Ignoring the LIES, DAMNED LIES, and STATISTICS: Fiesty & Fabulous 40+ers TTC

[xserialshopper]

Open to all 40+ers TTC.

We're friendly - not cliquey (sp?) and would love to know you{smile]

Spring is on the way .... !

< skips a bit (lumpishly though) >

Hello everyone - and welcome RnR (good name!)

Thanks for all of the kind words in my grumpishness. On about day 3 I realised what it was all about. This week (can't say exactly when, but I'm guessing my subconscious knew) would have been the due date from my m/c last August. Bah, bah and bah.

Fruitbowl, sorry to hear your news, but hope that a BFP, however slight, is an omen of better things in the future.

And can I ask a q of all of you who have been to your doctors about this - are you all thinking of some kind of assisted conception in the future? I don't think we'd go down that road, and so I am not sure that the GP can then tell me anything which would help. But perhaps I am wrong about that.

Bless COC you are gambolling (almost) like a newborn lamb.
VSF, I have had all the tests and, as you have probably gathered, am now going for IVF.
I have blocked tube on side, possible damage on other (apparently it is likely if one is damaged the other has some damage.
Recently, may have discovered that I don't release eggs every cycle and am prone to cysts (theoretically).

Spring is indeed on the way (trying to do her best lamb impression complete with collapsable legs!)

And even if Spring isn't quite here, we have enough sugar and caffeine in all that yummy choc to get us going, eh girls??

Ta for your feedback about the bloggy. I just found an absolute treasure trove of links to hundreds upon hundreds of other ladies blogging about TTC if anyone's interested:

stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/2006/06/whole-lot-of-blogging-brought-to-you.html
you gotta laugh at the name "stirrup queens and sperm palace jesters" and she also runs a book club called "barren bitches"!!!

Nice to see you again COC (childish guffaw at rude name!)

VSF I went to the GP in the spirit of having all the available tests just so I could make an informed decision about what the next step might be. In my case, the tests did actually throw up some specific probs that I wouldn't have known about otherwise. So I'm glad I went even though IVF / IUI isn't for me at the mo.

(can you just check if I have chocolate round my mouth?)

Hello lovely ladies, I've been in hiding for a few weeks after a huge surge of what's-the-pointishness. Culminated yesterday with the arrival of AF, 4 days late which never happens, and now have cramps across back which also isn't usual, so may be a very early mc or some other thungummies. So I've come crawling back for some of your wisdom and wit to cheer myself up. Having just read through everything I've missed for the last month, wow, are some of you having a crappy time - big hugs to you all. Let's get ready for our first spring BFP!

We're going for IVF, although that's contributed to my recent case of the glooms. We have to go private as I'm 41. We were referred to a Harley Street clinic by our hybrid NHS/private consultant, and the address gave me hope, but when we visited it last week it seemed pretty shambolic and unprofessional, which sent us into a panic. Added to which my FSH is high at 15 which puts us in the donor egg category, which we really don't want, as we have no children of our own. My doc prescribed HRT to get the levels down, but I'm very unconvinced that this is a credible treatment - it won't improve my ovarian response rate. Is he a cowboy or a genius? Discuss. for extra points, does it matter if your IVF clinic doesn't have egg collection facilities and you have to go round the corner for that bit? Time starts now...

I get my new FSH results tomorrow and if they've come down will have to decide whether to go with this clinic this cycle, or look for another one, argh! Rowing, is there a website for your Hungarian clinic?

Someone was asking about alcohol habits - I've read that drinking at all can damage your fertility as it makes the body take up energy to deal with the toxins rather than grow eggs, so I've cut that out since the start of January, along with switching pretty much to organic food, cutting right down on red meat, rattling with supplements (I so hear you about the flourescent wee!), no tea/coffee, not much sugar (apparently insulin spikes aren't good for our hormone levels either, whaddya know) and going to the gym about 4 times a week. And acupuncture and having a hot pack on my tummy in the first 2 weeks to get blood headed to the ovaries. And BDing every 2 days most of the month and every day for the middle 4 days. And polishing my halo is getting very tiring, I can tell you! In the words of DH, all we can do is everything!

But I might be able to risk one of those green and blacks choccie bars!!!

Bloody hell Bumpless - you deserve a medal! I don't do half of that.

Yes we really need some bfps to cheer us up! Welcome RnR btw.

Well managed to bd without any preseed or anything else - but ta for your suggestions ladies. On again tonight but preseed has arrived so no worries there. Gawd - it's a drag isn't it. I feel like asking DH if he minds if I watch the telly over his shoulder!!!!

Re Donor eggs - know nothing of the process and since I already have a DD won't be going down the assisted conception route but my SIL had a child through donor egg and had no probs at all. This after about 5 ivf cycles with her own eggs.

Good luck to us all!!!! xxx

Yes wow bumpless! You def deserve a big gold star (stick it on your halo for extra sparkle). You really have covered everything and you certainly should be rewarded for all your hard work if there is any justice in this world.

I'm afraid I dunno about your IVF questions but I'm sure there'll be some other responses soon. But for now, in the spirit of "a little of what you fancy..." (passes a selection of green n blacks) x

Bump you rock! You are a paragon of TTC virtues, I talk the talk, but you are definitely walking the walk all the way to the gym. I think a tiny choccie bar (insulin spike) might be in order. One of those yucky ones with 100% cocoa solids and twigs in.
FSH levels can vary, 15 can become 6, it is heard of. I was doing a bit of panic reading because my FSH has gone up, and there have been cases of treatment with some drug or other which lowered the FSH and led to pregnancy. Don't give up because of the stoopid FSH. Plus your eggs sound as if they are top of the range organic extra large, so even if there are fewer they could all be goodies. Do a bit of reading on FSH there are lots of stories on the web.
You are probably doing this, but wheatgrass, anecdotally lowers FSH for some people.
Can I also ask, are you taking the gaba, htp-5 and the amino acids? If so what are the dosages?
I have been taking some and I suspect they are making me feel a bit odd sometimes.
Apparently over-supplementing with amino acids can lead to nausea and tiredness and it's not great for the poor old kidney having to deal with them.
Strangely, the clinic has disappeared, but I will try to find the details. Not very reassuring.

Bump, I am overwhelmed with admiration at your dedication to the cause. Fruitbowl is right - if there is any justice in this world you will be rewarded.

Feeling like I'm failing on the alcohol front. Do really well when DH is away but when he's home it all goes pete tong.

HI All,

Think we may have all perked up just a little ? Hope very much that those who were feeling are more cheerful now. Maybe those virtual chocs worked (any left ? - if so bung us another turkish delight ?)

I know how you feel juicy I'm a few days into the 2WW and really, really fancy a glass of wine ! But I will be strong...ish.

Wow Bumpless - I am so impressed. Your efforts deserve to be rewarded many times over.

VSF - I have been to my GP who arranged a day 21 progesterone and referred us to a gynae doc. We will go and see her and then make a decision as to wether IVF etc. is an option depending on further investigations. Not sure it is to be honest but we will see when the time comes. I worry about the chance of success at my age, but then again ... nothing ventured etc...etc....!

hello everyone...have been trying to be less pg obsessed so have not been posting this week...hope the masses of chocolate that's been consumed over the past couple of days has been of some comfort...i'll put in an order for green and blacks butterscotch

i am feeling a bit guilty having read about bump's amazing efforts...chocolate is currently a daily fixture and i am drinking up to OV......in fact I can feel a nice glass calling me now as only have a couple of days left for indulging

unlike juicy - for me it's DH not being around that is driving me to the drink; he's working ridiculous hours at the moment - he didn't get in till after 4 last night - it's been going on for a few weeks now and as we've only been married a few months i'm really missing him ....it's always the way isn't it, either you can't get rid of them or you can't get them to come home!

i also feel a bit out of my depth with the amount of knowledge and options that you guys discuss.....i'm not sure if i should be doing absolutely everything possible or just making sure to bd at the right time and chill for a bit...it's only our 2nd cycle ttc and i did manage to conceive recently (mc), but being 40 and having had the mc makes me worry.....my gp said don't do anything yet even basic blood tests, but i'm not sure....what does everyone think?

btw rowing - after what you said about tiredness stopped taking the amino acids. I'm knackered most of the time anyway (DS non sleeping 20mth old), so can't say I noticed a difference, but didn't want to take any chances!

Good heavens Bump! Can't begin to aspire to such dedication, however will try, but I need a chocolate first! Pass the whirls girls if there are any left.

Can't remember who was asking about HRT being a good way to get FSH lower, I don't know about this. Sounds like your doc could have done better explaining the rationale. As rowing said though, FSH does change naturally with time, up and down. I think you're right it doesn't tell you, as far as I know, about egg quality, just is an indication of how hard the ovaries are working to produce eggs.

Spring is on the way COC! Was going to ask what RL was, then realised! I was wondering about where our originator had gotten to .

Beamel, I've not had any red lines yet, how many days did you plot? I think I may be doing the temping think in a slap-dash fashion (don't read this bump!) as I quite often wake half an hour earlier than the alarm due to the cat/the dawn/the snoring from dp. I think there is a way of adjusting for eventualities, but not sure about this?

vsf, I have done a lot of looking at treatment options recently. Have now settled for DE plan without trying own eggs first, because of (heh hem!)my advanced years, and (heh hem!) reduced circumstances. Now all I need to do is convince dp of the paramount importance of an investment of £7G ish for a success rate of 1/5. This is quite a mission, but I intend to adopt Bump's attention to detail in order to achieve full sign up within 6 months.(pass the box! and the bars! and best pass the virtual bottle too if I can't have another drink for a couple of years!)

LS poor you missing your DH. Do you find it hard to sleep without him?
Ah the heady days of having TTC for only 2 cycles. It really is very early days for you, but it is hard. If you can put more of a 'business as usual' head on, it helps protect your sanity slightly more.
Regarding the knowledge, I hope you don't ever need it and conceive very quickly, this has been hard earned.
Re the booze - I think the only way to seriously stop the booze is to go cold turkey. I used to drink quite a bit, but mainly when I was out, but now, nothing and I am so out of the habit that I don't think about it.
You could tell yourself it is a filthy habit, like giving up smoking. Hey that's it, start smoking instead - er..hmm! [troubled face]
When I stopped smoking I did used to think about my lungs being all yucky, maybe if you think about your liver being all yellow or something it will get you past the craving.
And to help what about buying something nice to drink that has no alcohol aren't there alcohol free beers and wines.
Or get the flippin' blokes to stop in sympathy, if the catalyst is them, then they have to do their bit for their future children. Yes, I like it!

latestarter - must admit I told a white lie to my GP to get the tests done. Told him I'd been trying 12mths, when it had in fact only been 6 and DH had been away 2-3mths of that. I wanted to know if there was a problem and not waste time. However, having tests done can be stressful for some and add pressure just when you're trying not to get stressed about the whole process.

Re the mc - remember 1 in 3 pg's end in mc, and not just for the over 40's. recurring mc's are the point to start worrying at. Not that it stops you worrying when you do get pg again (had mc myself before DS).

These are just my ramblings so feel free to ignore! Sure others will have different points to make.

nanbread - I started temping on day 5 and got my red lines on day 18. The computer decided I ov'd on day 15 but it needs to see three days of high temps before it will register it and give you your lines.
I was a bit worried about my temping but actually when the thermal shift happened it was quite obvious. In fact sleep disturbance and taking my temp at slightly different times doesn't seem to make much difference to my temps.
I gather correcting your temps is frowned upon, FF seem to think it causes more problems that it solves.
How many days have you recorded so far ?

Latestarter - its a difficult one. We have only been ttc for 3 months but I am a bit older (43) so decided to ask for the referral pretty much straight away. I just want to be able to make an informed decision about how far to take this in terms of investigations and assisted conception (prob not very !). It just depends if you feel ready for the 'medicalisation' of your ttc yet ! Good luck !

Spring is coming !

Gee shucks girls I think I may be coming over as slightly more of a paragon than I actually am. Hey, these virtual chocs are nice though - a roomy glass of Rioja to accompany them, anyone? mmmm can't you just taste that sunshine...

Latestarter, I certainly wouldn't want to panic you, but my experience would be not to wait too long before checking bloods etc! I thought all the general stuff about the time it takes to conceive naturally was a signal to be patient, and in fact it was costing me time because my fertility happened to be heading south. Yours might not be - really hope not - but if it is you're better off knowing in time to get help! Maybe loads of healthy living and BDing for 6 months as a prolonged honeymoon and then an MOT?

Rowing, come to think of it, I felt knackered and terrible for most of January. I put it down the stress about everything, but I did start taking amino acids around then too I feel much better now, but think I'll stop and see what happens! I was taking 1000mg Lysine and 500mg Tyrosine in the morning, and 50mg 5-HTP in the evening. Actually, I like that last one, it's a great stress-buster and helps me sleep, so maybe I'll carry on with just that. Like you, I find I don't miss wine much (really! sob!) but if you want an image to really bring in the willpower, think of a Karen Matthews-type mother giving a baby a swig out of a beer bottle, it'll put you right off that drinkypoo!

Oh yeah (don't seem to be able to hold enough thoughts in my head to write complete posts at the mo, doh!) Nanbred, it was me who was given HRT to get my FSH levels down. It worked - got my results back today and it had plunged from 15 to 3.5. Very likely to be completely irrelevant but cheered me up anyway, enough to start this IVF cycle, at least!

Congratulations Bump, my giddy aunt that was quick! Your doc doesn't fanny about does he?! Can you ask him which hormone it was, (if you get chance)?, might be good for all of us with highish levels. Here's hoping for this cycle with you, sending lots of +ve thoughts your way.

vsf I just realised that I had completely overlooked the first part of your post, which is shocking of me considering my own experiences of 2 losses. I hope you are feeling a tiny bit more together just now. This, I know, takes a long time. I still have really bad days now, 16 months since. Thinking of you, and feeling for you too fruit.

Bump - Thud! (faints) That is an amazing 'hit' on the FSH. That is not so much a lowering as a stomping down.
I have some yucky 1000 mg amino acid tablets, but I have been cutting them into bits with a sharp knife so they are between 100 - 200 mg. I think morning is best for them.
I agree the htp-5 is the biz for having a lovely sleep.
The GABA I bought is 600 mg, so I have been opening the capsule and sprinkling a little bit in milk. What a faff! [rolls eyes].
Just took one agnus castus, because I don't think I am back to normal after the cyst. Hopefully, get everything back on track soon, but I'm not sure these day 3 and the day 21 bloods will be very accurate, I'm sure I'm a bit off after my 37 day cycle last month.

thanks for your comments....feeling REALLY guilty now re the drinking!

might go for the tests in a month or two, funnily enough i have the blood request for FSH etc as a GP gave it to me some time ago as I said I was thinking about trying and and wanted to get a handle on my fertility - no problem - funny now that I am actually trying their recommendation is don't bother! but I have the paperwork and it's not dated, so should be able to use it....in the meantime i think i will try and 'enjoy' the process as much as possible and not overthink it....something i am especially proficient at

congrats bump on the FSH drop, I had no idea it could come back down so much....good luck

DH still going to be in the bloody office all weekend and I can't even be cranky at hime as he's had to cancel a good friend's wedding today and the poor darling is completely exhausted and wont get a rest any time soon.

i hope everyone else is going to have a much more interesting weekend.

Late, don't feel guilty, heavens, you probably deserve a glass or two (we all do!) and I'm just going over the top... DH has just made me my fave pretend cocktail, a virgin sunrise (orange and cranberry with a shake of angostura bitters) - it helps to still have a cocktail hour, even without the good bit! Booooooo about your poor DH neglecting you all WE and being married to his job. Maybe you should go shopping, that'll teach him!

Rowing, you sound much more organised than me on the supplement front!

Having been all excited about the FSH result, I'm increasingly convinced it's neither here nor there and just the extra drugs talking! Nanbred, they were cyclo-progynova, apparently a standard HRT formula .

Vsf, no wonder you're feeling . weird how our bodies keep count even when we don't. I hope extra nice things are happening to you this weekend.

LS - poor you. Have you got anything planned? Nice DVD to watch. You can't beat an old film on a Saturday afternoon.
I have a four year olds birthday party tomorrow, it's teatime so there might be lots of party rings and sausage rolls. (discreetly puts large carrier bag into pocket)
VSF how are you? Are you feeling OK about the due date? You are allowed to feel sad about this, you don't have to be brave here.
Bump - there has been research about lowering FSH with drugs and subsequent pregnancies. You asked for the website of the clinic in Hungary this is it here. It is a terrible website isn't it!
I am just organising an appointment - he offered me the 20th March, but I am trying to get earlier.
Ooo, perhaps you could take the one on the 20th, then you could be in Hungary when I a there, and I won't be trying to strike up conversations with Hungarian bus drivers out of lonliness 'will you be my friend?' 'Eh?'