TTC for 18+ months and feeling low!

[Natty2]

I'm fairly new at this forum and decided to join after TTC since the start of 2022
We discovered earlier this year that my DH morphology was low, although all other results were normal. He implemented life style changes straight away, and even went through a varicocele embolisation a few months ago, so we're waiting to see if that's helped.

Having gone through the rest of the year undergoing tests everything seems normal, so the NHS are not letting us even get on the IVF list until 2024. It's been such a long, physical and emotional journey and there seems to be no end in sight.

Anyone else going through similar things? I feel like I live life in 2 week cycles and it's so hard to try and not think about it all!!
Any tips?!

Thanks! Bloods all taken should find out on Monday if I did ovulate!

Does anybody else find immediately after O their boobs get really full and heavy, but that they kinda shrink a bit/feel less full part way through tww, then go back to being really full right before af? Trying to work out if it's normal, or a sign something is going wrong somewhere 🤔

@missmoosh hey, glad it went OK! No I don't get that with my boobs but mine are v small so don't notice too much change except for being sore sometimes in luteal phase. I think it's pretty common though to have breast changes throughout cycle, but if you're worried then definitely mention to someone (GP / fertility department).

@LucyLoopyLu oh mine are massive 😂😂 I'm all boob! Yeah might raise it with doctor when I see them in a few weeks. See if they can do a full hormone panel at different times in my cycle or something...

@missmoosh I think I've only noticed them getting heavier throughout the tww and I always know the morning AF is going to arrive because they feel much smaller!

@Natty2 yeah that's what I kind of thought they should be doing, but they randomly get smaller for a few days around 6dpo onwards and then balloon again right before af!

@missmoosh I wonder if it's a dip in progesterone maybe? Does your bbt go down then too?
I mean I'm 100% not medically trained in anyway 😂😂
I always find I get throbbing pains in my boobs in the tww, it feels like it's started earlier this time. But I'm also trying really really hard not to symptom check!

@Natty2 temps are still up! Maybe it's just one of my own weird progesterone symptoms. Think I will raise it though, as it is a bit odd! 😂

How's everyone feeling?

Well I got a bfn at 10dpo so pretty sure I'm out yet again! Just weirdly looking forward to my appointment in a few weeks! 😂
How are you?

@missmoosh oh no! Guess that's still early days so keeping fingers crossed!
I'm only 6/7dpo but feeling the same as every month so not getting my hopes up. Got our appointment next month too 🤞🤞

@Natty2 yeah I mean I went down my usual 10dpo bfn to bfp success stories google hole 😂😂 everyone throws out the countdown to pregnancy website but that says like 30% of people have bfn that turns bfp, which tbh doesn't make me feel any better at all!!!
You going to test early or hold strong?

@missmoosh oh no! Step away from google 😅
I'm actually good when it comes to not testing, I've probably only taken 5 tests or so during this whole process, as I've tended to only do it if something unusual has happened or I'm a few days late.

The rest of the time i normally think I'll try from 14dpo and almost always af arrives on 13dpo!!

@Natty2 honestly Google is my enemy at this point!
That's really impressive having that willpower not to test! As much as I hate seeing a bfn, I do prefer to be prepared for af. I have tried both ways, I cry at both but feel less let down when it arrives if I have had a bfn.
Hopefully the witch doesn't arrive for you this time!

Yeah I'll be a bit more naive to it this time I think, because my bbt normally lets me down gently in the lead up!

@Natty2 ah so it's less of a suprise like bam here I am to ruin your day 😂 my bbt can stay high all through my period, so its useless for me after confirming O. (Not that it stops me taking it!)
Another bfn at 12dpo so defo not preggo...what a suprise!

@LucyLoopyLu good luck with your appointment today btw, let us know how it goes

@LucyLoopyLu good luck!
@missmoosh hope your progesterone tests come back ok too!

@Natty2 thanks! Well I called them today to find out and they said the doctor hasn't looked at them yet, so they can't tell me what the result is. So more waiting for me 😂
Stupidly looked at my bfn well after the time frame and there is one nasty evap on it! Don't even need to squint, but defo no colour on it, so can't even get my hopes up lol

Oh that's a shame to still have to wait for the results, fingers crossed they come back this week.

I'm sorry if this cycle hasn't been successful 😞 when is af due?

@Natty2 CD1 again 😔 at least af was promptly on time this month. Hope you have more luck than me!

@missmoosh I'm sorry 😞 hate that first day feeling. Such a deflating time so sending positivity for that specialist appointment in a few weeks

I feel like I won't be far behind, I don't know about you but having ttc for such a long time I feel I'll never see that bfp even though I long for it!

Fingers crossed for next time 🤞

@Natty2 yeah each passing month makes me think it's never going to happen. Hopefully you won't be and one of us will get the bfp!
Think I'm going to step away from it all this month, no tracking or anything. I need a mental health break. I say this all the time and then become obsessive but hoping knowing I have the appointment will keep me calmer

@missmoosh good idea, I felt like it's really helped me this month to stop the tracking etc and also not really knowing what dpo I am. I've felt less anxious.
I made the mistake of joining a dpo group last week on here, that was around the similar day I thought I was on, but there were lots of people who have been trying to ttc for much less time, symptom spotting and early testing from like day 6/7 so I removed myself!

Hope you get a much needed mental break to reset and fingers crossed for the appt 🤞

@Natty2 I'm glad it's helped you! My birthday is coming up so going to focus on enjoying that!
Oh I spend a lot of time on the infertility sub now, stalking that, rather than the conception board. Too upsetting seeing people on month 1 and 2 get their bfp! Even stopped following one of my older threads I was on, as they are all about to give birth or already have! So don't blame you for removing yourself 😂
How you feeling?

@Natty2 ovulation confirmed progesterone 41.2nmol/L.
So that's 2 tests now showing I ovulate, DH semen analysis all good and lap & dye showed no issues. Guess it's gonna be IVF?

@missmoosh that's positive that all results are good! Hopefully you can get the ivf referral in Oct, or maybe they might try IUI?

I'm doing ok thanks, but I've always (for as long as I can remember!) get a 5 day cramp before af,
I've had a lot of side cramping since ov but that cramping feels more central today, so I suspect af will arrive by weekend which is around 13dpo.. typical!