Thread for sufferers of recurrent miscarriage

[OracleInaCoracle]

There seems to be a few of us, so thought i'd start a support thread.

[HeidiS]

lol
Thanks lissie
It's like a whole new lang

[OracleInaCoracle]

tis a bit.

[mistlethrush]

I think that one of the worst things was that all the other people being treated when I started treatment had children - and some of them thought I did, although that was my first pregnancy and had mc at about 10wks. Also felt that I was a fraud when I was in hospital - as there are only 3 treatment centres in the country, you're in places where most people have fairly drastic (or very/terminal) illness - and there you are looking OK and not having anything apparently physically wrong with you... Although I would be dead by now if I hadn't had the treatment.

So, all this ttc and mc stuff pales into insignificance given I now have one beautiful, delightful ds. Would just really like to have a sibling for him as he is really sweet with younger children, and there would be 'less pressure' on him in terms of needing to be a success etc...

[HeidiS]

I thought that the want/need for a baby wouldn't be as bad strong this time around since we do already have a dd. But no...want another baby - want one now
The man (and it must have been a man) who designed the hospital I go to, is an a$$. The clinic for recurrent mcs and for infertility is right next to the delivery rooms.
So while us poor infertile/problematic types wait for our turn to go into the doc we sit and listen to women scream and groaning through contractions and then the occasional scream of a new born baby.
um yeah...not too sensitive hey

[mistlethrush]

I'm lucky - I don't find it as bad this time - but I did have to wait for 6 yrs with a lot of heartache for ds, so we were pretty desperate for No1. I'm not saying that I wouldn't really like to have another, but what with the 2mc and the shadow of mp each time it happens, still wonder whether we'd be better just settling for 1. Before ds but after mp episode we'd agreed that, if mp came back we wouldn't try again, but see if we would be accepted to adopt. When you've got that far but still managed to get a dc, you just realise you've got so much to be thankful for. I am very broody and very when I see pregnant people (including our secretary at work) though...

[OracleInaCoracle]

tbh i find it worse this time around. I had a lot of problems when pg with ds and bled from 5w-20w. had numerous scans and so cant think of the beans ive lost as foetuses. because noah was a foetus that size. and i saw him.

[mistlethrush]

I got scan with ds at 6wks and 9wks, so I know where you're coming from. Strong hb at 6wks. At 9 wks really had a jumping bean - which is just what I've got aged 2.10 now... - just can't keep still, breakfast often has to be interrupted so that he can run round the kitchen table several times!

But Lissie - Noah was obviously meant to be, as was ds, despite problems. Since then, we weren't so lucky and beans not 'meant to be' for what ever reason. I know its hard. (((hugs)))

[OracleInaCoracle]

im ok really, doesnt help that my period (refuse to say af... my anuties were all sweet old ladies who didnt make me feel ill and ruin my clothes) is due today and i have no sign of it. not a peep. and i cant bring myself to test...

[HeidiS]

oh lissie
I'm not going to say anything...
just send you good vibes

mistlethrush - I can understand your worries that trying for dd2 could jepodise dd1's mum. but what are the chances of having another mp? And if you're aware of the risk and make sure you get checked out the minute you suspect you're preggers... I don't know, I'm bit ignorant when it comes to all this...so maybe I'm wrong?

Like I said earlier - we got pregnant with dd1 with no problems and it was a perfect pregnancy until the end of w36 - she was sitting on the exit and the docs were considering trying to turn her with outside manipulation. During the scans while they were trying to decide whether to try and turn her, they saw she hadn't gained more than 200 grams in the last 3 weeks - and because they thought there could be a problem they whipped her out with a cs. She was 2.3kgs and fine -
But now, after the problems ttc dd2 - the docs have been saying it might all be related - how they can't say

I guess I thought ttc dd2 would be as easy as dd1 - and all the drama took me by surprise

[mistlethrush]

Lissie was in a similar situation last autumn (although I ended up on MN to confirm cycle dates ). It's horrid isn't it. And even if you do get bfp, this doesn't guarantee anything.

HeidiS - chances of getting mp to the extent that I did (ie needing treatment other than d&c) is something like 1: 20,000. I think that the chances drop (increase?) to something like 1:200 once you've had it. I know that sounds still quite low, but 1:20,000 is a lot lower and it happened to me, so feels as if its a lot more likely to happen iyswim.

[OracleInaCoracle]

i kind of knowwhat you mean.thats how it is with my ep. I was so sure that it would never happen to me, the odds are slim so when it did and the odds of another one shortened it freakedme out. every pg I have been convinced that its another ep

[mistlethrush]

Lissie - same here, except its when I have mc that I'm sure that will get mp again (particularly after the 1st mc after ds took so long to sort itself out and get hsg levels down) - so instead of 'just' dealing with mc, have sleepless nights worrying about how on earth I'm going to cope with treatment with ds being so lively...

[HeidiS]

mistlethrush - 1:200 is enough to freak me out.
So completely understand your worry.
I'm also stressed that my next pregnancy with end in mc and what that'll mean for my stats/chances. The docs said that my first mc was twins - which is high risk anyway. And the second was early - where the risk is higher for everyone. And the third wasn't in the right place? But if I have anymore mc's I can't grasp onto that in my attempt at denial - which I'm pretty good at
We just had a story on our news about a newborn baby boy that was thrown in the garbage a few hours after he was born...he was found and rushed to the hosiptal and is doing fine but no one knows who/where his mom is. Makes me quite sick. There is a saying in Hebrew..."God sometimes gives nuts to people with no teeth." When I think of all the couples who are dying for a baby...

[Nina2]

Sorry to squeeze in. Not recurrent miscarriages as such at this end, but very pleased that someone has started a thread for this. I've just had a missed miscarriage, discovered at the 12 week scan. I've also had an ectopic and my ds was one of twins, one of which died at about 8 weeks and managed to reabsorb.

Although I've conceived 4 babies and only carried one to term, because the miscarriages seem so random I keep being told that they're just 'one of those things' - I'm beginning to wonder how many times 'those things' can keep happening .

Waiting for AF so that we can think about starting to TTC again.

[OracleInaCoracle]

nina, im sorry about your recent mc, how long ago was it?

[WorzselMummage]

I'm not strictly 'recurrent' either but i've had 3, a suspect blighted ovum (only discovered when i started miscarrying and scan showed just an empty sack) which was complete, a mc at 8 weeks and a mmc at 13 weeks which both required an erpc. I had my daughter after the first 2 and she was 8 weeks premature. I've not had any of the tests, i asked this time but have heard nothing, i might go to the GP and ask buy he's been as much use as tits on a bike about ttc it'd probably not be worth the effort !

I too am waiting for AF altough we've been ttc anyway

erpc was 3 weeks ago today.

sorry for all your losses x

[Nina2]

Thanks lissielou, I found out the middle of Jan, waited 2 weeks and ended up with erpc at the beginning of Feb.

V. annoyed at being so sober and sick over Christmas - just not fair!

Christmas 05 - recovering from ectopic, so not much booze.
Christmas 06 - breastfeeding, not much booze.
Christmas 07 - pregnant, no booze.
Christmas 08 - hopefully pregnant? Doh, no booze

Not known for my timing!

[bunnyinheadlights]

hello all - recognise many of you from the mc avengers thread (which seems to be awfully quiet these days) hope you don't mind me popping in here.

have had 2 mcs in 3 mths first one i was 10 wks along, had erpc, 2nd one at 5 weeks, naturally, no erpc needed. just had first af after the most recent mc. and now in real mess in my head whether to ttc or wait.

went to the acupuncturist for the first time yesterday. she said that my kidneys were weak and i had blood stasis. not sure what either means. she thought it would be common sense to wait and get stronger before trying again. anyone been for acupuncture after recurrent mc and had the same thing told to them? drs said to wait after first af. physically i do feel exhausted, but just want to get on and a baby. cant get out of my head that may is coming up and that was the due date of first baby i lost. i was envisioning a lovely summer with new baby.

torn between letting her treat me for a few mths and ttc right away. help!

[Blahmode]

Hello bunny, sorry for your losses. I've had acupuncture since Oct after my 3 m/cs last year and find it really beneficial, though expensive. I was told that my kidneys needed unblocking and I had "damp". At the start it made me laugh, the thought I had rising damp on top of everything else, but have come to really get a lot out of the sessions and have lengthened my luteal phase by 1 day which is all good. After 4 months, I feel better all round and apparently my blood flow & kidneys are much better. I went weekly for 2 months and then now have it in the first 2 weeks of my cycle, where its to do with building the egg and womb lining, apparently. She said my body had had so many ups and downs with all the pregnancies that it needed time to strengthen to prepare for the next pregnancy. Has your acupuncturist talked about diet as well?

[mistlethrush]

I've been going back to accupuncture for about 6 months - mainly due to sleep problems, but also because got pregnant last time that I saw her. Did sleep really well last night (well, the 6 hours I normally manage to be in bed before ds gets up anyway ). Apparently have some 'liver' issues - but heat main problem, not damp. Perhaps we should get together Blahmode - sounds as though we'd balance out quite nicely! Do you ever get the checking of pulse when they have to push really hard to get anything? One side in particular (R I think) - often much lighter than the L side. Very peculiar. And one spot on my foot she was finding yesterday made me shout out it hurt so much - was fine when she put the needle in once she'd found the spot though, and it doesn't appear to hurt today, so hope its done some good.

[bunnyinheadlights]

thanks blahmode and mistlethrush. yeah, i really was confused with all the terminology - googling it made my head spin. best to just trust her. she will put me on some herbs after 3rd visit. hmmm...

mistlethrush - i too yelped out loud on one spot on my thigh i made her take it out it was causing to much pain! but it is the same thigh/hip where i have chronic pain since giving birth to dd, so there must have been 2 years worth of congestion there. amazing stuff!

blahmode - she didnt talk about diet. but i am interested.will ask her next week - i was so overwhelmed with all the other info she was giving me. what did yours say about diet? oh the only thing she said was that i should stop eating dairy for a while coz of my blocked sinuses, but dont think it was related to mc.

[HeidiS]

Anybody had bits of the lining of their uterus stuck together? I don?t know what the technical term is?but when I had my hysteroscopy a month and a half ago the doc said he found a tiny patch that was a bit stuck. He opened it up but he said he didn?t think it was big enough to explain 3 mc?s (but then another doc said I can?t rule it out as a cause). But I?ve got my af now and it?s so much more like it used to be before the first mc and subsequent d&c.
TMI coming... I used to have af for about a week. It used to start with a bang and be strong for about 2 or 3 days and then taper off slowly to almost nothing towards the end of the week. But after that first mc ? it went funny. It would start with just spotting (which drives me mad when I?m hoping I?m preggers because when it starts I think?okay, it could still be some of that implantation bleeding) and then after a few days of next to nothing it gets strong and then tapers off ? which means my af can be almost 2 weeks if I count the first spotting day as day one (should I be doing that? Or starting form the first heavy day?????)

ANYWAYS (apologies for the rambling) this is my first real period since the doc opened the small sticky bit in the uterine lining and dear af has started with a bang?like it used to before all the problems started?

I?m trying hard to listen to my hubby who reminds me to be cautiously optimistic?and maybe I?m just grasping at straws?but I can?t help wondering if that sticky bit was enough to cause the problems and my af being 'back to normal' means it?s now all gonna be good??

AAAHHHH ? can you tell I?m obsessing? :P

[mistlethrush]

bunny - it wasn't the needle that was the problem - it was finding the spot to put the needle into to start with.

Heidi, sorry, can't help, no experience of that. I'm just waiting to find out whether there is any chromasone or cimilar reason for mc happening. Its good things are settling down to more like their previous pattern - hope that is a good omen.

[Poppys]

Hi Every one

Hope you don't mind me joining.

I've had 3 mc's in the last 9 months and the hospital has at last referred me and DH for blood tests. We have to wait 8 weeks to allow my hormones to get back to normal after the last pregnancy and have an appointment for the end of April - is it right that we have to wait this long? It just seems like such a long time and so tempting to ttc in the meantime.

Can anyone give me any idea how long we will have to wait for the results of the blood tests as well??

In the meantime I'm really tempted to try acupuncture or reflexology - has anyone had real benefits from either.

Reading all your stories makes me realise that I am not alone.

Thanks in advance for your advice.

[Blahmode]

Hello Poppys, sorry about your m/cs. My last one was in October and was told not ttc until appointment at recurrent m/c unit in Jan. This was v hard as I'm 43 and feel like I have zero time left. I really know how you feel. We had our bloods and my scan done end of Oct and got all results mid Jan so the whole process took a while. Heard good things about reflexology but not tried it yet and am getting a lot out of acupuncture so would recommend that, try finding one who specialises in fertility if poss.

Mistle & Bunny I was surprised how much acup can hurt though, especially the foot ones - like a wasp sting sometimes. Bit hard to relax sometimes when you want to kick the acupucturist! She doesn't press hard on me for pulse, its firm but not hard. Diet-wise they talk about reducing dairy, spicy foods, juices from concentrates, sugar, caffeine all the things I like. They also recommend avoiding eating cold things out of season (i.e. salads in winter), so food should be warmed or hot if possible and a big yes to porridge, brown rice, pulses and steamed veggies/fish/chicken.

Period arrived today so its back to CD1 for me, sigh.