been ttc#1 forever (and a bit longer) ....

[nomoremagnolia]

Thought it was time for a new thread - we're almost out of room on the original one

Judging by my experience, if they don't want you in their system, they'll find any reason not to let you adopt!

In fact, gayness isn't a factor at all. In our prep group there was a lesbian couple planning to adopt, and there are loads of same-sex couples adopting children.

Just quickly - gilly and LL Check the terms of your NHS funding before you go private - one part of the small print in ours was that if you'd had previous fertility treatment you weren't eligible for the NHS funding (even if said treatment was unsucessful) So we would have invalidated our funding if we'd done what your proposing and gone private whilst waiting for NHS go. Just worth checking out before you lose your funding.

Did anyone read that Times article about mild IVF the other week? I'll try and do a link: www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/science/article3724453.ece

I thought it sounded really interesting. I think the success rate is lower than normal IVF and it's not recommended if you're over a certain age, but it's quite a lot cheaper because you don't use as many drugs so you can afford to try more times. Not available in Britain yet though.

Hi - wondering if I could ask a question of you ladies as the title of your thread makes you sound very knowledgeable! And I see a few friendly faces among you!

It's an 'am I being unreasonable/melodramatic' type question...so, here goes:

We've only been TTC since January - got pregnant first try but sadly suffered missed miscarriage at 11 weeks (fetus measured 7). I've had four cycles since the mc, three of which we've been TTC for - so in all, we're only TTC for four cycles. It seems I have had a short LP since coming of BC - it's usually about 10 days, but since the mc I've had spotting before AF shows and last month I've had wacky starting/stopping periods. I went to see my GP because I was concerned about the bleeding. I asked her questions about what seems to be a too-short LP and if she thought that had anything to do with my mc and if it's caused by lack of progesterone. She suggested we do a progesterone test. Got the results this morning and they're 46, clearly indicating ovulation. I just spoke with the doctor and she says she doesn't know what would be causing the bleeding - at which point I wanted to yell 'Do a CD3 - test my other hormone levels!!' but to which I replied 'so I should just give it another couple of months and come see you again?'

I really do feel like something is wrong, but I don't know if I should push for additional testing since we've only been TTC a short period of time. But I just don't see what two more months of us trying in vain would really accomplish except time wasting! What are your thoughts? Am I being unrealistic? Thank you!!!

Hi Last box, sorry to hear about your m/c. I was ttc for a couple of years before successfully getting a BFP. This was lost relatively early with a m/c. I would say that the m/c can mess things up and whilst I conceived again, it did take almost 3months for my cycle to settle and then a further 3months to conceive. That pg again failed and again it took 3 months for things to settle down.

I am afraid that waiting 6 months is probably good advice! sorry

Gilly, that was the impression I got from your post, sorry. You said that you wouldn't stand a cat in hells chance and listed that as a potential reason (not having meaningful people in the child's lives.)... I wasn't thinking that having a gay brother on its own would affect the process. But that the lack of nieces and nephews due to being gay might have a knock on effect. Sorry, I must have misread your post.

Noooo Gilly, you didn't say anything wrong. I just wondered if having a gay brother would make them naturally assume no cousins and if that would go against an application. Don't worry. My fault entirely

Hi this is a question for nomoremagnolia, or anyone else who could help, I noticed that you have had the coil removed, so have I 1 year ago, and my periods have been all over the place, I too am waiting for a referral, do you know how long you should have to wait to et back into a cycle, my doctors not been very helpful- not her area.

Hi everyone. Been away for a while settling into my new job, enjoying it hugely which has helped (a little) to keep my mind off FTC. I am far from catching up with everything that has been going on - sad to see that everyone still seems to be around.

This seems to be the thread where all my (far too) long running MN pals are - and where there is a lot going on, what with treatment and adoption plans (though sorry that isn't going well Herbaceous - sounds like you've been treated appallingly there).

We had our pre-ICSI consult on Monday (probably why I thought of you all again) and got mainly good news. DH's sperm was up to acceptable in all categories except morphology (8% rather than required 15% so still ICSI over IVF), so with that news I have worked out out a program that will give us the best shot at a natural pregnancy in the next 3 months. I had rather given up with a sperm count of 0.5mill/ml but it's now 22mill/ml . My FSH is 4.5 which is great, and treatment in November means egg collection in Nov, not just starting out, so I don't have to face a pregnancy test on Christmas day which was looking very likely. Also the clinic are prepared to do blastocyst transfer which is my preferred option - though they haven't done very many, so still considering that.

One more baby born, one more pregnancy announcement in RL since I was last here and I am thrilled for them which is a great step forward. Though now I feel bad that I feel so proud of myself for not feeling bad - iyswim .

Just looked back through the thread to try to write some personals and realised that everyone here seems to have been of such help to me I'm afraid I miss someone out. So perhaps a special hello to Ready, Lottie, Rahrah and NoMore who've been around the longest (on the threads I hang out on anyway). Now to return to work, and occasional lurking .

livvigirl I have never had a coil - sorry you've got the wrong gal - though I'm sure someone on here will be able to help you
Hello rattling

lastbox (I just had to check your profile to check you weren't my sister - your story sounds very similar to hers )
I think you need to wait a little longer because your body is probably still a bit of a mess hormonally speaking after the m/c. If you got to 11 wks before m/c then you must have had fairly high hormone levels, especially if the baby died earlier than that (around 9 wks?) but was not m/c for another 2 wks. I think your GP is right in some respects - many GPs won't investigate ttc problems until a year, so if your GP is willing to investigate after 6 mo then I would try and keep her sweet! I would write down all the dates of bleeding and also whether it was light/heavy/spotting etc to take to the GP is a couple of months time. Are you temping or using ov kits? If so keep a note of all of that too.
Hope that helps

HI All...

Hope everyone is OK.... god I've missed loads in the last couple of days. I'm feeling a bit miserable today as due on and very crampy and annoyed with life in general. I just don't get why I can't get pregnant... so in negative PMT mood! Sorry

I'm going to the cinema to see Kong Fu Panda with my 2 friends little boys. Ages 5 and 3. They are then staying at mine. So looks like I won't be getting much sleep and there will be plenty of e numbers flying around.

I've just gone to M&S and brought lots of nice food and then went and brought a big block of Fruit and nut..... UMMMMMM...

Hope everyone has a good weekend. X

Rattling... how are you flower!! I have missed you, thought about you lots and hoped you would be back with some good news. Whilst it isn't the BFP (yet) that I wished for you, it is still good news that things are really motoring for you. How exciting. Don't be a stranger now will you, we want to hear all about everything!!
How are you liking your new job? I am still settling into mine, and already there are office politics that I hate, so we shall see what happens from here on in. You seem so upbeat which is lovely to hear!
I haven't really been obsessing this month, we have found out that unexplained fertility = a 3 year wait for a referral for IVF in this area. So we can't do anything other than wait right now, keep practicing and see what happens.

Oops... waffling along... sorry. Lovely to see you on here

Hello everyone. Hope you all had nice weekends!

Rah - Sorry you're feeling so rubbish. I can sympathise as I'm feeling the same at the moment. I'm on CD3 and just feeling really sad that we're not having a baby. Hope Kung Fu Panda was good anyway!

So I'm thinking about biting the bullet and going to see my GP (for the first time) about not getting pregnant. Could anyone answer a few questions for me?

• Should I go on my own or with DH?
• What should I expect the doctor to say/ask?
• What kinds of tests should I be offered?

Thanks!

Hi EachPeach,

I went on my own to see GP (purely out of convenience).

From memory, I was told I would need mid-cycle blood tests (to check I was ovulating) and dp needed a sperm test before the referral was made to the fertility clinic.

Good luck and hope you feel better soon.

Hi Ready,

Glad you aren't obsessing but sorry about 3 yr wait

Rattling - glad the jobs going well

Apologies to everyone that I've missed, I hope you are all well

Thanks guys - that's really helpful.

Ready - is it 3 years from now, or from when you started trying? That's still a really long time either way! Why does it vary so much between different areas?

CD1 here... miffed.

EachPeach, I would say that if you want to take your dh with you, then that is cool - but if you want to go on your own first, just for a chat, that works too. I went on my own first, in fact we never saw our gp together, just the consultant. Our gp rang dh to tell him about the sperm test referral and then again with his results, but he didn't actually have to go and see her.
At the first appt I just said how long we had been trying, asked about periods, stressed that we should be having sex every couple of dayd. I then showed her my temp charts (which she loved - but be warned, some doctors do not like forward thinking women, so opks, temp charts and mucus should not be mentioned as something you rely on)
The first thing my gp did was take swabs and do a smear - to rule out any infections etc. She also did an internal examination to feel if the womb was in the right place etc. Nice. Then she arranged for me to have a blood test for progesterone level. Once all the tests came back fine, and dh had done his sperm test, we were referred to the fertility clinic.

Waffled on there didn't I?

3 years from starting ttc, which is just over a year away... that's nothing is it.

Hope everyone is ok? xx