Hello Mums to be
Thank you for creating this thread which I would love to join.
I came across it while googling about cervical mucus. I do details so that it helps to paint a picture. Apologies if it is too much info but I hope it helps someone. Here is my story…
Age 31
TTC since 2020 but not ‘religiously’ every month. After AF we would DTD every day or so. I would know the fertile window but after this passed we would just do it as and when. Leading up to AF, I would experience mild cramping and fatigue. Then when period comes feel fine and just cry at the sight of AF.
Today, I am 8-10 DPO. I say this because currently the Premom app says 8DPO. Initially the app said I was due to ovulate on Sunday 30th Oct (which would make today 10DPO). For this cycle I started doing the ovulation testing. My high readings started on 29th, continued to 30th and even on 31st. Based on that, the app recalculated and said ’Peak’ was on 31st (hence why it is telling me I am 8 DPO). I hope that makes sense so far.
This month, I done something different. I ordered this thing called Fertilily from Amazon. You insert it after DTD and the aim is to keep the sperm up in the cervix to encourage travel in the other direction instead of it leaking out. With it in, I would stay on my back and elevate my hips/legs. I done this 25th - 30th October with a rest to allow the sperm to reproduce itself in that time. I started early so that I could practice putting this thing in by the time I was ovulating. I got to day 2 and just cried because I found it difficult! The next day I told myself that this was something that we really wanted so I was determined to shove this thing in and get it right. It got easier and went in with ease. When I pulled it out, there was minimal semen fluid (see picture).
I have also been taking pregnacare conception every day this cycle which I didn’t do before.
Sunday 6 Nov, I saw someone I hadn’t seen in a long time (a year). She got married 5 years ago and says she had PCOS. They have been TTC since then. When she turned around she had a baby bump. I was soooo happy for her but at the same time I cried! I actually cried for most of the day. It made me think wow, it happened for her finally and I had so many questions about whether it was a natural conception or if they had help however I couldn’t bring myself to ask. (This is normal for me. It’s not jealousy at all, I am genuinely happy but I start beating myself up with all the ‘what if it it doesn’t happen for me’ thoughts, alongside ‘every year that goes by I’m getting older’.
Fast forward to Monday 7 Nov (2 days ago at 6DPO) I started to experience cramping. Of course I am now googling the difference between PMS and implantation cramping. On top of that I am also feeling tired. I returned from work with a terrible headache. Yesterday, Tuesday 6 Nov, the same cramping but on top of that wetness. You know when AF starts, you feel a wet bubble that may make you think ‘uh oh’ it was that kind of moment but because I am diligently checking this cycle, I knew it wasn’t that.
I decided to inspect the CM. Got home from work and before showering looked down there with a mirror. Very wet, whitish, watery, little stretchy. All these years of having AF and all of a sudden I can’t really remember if my CM looks like this around this time. I know when we DTD around this time its tight, drier, cervix closed etc. However this time, since ovulating we have had no intercourse at all to give it the best chance during the 2WW.
Later in the evening I experienced 2 very sharp twinges which made me stop on my tracks.
Today… at work I felt tired and drained. I have had cramping all day. In my mind, it’s starting a few days too soon before AF…
I came home and inspected CM again. Now I’m curious and a little impatient as there is just under a week to go for AF. See images.
After, I literally showered and came to lay down because I’m feeling so drained.
Put my phone on DND but can’t sleep because I’m obsessing in silence about what could be. Don’t want to talk to anyone to avoid people always asking me how it’s going which makes me upset. Not mentioned anything to hubby because I’m trying to manage his expectations. He wants it as much as I do.
If anything changes I shall let you know and keep you updated after AF is due which originally should be Sunday. Now the app says Tuesday 15. If i get pass this day without AF, my 10 years of crying will be over. I almost feel like I would never cry tears of sadness again and it will be pure tears of joy.
Keep praying and have faith ❤️
p.s We are on the waiting list for IVF specifically ICSI. Was supposed to start in June 2022 but due to a lack of staff this has been pushed back. So painful. As a NHS worker you know learn about the body, pressures across different services etc but being a patient on the other end is so frustrating. I’m documenting with pictures etc because I want to encourage all of those who have really struggled and been told its not possible. Happy to take any questions.
Good luck everyone.