Immune/NK cells - pred thread 30

[Sezmarelda1]

Starting a new thread as the last one was full. Please tag anyone I may have missed from the old thread...

@Sophi81
@InvisibleDreamer
@birdbybird
@Ralowi
@HoldingOn2Hope
@MyEasterEggs
@Tgrf55

I don’t even talk to friends or family about it any more. My family are so lovely but they will just worry more then they do already. They would make the best ever grandparents so I’m sad for them not just me. It’s just the worst feeling.
Crossed sticky fingers for those going through the next stage and best of luck.

Also I just wanted to mention in case it’s helpful that other clinics are offering intrallipids at under £100. I don’t know if you can get them without other treatment

But thought it might be helpful. It’s on a few of their price lists

@Grateful03 yeah it's hard to see all baby posts, some people posting are the ones who have been through losses as well so I guess they just can't help being extra happy. I am the same with social media, I come on and off it but I never manage long (that's just boredom though!). Interesting about the intralipids, I think maybe you need to be with an ivf clinic. If not you require a prescription. Its so annoying because even if it wasn't a rip off, Epsom is a mission and a half to get to for us x

@Sophi81 it's so insensitive and rude. I've started to just tell people because sick of making up thjngs. I've told people we aren't trying for another now due to all the medical issues so that should be an end to questions. And I don't think we will but there's still a small part of me that wants too even though I know Id really struggle mentally to cope with more losses or even a high risk pregnancy x

@Ralowi Hopefully it’s just early period symptoms. I am having a hysteroscopy & laparoscopy at the end of the month to look at my uterus although now I’m wondering if I really need both? I’m really confused but I do want to cover all bases. Funny I’m wondering the opposite about the predisolone I was only ever put on 10mg & I wonder if it’s enough. I don’t know if they think I need less because I’m quite petite but it’s just another thing to worry about. On 10mg I did have some insomnia but it did settle when I started taking the it in the morning rather than the evening and the only other symptom I ever had was increased appetite so you might find a lower dose works better for you. As the only time I got pregnant I was on steroids I wish I could try it outside of IVF but I don’t know anywhere that does that.

@Grateful03 I can’t stand pregnant people & people with small babies make me really uncomfortable. I think I can be happy for close family and friends (but probably still really bitter & jealous too) but everyone else I stay away from. I don’t get the Facebook posts after loss either I can’t imagine doing that, I only plan to share any good news with family members and one or two friends.

@Sophi81 I’m sorry you had all the rude questions from other people about having children. I can’t believe how nosy and rude other people are, as if it’s any of their business!

It's defo been a long journey. I don't even have family to talk to. My mum isn't the easiest of people for me to talk too. I remember when I had my first miscarriage, it was such a traumatic experience that I ended up in hospital for a week and it took me 6 months to recover. But my mum just told me to be quiet and not talk about it. I think it's a culture thing. I remember I was dying to talk to someone to understand what had happened to me and why. So after that I don't even confide in my family. I have a couple of work colleagues I talk to and on here I post here also and it makes me feel better. I have to say I hated seeing anyone pregnant. But I am genuinely happy for anyone here that is currently pregnant because it gives me hope. I know the struggles you have all gone through to be on this platform so I do enjoy talking to you and getting that reassurance that it can work out and happen xx

@Sophi81 im sorry you don’t have more support, have you tried counselling? It’s the only time now that I really get to talk about everything that has happened and what I am going through now. I find it really cathartic. I agree these boards are so helpful & supportive & I am happy for anyone on here who has success (although sometimes rather jealous). I know it sounds awful but I feel those that have struggled deserve it more & for people who just get pregnant easily I often feel annoyed like why them? I’d really like a friend I met through the support group to get pregnant because she had a second trimester loss & then had no more implantation with IVF, it just seems so unfair.

@InvisibleDreamer @Sophi81 i think your feelings are completely normal and totally valid and you shouldn't feel bad about it. Its so unfair what some of us have to go through when other people achieve it so easily and also seem to take it for granted. Im 13 weeks pregnant (i hope) and i found out yesterday my friend is due at the exact same time as me and it really upset me because she has never been interested in having a baby and got pregnant first time and all is well. I dont wish anything bad to happen of course, but i still felt all of those awful feelings, even though i am pregnant now!! I dont think they ever leave you but just wanted to jump on and say i completely get it. It's so hard. X

@Tgrf55 Yes I don’t think those feelings will ever go. I will always feel a stab of jealousy about people who just decide to get pregnant then it happens even if I do have a successful pregnancy. I don’t generally let myself feel bad about having negative thoughts, it really annoys me as women in particular that we are expected to be happy for everyone else whether it’s a pregnancy or promotion that went to someone else in a way that men are not. To me it’s a form of discrimination by saying that women shouldn’t have certain feelings otherwise we are labelled a bit*h whereas it would just be excused/justified in a man.

Have you had your 12 week scan yet? I would be annoyed about the friend too!

@InvisibleDreamer yeah i completley agree. I almost feel like people who decide to get pregnant, immediately fall pregnant and are fine are a bit smug sometimes. I had my NHS scan last week but my CRP scan is this week and thats the one im relying on, i don't have much faith in the NHS after some awful experiences with an ectopic pregnancy. The friend....yeah it was hard. We can't share our journey together because its not the same. Also with every one of my pregnancies, one of my friends has been pregnant at the same time and gone to term and i haven't. So i now feel a horrible pressure. But trying to distance myself from that. X

Best of luck Tgrf55. Happy stories on here give me hope. Real world pregnant on first attempt/ not really bothered anyway types make me so angry/ upset. I’ve decided that I’m going to tell my friend who’s just announced hers after a total of2 months trying that it’s just too hard for me to see/ talk to her given my struggles. If someone said that to me I’d completely understand.
@Sophi81 I’m sorry you don’t have family to support you but at least your partner does. Mine dotsnt understand the upset/ hormones at all, tells me to pull myself together and that it affects him too. Because weeks of hormones/ drugs/ injections are the same for a man apparently. He apologies but it’s the same every month. He can’t see that disappointment is is a completely different story to a physical ache/ feeling like giving up/ feeling hopeless. He keeps saying give up and find a donor/ surrogate like that is easy either and I’ve explained the hurdles with those options aren’t easy either.
If either of us had a child I think I would just give up at this point.
Hugs to everyone who can’t/ won’t give up. I’m not sure it comes more warrior like than this x

I can very much relate to the feelings around pregnant people. One of the ladies I did antenatal classes with a few years ago is expecting her second baby any day now, and I sometimes see her when dropping my son off at nursery. Despite getting on with her really well I've taken to sitting in my car and waiting for her to leave before I get out of my car so that I don't have to speak to her or acknowledge her pregnancy. I feel pretty mean doing that, but I'm just trying to protect myself as best I can. I try to remember that we can't always tell what journey someone has been on to become pregnant, and I try not to assume it was easy for every pregnant woman I come across because there will be people out there like us who have had to go through recurrent losses, stillbirths, fertility treatment, etc, and they don't always shout about it. We just have to do what is needed to protect ourselves and not give ourselves a hard time over it x

@InvisibleDreamer I did have counselling at the time which really helped. I do get annoyed with people who get pregnant easily. I remember when I got married 5 years ago I knew of 7 others that got married in the same year and 3 of them had their baby within the first year of marriage! And the other 4 had babies within 3 years as they wanted to wait a while. At the time it didn't bother me as I didn't think I had any issues but as soon as my losses started that was it. I didn't want to be around or see anything or anyone that was pregnancy related.

@Tgrf55 that is always the case! I knew someone from work who was adamant her and her bf never want to have children and happy just getting a dog! They were enjoying life too much they didn't want a child to ruin their plans. Then one day we were talking about work how stressful it is and how management at that time were causing us problems. She said to me she will have to find another job or get pregnant so she can go on maternity leave. I remember saying well u can but I can't as I don't have a partner. She was 36 at the Time and the next month she was pregnant! Even she was surprised as she said they had only had intercourse the once in the month🤷🏽‍♀️. I didn't think anything at the time but when it was my turn and it wasn't happening I was really frustrated.

Ladies has anyone been in my situation?
I have an appointment with Dr Shehata next Wednesday. I’ve been experiencing infertility for almost 2 years and the 3 times I’ve been pregnant I’ve miscarriage. The last mc was a chromosomal and the other two I’m not sure. I’m due to ovulate tomorrow. Then 5 days later I have an initial appointment with Dr Shehata who requires you to not be pregnant for the tests. So I’m wondering if I go ahead with the tests (because I’m unlikely to have implanted at 5dpo) or delay the tests.
Has anyone not abstained when they’ve gone to see him for tests?
Due to the infertility and at almost 42 I’m worried to miss a good egg by not trying for a month.

Following from my previous message, I’m not sure my problem is immunes, I mean at my age it’s 75-80% chance of abnormal eggs.

Hi I had the same dilemma when I saw him and we abstained to do all the tests. They were absolutely adamant you couldn’t try and get all the tests done that month as early pregnancy would affect the results. I queried this a few times and they were very strict on it. I figured it was one month and worth knowing the results first

I also wondered if anyone else gets really bad migraines when they come off the steroids. Mine have been awful

@Grateful03 funny you should say that! I have had bad headaches. I’m weaning off at the moment and I’m on 15mg. I didn’t think about that as a link.

Hello ladies

I went in for my follicle tracking scan, good number of follies and will trigger in a few days. Decided to have the intralipids too as thought I'd give it my all for this cycle.

Hope everyone is doing ok.

Dr Edge is so lovely so I'm glad we managed to have a good chat last month and clear the air, she spends a lot more time with you in appts and you can ask as many questions as you want :)

Xx

@birdbybird it's strange because I went a week after surgery for missed miscarriage and they said it wouldn't affect the bloods. I still find that hard to believe as my hormones would surely have not been back to normal by then x

@birdbybird actually I think it was 2 weeks after

Has anyone had or looked into having the blood test for the d q alpha match test?

I know Dr S doesn't do it but I know lots of clinics in london recommend it x

Hi all. Think I’m going to test tomorrow, I’ll be 7 days post 5 day transfer. If it’s negative does anyone know if I can just stop the pred and fragmin right away or do I need to speak to Dr S first and wean off? I’ll have been on both for just under 2 weeks.