Bus 9 - Donkey Cart departing soon, all aboard with ivf, pcos, endo, sub/unexplained fertility jump on

[Marvellouslymadmum]

New thread 😊😊

Oh and we had an NHS urology appointment where they refused to do hormone tests for DH. They’re doing an ultrasound and possibly removing his varicocele so that’s one cost covered, I suppose. We’ll probably pay for private hormone tests for him.

@thislittlebird you have all my empathy, I wish there was something we could do to 'fix' it and that's the most frustrating part. I hate not knowing why it's not working and then the time factor exacerbates it all.

I've had my medical review back from Access Fertility and as suspected I'm not eligible for the refund programme due to my low AMH and previous failed cycles. Wessex have recommended ICSI for us which is more expensive. DH is not keen on paying for 2 cycles up front being hopeful that going private means it will work as we did manage to fall pregnant naturally. I admire his optimism but I'm not so convinced. I'd rather pay for the 2 cycles up front and just accept the loss if we don't need them.

@MIW01 yep, I know exactly what you mean. I’m so tired of all this, the failure, the heartache, the lack of info, the cost, the emotional drain. My mental health is in very bad shape, I’ve never been like this before.

I think those places are very picky, every one I’ve looked into they won’t accept me because of whatever reason. The only place I know where icsi is the same price (I think it is anyway, maybe I made this up) is BPAS Fertility. We paid for two rounds and paid about £10,800. The good thing about it is we have one paid for already while we save again and have more tests. Our first private cycle was a complete waste of time and mostly it went to shit because of bad luck and bad sperm, can’t do anything about it now but we have another go with them yet. NHS one was superior, but I partly wonder if that’s because I asked for low meds. If my third cycle on higher meds is as bad as my second I’ll probably go to create for “mild ivf” after this.

@MIW01 I wasn’t eligible for the refund programme either because of low amh. We paid for two rounds upfront instead but it actually worked out more expensive for me because we didn’t make it to transfer either time, and the clinic would have given us money back for that but Access don’t 🙄 Basically my whole ivf experience was a shitshow!
Still clinging on to hope that I had one natural pregnancy even though it ended in MC at 10 weeks. That was over a year ago now though 😔

@thislittlebird How delightful that you were told to be considerate of the heavily pregnant woman. That’s the problem with infertility- it’s invisible. If we had a glaringly obvious physical ailment nobody would put us through this shit!

Cant remember if I told you all that a friend of mine is annoyed that I wasn’t ‘there for her’ during her pregnancy. She’s got plenty of other mum friends. She knows everything that’s happened with me over the last 3.5years. AS IF I’m the person suitable to hand hold her!!!! I read something the other day that someone with a broken leg wouldn’t be asked to turn up and do a 5k. Yet I’m still expected to hang out with a pregnant person, be over the moon for them, attend baby showers, stand in a shop and buy a card/gift even though it breaks my heart. “To be a good friend”. Sick of it!

Fortunately I have several friends who don’t have children and I’m much happier hanging out with them. There’s no elephant in the room because they don’t have child anecdotes they want to share with me and know I don’t want to hear.

Sorry, I’m having a right moan this morning!!

@Misty84 yeah I was so thrilled to be told to not stress her out! I cried a bit on the bus into work after that. You’re right, it’s totally invisible. I’ve been fairly open with people about us doing it, I may come to regret that, but it wouldn’t make people treat me any different. I was chatting to a few people women in the office about why I was off sick and I just said I had a miscarriage and ivf complications. Maybe I shouldn’t say as much but I don’t know what else to say.

Ughhhh honestly that is such bullshit. I’d be raging if a friend dared say that to me. You shouldn’t hold her hand at all, that’s on her, not your problem and you’ve got plenty of your own to worry about, fuck that.

moan away! I wish I had friends like that, sadly I don’t and all my work friends seem to be pregnant constantly. I comforted a colleague at work about her miscarriages the summer before last. She has her baby now, I remain uncomforted and without baby 🙄

Sorry to hear this @Misty84 @thislittlebird recently a couple friend of ours announced their 3rd pregnancy by asking if she could sit in the front for our journey because she's pregnant, knowing I get horrifically car sick in the back. We declined their offer of a lift and went by ourselves. No way I could bear that. People are very selfish and inconsiderate in general.

We've not even TTC this month as both just feeling too ill. We need to pay £125 for an AMH test as NHS won't do that for us. We've decided we will do multicycle package with Access and if we don't need the second cycle we'll just lump it. Thinking we'll go for another cycle in March. Not looking forward to it tbh. But needs must. A bit fed up woth everyone saying to me, "do you really think this is a good idea?" (About having a baby, not just IVF) I just want to shout angrilly at them! But I smile and laugh instead, "It's now or never,"!

Hi everyone. Please excuse my naivety. Could I please ask how you all got to where you are today and how long it took?

I've had irregular periods for almost as long as I've known. Been on the combined pill for almost a decade. Since coming off, only have very sporadic periods, perhaps 1 every 3 months. I'm in my 30s (being deliberately vague) and worried about how long it will take from trying to get an appt to see a GP to being referred etc. Years ago I had an ultrasound to check was PCOS - was told it was ok. Also referred to a specialist for possible endometriosis and on a waiting list thats about 5 years for surgery.

Came off the pill to see what my body would do sooner than when wed want to TTC. Turns out my body is doing very little - im not ovulating / getting periods. Still not ready to TTC but feel like time is of the essence so want to just go for it but terrified it may not happen for me. Were some of you like this with mega irregular periods - please can someone give me a bit of hope / guidance?

Hi @2023b how long have you been off the pill? I had irregular periods forever and by irregular I mean could go 9-12 months with nothing. So the gp put me on provera every 3 months to have a fake period for my health. I do have PCOS though. I’m a year into fertility treatment and got an immediate referral from my gp for help without having to try at all first as the severe lack of cycles meant naturally trying wasn’t an option at all so met the nhs criteria for an early referral whereas most couples have to try for at least a year before tests. I was referred in January 2021 and had first fertility clinic appointment February 2021, more tests and then started ovulation induction attempts with letrozole (didn’t work for me) and now fsh injections which are working but no pregnancy yet. 5 more injection cycles before moving to ivf if still no pregnancy. I think a lot of timings depend where you live but the nhs here (south Gloucestershire & Bristol) have been amazing

@thislittlebird I’m not surprised you cried on the bus after that. And yes I’ve also comforted several people who now have their babies, not much problem for them after all!

I am really really fortunate to have several childless friends as I can be my normal self around them and we can talk about other topics!!! I wish you had that as I can’t imagine not😔 I’ve told most people too, I’m very open about it, apart from I started at a new school in Sept and haven’t told a soul there. It’s quite weird because I’m used to people tiptoeing around me when the subject comes up and it’s actually quite liberating that the staff there assume I’m “normal” and don’t give me pitying looks or tread carefully when they mention anything baby related.
I’m glad my friends know what’s happening though. You can’t go through this alone.

Just booked our wedding date for next April which will give me over a year of distraction. That’s all my life is now, one big distraction. First the puppy, then the house, now the wedding. Because I’ve failed so miserably to start a family I’m trying desperately to succeed in every other area of life and feel like we’re still MOVING FORWARD. Because obviously with children we are stuck.

@MIW01 Grrr bloody selfish to insist you sit in the back even though she knew you get car sick, no wonder you declined the lift, why do we all have to dance around pregnant people like they are the most precious people on the planet?! I can understand you not looking forward to your cycles but you just gotta do it really. It’s important to have no regrets, we’ve all got to give this our best shot. Sending you as much strength as possible.

@2023b Sorry I don’t have advice for you about irregular periods. I think definitely get on to the GP asap and be insistent.
Think we all have quite long individual journeys here! I started TTC at 35 and I’m now approaching 39. During that time discovered I have very low amh so no NHS funding. 2 rounds of private IVF, nothing to transfer due to only retrieving a few eggs and discovered DP has severe male factor (anti sperm antibodies and high defragmentation). Despite this we MIRACULOUSLY conceived naturally which shocked everyone including all the professionals, but I miscarried. We now accept further IVF is not a viable route for us so we’re continuing trying to improve things with my DP via a private urologist. I have to say, I’ve lost a lot of hope and I think it’s unlikely to happen for us. So we’re in a process of slow grieving/acceptance. Both of us on antidepressants and having therapy.

@Misty84 thats exciting booking a wedding!! Wedding planning is so much fun and definitely something you can throw yourself into! Hope you enjoy planning it 😊 sorry if you’ve said before but did the nhs test your amh? I didn’t think they tested that?

Aww thank you @Alexis7890! Yes it’s lovely having something positive to plan!

Yes the NHS did test my AMH x

@Misty84 enjoy it!! Have you planned much already?

ah okay that’s interesting I didn’t think the nhs tested that, at least I don’t think they do here (Bristol)

Thank you @Misty84 and @Alexis7890. I think I'm weirdly in denial about my situation and also fearing about the worst. We both work in demanding careers so its easy to get distracted. I know I need to book an appt (DP has never been to the GP.. yes thats right. I have but my experiences have just been awful, not criticising the drs at all just the actual process of trying to phone at 8am every day for days on end before I get through then having some sort of screening interview process with reception staff to even be deemed worthy of an appt and finally getting one for ~5 weeks later only for it to be cancelled or to get called when I have no signal (my place of work)). I probably average seeing them once or twice a year (usually it was just to get a pill prescription).

Its hard to accept that my body isnt working properly. I cant help but notice everyone around me getting pregnant/ having babies and I cant even ovulate/have a period. Is the service much better/faster/worth it privately? I suspect I need some bloods and probably some kind of treatment to ovulate and maybe scans to monitor. Waiting for a period to come just feels incredibly slow and isolating. I'm hoping some on here can say they were similar, seeked medical attention and it was delivered promptly without costing the earth and they managed to have an actual child.

@2023b how long have you been off the pill for? Once they see you they will do a couple of blood tests, ultrasounds and a hsg x ray or hycosy. So far the nhs have been amazing and it’s all moved really fast. Obviously I’m not pregnant but partly because the low level ovulation meds just didn’t work for me so they had to keep changing and ramping it up. They are incredibly positive about our chances which is reassuring. We have up to 5 more injection cycles before going to ivf but if I really wanted to we could go straight to ivf now and the doctor would support it. I spoke to the gp in January last year and was with the clinic by mid feb so can’t ask for much faster than that!! But I totally understand the feeling of everyone else getting pregnant and having babies and it seriously sucks! Getting through to a gp can be horrible, ours were once I got through and got a same day appointment and referral sent that day by the gp as lack of cycles qualifies early referral for treatment. Hope some of that helps, it’s hard but try to stay positive that one day it will happen x

Thanks @Alexis7890, we have got a venue and a date 🤗- that’s all so far!

Hmm well I’m in Surrey so maybe it’s different here, it’s all a bit of a lottery isn’t it?!

@2023b I’m appalled at how long it takes you to get a simple GP appointment!! Is there another local doctors clinic you can switch to which might have a better system? Because 5 weeks just to talk to someone is INSANE!

Ugh @MIW01 what a shitty way to announce their pregnancy aka superiority. It’s exhausting how people behave. I have car sickness too, so I feel bad asking people to move as it is. I also would have declined the lift, not going to lump feeling sick as a dog in the back because someone thinks they’re the priority now.

@Misty84 great news you’re planning the wedding! How’s it going? April is a nice month. We were going with early May and then covid happened and it became October.

Waiting for DH’s latest SA. They lose the last one. Once we have that we’ll chase his varicocele scan. I’m so tired of it all and just feel detached. Had a pregnancy announcement today and it brings your own failure home again.

It’s going ok thanks @thislittlebird. Sorted venue and food company so far.
Outrageous that they lost your DH’s SA! Honestly, what a shitshow we are in!!!!🤦‍♀️

@Misty84 nice! Are you doing it locally or going to a destination of some kind?

I’m so sick of the state of the nhs. I had a meltdown about my GP and this 8am bullshit system last week. In December he did his test and the results never came back. Then he did another in January and the results once again aren’t in! I can see us having to pay for a private one to get things moving, what a joke. Aren’t they doing SAs the same day? It’s ridiculous.

Hi all,

I have pcos/ under active thyroid. Recently had my Hycosy, results were fallopian tube were clear.

They want to start ovulation induction next, how long would you recommend to try this for? I'm 36 (37 oct). Has there been better medications or treatments for someone with pcos and any successes?

Also how have you dealt with work, as I'm under the impression I will need 3/4 scans roughly per cycle to monitor how the egg/s are growing etc?

Many thanks
😊

Hey @MrsBiddy i have been on ovulation induction for a while with pcos. Started with letrozole which I did 4 cycles of on different doses and it didn’t work for me (ovulated on cycle 3 but didn’t on 4) then moved to fsh injections which I’m about to start cycle 2 of and ovulate fine on those and can have up to 6 cycles of it before going to ivf but they are very positive about our chances with the injections. I know plenty who have had letrozole work for them but I was told at the start it was likely to not work for me given the degree of pcos I have. Yeah letrozole monitoring was probably 3-4 per cycle, injections is more like 4-6. My boss knows what’s going on and my workplace is so flexible I just tell her when they are and go and I’m lucky all medical appointments are fully paid time off. Are you going through the nhs? They usually tell you how many cycles to try before moving on?

@thislittlebird thats awful!! Complain as much as you can about that!! I hope you have some positive news around that soon and can get things moving

@Alexis7890 sorry for the late reply, work has been hectic. I was on the pill on and off for about 10 years and came off it just over a year ago now. I am actually already under a specialist for possible endometriosis, only seen them once and the waiting list for surgery is about 5 years. At this point I wasnt TTC but was told to think about it sooner than later if we wanted DC and next appt was booked for a years time. Shortly after started TTC. I did have bloods and ultrasound back then though I'm not sure what they tested as wasnt actively TTC. Glad to hear youre having a good experience so far. Is this all NHS for you? We are actually in the process of moving house so need to register with a new local surgery. Just scared about being lost in the system again (took years to see the specialist, I know it was COVID but still took absolutely years, literally). Also not sure how best to pick a GP, to know which one would act quickly.

@Misty84 Yes it is ridiculous isnt it. I am moving house at the moment actually so want to try and make the right decision with choosing which surgery to register at, one that is easier to get an appointment with and most importantly access to fertility services. Any tips?!

@MrsBiddy I had letrozole and they didn't scan at all which I found weird was only 2.5mg.
@2023b if you've not been having cycles hopefully any endo will be small and not be much of an issue, best bet is going to gp or I find nurse practitionerface to face- easier to see and pass the reception challenge and they can refer. Ask to be referred to fertility clinic and they can do all tests needed and is a totqlly different waiting list than for gynae.

Hi all hope you're all doing ok? Haven't read back as I've been gone ages, had loads going on with the never ending still not actually happened house move!! Af finally arrived for me on 30/01 was a 101 day cycle and I was thinking maybe the dreaded m was creeping up on me but now I think it may have been the moving stress. Today should be cd18 but is cd1 again 🤷🏼‍♀️ assume my body is resetting itself to whatever normal may be!

Hi all,

I had my day 21 progesterone test results and came back as 0.5 which is low.

They don't know if it was the correct day, so have been told to call the nurse on cycle day 1 and then they can work out if it was correct day.

Got my doctor call booked in for March, if I haven't ovulated then I guess I would be going on medication for ovulation induction.

Once again my bmi is just over 35, and was told I need it under that to take the medication 🙄

Im still using my OvuSense monitor for bbt, this month is completely flat on my chart 📊 I dunno whether it was my Hycosy that has messed everything up or stress from starting a new job.

Hope everyone is ok x

Hope everyone is ok.

I’ve been quiet, just finished our first and only NHS round. It didn’t go great. After nearly six weeks down regulating on buserelin, I was ready to start Stims.

My right dud ovary basically refused to do anything during stims, so the left one did all the work. After 9 days I was ready to trigger and we ended up with 8 eggs.

From those 8 eggs, only 6 were mature. Due to our unexplained diagnosis and length of time trying (it’ll be 4 years this year) we went straight to ICSI rather than ICSI/IVF split. Only 2 eggs fertilised. OH sample was ‘strong for ICSI’.

By day 5, we had one poor quality blast and one that was behind. The behind one didn’t make it to day 6. We transferred our only blast, but it was not to be. BFN 4dp5dt. BFN 7dp5dt. BFN 9dp5dt. BFN 13dp5dt (test day). Not surprising. I started spotting 7dp5dt.

After egg collection, the whole thing was a shit show.

I know it’s early days. Only 1 cycle. First cycle isn’t always successful. But, ever get the feeling you’re just going round in circles. I feel like a mad person, trying and trying expecting a different result.

Review on the 27th Feb. Now it gets expensive, as we’ll have to go private. Sorry for the doom and gloom, but I just have this feeling we’ll be at this for years.