Preparing to TTC in 2023

[DanisEndo]

Hi,

I'm part of a lovely thread which was started in 2021 for those planning to start TTC in 2022 and it was such a supportive group! we've now seen lots of positives and given each other a lot of support and tips through ups and downs.

I'm now 'pausing' TTC until after my wedding in 2023 and thought it'd be nice to start up a similar thread to see if there is anyone else now prepping and getting excited for next year!

On the last thread everyone introduced themself by saying their age, what they're trying for and when they plan on starting - I'll then keep a list up to date and post so everyone can easily see others who are at the same stage as them!

I'll go first:

Age: 27
TTC no: 1
Starting: Sep 23

Between now and then I'm going to be taking folic acid, try and loose some lbs to get closer to a healthy BMI, save some money in a baby pot and enjoy some 'baby free' activities (i.e., wine, gin, sushi and surfing!). I have endometriosis and PCOS so going to try and get my periods more regular and pain management via diet.

@babybrainfart huge cogratulations! You must be thrilled! Wishing you all the best

Following for tips

Congratulations 🎉!!

Trying

@Weefreetiffany No.2
@WanOvaryKenobi 30, No.1
@louloulollipop 31, No.1

TTC 2023

January

@Mushroo 31, No.1
@Almondbut 31, No.1
@bethhop85 37, No.1
@TrudyProud 36, No.2

February

@marleyandme 27, No.1
@babybrainfart 33, No.3
@winterbabyrose 27, No.2

March

@happyfeet5 No.1
@pmore23 28, No.2

June

@ViewFromTheAfternoon 29, No.1

August

@LibbyL92 30, No.1

September

@DanisEndo 27, No.1

October

@123ROLO 29, No.1

welcome @pmore23 @123ROLO and @LibbyL92 !! So nice to have such a lovely group to go through all this with!

@123ROLO Oooo congrats! Hows your wedding planning coming along? I think you're right about having time to prep. I've already learnt about alot of vitamins from here which I'll be looking into aha Pandeminc, Endo surgeries and stress have really done a number on me the last couple of years, so weight loss and stretching out my achey joints pre baby would be great.

@babybrainfart oh my gosh!!! Our first group positive?! Keep us updated, will all keep our fingers crossed for you!

Ive really dived into wedding planning this week which has helped get me excited and feel more confident in our decision to wait till after. sadly my OH is loosing his grandad at the moment and hes only just realising he wont make it to the wedding, dont think hes clocked he wont be here for when we get our BFP yet.

@DanisEndo

Thank you

Wedding prep is going smoothly! I'm very excited I love planning things haha. What about you ?

Yeah I think it's a good idea for everyone ttc to have a good look at their health. There's quite big links with certain deficiencies and early miscarriage or health issues during pregnancy.

Obviously you can't get rid of that risk but there's never any harm trying to get to optimum health.

Hi all, been reading the thread and hope it’s ok to join!
Age: 33
TTC no: 3
Starting: Feb 23

We were very lucky to conceive quickly with both our DC, but we will see what happens when we TTC number 3. Our DD is 9 and DS is 2, we had a big gap due to financial reasons- got married, bought a house, and couldn’t afford the childcare as well as doing those things.
Number 3 will be our last, and I really want to try and enjoy the pregnancy/ experience as much as possible- I feel incredibly lucky to hopefully be able to do it all again. My DH is 10 years older than me, and we don’t want to leave it much longer now as he says he is tired 🤣 all feels very real now I have typed it out!!

@LovelyBitOfSquirrelll welcome! How exciting.

How were your other pregnancies l? It must be nice to (sort of!) feel like you know what you’re doing!

@Mushroo thank you!
Both were quite similar, but my first was definitely a bit easier than my second, which I put down to age? I was 22 when I conceived our DD but 30 when I conceived our DS. I had relatively straightforward pregnancies, but the second just took its toll on me a bit, I gained more weight than I would have liked but we were in lockdown and I found it very, very difficult and comfort ate. Plus exercise was limited as I hardly left the house due to shielding. Other than that, it was ok and my baby was healthy, so I can’t complain at all. He was, however, 9lb 1oz so something tells me our last one will be an even bigger whopper 🙈 Anyway, my goal between now and Feb is to lose as much weight as possible (in a healthy way of course) and get as fit as possible, as it definitely pays off in the long run!
How are you feeling @Mushroo ?

I hope everyone else is doing ok. It feels good to be able to openly discuss it with anyone other than my DH!

Hey @LovelyBitOfSquirrelll! That’s a nice age gap between your two DC and how exciting it must be to be planning their little brother or sister! What made you decide on February specifically?

I will be same age TTC no.1 as you were with your DD, we’re in a stable position and have been together several years, DP is a couple of years older than me. After lurking on here for months I am convinced that most people think it’s far too young and am a little worried that there will be nosey questions asked like was it planned! Did you get any reactions or were people generally unsurprised?

We haven’t decided how many DC we want yet, 2 has always been the number I’ve had in my head but would not be in any rush for a second and you never know how having one will go until you’ve got one, I guess! Definitely not starting young to have loads. Both sets of our parents were around the 40 mark having us and they are amazing, I just want them and our DC to have a good relationship and know them well into their adulthood which has also been an influencing factor in our choice.

Hi @happyfeet5!
The age gap is good as she is very self sufficient, and when we first had DS, it was so much easier for us not having a “younger” child to also care for if that makes sense? But, the gap between DS and the third will hopefully be around the 3 year mark, so will be a different experience for sure. Having DD is a big help though with the little things she is able to assist with! It does bring its challenges though, trying to find activities which we can do as a family which are age appropriate. We occasionally do separate things with DD to make sure she still gets to do the older stuff!

Well, when DH and I met, he had 2 children from previous, they are now 20 and 18! We fell pregnant within 3 months of getting together- and we planned it. Obviously most people think it’s completely bonkers, but we knew we were doing what was right for us. We got lots of negative opinions thrown at us, but I really didn’t care what anyone else thought tbh! Nearly 11 years later and we are still v happy 😊 I knew I wanted to be a mum from being young and it just felt natural to have one in my early 20’s. If you feel ready then go for it- especially with your parents being older! I hope you are feeling ok about it all, it is daunting but also so exciting and very rewarding!

@happyfeet5 forgot to say, we have picked Feb to TTC mainly because our DS gets 30 free hours childcare at his nursery from October 2023, so will ease the financial pressure. Also, I really enjoyed having an Autumn baby with DS- I love that time of year, so an Autumn/ Winter baby would be lovely if we were lucky to have one then!

@LovelyBitOfSquirrelll oh, nice! It sounds really lovely. I can imagine the difference in age can be challenging sometimes but I bet it brings its own rewards too. Would your DD be in high school by the time DC3 arrives?

I see! That makes sense. Yeah, people always have an opinion either way don’t they. Can never please everyone - nor should you have to try. I am really excited actually well we both are. Very exciting chapter ahead hopefully!

I like the idea of an autumn baby too, can think of so many advantages: on leave for Christmas, they’ll be more mobile in the spring months when the weather gets warmer and days get lighter, can get cosy inside in the early days when you don’t want to be out and about anyway. If only you could plan these things down to the exact day!

How’s everyone else getting along? I might be very naïve here but I am actually fairly excited for the whole thing- even pregnancy itself! Haha! The part I feel apprehensive about is raising a child over the age of 8. I have no experience with older kids/teens other than vague memories of being one myself. Though I suppose I’ve a decade before I have to deal with that!

@happyfeet5 in still completely in denial it’s actually going to happen! I don’t know why, I’m just not convinced yet!

Although I’ve figured out my cat weighs approx the same as a newborn so I keep wandering around holding her like a crazy person (which has made me realise I need to hit the gym as she’s heavy! Haha).

were also doing things like ordering a larger car which makes it feel a bit more real.

Im most excited for ages 4 plus, it’s funny how we all look forward to different things!

I started AF yesterday so officially only one more AF to get out the way and I’ll be trying! Also hoping for an autumn baby!

It’s a shame that absolutely none of my friends are at the baby stage, I think I’m going to have do NCT or similar to make some mum friends…

@Mushroo oooh which car have you gone for? We’ve got two cars, one being a 3 door which I am uneasy about! The other is huge so thinking we’ll be alright at least for a while. That is so exciting! This could be your last AF! And that’s a good idea, bless your cat haha. I’m not sure how our cat will be tbh he hasn’t really been around children.

I can relate about friends, it’s difficult and not exactly something you can bring up either as it is a sensitive topic for some people. I think it will be relatively easy to meet likeminded people once pg but the prospect is daunting isn’t it.

@happyfeet5 narrowed it down between a Toyota Rav 4 or a Volvo. I want the Volvo but it’s more expensive so need to do some sums!

My cat thinks I’m mad, and she hates other children so that’ll be fun to deal with haha.

Completely agree on the friends point! Like some of our friends could be trying but as you say you can’t ask.

Have you decided how long you’d want to take for mat leave? That’s something else I’ll need to figure out at some point!

@Mushroo yes!

Cats are so temperamental. I think/hope most adapt though!

I would love the full year but not sure it’s financially the smartest idea at the moment with the cost of living crisis and all. I think about 10 months is realistic. Hopefully I’ll feel able to work as close as possible to due date. My company offer a really generous package but I think rather than use any extra savings we accrue just to get by, I’d be more happy spending the money on a holiday before I go back to work etc. I really don’t know how I am going to feel though! What about you, have you thought much?

@happyfeet5 our DD will be going into year 6, but 2024 after mat leave (if DC3 is born around autumn time) we would have DD going to high school, DS starting primary school and DC3 starting private nursery as I would be going back to school- so I would be an emotional wreck!

Don’t worry about raising a DC over 8, once they develop their own personality from a young age, you just go with their flow really and it all seems to work out- they will most likely lead the way! Haha. I’m sure we will have some challenges with teenage years but plenty of time to get to grips with that.

@Mushroo how exciting getting a new car! Getting all the practical things ticked off. And also very exciting it’s your last AF!

I didn’t really find any friends whilst pg, and surprisingly I don’t have lots of friends with kids really, mainly family, but my social circle is small. The ones I do have now I have met along the way from school or from being neighbours,. I met lots of lovely mums at baby group too but sort of drifted apart once I went back to work.

@happyfeet5 exactly the same! I think I’m going aim for about 10 months or so. It’s so hard deciding all these things!

@LovelyBitOfSquirrelll yes all starting to feel a bit real now! It’s nice to know you pick up friends along the way. Just someone in a similar place hopefully!

Your age gaps sound perfect - a real range so covering all bases!

Completely random but wondering what people’s thoughts are on booking a mini break?

We’re looking at spring or summer, somewhere in Europe. Possibly France for a few nights. I’d hate to book and then have particularly bad sickness or rubbish symptoms. Hard to know what to do!

@happyfeet5 im having the exact same dilemma! We’ve ruled out anywhere with zika for obvious reasons, but I really want to book a last luxury adults only resort for next summer. But as you say I might feel like crap!

So far we’ve not booked and I think we might try and get somewhere last minute. Also probably going to stick to say mainland France / Spain / Italy on the basis the hospitals there will be fine.

@Mushroo that sounds lovely, definitely adults only while you’ve the chance to. Somewhere with good facilities is always a safe bet and good food! I don’t really know what’s the best time to go weeks wise, and obviously neither of us know how long TTC will take. It’s hard! Need to put in for my annual leave soon which isn’t helping my choice. Might just take a gamble!

Hi everyone, can I join? I'm not starting to ttc until August 2023.

I have endometriosis too!