Is 40 too old for a first time dad?

[tabascoo]

DP turned 40 last month, certainly doesn’t look or act it 😂

I’m 33, I have endometriosis and I had my AMH tested 2 years ago which was normal. Originally neither of us wanted children when we met 8 years ago. During lockdown 1 I had this awful broodiness, which is still present but much less intense.

i did get pregnant accidentally 2 years ago which sadly ended in miscarriage. I was hospitalised for a few days with an infection and it was awful. I wasn’t able to talk about it until this year when I started therapy. DP was shocked at the time but happy 🙁

We haven’t talked about really trying again since and I’m wondering if it’s too late?

My dad was an ‘older’ dad at 32/35 when me and my brother were born which was quite unusual amongst my friends at the time. My mum was early 20’s. His parents were both in their 20s when he and his siblings were babies. I have a big family as my mum is the youngest of 5, but none of my cousins have children (they’re all older than me!)

Sorry a lot of waffle. We earn a decentish wage between us (90k before tax combined). We rent a lovely house in a small town we both love. We have a wonderful 2yr old rescue dog, we’ve had her since she was 4 months old. We’re planning to buy a house next year, just waiting a little longer to maximise our LISA bonuses. We have savings separate to our house deposit. Financially everything looks good.

We have a very comfortable life. I just can’t help this niggling feeling that he might regret having a teenager in his 50s. We live about an hour from family so it would just be us two.

Hi! Are you still on this site?
I'm wondering what you decided and how it turned out?
Myself and DH are your exact ages at time of this post, and having the same deliberations

My dh was 40 when our first child was born. Hes now 42 and were expecting our second

It’s fine!
My boss had his third baby at 47!
Another colleague had his first baby at 47 !

There’s no time like the present! Sperm quality will be declining and you’re running a higher risk of things like autism so if you’ve decided this is for you then get cracking!

Nope.
My DH was 38 when we had DC1 and then 40 when we had DC2 and hoping for a 3rd and 4th so will be well into 40s

Don’t be ridiculous

Not at all, lots of men are that age, and a lot don't want kids/feel too immature earlier. Some of the people I've known would have been terrible dads in their 30s, but are great now. Yes, I guess you could say the same for mums, but often women want to have children much younger.

Child free probably because they are only in their early 30s

i don’t know anyone in our group who had a kid before 35

my husband was 43 when first was born and 47 when our son was born

hes well able for it 🤷‍♀️ never even thought about him being too old tbh

Nonsense. I’m 52 and my energy levels haven’t dropped a bit

Not too old at all

DH and I were 40 (him) and 33 (me) when I had our eldest, we were 45 and 38 when we had twins. It's fine, yes I'm one of the older parents at school, obv DH is too but he's fit and healthy. My friend was 33 and her partner 46 when they had their child, he's in the best shape of his life a decade later

Is he keen for a child?
He is not youre dad
Remember some people do not like being a parent because they are selfish people.
Why compare.
If you genuinely want a child together nothing is certain in life.