Just need some hope - ttc#2 for 19 months

[Nappyhead]

Hi everyone - like a lot of people here I'm just looking for a bit of hope.

We've been ttc#2 for 19 months. All preliminary tests are fine. DS was conceived naturally nearly 4 years ago - it took a while to fall pregnant but nothing out of the ordinary.

I have just started accupuncture - I've had 3 sessions.

I am 35. We are about to be referred to a fertility specialist but we both feel that we can't go through IVF. We have lots of friends who have - and it has been so gruelling and sometimes so heartbreaking.

Will IVF be our only hope?

I know no one will have the answer as we are all different but it would be so reassuring to hear of similar experiences.

Thank you x

what have you tried so far? Tell me and I'll see if I can offer some ideas- I have officially tried everything!!

Sometimes, in fact most of the time, being proactive can make you feel so much more positive and make you feel that you are actually doing something rather than letting what will be, be- sometimes you just have to work hard to get there!

What tests have you had? what did they show?

Nappyhead - we had trouble conceiving dc2 after conceiving dd and a second pregnancy (which ended in m/c) v. easily. I was referred to a fertility clinic where all tests showed no problems. I decided to give clomid a go (consultant gave me a choice of trying clomid first which she didn't think would help or having a laparoscopy) in the hope of avoiding more invasive tests and it worked first cycle. I am 20 weeks pregnant. It took 2 years.

I so know what you are going through - we thought we were well in the last chance saloon before IVF but we thankfully managed to avoid it.

Good luck - its a terrible time.

Thanks so much for replying!

I had day 3 and day 21 blood tests (way back in April!) which showed I am ovulating.

Post ovulation progesterone was 84.
FSH was 5.9.

I had low iron levels but this has been rectified now with iron tablets. I have very heavy periods so had an internal scan to rule out fibroids - that was all clear too.

I'm taking a vitamin B6 complex thing and 2 other supplements recommended to me by my accupuncturist plus chinese herbs that she suggested too.

I've been using ov tests and temp charting so I know when I'm ovulating and have been doing serious BDing on the 'right' days.

You are right about being proactive - starting the accupuncture has felt like a step in the right direction and has made me feel better. I think I expected it to happen so easily - why I should be so lucky goodness only knows!

Any advice would be so welcome.

xx

I have a friend who has been ttc#1. Took her 18 months including one mc at 10 weeks, but she goes for her 12 week scan tomorrow. Hope that's the sort of thing you need to hear. BTW she's 37.

Personally I'm ttc#1 through DI which is the same process as IUI, so if you need to know anything about that ask away.

Has your husband had any tests? its not always the woman you know!!!

To be on the safe side, he should take some general multivits and cut out/down on alcohol and smoking, just to be sure. It takes 100 days for sperm production to improve so you do have to be patient.

Acupuncture is an excellent step- even if it doesnt help with conceiving, it makes you feel so relaxed and that can only be a good thing. It might be worth trying to time one months treatment in with your cycle- one treatment when your period is heavy (there is a certain treatment that can be done at this time that helps your womb to clear itself), one treatment at ovulation and one treatment around the time of implantation to help your womb accept an egg. Speak to your acupuncturist about this- my acupuncturist planned a month of this treatement for me and I got pregnant. May be coincidence but who knows?

Also, take a look at Zita Wests 'how to get pregnant'- excellent book, very positive and totally sensible.

Have you also heard of the Deanna plan? Its a plan of when to have sex for couples with no fertility problems. Basically it is just sex as often as possible to cover all bases to make sure sperm meets egg!! The Deanna plan says to have sex every other day from day 8, start OPKs on day 10, sex every day for 3 days from positive OPK then skip a day then one more shag for luck, then rest. Apparently it has a good success rate but I just think that lots of sex will do that!! lots of sex is also good for sperm health- the month we had sex every day I conceived.

Also, make sure you are doing enough to increase your fertile secretions (EWCM)- dont smoke, dont take antihistamines, 2 litres of water a day, starflower oil capsules (1 a day) and eat oatmeal in the morning.

Good supplements to take are vitamin e (natures secret fertility ingredient), a good multivit and obvipously vit b6, which you already take, for lengthening LP.

Dont worry about legs in air after sex but dont get up for half an hour after sex.

And i know lots of people say relax, and I wont say that but I will say- There is no reason for it not to happen and when you accept what will be will be, you usually find it happens. As long as you are doing all you can what more can you do?

Also, do not worry too much about your age. Its good that you are taking steps to get help, but time is on your side really. 35 is not old in ttc terms.

hope this helps

Sorry, I can't give you a nice positive story, but can say you are not alone (and you're 4 years younger than me, which must go in your favour!)

Have been ttc #2 for 22 months. Did have a few sessions of acupuncture, and some disgusting herbal tea to drink, but it was actually quite painful for me, so I stopped going. I have been referred and have been told it's 'unexplained secondary infertility' which is really helpful

I have also had an HSG test (dye up through the cervix to see if fallopian tubes are clear - had emergency cs with ds and this can cause problems, apparently). I have just also had AMH bloods done (waiting for result) which should give me a better idea of what my egg reserve is like. I had to have both of those done privately.

Sorry it's not a more positive post, but I know what you're going through and as mummy2olivia said, 35 isn't that old (I was 35 when ds was conceived, and that only took 3 months). Your egg quality should still be ok, whereas I have been told that even if I have a good reserve, the quality may be poor, which could be why we haven't been sucessful.

Oh I have a positive story too- A friend of mine took 6 years to conceive- he had duff sperm, she had high FSH- but do you know what? they did it.

even people with awful, awful odds do it- why shouldnt you?? tell yourself that.

Positive visualisation is also very good.

Thank you for the brilliant advice mummy2olivia. I'll look up the Deanna plan - I've never heard of it. Will start taking vit E too. My DH's sperm tests were fine.

MrsMopple - I had an emergency cs with DS and have wondered whether this has caused a problem - my doctor says not - but I still wonder...

Issy42 and Wheelybug - thank you for the positive stories - just what I needed. You are very kind for taking the time to reply.

xx

If your husbands results were fine and you are ok then there is even more reason to believe that it WILL happen!!!

Good luck

I conceived ds1 after 2 months but ds2 took 20 months.

I had two lots of blood tests and had just been referred to assisted conception clinic when i found out i was pregnant.

I totally sympathise with you as found ttc no 2 very stressful. I'd also had an emergency c-section with DS1 and an infection afterwards and worried that had done some damage.

We tried everything and bizarrely the month we conceived actually had a lot less sex as DH was away for a lot of it.

I won't offer any solutions as i know i got a bit fed up of all the 'relax and it'll happen' stuff people would say to me but good luck.

another positive story- a friend of mine waited 3 years for number 1. Has just phoned me in tears to say she is expecting number 2- number 1 is only 8 months old!

Her analogy is- babies are like buses! you wait ages for 1 and 2 come at once!!

So you will either have twins when it does happen or 2 close together and will wonder what all the fuss was!!!

Heres hoping!