Thread for sufferers of recurrent miscarriage

[OracleInaCoracle]

There seems to be a few of us, so thought i'd start a support thread.

[OracleInaCoracle]

i know what you mean.

im ok. relieved we are actually doing something now, but a bit nervous. gutted about tomorrow

[OracleInaCoracle]

its Liverpool Womens Hospital, Im under their recurrent mc clinic as well as RSH (Royal Shrewsbury Hospital) for help creating a viable pg.

[worrybum]

lissielou I am at the recurrent miscarriage clinic at the Royal Infirmary in Leicester. Professor Konje. Have yet to go for all of the tests though. I know I should probably wait to TTC. Only a couple of months before I may or may not get some answers eh?

[downbutnotout]

Hey lissie - how did it go?

[wen10]

Hi Lissielou, how is ds today, have you managed to make appointment?

Heidi - i know what you mean, how can we not get stressed about it!!!

Best wishes to you all and lets hope our dreams come true.
wenXXX.

[OracleInaCoracle]

couldnt make appointment, ds wasnt really well enough, poor thing still RSH next week for the drugs (next month)

[downbutnotout]

Sorry lissie - hope the clomid helps.

Don't feel too bad at the mo, but I am cd20 so the real monthly madness has yet to start....

Sorry for crashing the thread btw - know lissie from elsewhere but not others. My story - 1 lovely dd, then 3mcs and all tests negative. Have been ttc dc2 for nearly three years in total now. Will be asking for referral back to gynae if no bfp this month - wonder if clomid the way forward?

Sprinkling baby dust on all who post here!

[HeidiS]

I'm going mad - seriously

I'm on cd17 - I was sure I ovulated over the weekend - last night I had a migraine and today I have some pretty heavy spotting.

Now i know that spotting can be a sign of implantation...but not his early, right? And headaches can be an early sign of pregnancy (with all the hormonal changes) but again - not this early.

i'm just so confused and depressed and stressed - and sick of having to put a smile on my face around all the pregnant woman around and having to say stupid things like "Yes, we do want another one - yes, we know dd1 is getting big and needs a little sister/brother - yes, we're working on it"

why is this so hard?

[OracleInaCoracle]

heidi, you should see your gp. mid-cycle spotting should always be checked out, fingers crossed for you!

downbutnotout, my cons is putting me on clomid to help my irregular lp and it can also create a "better" environment for conception.

[downbutnotout]

Heidi are you all right? Hope things look slightly better today.

[HeidiS]

Hi
Spotting stopped, didn't go to doc...ended up getting a wonderful tummy virus that included high fever, passing out and getting so fantastically dehydrated that I got pins and needles in my hands...kind of took my mind off making babies for a few days -

Anyway, we have bolidays here for the next week and the doc I'm now under is off. By the time he's back I should either have a bfp or af (but considering how sick I was this week I don't think anything could stick) and once he's back I'll go and make an appointment with him and hope I don't get blown off for asking stupid questions like 'what's wrong with me/why I'm I not regular anymore/why can't anyone help me?'
Thanks for the concern downbutnotout Our stories sound really similar - but you've been trying for a year longer than us how old is your dd? ours is 4. I wanted no more than 3 years between kids but since dd1 was no problem I thought everything was going to work out fine now she's getting so big and I worry that the gap is already going to be too big for them to play well and have a good connection. One of my friends has a good few years between her and her brother and they're not close...she says 'we grew up with different parents - him with parents in their 20s me with parents in their 30s and just when he noticed it wasn't cool to play with little kids, I was old enough to want to go out and play with him'
anyway, good helping of baby dust all round
cheers

[downbutnotout]

Hey Heidi! dd is 4 too.

I have some thoughts on the whole thing for what it's worth: I have two elder sisters (5 and 7 years older, my mum had 1 mc between us). I didn't get on with either of them when they lived at home and our relationships have all ebbed and flowed between quite antagonistic and quite close over the years but we are now (mainly) on very good terms, as we have bonded over becoming parents. In fact one of my sisters was an absolute rock when I was struggling to come to terms with being a new parent. We are all very different people, but I know that I could rely on them in a crisis and vice versa.

Children are children for a very short part of their lives and their personalities will be in large part pre-determined (I believe), so they may or may not get along regardless of the age gap that's between them. All we can do is do our best job as parents to raise them to be well-rounded people and even if they don't appreciate one another now, maybe they will come to do so as adults and that will last for much longer.

Anyhow, I didn't plan to have such a big gap either but I am trying and failing to look on the positive side: when the baby comes dd1 will be at school and I will have the luxury of being able to give them my undivided attention for part of the time. It's not as if I have a choice anyway - if you had told me in my twenties that I would be this driven to have a child I would have laughed at you, but now I have an urge I can't ignore.

Suspect AF on it's way too, but trying not to lose hope yet...

[downbutnotout]

Help me - I am a recovering POAS addict and I was doing so well...

...but this month I have had three days of spotting which stopped today. AF was due today. Feel sick and tired. Have had all the above happen before without being pg (many, many times) but I really, really want to test.

[OracleInaCoracle]

oooh, is it that time of the month already? i feel a Step away from the first response thread coming on....

[downbutnotout]

Help me, lissie! If I can just hold out till Saturday, I'll be all right...

[OracleInaCoracle]

tah dah remember disenchanted? she got her BFP 10d late!

[downbutnotout]

Hurrah! Of course, now I think there's more hope for me. Must not test, must not test....

[OracleInaCoracle]

do not test!

[downbutnotout]

Well here I am again at cd1. Will be off to GP to tomorrow to see whether can get referral to fertility specialist. Have prepared blunt instrument and sharp words in case he advises me to relax.

[OracleInaCoracle]

they should refer you! have you seen my list of q's to pester ask the specialist? it may help to go in armed with stats and info too.

[downbutnotout]

Hey lissie! Wishing you a happy ovulation soon, if that's not too weird...

Well, saw the GP (not my usual one, but all to the good - he is a twat) and as expected he will not refer until we have been trying for a year since last mc, BUT he has given me all paperwork to get bloods for LSH etc and sperm test for dh so we can be ahead of the game if a referral is still needed at a year (two months away). And he didn't tell me to relax.

A bit depressed today though, recounting my post-dd ttc history always makes me feel like a great big failure, like I'm not a proper woman [wallowing in self-pity emoticon]. Had a very small weep on the way back from surgery. Off to get more chocolate.

[OracleInaCoracle]

oh DBNO, i know that feeling all too well. will he not refer on the basis of you not having a successful(sorry, crap word, i know) pg since dd (how old is she btw?)

[downbutnotout]

dd is 4 (and lovely but high maintenance - wonder where she gets that from?). No, as I am apparently "still within the normal range" he will not. But, as he say, I suspected he mght say that. Did not feel like demanding anything. For some reason, I always feel obliged to put on this air of resigned stoicism about my situation, as that seems appropriate for a professional woman in her thirties. What I actually want to do is reach across the desk, grab him by the lapels and shriek "What the fuck is wrong with me?"

I did the same with my consultant re: the mcs and I remember her saying: "Well, you seem very philosophical about this". I remember thinking: what bloody choice do I have? Whether I go out partying every night or sit in the corner crying, I still won't have a baby.

I feel so powerless but I don't want to become a victim. Though maybe I should scream and cry more and someone would pay some attention to me. Worry I will end up with a mental health issue as well as a fertility one...

[herbaceous]

i went to see my (lovely) GP yesterday, re fertility tests - as it's been a year since my last miscarrriage - and he was very nice, saying things like 'it's hard to rationalise away the desire to have a baby', and stuff. I do find myself making light of it all, as there's no other option, is there. Life has to go on - the alternative is even worse - so we have to make as easy as possible on ourselves.