The geriatric gang 👵🏻🤰

[Stillwinston]

Just a lighthearted thread for those of us now considered to be geriatric by the NHS 😂 looking to meet other women TTC who may also be feeling past their prime!

A little bit about me - I'm 36 and TTC dc no.2. Been trying for over 2 years now and depressingly started AF today so am yet again starting CD1. Hubby doesn't quite understand how upsetting this is each month so it'd be great to chat with ladies who get how I'm feeling ❤️

Hey Ladies, just popping on for a bit of support really, having a shitter today 😭 I've every emotion going right now. Have just spoken to my brother (we're really close but the one thing I've never spoke to him about is our TTC journey because since our first MC I just decided it was best to wait until the 12 week mark rather than getting all hopes up etc) anyways he and his wife are expecting.... I'm so happy for them (they've got 4 between them already - teens, 2nd marriage for both so no DC together) they didn't want any more (been together 10 years) but it's happened and they're getting their heads around it and looking forward to it now. I'm so so jealous and also slightly angry (not at them, just how shit it is that life can be so cruel as we're desperate for a child and they're accidentally having one) I cried all the way through the conversation- he couldn't believe my excessive tears of joy.

On a slightly separate note I've definitely got my LH surge today and also EWCM is in full flow today so need to crack on later/tomorrow as it's our last try before we say enough is enough. Come on Mother Nature send me some bloody luck!!! Sorry it's a long one 😭💞

@Infinitebows that's such a headf**k, nature can be so random sometimes, there's no rhyme or reason to any of it. I've been here, a friend got accidentally pregnant and had a termination right after my MC. It's really hard.

All signs are positive for you though, time to get busy! And then busy again! Really hoping that this is your month. And all of our month!

@Infinitebows its completely normal to feel that way. A new baby is truly the hardest news to digest. OHs brother had a baby and within 3 months after the birth she announced she was pregnant again with another. Of course you want someone to enjoy their beautiful family but it's devastating. That for me was a real kick me while I'm down moment from mother nature

Heres a question. Do any of you ladies experience alot of ecwm and a LH surge before your period ?

@Maizie83 @MK85 thanks for replying just felt so much better for sharing and knowing someone else understands. Sounds like you've definitely both felt like I do recently. It's wank!
Sorry if tmi, but to keep this lighthearted.... we've just DTD and I'm laying on the sofa with my legs totally raised high while DH cooks tea. Anyone else do this?
@MK85 I only ever have the ewcm mid cycle but haven't ever tested for LH surge close to period starting so I wouldn't know if there's another one happen around then. Xx

@Infinitebows oh that’s so hard. I hope he was sensitive in the way he delivered the news? I’d feel the same as you. It just feels so unfair doesn’t it.

@MK85 I haven’t but I’ve heard others say they have, but if I were you I would be getting busy in case this is a surge and about to release an egg!

@Infinitebows sorry 😞 i know what you mean, you can be happy for people but then there that sad/angry/jealous feeling. I think it’s a different type of jealousy though. I’m not a very jealous type of person normally but when I find out someone I know is pregnant i feel an intense longing and sad feeling 😞

@Infinitebows I'm so sorry about the news xx It's so hard and your feelings are justified. It's horribly unfair. No such thing as TMI here, at least not for me haha. I don't raise my legs after DTD, though I do have my bum slightly elevated with a pillow. DH just tosses a big pillow over so I can stick it under me right away. Our issue is predominantly low sperm, so the more gravity and time for the swimmers to get up there, the better.

@ttcat37 @SarahShorty @cornflakes86 thanks so much. You're all amazing and as I've said before I'm so thankful to be part of this wonderful thread. You all keep me sane. Tbf to my brother if he knew our situation with the MCs, time trying etc he'd be devastated for us. I'm also not a jealous person by nature as I know in so many other ways we're super lucky but this one thing 'accidental babies' just really gets me.
I'm the same Sarahshorty, very open (too much at times) so have to reign myself in with the over sharing 🤭 my big pillow was there about 40 mins and I've only dared stand up about 30 mins ago - the things we do! Sorry about the low sperm issue 🤞🏼 where are you in your cycle now?

@MK85 how long are your cycles? How close to AF are you experiencing it?
I have 24 day cycles ......I sometimes get that.

@Infinitebows so sorry I haven't replied sooner, today has been mad.

That must have been so hard and it's completely understandable why you reacted the way you did - I don't think anyone can truly understand the constant battle between joy/jealousy/sadness of pregnancy announcements when you're having difficulties TTC until you're in this position. Just know that your feelings are valid and totally normal given how tough a time you've been having - we're all here to support 💕

I think I'm coming up to my LH surge but have decided to forgo testing this month and just try to DTD every other day to try and reduce some of the pressure - will probably kick myself that we didn't try harder in a couple of weeks time though 😂

Hope everyone's doing ok xxx

@Stillwinston thank you 😊 hope you're doing okay too. You're normally quite in line with my cycle (though I did come on a few days before you this last time) and my LH surge was definitely today. Get cracking and good luck. 💗

@Infinitebows I'm 9DPO and caught my surge bang on this time. I have to track because my cycles vary a little bit and we need to preserve those few little spermies we have each time. AF is due on the 20th, so if it arrives, I'll then go for my next transfer. One perk of IVF is that you have to have a natural cycle in between transfers, so bung one in, if it doesn't take, try the old fashioned way, ad-infinitum.

@Infinitebows I'm probably also oversharing but the month I fell pregnant I raised my hips to an angle when he ejaculated so his swimmers were already heading in the right direction when they took off. Unlikely that made the difference but I'm sure it didn't hurt either.I don't bother with putting my legs in the air anymore or proping myself up afterwards, I just can't be arsed really but I've done all sorts of mad shit over the years in the hope gravity would give us a helping hand. One time we dtd on one of those big bouncy exercise balls so that I could roll backwards afterwards 😄

@unicornglitter123 Any day now. I was expecting AF to start yesterday. My cycles really vary in length as ovulation date is never the same but I usually bleed 14 days after ovulation. Im 15dpo but temp has slumped this morning so I think its imminent

Have any of you explored acupuncture and/ or Chinese medicine on your TTC journey? Had a 45 minute phone chat with a practitioner in both these things tonight, and she had some interesting insights. She seems to think that blood deficiency is Chinese medicine is a common cause of recurrent MC and that treating this has resulted in successful pregnancies. My GP said my iron levels were in the normal zone, but on the low end post-MC. This practitioner said that the blood is evaluated differently in Chinese medicine. Anyway, I am clueless and just curious if anyone has any experience with this. I'm going to give it a go, and will come back with any findings.

Sorry I haven’t been able to be on here much recently - life has been a bit manic! Certainly can’t see myself conceiving this month with work being so stressful… might have to just hold out for the summer hols 🤦‍♀️

I’m not even going to attempt to catch up with all the comments on here (it would mean an epic post!) but just wanted to say that I’m really sorry that so many of us are having a shit time at the moment. @Infinitebows I am so sorry that you are having a shit time at the moment and I think most of us would have reacted in the same way. Try not to beat yourself up about it; I think all of us would be feeling exactly the same in your position!

@MK85 the only time I’ve seemed to have what looked like a surge before AF was when I was pregnant - unfortunately it ended in a chemical so levels dropped back down again before AF arrived a few days late. Also, the the last two times I’ve fallen pregnant (the tfmr and chemical) my first indicator was more discharge (sorry I’m also in the tmi team) than normal - though I’m not sure it was like ewcm but I can’t really remember.

@Stillwinston I’m trying to do the same but not sure I’ll be able to stick to it… I’m currently CD11 and trying not to use opks: just listen to my body a bit more and dtd every 2 days. Not sure we’ll manage that though with how stressful work is atm.

Luckily I’m rubbish at remembering to use opks in the morning anyway and can’t do them at work so that helps 😂

@Maizie83 my friend did acupuncture whilst TTC and said it definitely helped her stress levels but she's not sure about the effect on fertility. I know a lot of women swear by it though so it can't hurt (I hope 😂) to give it a try 👍🏻

@Downtherabbithole83 same with me, I always forget to do them anyway so it's pointless putting so much pressure on myself. Fingers crossed our strategy works 🤞🏻

@Infinitebows thank you and same to you - think we're pretty much tracking the same cycle this time so hopefully we'll have some good news in a couple of weeks 😬

Really hoping AF doesn't arrive for you @SarahShorty these next few days are hard aren't they, checking for every little symptom of AF or not. When you say caught your surge bang on time, did you DTD on the day of the peak surge or after or both? My peak was yesterday and I'm going to try to get DH to DTD again today but don't fancy my chances after last night's session!
@MK85 I asked my doctor about this and she said just do it if it makes you feel better. She couldn't say either way if it actually helps but I don't want those swimmers going any which way but up! We also mostly have sex at the angle you describe around ovulation time. Me on top is a no around that time! Pillow queen 😂
@Downtherabbithole83 thank you for your support. Sorry to hear work is stressful but hopefully regular sex and no pressure from tracking this month like @Stillwinston you may get there anyway.

🤞🏼 for some great BFP's this month xxx

@Infinitebows We DTD'd on the LH high, LH peak and ovulation day. Which turned out to be three nights in a row this time.

And I knew I'd ovulated or was ovulating because this time I got the unmistakable pain of it. When the follicle bursts open, the fluid inside irritates all the delicate tissues in the area and boy did I feel it. Though I don't always get the pain, I think it depends on where exactly on the ovary the follicle bursts.

It's taken me about a year to figure out what a high LH reading is for me. Some people get 0.8 as a high, I get 1 or more. Each night of DTD was the best sex we can have, ie gourmet sex. Apologies for any TIM, but if you both get close to climax and then slow down, then get close and slow down again, like maybe 4 times, the final climax is much more intense, which means the woman gets wetter, which helps the swimmers to travel up and the man's ejaculation is more powerful and pulls further from the back which picks up more sperm. I could be talking bollocks (haha) but, whatever works, right?

We've managed to DTD again while DH popped back in for breakfast! Definitely didn't manage the slow down mode as it was just a quickie (I have to take what I can get) but there was 'plenty there' and I'm hoping we've covered all bases now 🤞🏼 definitely whatever works! You have to do what you have to do. Who knew making babies was so technical and hard!
I'd never experienced ovary pain until after my last MC and had it the three cycles I've had since.

@Maizie83 I've considered having acupuncture and fertility reflexology but I haven't managed to fit it in yet as the clinic runs only on weekdays, which doesn't suit me. I've heard acupuncture is great for improving blood flow to the uterus which in turn builds a strong lining .
I believe chinese medicine is all about addressing the root of the problem whereas western medicine is about addressing the symptoms. I did see a Chinese practitioner , probably about 10 years ago, and he strongly pushed herbal medicine on me which consisting of drinking tea and taking herbs . He said it would correct my hormonal balance. To be honest, it did quite the opposite.
I think therapeutic techniques are great, weather they do work or not, anything that makes you feel like your doing good can relieve stress which is vital for reproductive health but my advice is just to be wary if they suggest consuming anything

A quick update: I had some very brief, sharp uterine cramps earlier. They were very similar to those I've had before when I have conceived. I'm cautiously optimistic, ultimately preparing myself for the possibility of going for my next transfer. I hope everyone is doing okay xx