Fertility Appointments and Beyond: Electric Boogaloo

[thislittlebird]

Hit capacity on the old thread, will tag you in!

Small update from me, counselling was ok, not sure what I was expecting (and I'm glad we didnt have to pay for it, I'm not sure we got 'that' much out of it) but gave us a couple of things to think about. But...today we got access to the egg bank! Husband is still away so I've had to sit on my hands all day, but going to have a look tomorrow! Very exciting! X

@beckyCarlos exciting!! Have you found any donors you like yet?

@thislittlebird hope ec goes/went well. And really hoping one of the eggs is the one for you.

I started bleeding last night so think this one is not going to make it. Feeling heartbroken again. And I know it makes me sound like a small child, but I just feel like it's so unfair that this has to be so hard for us. I'm also really annoyed that I let the clinic convince us not to pgt test the remaining embryos because the idea of going through this again just absolutely sucks. Sorry for a miserable rant - I'm also annoyed because I don't think I'm going to be able to make my friend's funeral today because I'm paranoid about how the bleeding might evolve....ugh, this whole process just absolutely sucks!

@99pctpractice oh no, that’s really shit I’m sorry. You don’t sound like a small child, you sound like all of us wondering what we did to deserve this much shit. How many weeks:m/days are you?

What were the PGS discussions?

I’m sorry this is all happening on top of an already difficult day for you, life is very shit sometimes. are you driving? Maybe you can go and shoot off if you need to?

@beckyCarlos they do apprenticeships but I’m well out of all that so miss the ofsted fun! Sorry your counselling was disappointing. I’m so confused by the “free” counselling I’ve experienced so far and I’m going to sign up to it at this clinic but i can’t say I’m optimistic it’ll be helpful.

@Tinkerbell098 have you guys got MFI? I’m not convinced we’ll get much from our haul with the motility issues. We got 10 yesterday, but there was a problem with the sperm prep and they couldn’t do IMSI after all, so we reverted to standard ICSI.

@99pctpractice we got 10 in the end. The doctor briefly stopped by to tell me how disappointing the 8 on the scan was for my amh (in different words) and then we had issues with the sperm prep. I don’t know what to think about how this call will go. There were very few sperm to choose from after they had been filtered out, it seems. I’m really not optimistic about the call we’ll get today. He had covid in April, he hasn’t been taking his supplements for months this time. It’s a worry.

Oh 99 I'm so sorry. It could 'just' be a bleed (I know, just is a ridiculous word to use). Can you call your clinic or your local EPU on the off chance that they might be able to see you before the funeral? Sending you lots of love x x x x

We found a couple we like, weve requested more info on one (you can only have their pen portrait one at a time, which is a bit mad!) Which we like, but trying to decide if we want to release her and get the pen portrait on our other fave, but then the first might get taken by someone else (and theres nothing wrong with her, I think its a bit like getting married to your college boyfriend lol how do you know something better isnt out there?! I say this tongue in cheek, one of my best friends married her first boyfriend and they're very happy) x

@beckyCarlos what’s a pen portrait?? A drawing? Hmmm that’s tough to release

My old best friend (moved away) married her first bf too, they’re still fine. It would not be me lol. One advantage is they did have kids young and in my position now I’m having regrets 🤪

Yeah, bad news as expected. Out of 10 only 6 were mature, 4 fertilised and one of those 4 is iffy. I’ll be surprised if there’s anything left by Saturday tbh. I can’t believe how much worse this cycle has been on higher stims, it’s incredible.

Yeah bad news as expected. Out of 10, 6 were mature, 4 fertilised and one of them is iffy. Will be surprised if any are left by Saturday. I can’t really believe how bad the first cycle on higher stims has been tbh.

Stupid mumsnet server told me the first message failed ughhh

Thanks @thislittlebird @beckyCarlos yes, I have a scan booked at noon today so hopefully will know more definitively then. I'm 6 weeks so in theory there should be a heartbeat if it was all ok. I've had some sharp pains on one side so slightly concerned it could be an ectopic, but really hoping it isn't! I wanted to do pgt testing on the other (donor egg) embryos that they froze (to avoid future potential miscarriages), but the clinic were very adamant that i shouldn't because they're donor eggs and so there should be less risk of chromosomal abnormalities and therefore miscarriage than with my eggs. And yet here we are.

I'm probably not going to drive to the funeral (it's in Chiswick and I think it's quicker for me to train it). I might go to the funeral and skip the wake. Either way I won't be drinking and I don't want to have to explain why (when everyone else will be drinking heavily....)

@thislittlebird I know it isn't what you were hoping for, but 10 isn't bad as a starting point - all fingers crossed for your fertilisation call 🤞

@beckyCarlos that is tricky. With leb the pen sketches were all available on the website, it was just a race to pay for the eggs to reserve them. It does sound a bit like the stick or twist of the college boyfriend - so tricky to know whether it's the right choice to go ahead with so little information!!

@99pctpractice all the best for the scan today! A girl on another thread I'm on, had some spotting, bleeding even throughout and she's been for a scan and all ok. Apparently it's common with IVF pregnancies with the pessaries we have to be on to irritate the cervix. Fingers crossed everything's ok for you too X

@beckyCarlos I'm glad you've found a couple of donors you like, but the system for choosing is a little strange. Hope you get to make the right choice. Is there a time limit as to when you have to choose by?

@thislittlebird 4 fertilised is great! Everything crossed for Saturday that you get some good ones in the freezer too.

I picked up my meds for a frozen cycle yesterday. My cutoff to get AF is 2nd of December so they can fit me in for a cycle before their Christmas shutdown.

@thislittlebird I'm sorry that must be so disappointing. Gonna drop my it only takes one line to keep the positivity in, but please know its also SO ok to be feeling upset x x x (also lol I know, if I'd married my first bf jeeeesus!) Also, also, lol 'pen portrait' a brief bit about what they like doing (hockey, seeing friends and family) why theyre donating (want to give people a chance at having a family), a message to the child (cant type it, will cry, and I cant cry at work again lol swung it for me), and a bit about what theyre like as a person (sounds very like me!)

@99pctpractice glad they can see you quickly! It could 'just' be the embryo nestling in (when I had my 7 week scan the nurse said she could see I'd had a bleed, which I hadnt physically, and she said sometimes it just stays inside depending how much/where everything is, and its totally normal) thats interesting re PGT... why is there less chance with donor eggs?

@tinkerbell098 5 days once youve had the additional info 😅

@thislittlebird ive just read your earlier posts about FSH and just wanted to respond because it was me who asked you about it. I just wanted to say, there was no malice in the question, I was interested because I had done some reading of Dr Robert Winstons book and website and he said no matter what your AMH, your response to IVF is impacted by FSH and he goes onto say over 15-20, you are likely to have a less successful response to IVF. I saw you were upset about your response which was less than you wanted so just wondered if it was something that maybe be relevant. Sorry to have caused you any upset. The reading might be out of date, I’m not sure. I just found it interesting for me personally

@Anonbaby oh no, really it’s fine don’t apologise, sorry I vented over here but I didn’t know what to say in the other thread and was upset at the time. Probably overly sensitive too. I just can’t see how that’s the issue and I’m struggling to get my head around what’s gone wrong. I don’t think it was just you tbh, I’m just upset because this cycle has gone badly. I don’t understand how it could be FSH or even AMH when we’ve been on higher stims this time and I’m at a loss as to why I responded well once on lower stims but then not the second time. I’m a good responder and poor responder all at once apparently.

@thislittlebird yes I wasn’t suggesting that was your issue. I just think it could be mine and consultants just brush off FSH but actually, that reading was quite interesting to me personally. I hope you get some better news soon x

@99pctpractice keep us posted, I hope the scan goes well. Not having to explain the lack of drinking is a good idea.

There’s a lot of people testing donor embryos on Reddit’s r/ivf, might be worth a visit to see the outcomes? You might have been there already of course!

@Tinkerbell098 what cycle day are you now, is AF due soon? 4 is ok but not great tbh. I would be surprised if they all made it, maybe one of two. Our MFI seems more severe than we maybe first thought, he doesn’t seem to have barely any decent quality, healthy swimmers. We’re going to spend time getting second opinions etc.

@beckyCarlos i do appreciate your only takes one positivity, I just wish I believed we’d get one. And we have bad male factor and recurrent implantation failure now so the odds are not in our favour with one 😩

Those pen portraits sound super cute, I’m glad you’ve found one or two you love.

In other news, I’m clearly having mild ohss breathing issues again. I’ve decided to self-medicate with prednisolone but I’ll probably have to stop by transfer day and I bet it’ll all go crazy again then.

Thanks. It’s frustrating tbh. My GP said ignore AMH (this was right at the start) but then the IVF clinics are obsessed with AMH and all gung-ho about how great your chances are with high AMH. I’ve got no better results than someone with much lower amh really, best results on lower stims so far, but I know male factor is playing huge part in that. What was yours btw?

@thislittlebird I am on day 23 today, but that's counting from the MC bleed and I had hCG in my system a week after that. The LH tests and BBT tells me I ovulated on CD21, which is about a week late for me as my O day is around 14/15 usually. So I'm guessing my AF will also be about a week late, possibly around 4th or 5th. So I'll have to see what they say as I'd be a day or two out of their cutoff. When's the next update for your embryos?

@thislittlebird that's great news on having 4 embryos. I'm sorry higher stims weren't able to get you a higher number of eggs - I think responsiveness can vary from cycle to cycle so it could just be bad luck for this cycle. I hope you can avoid ohss with the prednisone, it doesn't sound great that you have breathing difficulties, really hope you're feeling better soon.

@beckyCarlos I think they generally don't recommend pgt for under -35s (which all donors are). The reason they gave me was because it disrupts and can damage the blast (not something my previous clinic said to me was a problem when they were recommending pgt so I'm not sure if that was a clinic specific concern?!) and under-35s should have a better chance of having genetically normal eggs so they'd rather not take the risk.

My scan went much better than expected - they found a heartbeat which was a complete surprise and relief. She found a big subchrionic hematoma which is where the bleeding is coming from. It was a lot of (red) blood and heavy cramping last night and this morning so I was really shocked - Googling had told me bleeding could be ok but with cramping you should assume the worst. (I also made it to the funeral, which was beautiful, so I'm glad I could make it. Skipping the wake to go home for a nap!! )

Oh @99pctpractice what a relief!! Hope you've had a nice rest (I'm also sorry about the funeral and the death of your friend x x x )

@Tinkerbell098 yeah mine was about a week late too, this cycle will bring it all forward again.

@99pctpractice glad to hear your scan was good and you go to go to the funeral!

I'm not thrilled by 4 because it's only day 2, i'll see how they go.

@99pctpractice really pleased your scan went well and you got to see the heartbeat! That must have been so special! Sorry again about your friend, glad you got to go for the funeral X

@thislittlebird how are you feeling now? have you had any further updates from the clinic?

@Tinkerbell098 a bit stressed about it all. Pretty sure i have mild ohss but no one ever cares when I tell them about the breathing issues, it's weird. I'm self-medicating with prednisolone because that's what the doctor got me to do last time, I'll stop before transfer day, if there's anything to transfer. Very tender lower abdomen, lots of hot water bottles, electrolytes and rest is underway.

We get an update tomorrow, if we could get more than one it'd be something, but I don't have high hopes.

@thislittlebird we’re not sure what our issue is. It was unexplained. Then the most recent SA was below on all measures so we don’t know if this is our explanation or a one off blip. Previous SA have been fine and this is secondary infertility for us, we already have children. We are waiting on a repeat SA before deciding how to proceed.

have you had any more news? Xx

@thislittlebird oh that's crap that they're not listening to your concerns. Hope the prednisolone will help. Really hope your symptoms will ease off and you can feel better before transfer X