Just got my bfp!! But I have a bit of a dilemma

[am12344]

I’m over the moon I just got my bfp this morning! However I planned to go out for drinks with mum and dad and my family tomorrow. It’s rare that we get to do this and my family will definitely pick up on me not drinking and they will know for sure something is up. It’s really hard because they will try to buy rounds of drinks and I just don’t know what to say. I don’t want to tell them just yet.

any advice welcome 😅

Whatever you do don’t say antibiotics (you can drink on most antibiotics anyway and it’s so so obvious) and don’t say water infection, again so blatant . My friend did the latter and was so chuffed with herself that we ‘believed” her and announced about 4 weeks later she was pregnant but we had known a whole month anyway. Having said that I do totally see why you wouldn’t want to say one day after finding out so it’s very tricky! Sorry not very helpful hopefully others have a better idea

Could you drive and maybe just say something like it's easier to get home or you've got work in the morning so didn't want to risk a sore head? I told people I hadn't had a drink in x amount of time (which was true, since being pregnant with my first) so didn't feel up to it after so long which did seem to work although not sure my mum would have believed me. I ended up telling my mum right away just because I felt it was easier than trying to hide it but you need to do what you're comfortable with.

Could you say you’re really hungover and just have one drink? At this stage one alcoholic drink really isn’t going to do any harm and then won’t trigger any suspicion especially if you say you were drinking a lot today!

I had a situation like this before and it was a total faff but here's what I did. Arrived early before anyone else. Got a 'gin' and tonic, hold the gin. Explained to our waiter who was more than happy to help. So we agreed when I said 'same again' he'd know. Easier if it's bar service just drink slowly so as not to get into rounds, and then go alone to the bar when you need a refill. Key is to drink really slowly so less people ask if you want another.
Eta
Congratulations!! Sorry forgot to say that initially. Lovely news 🥰

If you dont want any suspicions and youre not quite ready to tell yet I would pretend to be sick and cancel 😂 saves you the worry and the stress

Yes I would claim I’d come down with a sick bug that day and so can’t come

Migraine was my go-to excuse.

Sick bug and cancel

Say you're hungover? Or didn't sleep very well and you don't want to struggle to sleep or something.

Drive, then obviously you can't drink!

If you go down the antibiotic route, say it's dental antibiotics. They are horrendous to drink on (in my and seemingly everyone I've spoken to about it - used to be a dental receptionist) and I'd not bat an eye if someone told me they weren't drinking as on antibiotics for wisdom teeth infection or something!

Alternatively, in the past I've given the bar staff a heads up and asked for my soft drinks to be served in gin glasses etc. Could you potentially do the same?

Do they know you're ttc? Just say it's part of your health kick to abstein while you're trying. If not just say you had a heavy night last night and don't want a bad head tomorrow.

You can't drink with the antibiotics that dentists give you.
But in any case I'd anyone says they are not drinking alcohol tonight that should just be accepted without any further questions. You shouldn't have to say why other than I don't feel like alcohol tonight thank you I'll have an orange juice or whatever.
Congratulations!

Thanks everyone. Totally different dilemma now, I’ve started bleeding quite heavy so not sure what’s going on :(

But some people are genuinely on antibiotics and some people genuinely do have urine infections.
if someone's first thought is 'gah, she's pregnant' they probably need to get out more.

I read you update, @am12344 .
I hope you're alright!

Oh no, are you still getting positive lines on your tests?
Maybe this is a chemical pregnancy.

Thanks I just don’t understand what is going on tbh

Tbh I haven’t tested too just feel too disheartened and scared to if I’m being honest. I was thinking of taking a test in a bit but I just need to work up the courage in case it’s negative I guess

Are you still bleeding?

Yeah very heavy and lots of cramps and clots

Oh no. That doesn't sound good at this stage. I'm sorry.

I also took a test and the lines are lighter than yesterday so I think it’s a chemical pregnancy :(

I'm so sorry. I had a lot of miscarriages so I truly sympathise.
I did have four children in the end, though.
I hope you'll get pregnant again soon.

I’m so sorry. It’s very hard but be kind to yourself