June/July TTC Thread❤️

[megan345]

New Thread❤️

Couldn't make it past 11 dpo again, pink discharge as of half hour ago. I feel like this is punishment for having post natal depression and not being more greatful at that time.

That’s not a very happy thought at all ☹️ do you have a GP or someone else you can trust to talk to about feeling that way? I’d worry stress could be making things hard for you x

Yeah I am. I find it helps me to say things openly. No matter how dark. It's the keeping it hidden away and pretending that makes it worse.
I'm dealing with it all as I know it isn't healthy but I still feel it. I have people that are supportive and know and I can talk to. Still feel it though. Its exhausting 😮‍💨 xx

It’s definitely always good to get it out and say it. Sometimes I realise I’m not going to feel better unless I say something out loud, and if I think it’s stupid sounding it can be really difficult. But it lets me shut the door on that thought or feeling and move on if that makes sense. Definitely keep talking about how you feel. I can empathise with the feeling of exhaustion over it for sure.

Are you getting help with a short luteal period?

@YKM2829 sending you an enormous hug. It sounds like you feel like you deserve to be punished, which is incredibly sad, and you absolutely don't deserve that at all. Have you considered starting a gratitude journal? Sometimes it feels a bit silly, especially on days where you feel like sh*t, but after a while you realise all the small wonders you might normally miss. It might help alleviate some of the guilt that you feel from before. Sending lots of love, hope you're ok ❤️❤️❤️

I’m taking progesterone but it was from a private consultation with Plan Your Baby, not the gp. I’d have a gp day 21 and a few private (Superdrug). I highly recommend plan your baby - wasn’t that expensive and it’s given me something to try for a few months, I do thknk gps will usually prescribe it x

@Taysonic how are you feeling today?

Has anyone used a ferti-lily cup? I’ve bought one to try.. I can’t work out though, does it need to be washed immediately before use or is it ok to wash after last use and keep in the little bag it comes in. If i got up to wash it post sex it would all drip out and it doesn’t feel that romantic to go and wash it just before sex 🙈 I also trialled inserting it and it was a bit painful, think I need to practise the folding - I have the same trying to use a menstrual cup

I'm pretty convinced this is a chemical. Took a test this morning and I know there are lots of variables but it definitely looks lighter than yesterday's midmorning.

Am taking that at face value. Will wait now to do a test on Saturday morning before the hen do to get final closure I guess.

Feeling okay. Was expecting it more this time and haven't had much time to get ahead of ourselves, get all excited and imagine the future, if you know what I mean. So, it's not hitting as hard.

Worried about potential uterus scarring from my c section (I think my body goes overdrive on making scar tissue!). But it's just a hunch. We go again...

Oh no I’m sorry 😔

yes I know exactly what you mean, same happened with me last month after 2nd cycle. Not sure how I’ll ever be excited now though as feel they won’t last? I think it is protective pessimism!

@Muddysocks1 Protective pessimism is the BEST WAY to describe it. I did get a bit upset last night because I felt really bad for my partner, and want him to have that fairy tale pregnancy happiness you know? But realistically, at any stage, there's always going to be risk and worry... My partner is quite sensitive and wears his heart on his sleeve. But, just like he said last night 'when have we ever done things the normal way?!'

Whereabouts are you now in your cycle Muddy?

Hiya, I’m using one atm 😊 The fertililly instructions say you need to boil it before the first use - I boiled mine the first time and will boil it again soon, as I’ve used it 5 times. In between, we have a bidet, so have been removing after about an hour after sex and washing the cup with very hot water, which the instructions say is ok to do.
It is an interesting contraption :D I think it’s fine in the little bag prior to DTD. Hopefully it won’t be painful after DTD

Joining this as TTC, am day DPO10 I think... At the very latest (I could be earlier). Miscarriage almost 3 years ago and only trying again this year.
Couldn't resist doing a test and I'm sure I see something but could this just be an indent.

@Taysonicreally holding out hope for you as you said you didnt get a peak on your opks, its such a roller coaster

@JessTryingi defo see the start of something there

im 4DPO and really really moody, i was fine up until now sighs, i stormed out on DH, im usually a very patient parent but ended up being a bit harsh with my tone with DS as he was refusing breakfast, then i burst into tears because i felt so bad (DS was so sweet said sorry he didnt eat and gave me a hug + happily proceeded to eat with the tv on, which made me feel so bad!) feeling very overwhelmed at the minute and honestly if i was my body i would reject any egg at this rate as it suddenly feels super stressed for reasons i dont know!?😕

Definitely!! That way as well you’re protecting your heart and being realistic - I do still get optimistic and hopeful but it is up and down.

yeah I’m feeling a bit down that we haven’t had a fun joyous TTC journey, some grief around that?

im CD13 and expect to ovulate in the next two days 🤞🏻

Oops I better boil it! Mine doesn’t seem to have instructions except the box (maybe I need to read the box again 🙈)

Hi @Taysonic I remember you from a few previous threads, so sorry you seem to be going through the same again, life is so unfair isn't it. Although you're feeling bad for your partner, I hope you're being kind to yourself too💖 your mind must be all over the place!

@Muddysocks1 I keep thinking of trying the fertilily, just not sure how i feel about the logistics of inserting it etc 😆

Feel like so many of my friends & family are announcing pregnancies at the minute & whilst happy for them, it makes me sad that our journey hasn't been quite as easy!

Hi @LuckyDuck93 - definitely remember you too!

The older I get, the more I find a disconnect between life's picture perfect moments and the real stories behind them. I know there are some people whose TTC journey is easy and straight forward, but for every one of those people, I'd wager there are three more whose journey hasn't been straight forward.

And yes, there are people who share the tougher sides of the journey and I think social media, on the whole, does a good job at showing both sides of the coin if you know where to look... But still, we all envision that idealistic path and would obviously want that for ourselves.

The thing is... Pain and difficultly bring about clarity. It helps us realise what is important to us. Is the risk of future heartbreak worth it? For me? Right now? Yes. I know how much I want this and I'd happily take the risk of future upset if it still means there's a chance of the happy outcome.

But, at some point, that might change. And the heartbreak and the odds and the experiences may change what I think is the goal. And that's okay too.

Trying to frame everything as experience that helps me walk my own path with clarity.

@Taysonic i think you've hit the nail on the head perfectly!
its so easy to assume everyone elses journey has been easy, but the reality is you only really hear about the easy ones x

Hey all, think I might be out this month, feeling super confused with symptoms today though! I'm 8dpo, negative one-step test this morning. Didn't sleep last night, today I feel a bit down (typical a day or two before AF, but also could be lack of sleep). Today I have cramps (typical before AF) headaches (not typical before AF) and a shooting pain in boob (not typical) then I was out chatting to someone in a shop and felt AF had just arrived, drove away feeling gutted and confused why it was early but felt relieved I knew now as I could feel an actual flow so definitely knew it was AF - but then when I went to check there was nothing there? No discharge, no smell, no blood,it must just been clear watery CM? (Unusual for me anytime for that to happen and it feels like AF?!) 🫣 It's confusing me a lot, because if AF is coming it's 6 days early and that would be super unusual for me (happened once or twice ever in memory) But cramps are quite AF like, and 8dpo isn't usual implantation day is it? 🧐 Also, I've been cramping since 5dpo, so that's unlikely to be implantation for so long or so early either? 3 days of cramps then AF is quite usual for me, just not 6 days early! It'll worry me quite a bit if it is because that means my luteal phase is really out of whack? I guess if I don't get AF today I'll test tomorrow!

Oh @DorsetGirl89 that all sounds so confusing. I think this part of the TWW is so difficult to navigate. It's late enough to want to know an answer, but it's still quite early to yet have any definitive answers. Especially when your body does unusual things!

At the moment, AF hasn't arrived. So you're not out yet. But totally get the 'self-protective pessimism'.

Get it all off your chest here and we can help with the agonising wait until you know either way.

@Taysonic , thank you for your kind words, I'm sat in the car reading your last two posts in tears, so I'm pretty certain that's AF announcing her arrival 😆🤦🏻‍♀️ You've all been through so much here, it's such a supportive community and I'm so grateful to have found this. I posted this in another thread but haven't mentioned it here on this thread - this is only my first cycle trying, so I feel a bit like a fraud getting upset I'm not pregnant straight away, but just after my partner and I tried for the first time I got a call from my oncologist to say my cancer had returned, so to get me safely through a pregnancy before I have to start treatment again is now a race against the clock. It's a lot of pressure to put on myself or my partner, but if it doesn't happen soon, there's a good chance it won't ever (if I have to restart treatment that's it for my chance at motherhood to be honest) so there just feels like so much is riding on this. I have so much to be grateful for, and I'm trying to not get my hopes up, but the thought of going through this every month is feeling pretty daunting right now tbh.

Hi all,

just an update after my bfp a few days ago. Last night and today I have had stark white BFNs so I’m ruling myself out this month with a chemical sadly. I still have my blood test tomorrow (which was booked last month to check my ovulation). So they’ll be able to tell me for sure. I’m not feeling too low surprisingly - it’s bitter sweet as I know I was able to ovulate this month.

sending lots of love and wishes to those still in the running this month x

Hi all I can relate to all of you and sign watching is the worst but cant help it anytime there's something different with the body! last month convinced myself implantation bleed had pink tinge and clear mucus about 10dpo then period didn't come till till day 37 I'd been regular for 3 months at 28 days but realised I keep being regular then 4th month go irregular. Im only 4 dpo now this month but don't think I caught ovulation but I don't test mine I go of calender but somehow I know my head will convince me maybe I have. I keep trying to come to terms with maybe it's not going to happen again but still cant seem to get my head around it. Hoping everyone gets there baby dust 🙂

@MyPeppyLimeBearI’m so sorry to hear that.

@DorsetGirl89its still very early. 8dpo could definitely be implantation. Definitely worth testing tomorrow to see.