IT'S OFFICIAL! THE WAGONERS ARE WITHOUT DOUBT THE LUCKIEST TTC'ers EVER!-SIGN UP FOR YOUR BFP

[sorkycake]

Hi again guys, I seem to have kicked off an interesting discussion this morning. I agree that 30 seems to be the age that a lot of women decide to start trying. Personally, I get concerned about all the stuff which says fertility drops sharply after 30.....so this is one of the reasons for starting now. But I guess you can't believe everything you read...

Maybe it depends when you meet your partner. Friends of ours have been together for 2 years and are now trying for a family and they are 34 & 36 yo.

We both went to Uni, got jobs and bought a house, had a huge wedding and started our family aged 26/27 so I think it's possible (or was given previous economic climate), but we're childhood sweethearts since 17yo so we'd been together for 10 years before we had a family.

Your rent is crazy! When we buy next door and convert into one house the mortgage will be £1000 per month, but we'll have a 5 bed, 3 bath, 7 reception roomed house for that

I would've liked to have started at 30 - we started just after I turned 31. And now I'm inching towards 32... Seriously where has the beginning of this year gone?

I would've actually ahve loved to have started much earlier, but if I'm honest, we were never really ready. We're barely ready now. We had more than a year of us living in separate countries and then me moving over here and trying to get established, plus the financial blow of two transatlantic moves which meant it took us longer to save up a deposit for our flat - and it's only one bedroom at the moment!

Which brings me to my vent! DH came home last night to find the builder (we're extending our flat so that we can have a second bedroom) absolutely flat out wasted! DH said it took him about five minutes just to tie his shoes, he was so drunk. Needless to say he's off the job, and luckily his boss had two new guys in today who arrived promptly at 8 and started to clean up what the other two had been doing. We had been wondering why progress had been moving so slowly and actually found a bag of empty beer cans but gave them the benefit of the doubt that they were just cracking one open at the end of the day. Apparently they weren't. Someone was even sick in our bathroom

In addition I wanted 4 children from the outset and didn't particularly want to have them in my 30's with all the associated increased risks.

We'd originally hoped to have had the family complete by the time we were 30, but it was a tight timescale (Dh's ) and realistically it simply wasn't possible given we didn't conceive Dd until 10 months after first ttc.

We tried again when she was 10 months thinking we might have a wait on our hands again (but hopeful that the first year of increased fertility thing would hold true, it did, 2 weeks later I tested +ve with ds1.
With Ds2 I came off the pill and tested +ve 11 days later.
I'm not sure my fertility has declined really now I'm nearly 34, but I did think it would.

I think 26-29 is the best time if possible and the circumstances are right obviously, but they often aren't, we've just been a bit lucky.

LBOT that is outrageous You must have been fuming!

Sorky - similar to you DH and I meet when I was 17, he was 21, so we've had 8 years just us, so it feels like it is the right time to have a child. Feel lucky that we've had that length of time to focus on each other. I have friends who are single and 26/28 who want children but don't even have the man yet - that must be really tough.

LBOT that is disgraceful!! How do they know the work they're doing is safe if they're drunk!?!

Cosmo I bet it is hard, esp when your clock starts ticking loudly.
A girl I work with had a child with a man she was with for a very short time, she admitted she didn't want a relationship but that he had all the qualities she would like her son's father to have, patient kind, gentle (unfortunately he also had no job, little education and other ishoos).
It didn't bother her that they wouldn't be together (he sees his son everyday but they don't live together) as she was planning to use a donor the following year anyway as she was 43!

where's the list? Is it only Moos and Geordiejogger on the wagon atm?

LB I do the Davina workout through pregnancy and pilates but not a special class. I also meditate/practice Reiki which is fab!

I'm thinking of following the Gowri Motha pregnancy regime, has anyone tried it?

I just wrote a huge thing going on about nothing!! i just did pilates while pg with my 2 and did the 'pump it up' fitness dvd afterwards, thinking i'll do my natalie cassidy one through the pregnancy and probably afterwards too.... do it 2x a week currently,will probs reduce to 1xa week while pg but increase to 3x a week from about 4 weeks post pg...

Hey!
Sorky and Cosmo that is like me too. Me and DH been together since we were 17 and now 25 it seems like i have been waiting forever to start a family! But for us, now is a good time.

Lastbox that is appalling!! Hope these other guys are much better!

You're right Sorky it is possible if you meet the right person young enough (I met DH at 16 so it will be 10 yrs in Oct) but I will add that in the last 5 years the cost of housing has shot up, it is so expensive now that it is the extra burden many people face. Oh and my rent is quite cheap. My mate in Guildford rents a 2 bed flat for that and we have a 3 bed house, worth about 300k, oh and its nice but nothing special, just a 3 bed terrace with 2 double and 1 single bedrooms. Five years ago my neighbours bought next door for 178k, if we could buy a house for that now we would have no problem!

I do completely and wholeheartly agree about not leaving it too late though, why do you think I am trying (apart from insane broodiness)!

Oh and I think it is just Moos and GJ on the wagon.

LBOT -

how funny most of us have been with our DH's since we were young.

i met DH when i was 16, were best mates for around 6-9mths and then got together just after i turned 17... so it's 6 years on the 11th july!!

I met DH at a Halloween party, first term of college, I was 16 he had just turned 17. Been together ever since.

right off to collect ds from nursery....will be back this evening!!

Hi everyone - I haven't caught up yet, but:

Sorky - I've just got 'Gentle Birth Method' by Gowri Motha out of the library, and just considering it. I was explaining to dh last night about the dietary aspect of it, and he was really down on it - but I thought it seemed really good. I had such a horrible, horrible time of it with pg/birth last time, I want to make sure I do everything this time differently, so exercise, eating properly, preparing properly for birth... I seem to remember you have had SPD previously - that is the fly in the ointment for me, because that curtailed all my exercise last time, and that is when my weight ballooned, I started having really swollen ankles etc, and basically think my body was struggling before I even started my 32 hour endurance battle. I'd be really interested to know more about Reiki/meditation - have you been to classes? or are you self-taught? This is really interesting!

The age question:
Having had dd when I was 31 I thought that was about the ideal time, but it was only when I had such a problematic pregnancy that I really began to feel 'old' and got really frustrated by the fact that we must be so better suited to having babies when we're younger... for me it wasn't so much the fact that I wanted to pursue the career/nice house/white wedding etc - although I went to Uni and did teacher training. We've never been able to afford anything really, and still live like students with second hand sofa, hand-me-down tiny portable tv (so small that visitors often think we don't have one!!)... firstly it was that I hadn't met my dh (met him 7 years ago), and secondly (I can only say this now, looking back) I just wasn't mature enough in outlook to be able to cope with parenting, although I'm sure I would have managed and matured if I'd had to if that makes sense! Since dh and I got together we've always known we want a big family, and that comes before nice house and nice things - but I do get frustrated when people I know talk about how they can't afford another (its all relative isn't it?)... anyway, will stop waffling on and go back and catch up with you all!

Hi Happy, don't worry about waffling. I've been doing it all day. I have done distracefully little work today

how many weeks are people
cant believe i am 10 wks already on sat

10 weeks Tink! I can't believe that either, it only seems liek yesterday you got your BFP!

I'm not sure - last AF was 22 May, but had some spotting on 18/19 May (which I had convinced myself was implantation bleed) so not sure whether to go from 18th May (in which case 4 wks 4 days, or from 22nd in which case 4 weeks today (not that 4 days makes the slightest bit of difference I suppose, but if FF thinks I ov'd on 31st May, and mw's count from LMP, perhaps I should say the earlier date so that the mw's wheel is more accurate?? Haven't even told GP yet - think its too early! I'll just puzzle over what to say for now!

I have to say, I'm a big supporter of waiting till you're ready no matter how old you are and of carefully thinking about how many you can afford to have. We have a friend who's constantly telling us we have to start now because you'll never know how long it will take - she'll be 37 in August and had three miscarriages before carrying her now 18-month-old to term. That's just not the way DH and I wanted to go about brining a child into the world. We met when I was 23 and he was 27 and have taken the time to enjoy one another, to travel, to buy a home, etc. Now we're ready to have a child, but I know it might not necessarily work out the way we planned. Hell, it already hasn't worked out the way we planned! We are also very sure we want two children - it just seems to be the right dynamic for us. My SIL is one of 11 children and they all went without so much. That might sound very shallow, but I do want to be able to provide as best I can for my kids - not only financially, but emotionally/attention-wise as well.

And yes, Sorky, it was super dangerous for the builders to be drunk, as they were underpinning an 11 foot wall that had no foundations!

god tinks 10 weeks has flown by!!! all things well??

Happy... i feel exactly the same about the affording another thing... we dont live a life of luxury, we never have any money left to save at the end of a month, dont have any savings, haven't had a holiday abroad together, but we feel to complete our family now is more important than going on holidays, and having all the things we want. at the end of the day we are still young, and have already achieved a lot more than a lot of other couples our age!!

what do you girls think?

my parents live down south just an hour away. my dh is from hull up north where his parents live which is 5-6 hours.
each christmas we take it in turns between parents, last year we spent it down here with my parents so this year would be up in hull with his parents.
my timing isnt great. my dh still really wants to go up we would be travelling up xmas eve for a week. i will only have 3 weeks to go by then.

firstly i was massive with dd1 and really uncomfortable @ this stage and dont want to go into labour up there. would rather be in my own home.

am i being silly or would you do the same

happy dates are confusing arent they [hmmm]

my last period was march the 22nd but 50 day cycle. was taking temp ff predicted ovulation cd36 .
ovulation date was right

all things great thanks glaskham

Glask - I was chatting to a friend the other day. She earns twice what me and dh earn, and was saying how difficult it is going to be when her lo comes along. She was telling me how she couldn't cut any more corners (and I was nodding sagely about how difficult times were) then she told me how they were replacing a car, getting Sky fitted, having the garden landscaped... I was . I am so used to scraping by, and if I had a couple of hours to go through her budget with a fine toothed comb I'm sure I'd be able to save her an absolute fortune!!!

Totally understand that larger families are not for everyone, and that people have their different priorities etc etc - I just get surprised when people who I know could manage on less are locked in a mindset that they can't. Take mobile phones for instance. Me and dh have had free handset, free line rental, free texts and free calls for three years now, from Carphone Warehouse. He's just renewed his contract for the fourth year, so we've saved over £2000 just on that. When I tell people that we pay nothing for our mobiles people just sort of nod and carrying on paying whatever they pay then in the next breath tell you they can't afford x,y,z... Hurray for Martinsmoneysaver!!

I am in the same school of thought as you LBOT. We have done things the "right" way (except owning the house, which is virtually impossible unless I am prepared to wait for at least 5 years and I can't take that risk). I've wanted kids for a few years but it was important to me to be married, secure in our relationship, live in nice enough house and have enough money before we started. I'm not saying the other way is wrong, everyone has different priorities/opinions and sometimes you don't get to choose . To me, it is important that I provide my children with a stable loving home with everything they need and a little bit of what they want. I also want to be able to afford to take the entire 9 month mat leave and to then only have to work a few hours a week.