POAS: With only the IC in stock...someone help us 🤣

[FfayeN]

You asked for it......😘

@TheBirdintheCave it just made me so sad to think of you feeling how I felt this time last year ❤️ hope you’re ok

It's the worst timing too as the EPU have just told me I have to carry a dead baby around until the third of January 🤦🏻‍♀️

@TheBirdintheCave I am so so sorry. I wish I was in a position to give you a big cuddle. Make sure you take the next few weeks as they come, that's just from my own experience. If you need any of us please just rant on here, we will help get you through this. I certainly couldn't have done it without you lot. It WILL get easier too, though as you know you will have ups and downs.
Next steps wise...if you want any guidance just shout (we seem to have very similar bodies with pregnancy).
Massive hugs for you and DH.
I was hoping with everything the outcome would be different for you 😢 xxx

I'm just not sure what to do next. Full testing at the Epsom fertility clinic is around £4k but that would only tell us what, if anything, is wrong with us.

By the power of the Ferti-lily we could try again and I could try aspirin next time if we ever got it to work again.

Or do we do IVF and have the clinic do genetic testing on any embryos and/or a frag test on my husband's sperm beforehand?

But if it's something wrong with me and not my husband then I could still lose any other baby we create.

I wish I was a millionaire.

@TheBirdintheCave don't we all. Under NHS guidelines they should send off this little one for testing? Although the wait for results is a long one. Hopefully once I've had my biopsy with prof Brosens I could tell you more about that. Due to cost we've had to wait for the NHS tests and then doing the Tommys (Brosens) so at the moment it's just about £1k. He does do zoom consultations though which may be difficult for you? I can always forward the information email (that goes for any of you btw). I know I wanted to start thinking about ways forward straight away hence my message, but if that's not good for you please say xxx

@TheBirdintheCave I'm so so sorry to hear your news lovely. You're not alone and we're all here for you. I had 2 healthy babies before my 2 MMC's. Also had the same thoughts as you and I decided to go with aspirin for this current pregnancy. I'm 39 as well. Think my issue was probs egg quality mixed in with bad luck in all honesty. Did u have any tests after your first MC? Xx

@TheBirdintheCave if you have any questions regarding the fertility testing, just let me know. You should be able to get a referral to Dr S NHS reoccurring miscarriage clinic. I live in his borough so was lucky that I didn't need a referral so managed to get the tests without forking out a fortune. The downside of this is that it takes a while from start to finish. I've had all the tests now - last one was sperm frag (this was private) which showed high so realistically I know this pregnancy probably won't work out. I would recommend immune testing as there does seem to be a lot in it (even though many dismiss this!) Echoing what @FfayeN says, take this time to grieve and we are all here for you even if it's just to vent. It's so incredibly hard and so unfair that some us seem to have such awful luck. Biggest hug from me x

@TheBirdintheCave also - I don't think there is a right or wrong with which route you decide to take. If you want to try immediately after, go ahead (I think @calimc83 was successful immediately after?) and if you need time to process then that's ok too. Do whatever you both feel is right for you 💕

@FfayeN Yeah I think we'll ask for this one to be tested. Last time the baby had stopped growing very early on so there was nothing for me to see or save. I'm a bit scared of having to go through this one coming out and actually looking at it, even though I know it's still only tiny.

I didn't even think of looking at Tommy's. I'll have a read on there. Happy to receive an email with any info you have :) I can PM you my email address when I get my computer out. I'm the same in that I just want to have the next steps in place and get going. I hate waiting around.

I'm not sure what the NHS would offer us now in terms of tests as we already have our boy. Probably nothing :(

@calimc83 I'm 36 so I'm worried it might be my eggs too :/ Good to know your current pregnancy is a success that came after two losses though. That gives me a bit of hope in regard to maybe trying one more time and using aspirin.

@bunnykins123 Oh interesting to hear you could get NHS referral to Dr S. Might be worth a shot. Though getting a GP appointment with our doctors to get the ball rolling is like pulling teeth 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️ My husband's work is right by the Epsom clinic so it would be very handy.

@TheBirdintheCave have you got to have labour induced then?

@TheBirdintheCave they should test as you have had 2 or 3 MCs.
Were given an option of medical or surgical management? Xx

@LuckyMoonstone @FfayeN I think it'll just be the same tablets as last time unless things start by themselves over the weekend. I'm a bit scared of the surgical option as knowing my luck I'd get scarring and I don't want to lose all of my lining either :/ I think it takes months to build up again, right?

@FfayeN yes AF had ramped up. still what most people would call light but def more than I was having it's very much like fertile
Mucus but red 🤷🏼‍♀️ tested again about an hour ago it's now peak guess I'll just keep an eye on temps see if O actually happens.

I went to the pharmacy for covid tests thankfully negative 💪🏼

@TheBirdintheCave oh lovely I'm so so so sorry ❤️ wish I could give you a huge hug life is absolutely shit sometimes xxx

@TheBirdintheCave I would ask their advice as i was offered both options. After taking progesterone I was told the medication may not be as affective. Surgically there is a small risk of scarring. I personally found the surgery easier mentally. I was just recommended to not have sex for 3 weeks incase of infection but I don't believe it takes any longer to TTC again. I don't want to confuse you just make sure you have all the info from your doctor for each option 😊 xxx

Surgically obviously they take the sample for testing rather than you having to try and catch it or keep it too. It all depends what the next steps are for you lovely moving forward 😘. Xxx

@mummatara oh wow!! I guess the bonus is you haven't exhausted yourself DTD lol. Get on it though girl 🤣🤣 xx

@TheBirdintheCave I have no experience with taking the medication but I did opt for a ERPC for mine as mentally, I needed it to be over and done with. I'm not sure if you've had one before but it was really smooth and had no after effects from it at all. How are you feeling after the shock this morning? 💕

@mummatara I sometimes found the longer mine went on, my cm became EWCM but with streaks of dark blood in it (grim, I know!)

@FfayeN 🤣 I know quite glad about that actually though this evening efforts are going to be hard DH is still in bed and has been chucking up all day my room smells like beer farts 🙄🤢 bloody boys night out ruining my plans 😂 xx

@TheBirdintheCave I found the surgical much easier though saying that I don't have any experience with the tablets just trying to let it happen naturally. I fell the cycle after the first surgery so I don't think you need to worry too much about the lining

@bunnykins123 yes it's not really streaky just red stretchy looking cm I haven't tried to stretch it but it looks about right. I wonder if it seems to be more the last couple of days because I have produced more cm 🤔

@bunnykins123 Just sad and feeling like we'll never give our son a sibling now. I also have to watch my sister-in-law carry on her pregnancy and have a baby in June. It's so depressing :( I'm also annoyed at myself for panicking about the spotting and moving what should have been the eight week scan a week earlier. I could have found out the baby was dead on the 20th and been mostly out the other side now. I'm such an idiot. I've wasted two weeks of time.

Just been reading about aspirin on the Tommy's website and they're saying it can interfere with implantation so they don't recommend it :/ Now I don't know what to believe.

I could believe one MMC was down to bad luck but two makes me so scared to try again.

@TheBirdintheCave it is so so shit, take a few days to let your head clear a bit, right now everything seems so horribly hopeless but you may surprise yourself with your strength and determination, I know I have

@TheBirdintheCave I'm right here with you lovely! It's a minefield to know what to do next. You have support here 😘.

@mummatara sounds like only one position will do tonight then! No face to face contact!!! X

I have friends who are obstetricians also seeing fert patients and honestly, I buggered them enough with various questions eg re paracetamol, NK cells, back to back losses. I notice that things drs say can often differ between drs themselves and often differ to what is believed on mumsnet. I can make a list of things we discussed that I remember as long as people will not get offended. Obviously, if you go to different doctors, they might say different things because that is how things are in medicine sometimes! Also, this is not me giving medical advice, definitely not.
Are people happy for me to share? I just don't want to offend anyone if I say things opposite to what they have been told by their drs or midwifes. Don't want to force any opinions onto anyone.