Any other fellow TTCers trying for #2?

[NewMomma21]

Just wondering if there is anyone else out there trying for number 2? Fourth cycle in, having gotten pregnant quickly on 1st. I assumed it would be the same this time around but no joy as of yet.

@lemonyfox Thank you! I think I'll give it a couple of months to build up although it'll probably take months to conceive. 😅

@Banditrules Oh its so hard isn't it! I remember wasting lots of tests and then when I got my BFP I refused to test until 18DPO 🙈

@justwantobeamum Welcome! I'm so sorry for your losses 😔 I really hope its quick this time for you. All pregnancies are different so don't rule it out just yet. TTC can feel very consuming. I'm hoping having an energetic toddler might take my mind of things! Took us 3 months last time but expecting more like 6 months - a year this time (once we get going).

@GemLou88 Exciting! It's nice to know other people are waiting until their first baby is 2, I've felt like I'm a bit different for waiting so long 😅

Hi. Can I join. Got pregnant straight away with first on first cyle. Now on cycle 15 and nothing (different partner and know fertility issues) but finding it hard now. Got appointment to be seen in feb.

@LeopardLover 😂 honestly I would have waited another year 😂 but DP has a teenager from a previous relationship and was set on not having anymore after our DS. He knows I’d love another so has agreed we can try again, as long as we try now because he feels he is getting too old 🙄 but at least now whenever we conceive DS will be at least 3 so works out nicely 🤞🏻

@user1019273703 Hello! It's understandable you're finding it tough now. I really hope your fertility appointment gives you some answers and a plan for moving forward.

@GemLou88 Haha even I wonder if it's too soon but it'll probably take a long time so why not get cracking ( I still need at least 3 months 😅)! Oh bless him, but at least it's a compromise I guess? I think my DH would've been ready months ago, but now we're in the full on tantrum phase I don't think he's as keen 🤣

Did anyone have a C-Section with their first? I'm going to have one next time due to a physically traumatic first birth (on advice of the Drs) so I feel like I need to mentally prepare for that too. One thing at a time, I know.

We waited until our son was 2 before starting to try, I always felt like 3 years was a nice gap! Hats off to ladies who have smaller age gaps, I know I didn't want to as I wanted to enjoy just having one for a while. I'm so broody now though it's almost a physical ache.

I had a section too. It was an emergency one so not the nice calming experience electives are, but I found recovery a lot better than expected. Days 2 and 3 post surgery were VERY painful lying down/getting up, but generally once you're up and about it's fine. The only ongoing annoying thing is I'm completely numb from my scar up to halfway to my belly button, zero feeling still to this day. Still weird me out lol.

Happy to answer anything else! X

Open question what would you do?

We are waiting to start TTC until I qualify for enhanced maternity for this baby must be due on/ after 20/11/2023. Looking at my tracking data if I start next month and ovulate when expected EDD would be 22/11/2023.

Would you try or wait another month?!

@Giles1008 it’s up to you really but I was in your situation and chose to wait another month. If I remember rightly my due date would also have been just a couple days after my cut off date for enhanced leave, but with my first DC my due date got pulled forward by 4 days at the scan so that put me off!

That being said, isn’t it normally you have to be in your 25th week of pregnancy by the time you’ve worked there a year? So a couple days might not make a difference? It’s your call anyway, for us we waited the month just to be in the clear - as annoying as it was as I was ready to go!

@Giles1008 I had the same dilemma with my first and chose to wait. It's probably unlikely the date will be brought forward but It's just not worth the financial anxiety! Had a lovely year off with my package from work so it was definitely worth waiting that extra month, as frustrating as it is.

Just wondering if anyone else is on a similar cycle to me? Period is due on the weekend but I convinced myself I felt implantation cramps a couple of days ago and took a test this morning. Negative obviously! I'm probably only 8dpo! I don't know why we do this to ourselves 🙃

@Banditrules @Parkopedia Thanks for your replies! I know the sensible thing is to
wait another month.

I’ve not even asked for my maternity policy yet because I think my probation is 6 months (February). Next month I’ll double check all dates. I’m starting my calculations from
the first day I started the job but need to double check my contract it might have started on the 1st September in which case I’m clear by a week 🤞🏻

Waiting another month means a Christmas week baby if we are successful. I’m also not really enjoying my new role which is adding to me wanting to get started. But you’re both right I should wait!! So desperate for another little baby!

Good Luck @Parkopedia I was 10 DPO last time when I got my positive and it was soooo faint

@Parkopedia AF is due on Sunday for me, 9dpo today & I’m also cramping but trying not to look too much into it or get my hopes up. It is super early for a test though!

Someone on another thread posted this link & it put things into perspective a bit for me when it comes to early tests.

www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test/results-by-day-past-ovulation.php

Oh that's so interesting @Banditrules thank you!

Definitely helps to keep hopes up. I flip flop from thinking I might be pregnant and then talking myself out of it.

@Banditrules that is really interesting to know. It is so hard not to test!

@Parkopedia @user1019273703

I found it interesting too! And it’s actually put me off testing early a bit if there’s a high chance of getting a BFN whether I’m pregnant or not, I’d rather just be disappointed the once rather than numerous times!

I would personally wait, if your enhanced maternity pay is worth it.

Yes. I feel like I need a negative to give up my hopes of another month and move on.

@lemonyfox Thank you so much for sharing! I'm sure I'll have questions once that BFP comes. It seems pot luck regarding recovery and lasting numbness etc!

@Giles1008 I'd definitely wait another month but that's my personality type 🤣 My EDD also changed after my first scan!

@Banditrules Wow, such an interesting website. Good to see the stats too - at my age, 1 in 10 chance of conceiving in month 1. I probably won't bother testing unless my period is really late on month 1 🤣 Fingers crossed for you and @Parkopedia!

@LeopardLover were in the tantrum phase too. And he still doesn’t sleep through the night. I am amazed by Mums with little ones with smaller age gaps.

@Banditrules thank you for sharing. This is so interesting, will definitely be using all the calculators

@Giles1008 long delay to your question but my son is 2.5 now so definitely going to be enough of a gap at this stage!

I had naively thought there would be a 2yrs9month gap if we started trying when he was 2......

I think mat package wise I wouldn't chance it either, all you need is someone particularly pedantic in HR and you would miss out even by a few days. Know what you mean job wise though, I'm really not enjoying mine at the moment but if I move I'll have to wait 6 months to start trying again (notice period and waiting for mat leave). It's difficult when there's uncertainty with how long it might take to conceive.

@Banditrules great website, I was also interested in the probabilities of conceiving at different ages. Makes me feel a bit less stressed actually, mine is also 1 in 10 per cycle which is a lot lower than I thought. So less of a shocker that it's been 6 months.

I'm just on CD 10, reckon I'll ovulate on CD 16 ish. Some months feel so long! I do feel like I end up wishing the time away which I really don't want to do especially when I should be just enjoying it with my DS

Oh and @LeopardLover I had a maternal request elective C section first time. I found the while thing to be a positive experience and recovery was fine. It was during the 2020 heatwave which made keeping the scar dry pretty tough so ended up with an infection, but it wasn't a big deal and was up and out walking to places normally within a week.

I'll opt for the same again though do wonder if it will be harder with the no lifting part.

@Jigglemonster Oh this is great to hear, thank you for sharing! Not so good to hear about the infection but I'd take that over my recovery. It'll be hard not to pick my toddler up 🤔

Seeing the fertility odds I am tempted to get cracking a little earlier, but my fitness isn't quite right. It's good these have helped put you mind at ease!

@GemLou88 No sleeping through the night here either! Lots of "Mamas" through the night 😂 xx

Yeah that's a very good point, after scans my due date was brought forward a whole week!

How's everyone getting on this month? I'm finding that it's dragging and I (apparently) haven't even ovulated yet. Trying to follow SMEP but I guess it works better for very regular cycles - my DH is exhausted! 😂

@Jigglemonster it’s so tiring I’m not surprised he’s exhausted 😂I was knackered by the end of my fertile period.

I got a BFP on Saturday, feeling a bit anxious/keen to make sure all is well so booked an early scan for 8 weeks.

Congratulations @Banditrules - that's fantastic news! Also definitely good to get a bit of comfort with an early scan. The first 10/12 weeks is very long without one