really wnat another baby

[madame]

I have been trying to conceive for 2 years. I have one dd 3 yrs old. It took 2 years to conceive her and 2 miscarriages along the way.

I have just taken a course of clomid for 3 months and had blod tests to check whether I was ovualting. I received a letter today to say that my results were some what low and that they would discuss it at my next appoitment, next Wednesday.

I am afraid that they are just going to suggest a higher dose of clomid, the last course I took made me feel auful, bloated all the time and generally rubbish. We have discussed that we would have IVF or whatever is the most suitable for us at some point if we needed to.

My feelings are to go for the IVF now as the thought of taking clomid for another 6 months fills me with dread. My husband however wants me to take the clomid and wait the 6 months. I am 38 and really want to try to have another baby now. I feel I have been through enough and just want to give it the best shot.

Any advice or thoughts please......

Madame I din't want your post to go unanwsered as you sound really fed up and incredibly sad. I can totally empathise with your feelings as I too am desperate for another baby. We've been ttc No3 for a year now on and off. I had a mmc in Nov and a m/c in March. Started ttc last month after 4months off to get my head back together again. I'm 38 as well and wondering whether time is running out.

Whilst I haven't been in your situation re: the drugs. I think it might be worthwhile to sit down with your DH and really explain to him how you are feeling and how awful the clomid is making you feel. If you feel that IVF is the way forward and the funds are there for you to proceed then maybe that's the best course of action for you. It's not fair to make you take drugs that are making your life intolerable. That said, I guess you'll be taking a lot of drugs for the IVF. But would these be bearable becuase there might be a baby at the end of it?

I think the key is communication. I really hope that he listens to you and I really hope that whatever you decide to do, you get the result that you so desperately want. Good luck. xx

thank you for your post.

I sometimes think your post on mums net has to be really contraversal before you get a reply. Any problem that doesn't appear to be a juicy problem one goes unanswered. So thanks for your support.

Madame it's partially about controversy and partially about being a 'famous' mumsnetter. It's ok, no one ever responds to me, either!

I think taking clomid for another 6 months is a really bad idea. The latest study, published a month ago, showed that women were MORE likely to have a pregnancy just trying naturally than they were on clomid. It simply doesn't help if you are already ovulating without it.

IVF ups your chances dramatically. Given your age I'd say go straight to IVF. Your chance of conceiving each month at your age will be approx 10% or so. On clomid maybe 12%, on IVF more like 30% (depending on other factors). It makes a huge difference. Go for it.

hi madame

i dont have any knowledge of clomid but i am ttc DC2 and i'm 39. its tough waiting to conceive with your age hanging over you. can you discuss this with your doc and explain your feelings? if i was in your shoes i would probably want to skip the clomid and go straight to IVF. tho i believe IVF can make you feel pretty wierd?

madame be patient on here, lots of nice people on mumsnet, and just a few scary ones . i always have to wait a bit for an answer, usually cos i post when everyone else's having breakfast!

Hi madame

Fridays and the weekend as a whole tend to be "quieter" on MN; I've only just seen your initial post. Many MNers are nice people generally speaking.

As you have been ttc for 2 years now without luck it is likely that there is a problem with either one or both of you. Has your DH been tested at all to see if there are any male factor problems?. He should be tested at the same time as you are being tested now.
If he has not been tested to date then this should be done asap.

If both of you can go along to the appointment on Wednesday so much the better. I would not go alone to this appointment if at all possible. Apart from anything else moral support is vitally important.

Giving you clomid seemingly without a diagnosis beforehand was not a good idea.
You need a DIAGNOSIS first and foremost, you cannot and should not just focus on one other possible treatment option. What if you were told that IVF was not an option?.

Going straight from clomid to IVF is too big a jump - there are other treatments that can be tried first off. IVF is very much a last resort and it may also be that you will not need IVF at all. I would see what they say about all of this on Wednesday; in the meantime compile a list of questions you want to ask. You do not want to leave there thinking, "oh I should have asked about ...".

Were you monitored at all whilst on clomid?. No monitoring if this is the case was not ideal at all, it also means that you have no idea whether its doing the job or not (clomid's main function is to make the ovaries work harder). The side effects you saw with this are actually quite common. You should also be fully conversant with both why and how all these tests are carried out. It is also vitally important that the three of you can work as a team.

HTH a bit, good luck for Wednesday.

Attila

thank you so much all of you, you have restored my faith. I was about to give up on mums net as I felt quite deflated by it all.

thaliablogs can you tell me where I may be able to read that report?

Thank you, I am going to talk to my husband and get some questions down.