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Conception

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Preparing to TTC in 2023

955 replies

DanisEndo · 31/10/2022 09:36

Hi,

I'm part of a lovely thread which was started in 2021 for those planning to start TTC in 2022 and it was such a supportive group! we've now seen lots of positives and given each other a lot of support and tips through ups and downs.

I'm now 'pausing' TTC until after my wedding in 2023 and thought it'd be nice to start up a similar thread to see if there is anyone else now prepping and getting excited for next year!

On the last thread everyone introduced themself by saying their age, what they're trying for and when they plan on starting - I'll then keep a list up to date and post so everyone can easily see others who are at the same stage as them!

I'll go first:

Age: 27
TTC no: 1
Starting: Sep 23

Between now and then I'm going to be taking folic acid, try and loose some lbs to get closer to a healthy BMI, save some money in a baby pot and enjoy some 'baby free' activities (i.e., wine, gin, sushi and surfing!). I have endometriosis and PCOS so going to try and get my periods more regular and pain management via diet.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
19
Floralsandsmiles · 02/12/2022 20:11

Mushroo · 02/12/2022 18:55

Thank you all for the kind words and not making me feel completely mad!

I think ultimately it’s the lack of control. I’ve been very fortunate in life that I’ve not really had anything go wrong and I’m an overthinker / planner by nature.

On the pregnancy / birth front it’s the worry on things going wrong rather than feeling ill. I’ve never been in hospital before and my experience of the NHS to date has not been great. I can never even get a doctors appointment and I just don’t feel I can ‘trust’ the system with how overworked everyone is. So for example birth wise I know I’ll hate feeling not listened to or feeling like I’m on a conveyor belt. Or even turning up and there being no room / the midwives being so rushed they miss something.

The thought of a postnatal ward fills me with horror - I hate interacting with strangers at the best of times! I’ve looked into private and even the fact we can’t really afford it, I don’t live in London so private doesn’t exist. It also doesn’t help my mum had a very traumatic birth, so that’s probably subconsciously weighing into it as well. The thought of birth injuries also terrifies me, such as inconttinence.

Then career wise I know they can’t act negatively against me, but I’ve not been there that long and I actually really like my job and team. As the higher earner I’m also conscious my earning potential is basically on pause for a few years (especially with inflation as it is!). Even stupid stuff like my student loan (which I’ll pay off in a few years) will be accruing interest so I’ll end up paying more on that. I will definitely go back full time (or ideally, full time hours with a bit of flex) so that should be ok. I’m also going to look at shared parental leave as that could work quite well. Although selfishly, I wish my husband earnt more than me so I could take all the time without feeling guilty about family money going down.

A lot of things there! I think I’m just stressing as it’s the first time I can’t plan something (and it’s kind of hit home how unfair being a woman is! I think I want to be a dad).

@CRbear also totally relate to the baby vs child thing as well. I definitely definitely want a child, one the fence about the baby thing!

All of the above is exactly how I'm feeling to a T!

I am also looking at shared parental leave, and looking to save up 5 months worth and then DH will take the other 4 months. He will then be dropping to PT work.. xx

happyfeet5 · 02/12/2022 20:18

@ViewFromTheAfternoon I’m not sure how many I want to be honest! Will see how it goes lol

@Mushroo you can always request a C Section. If they refuse they must refer you to a consultant who will be happy to do the procedure. Not the easy way out, obviously, but offers some predictability and I think the way the NHS is at the moment it’s possibly even the better option where staffing levels are low on the wards. It’s always your choice.

LovelyBitOfSquirrelll · 02/12/2022 20:19

@Mushroo definitely not mad!

I completely understand your worries. I think as a starting point with regards to birth you do need to make sure your birth partner(s) are fully aware of your wishes beforehand so they can advocate for you should they need to so you have a “voice” no matter what. Also, if you decided you didn’t want to do a vaginal birth, you have every right to a maternal request c-section. There are loads of useful threads re this as it’s something I am going to do once I conceive. But just know that you have the options to research and decide what is best for you when the time comes.

Every birth is different and you hear positive and negative stories, but I think it’s good to know about what could happen so you are prepared and not go in completely blind like I did with my first.

I would say that my in my experience of birth, I felt very looked after during the births and all the staff were fantastic and helped deliver my 2 safely. The post natal care is a different story. Not that the staff weren’t caring or trying, they were understaffed and second time was during Covid, so visiting limitations meant not a lot of help from DH either. But having baby there just made it all worth it for me. Again, there are lots of useful tips on threads re post-natal wards and how to improve the experience so to speak.

Yes, I wish that DH earned more too so the pressure is off me a little bit. I know I will be able to progress in my career but it’s just “on hold” like you say for a few years. Shouldn’t have to be that way, but it is. Having DC, enjoying my down time with them and not having the pressure of more responsibility at work is the route I am going down- they are only little for a little! So I am just going to enjoy it and then focus more on work once they are a bit older and I have the headspace!

LovelyBitOfSquirrelll · 02/12/2022 20:22

@Floralsandsmiles bloody annoying isn’t it!! ☹️

crossed post with @happyfeet5 re maternal request! Great minds……

😊😊

happyfeet5 · 02/12/2022 20:31

@LovelyBitOfSquirrelll yes great minds! I’m thinking of doing this too. I am worried as I have heard complications after C sections though, have you had a section before? I think I’d be worried about then having a 2nd/3rd DC and how safe that would be. Probably thinking way ahead of where I need to be with every bit of this!!

LovelyBitOfSquirrelll · 02/12/2022 21:18

@happyfeet5 no I haven’t actually, 2 vaginal births but needed assistance with both, and then my last was a big baby. So 100% going for a section next time- and won’t stop until I get one (if I am challenged). There can be complications with VB and sections, so it’s just being aware of the risks with both and making an informed decision isn’t it.

I think you are doing the right thing thinking way ahead!!

buckingmad · 03/12/2022 07:22

I had an EMCS last time. My recovery was amazing. I didn’t need any help showering etc and I was going on walks with the dog and bath within a few days.

But I’d like a VBAC this time. I hate the thought of not being able to lift up and play with my DD1 plus I’d like a 3rd child so would like to avoid 3 sections if possible.

ShelleyPercy · 03/12/2022 19:11

Can I join in this thread!

I'm 34 with no kids, getting married in July 2023 and wanting to TTC asap after the wedding. I feel like i'm just waiting around at the moment.

I'm really excited about the wedding and being married but getting pregnant and having a baby is all I can really think about recently!

Mummymidwife33 · 03/12/2022 22:31

I had a forceps birth first time round and a gorgeous home waterbirth second time. I'd love another homebirth but we will see. Whatever happens happens.

WanOvaryKenobi · 04/12/2022 11:56

I have a wee update.

The progesterone pills are the stuff of the devil. I went for a private consultation to discuss my blood work and PCOS. I have managed to shift quite a bit of weight (about 20 kilos) but he reckons if I can get my weight down to a BMI of 24 (currently 28) my periods may stabilise.

That will be us at 1 year TTC in August so gives me a bit of time to get down to that weight. Then I guess another year of seeing if the progesterone kick starts ovulation. He reckons we will need IVF eventually. The stats don't look great and I have had a horrible time of it on the meds so far. Feeling quite despondent.

Mushroo · 04/12/2022 12:26

@WanOvaryKenobi sorry to hear that, always disappointing when you get bad news.

Huge congratulations on the weight loss though! If you keep going you know you’ll have put yourself in the best position possible.

It’s so hard though isn’t it, PCOS is such a crappy syndrome. Allow yourself a few days / weeks of feeling low, sometimes you need to

Hopingforno2in2023 · 06/12/2022 21:36

May I join please? I was originally on the 2022 thread but we decided to wait a bit longer. DH has had a vasectomy so we are looking at options but think it might be sperm extraction and ICSI. We are going to set up appointments with fertility clinics in January.

Age: 34
TTC #2

happyfeet5 · 07/12/2022 20:08

How’s everyone getting along?

I am more excited the further we get into December, tbh. DP smiles ear to ear whenever we talk about it, I think he is now broodier than me if that is possible!

I was thinking about making a 3 month bucket list before we TTC. We aren’t fixed on March either - Could be February or April. Need January clear though so that I can be sure of period dates after coming off the pill. First on the list will be an extra glass of Baileys at Christmas, I think. Lol. I am vegetarian so being unable to eat certain types of meat is not a concern!

happyfeet5 · 07/12/2022 20:13

@WanOvaryKenobi that sounds really tough. Try not to lose hope though. You never know what will happen. It’s positive that you have the progesterone as hopefully it’ll stabilise your periods but dealing with the side effects must be LOUSY. Sending hugs!

ViewFromTheAfternoon · 07/12/2022 20:18

I know this is super stupid but I was just wondering how likely it is to conceive after missing a couple of pills but not consecutively? My thoughts it's it's highly unlikely. I took a few pills as normal at the start of my pack a few weeks ago, then I missed one, then took the next one, then missed the one after that. So I missed two with one taken in between. I've thought nothing of it because it's just so unlikely. But tonight I went to the toilet and there was blood on the tissue and I'm confused. I never bleed randomly but I don't know what it could be. It's not a bit of withdrawal bleed because the missed pills happened at the beginning of last week. Does anyone have else ever get a bit of blood between period? I never have so not sure if it's a concern

happyfeet5 · 07/12/2022 20:32

@ViewFromTheAfternoon could be just hormonal spotting (ovulation), or implantation bleeding. Might just be breakthrough bleeding too as if your body is a bit confused? If it’s ovulation or implantation a test wouldn’t be reliable for at least another week I don’t think so just sit tight. When were you thinking of trying again? I have lost track as there are so many of us now!

ViewFromTheAfternoon · 07/12/2022 20:59

@happyfeet5 I think you're probably right and it's breakthrough! I don't usually get ovulation bleeding when on the pill but it still could be. Not planning to TTC until June! I'm not worried because I know it's highly highly unlikely but I just wondered what else it could be and if there is a small chance that missing a few pills here and there actually puts you at much risk

Hopingforno2in2023 · 07/12/2022 21:09

I’m well thanks happy :)

before TTC I need to lose some weight and cut down on caffeine!

ViewFromTheAfternoon · 07/12/2022 22:07

@happyfeet5 love your bucket list idea. What are some of the things on there?

Also it's so good that your DP is excited about it! Mine doesn't act very bothered most of the time which is annoying 😆

Hopingforno2in2023 · 08/12/2022 08:20

Need to pick up some folic acid and restart taking that :)

This time it is actually DH’s idea which is lovely as I pushed for our first DC.

CRbear · 09/12/2022 09:17

Sounds like breakthrough bleeding to me too @ViewFromTheAfternoon. I think because it wasn’t two pills in a row you would have to be very unlucky to get pregnant!

Only about 3 weeks to 2023! We’ve literally chosen 1st January as the day we “pull the goalies” so I can enjoy drinking over Christmas / NY. But it just feels so soon. I can’t quite imagine we could have a baby next year. It doesn’t feel real. Do we ever feel ready!?

happyfeet5 · 09/12/2022 11:40

@CRbear yes it’s totally strange isn’t it. I don’t think you ever fully feel ready, having the doubts probably shows you are as you are being responsible making sure it’s the right time? It’s such an unimaginable thing isn’t it. But so exciting too! Is this no.1 for you?

CRbear · 09/12/2022 12:11

@happyfeet5 yes it will be - and I never have really let myself think it could happen easily for us as had PCOS and no periods. But having got my periods fairly regular now I can’t help but feel a bit hopeful and that’s scarier in a way?!

Foreverhope82 · 09/12/2022 12:47

Hello Ladies

Hope you don’t mind if I jump on this group looking a group for support as we go into 2023 as at the moment other than OH I don’t have anyone really to talk to about all this.
My temps have dropped today as AF is due (no AF symptoms yet which I normally get) tested BFN gutted as was hoping end 2022 with a rainbow baby but looking like we’re going into 2023 TTC #1

Little bit about me I’m 40 and have endometriosis. Pregnancy has just never happened for us till October 21 I got pregnant which ended in MMC in December 21. We have been actively trying ever since and logging each cycle temping and OPKs. In June we got pregnant again tested BFP 14 DPO which ended been a CP within 4 days of finding out.

we have continued to try so soon as AF shows her ugly face im moving into the next cycle for 2023!

CRbear · 09/12/2022 13:22

@Foreverhope82 - sounds like you’ve had a challenging ride so far, here’s to hoping 2023 is your year.