TTC After Miscarriage

[Jadelr]

I had a miscarriage on 21st February at 8 weeks. My cycles were all over the place after up until around May, we both decided after the miscarriage we wanted to try to conceive again however I've still not fell pregnant since and I'm feeling rather depressed. Each month I obsess over wether I'm pregnant in the two week wait and then when my period comes I'm devastated. When I had my miscarriage and was scanned etc they checked everything ovaries etc and I don't have PCOS or anything like that and they said everything looks healthy and fertile but I just wanted to know if it took anybody abit longer to conceive after a miscarriage? It's been like 6 months now and as we are trying for our first I feel like it's never going to happen again 😞

Everything I see online most women seem to fall pregnant pretty fast after a miscarriage and I'm quite disheartened it's not happening, I feel like it's never going to happen again and i can't figure out if I'm stressing myself out to much and that's the reason I'm not falling pregnant. TTC is so stressful it took me around 5 months to fall pregnant the first time after coming off contraception. Any advice or anything is much appreciated x

Hi @Jadelr I've just come across this. Hope you're getting on better?

I had a MC at my 12 week scan - symptoms still well alive and no bleeding or pain but sadly no heartbeat. This was to be my 3rd child. Always fallen easily and now four months on from mmc can't get pregnant which is concerning. I guess I'm after any stories like mine with a happy ending? 🙏😂

Hi @Claudiasaz

I'm getting better in the sense of I'm not as obsessive as I was 😂 however I'm still not pregnant which I'm still finding hard ofcourse because I've taken a step back from testing etc but then now I'm thinking well I need to start ovulation testing etc again but then I don't want to fall back into the obsessive routine again. I'm sorry for your loss 😞

After my miscarriage my cycles were all over for 4-5 months. When usually before that they were on time every time, I fell pregnant within 2 months the first time so now nearly a year later and I'm still not pregnant it's annoying because I'm constantly thinking why 🤦🏻‍♀️ but I know stress etc can prevent ovulation and I have been stressed ever since the miscarriage, so I think that plays a big part. I know people say just relax it'll happen but it's much easier said than done. I mean I read all these stories about women falling pregnant straight after a miscarriage so that gave me hope and then it just never happened for me. But I'm praying I get my miracle this year, it would be my first baby so I'm just hoping it will happen.

But I'd just go easy on yourself, you've gone through a traumatic time and sometimes your body takes abit longer to adjust. I wish I had a success story for you haha but I'm still in the process, I hope you get your rainbow soon x

Hi @Jadelr I'm sorry to hear that you're still going through it. Sounds like you're doing better though, what did you do to help you relax? Have you had any testing or anything done? I really hope it happens for you soon.

My cycles have been a bit random too. I've actually booked with the GP as they said it should be a bit more normal by now and I have some mid cycle spotting which again they said shouldn't be happening.

I actually never used o tests before but started after MC to check I was o. I don't know if they're more stressful or not to be honest 😂 With my previous I would have sex when I had the egg whites so may give that a go again! X

@Claudiasaz I haven't had any testing done since however when I had my miscarriage they checked my ovaries, etc and said all looks healthy and fertile. Then they checked again at my second scan to confirm miscarriage and the doctor I spoke to went through it all with me and said all is okay. So that put my mind at rest but with me I think being depressed and stressed really hasn't helped me at all, I'm one of those people that when I'm stressed/depressed it takes it's toll on my cycles and knocks them out of whack massively.

My cycles have gone back to normal in the last 2/3 months as I've been making more of a conscious effort to try not get too stressed. I think what helped me is I got to the point of thinking regardless how much I stress/depress myself about falling pregnant it's not going to change the outcome if anything it's only going to hinder my chances. I have looked into counselling with I feel I need to deal with my depression like the route cause because my depression isn't just because of my miscarriage.

And I've started to make healthier life choices, exercising abit more. Eating healthier I've also got a few vitamins I've started taking which I've read up about that help ovulation etc, I'm taking Maca Root, inositol, folic acid and vitamin c. Also just doing more fun things like going out places and making sure I've got things to look forward too so my mind is occupied and not held up on trying to conceive.

Yeah I think an appointment with your GP will point you in the right direction, I usually know when I'm ovulating due to like you said the egg white discharge and a positive ovulation test but I did read the other day even when your body is attempting to ovulate you still get a positive test and egg white which makes it all the more confusing because now I don't know if I am ovulating or not 😂 from next month I am going to start testing again and then if in a few months time nothings happened I'll go see my GP for advice etc. I agree I don't think the mid cycle spotting should be happening however that can be normal I read a lot of women do spot mid cycle. I suppose every women is different in what's normal and what's not. I hope you get answers as I know sometimes it can be a long process.

Trying to conceive is stressful😂 the fact I fell pregnant so fast to now I'm struggling really annoys me haha but what will be will be and I feel confident that it will happen one day x

@Jadelr I think although it sucks there's so many elements to getting pregnant. So you can ovulate, sperm meets egg etc but there's implantation, there's hormones, there is just sooo much. I personally feel most of it is pot luck! Hence why it takes longer sometimes or quick other times.

I am going to try try try to stop stressing. I think the gp appointment will help with this maybe.

I did have some therapy and I'd definitely recommend that. I had a lot of trauma which I wasn't really aware of after the actual scan and the physical parts. I feel much better about that now.

Just know you're not alone! Always here if you want to rant. There's a group of us TTC after miscarriage I'll try and share it with you. We have had a few positive stories in there x

@Jadelr

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/conception/4927101-ttc-after-early-miscarriage

@Claudiasaz exactly that you've hit the nail on the head. I remember my nurse after I had my miscarriage explain that for your body to "house a baby" as she worded it everything needs to be just right as in hormones, egg quality etc etc.

So falling pregnant isn't as simple as it seems and I agree I think it is just luck most of the time. I think I've always put off counselling because then I know I have to deal with the trauma I've carried my whole life but I think I owe it to myself to let the burden go now. I'm ready to do it now.

Thankyou so much, same goes for you! Oh I would love that, I think I'd find it helpful being in a group of women who have experienced similar to me! x