I've done it again.

[bulletproofcoffee]

Tested at 9-10 DPO (2/3 days before AF is due) got a BFN. Got in a state, gone back to bed. In such a mood. I've got angry, then cried. SICK of this.

I'm really sorry to hear that.. be kind to yourself and do what you need to do to cope.

Sorry you're feeling so low.
TTC and not succeeding is very distressing.
Have you been trying for long? Do bear in mind that your period isn't due for five days, so you could be testing too early.

@TheShellBeach this is cycle 4 - I know its not that long. I am a big neurotic as I had cervical cancer a few years ago so want a baby incase it ever comes back :(

I have done the exact same thing!! Tested at 8dpo and again at 9dpo. Thought I saw a slight line on 8dpo, got excited and 9dpo is negative. Trying to accept it but it’s so hard. Sending hugs, you aren’t alone xxx

@bulletproofcoffee
Honestly this was me for 8 months. It's not good for you mentally. I've not tested in the last few months and mentally I'm better for it.

I stay in the delulu land that I might be pregnant until my period comes. When that happens I feel sad, have a cry but move on as it's a new cycle. Previously I would spent days 10-13dpo testing, crying, getting tests out the bin, rinse and repeat.

Not testing is my way of being more resilient.

I think @riverlodge90 has got it right.
I too get in a state when seeing a negative test, so now bury my head in the sand & live with that glimmer of hope to get me through the days

I am sorry though @bulletproofcoffee , I totally get how you feel after a BFN

Thanks both @Figtree11 @riverlodge90 . Today I am super dizzy and woke up starving. V unsual for me. Hoping for a miracle!

I think I am getting worked up as we are out Saturday for a brunch w.alchol. and was hoping I could just be pregnant so I know, now i'll be in limbo.

Honestly it's so hard, but it's really unlikely to get a BFP that early so if you can hold off testing. I've only had BFPs at 14 dpo. Easier said than done, but keep occupied with other things in your life, whatever you enjoy doing. A year is normal.