end result is the same. Another f*cking month without conceiving. It's been nine now since last MC...DH said we should stop actively trying for a few months and have sex when we want to instead. I sort of agree...but then again...

yellow / broodzilla - sorry to hear AF got you both too. Lets hope one or all of us is luckier next month?!?! yellow - does sound like you had a CP...which while crap is good in that it shows your body began the process.

jools - I so know what you mean. Me and DH have been through some quite rough patches in the context of ttc. And I know how maddening it is to feel that you missed a month. Agree with funtime on all this completely. I guess you need to have a long chat together and talk about how the MC and ttc has affected you both and talk to him about how you feel. Buy a nice bottle of wine (particularly if there is no 2ww pressure) and have a romantic night in? lots of love to you. x

Happy Monday!

Queenie sorry AF got you, and by the sounds of it, with a vengeance too!

Yellow, we're completely snowless in the West. It's ok though, I prefer it that way!

Thanks for thinking of us wasabi and jools and thank you so much for the vino funtime!! Jools, sorry to hear what you're going through... I agree with funtime and wasabi, men do seem to deal with things differently. I know I for one want to talk things through, and in detail at that... (TTC is a prime example, I wanted to know all there is to know - well, as much as poss anyway - on the subject before I even started, and now I'm addicted to MN) Men are maybe more... verbally challenged... but that doesn't mean that things don't affect them. They just don't always know how to deal with it. (Of course, this doesn't apply to everyone!)

I just read Zita West's webchat on the front page, and one of the things she said was for us to NOT discuss TTC in detail with the men. She said that knowing every little detail about our bodies can be off-putting for them. I must say while I know it makes sense, I don't really agree. Why should we have to monitor and obsess and worry and them just have the fun part of BDing? Isn't it bad enough we already have to put up with the hormonal rollercoaster and AF every month... and, after hopefully successfully conceiving, we've got to birth the bean too.

Anyway. Sorry, didn't mean to rant. Just meant to say that he could just be feeling overwhelmed and not knowing how to cope and taking it out on you?

Also, as this is the forum for TMI and as I'm right in the middle of AF, just wanted to make sure you're all familiar with the Mooncup? It's the best thing since sliced bread and has made my AF so much more bearable. If you haven't already got one, get one!

Hi all, I am snowed in right now. Car won't budge so have decided to work from home and also to cuddle on the sofa with my dd. She is so excited about the snow but I am too tired to go out and make a snow man with her.

Sorry to hear about AF arriving for all three of you, it sounded very promising.

Sorry AF arrived ladies.

Jools i hope you and DP sort things out, may be corny but may just take a little time?

I'm in work but have to travel 40mins and where i live it's not looking good weather-wise so may be toddling off soon.

Take care ladies xxx

We have snow and ds can play in it for the first time in his life !

And dh's (away from home overnight) meeting has been cancelled, all good. Unfortunately, having offered advice to Jools dh and I had a major barny last night about lack of nookie at times other than ovulation. It will never be a big enough issue to destroy the relationship but it's putting it under a bit of strain .

Could we get our dh's/dp's together for a communal head-bashing session ?

P.S. sorry abou the grammar Jools, it was supposed to say 'he wasn't' not 'we wasn't' - wrist slapped!

We've had about 2 inches of snow over here since I last posted! It's like winter wonderland out there! (And despite what I said earlier, it IS rather beautiful...)

Morning guys,
Yes - it's very snowy here. I work on the southbank and the view of the snow over the Thames is beautiful. Go on Cindy - reckon you'll enjoy making a snowman today once you get out there - weather like this is made for kids :-) (remember all this TTC is about having the little lovelies to enjoy on days like this).
I am off to make the journey home - it took me nearly 2 hours to get here from where I live this morning (compared to my usual 1 hr 15 mins) and am dreading the trains being cancelled on the way home! Planning to work from home tomorrow.

Broodzilla I'm between two lands on this one. One in that I totally agree with you and when I was emotional the other day and crying over nothing my DH said "what can I do to help darling? I'll do anything" to which I replied - "OK, you be pregnant for the weekend so I can go out and laugh, cry and drink 3 bottles of Chardonnay with the girls, stay up till 4 in the morning and not be tired and then spend Sunday hungover in bed. I'll take the pregnancy back off you on Monday". We both laughed (me through my tears!). I also think "why does it have to be all down to us".
On the other hand I want my man to find me sexy, funny, alluring and not to know the ins and outs of everything. I hid the ovulation sticks from my husband while ttc and never wore so many stockings and suspenders and used seduction techniques and did everything I could not to mention ttc, ovulation, 2 week waits etc etc so to him the BFP was magical and a surprise (even though he knew we were trying he had no idea of the extent I was and had no knowledge of my cycle or anything like that). He was the "driver" for this baby by the way and wanted it probably more than me when we started (although of course that's not the case now). On a slightly different note I am worried about him seeing me give birth in case he thinks I'm not sexy anymore.........ahhh, how do we win? I want to be his sexy wife still - not just the mother of his child. How does this work?

Not a good weekend for a few people then Sorry to hear about all the AF's - I really though the law of averages would mean at least one person would get lucky

Thanks for all your comments - Funtime, I can really identify with what you were saying. I do need to get DP talking more but it is difficult as he is really not good at opening up and talking about his emotions. I never have talked about my cycle very much and never ever tell him we need to BD because I am ovulating - figure that would be the worst turnoff ever

I reckon I should also start my seduction techniques a little earlier next month (can't bear it during AF)so that it looks more spontaneous

I was hating the thought of only having the next cycle, and then maybe having to refrain because of not wanting a Christmas baby - but then my nephew was a Xmas day arrival and doesn't seem to have suffered for it, and the roads will be empty if I need to get to hospital in a hurry !

Am sat at home pretending to work, but secretly wishing I could borrow someone's toddler and go and make snow angels / build a snowman Lots of the cold white stuff in Hertfordshire...

sorry about af queenie.

I made snowman this am then had work this pm. Keep putting bread out for the birds and it gets covered up before they eat it.

Southbank must be pretty today becky

Right ladies - February will be our month, I am sure of it!

My ds (aged 2) has been so excited today I think that he might actually pop. When he was too cold to play outside mummy made some biscuits (selflessly, obviously) so today was probably his perfect day.

So easily pleased, how it will all change when he's a teenager .

We've had another heavy fall of snow in the last couple of hours. Is it too sad for dh and I to sneak out and build a snowman when ds has gone to bed ?

Ooooh what a day. Queenie - sorry you got the evil witch too.

Buggeration - this hasn't been a good month.

The whole business of how to handle ttc without going into so much detail you frighten dh/dp is a difficult one. Becky - your approach is great if you have the energy! And indeed body confidence. I love my ds dearly but the cs scar and that lovely little pouch that hangs over it means by stockings and suspenders days are behind me. I don't have an issue with dh seeing me naked but the idea of packaging myself now makes me feel daft!! I do try to wear nice undies for my confidence as much as his enjoyment but thats about as far as it goes!
How your dh reacts to the birth is anyones guess but I think most men just become in awe of their wives. I think they get over the gore pretty quickly and think you are a goddess for the service you have rendered. Which, frankly, you are.

Dh and I have vowed to have more sex all the time rather than just key times of the month. After my cycle gets back to normal I might even bin the OPK's. Might. I was going to do it before I got my BFP so I should continue really.

Hope everyone's week improves.

Wasabi xx

And yes, ds has had a lovely time in the snow! He looked so cute in his wellies, duffel coat and hot pottering around with his wheelbarrow and spade. And then daddy came home from work early which was a brucie bonus for him.

Funtime - I think I was more excited when I saw the snow this morning than ds! If you want to make a snowman now he should still be there in the morning!

We've got no more forecast now

Know what you mean wasabi. I feel a complete lemon going for the posh bra and pants with my post ds belly, ectopic scars and wobbly cellulite. Mmmm, nice .

Why can't babies be conceived by magic like I believed when I was 5 ? I'm just fed up with all the faff!

Yeah - all the snow fun sounds great! I'm working from home tomorrow as is hubby so I might see if I can talk him into making a snowman and that will be only for our own benefit so no funtime I certainly do not think you're sad!
Like that wasabie - might become my new mantra - "you will see me for the godess I am!"
Girls - I am sure I will feel the same way as you by baby 2! But I will be repeating my mantra so will be fine :-)
Christmas baby would be nice Jools! I think there's plus and minus of all times of year.

morning all - is snowtastic in London still

My work shut again today (I could have made it in easily - I did yesterday - but was all shut...) So instead I have been out walking the dog since 7am he insane with delight at the snow

New from me is not really very interesting - no AF so far... but been feeling like AF is on the way (massive choc craving yesterday and cramps - but they gone for now).

Am not going to do a test tho - cos last month was a long 32 day cycle.. adn whilst normal for me is 27 day - am only CD29 today.. so AF prob on way..

Am finding the lure of the tests in the bathroom hard to resist tho..

oooh iggy - fingers crossed. Maybe one eensy weensy test... (I am bad, ignore me!)

I'm in London too and office closed. Going to have long bath then potter!

I am going to have long bath too

Then am going to go to supermarket - how exciting

I might give in yellow - but am convinced will be negative... might do one tomorrow first thing if no AF by then...

Becky I made a wonderful snowman with the help of my sister!! Am in work today (sigh)

Started to feel a little tired and am craving red onions which I just have taken with some salad just this moment ago (at 10:30am) everyone in the office are wondering what i am doing eating onion early in the morning!! hehehe!

Iggy Let me know how you get on with the test.

Oooh, iggy I too am bad and want you to test (and then I'll feel really horrible and guilty if you're disappointed) so I'm stuffing my mouth with biscuits to keep me quiet !

Still nice and snowy here. Ds goes to nursery one day a week as he loves it and I get work done, but I might ignore the bathroom (again ) and give in to the urge to plant some early peas and cauliflowers.

Also starting on the ov sticks this evening. It's been so long since I used one, I'll probably be back here asking what the lines mean .

Wasabi How are you doing?? have you started bd?

She might be too 'busy' to reply !