3catstoo - Over here!!!

[Ready]

Your very own thread

I don't mind at all. I didn't think of that - silly of me to ask!

Dh isn't watching but keeps checking the score on teletext.

Rained all day here too.

The day seems to have flown by without us doing anything productive.

Back to the hum drum tomorrow.

No, not at all - I am probably too secretive for my own good
Well, defeated. DH not happy. So suspect it is the same your end. Blast. It started off so well!
Hum drum - what's hum drum - remind me of that when I am working full-time and getting cheesed off with hum drum

Hi Ready and 3cats... manic weekend finally got online for longer than 5 minutes!

3cats I hope things aren't too tense between you and dh. Are things patchable upable? How is the text stuff?

Ready I hope your dh is doing ok, good luck with finding a new team. Does that mean you may have to move in the summer? Dh is happy with some of the recent results but grumpy about being knocked out of 2 cups
I hope your job start date gets brought forward. Good luck with the holiday booking.

As for me well dh has finished painting one of the two bedrooms and we're moving back in tonight! Having been sleeping on the sofa bed. We decided to get new carpet tonight so off to find suitable fluff next week

PS: Ready, I think it's a boy too we shall see

Hi Ready and City.

Sounds like you are busy City.

Not too tense with DH. Not sure if it's patchable upable (I like that phrase ).
I think it's more likely that we will just PLOD on as we are, no changes and stop mentionning the fact that I don't think things are great.

It will be easier to do that if the 'texting' thing continues as that gives me a bit of a release and in some wierd way makes me feel good about myself (although what I am doing is not good, iyswim).

Things might change when/if I go back to work once all the DCs are at school full time. I don't know how they will change but I'm sure once I have my identity back and am not just a mummy that is financially dependant on her DH, I will see things differently. Have a horrid feeling though that I will be more inclined to put my foot down then.

That's a way off though.

DH isn't too bad over the football Ready. He just keeps saying that they are losing now because of all the celebrating they did a few weeks ago .

Well housework beckons.......
Have a good week.

3cats, I felt quite sad to read that you don?t feel like you have your identity at the moment ? you mustn?t think in terms of being dependent on your dh ? or certainly no more than he depends on you. Only one of you adds to the finances, at the momenbt, but what you do ? looking after the house and the children, if you had to pay someone to do it is worth a lot of money. Looking after your children is one of the most important jobs there is.
How?s the working out going?

City, of course I hope I can?t book a holiday? but all will be revealed by the end of the week, so? not long to wait
Oooh, you think it is a boy too ? can?t wait to find out Any names in the hat at the moment? Or are you keeping any possibilities a closely guarded secret?
With regards to dh, basically, we won?t move again (well possibly houses/towns, but not counties) ? I will be working, and he will look for something close enough to commute ? he has had a rough run the last couple of years, and not many games under his belt ? so will need to take a step back to get back to where he wants to be? if that makes sense?
Hope you find some suitable fluff this week? Are you going for something out and out fluffy? We put a berber weave throughout the upstairs in our last house, softer underfoot than coir/seagrass? easier to hoover than the shagpile tufted types

3cats big hugs from London... I hope things improve. I agree with Ready you have a big role and so what if earning money isn't part of it, you're job is just as important! Are the kids doing ok do they pick up on any tension or do they just bumble along. I hope you find some cheery upy stuffy
Looking forward to the snow this weekend.

Hey Ready... no my shagpile days have been and gone Just going for the regular neutral fluff as we may need to sell next year. Although we did break the bed this weekend sadly not in any particularly exciting way... dh stood on the wrong bit when decorating and then I broke the other bit trying to dust! It has a fix but if we suddenly find ourselves in a pit in the middle we'll know why

I am in bed and dh is grumpy the laptop has come with... although v. pleased you are back Ready, that is no longer his evening question...

So asta la vista chicos

You politely side-stepped the name question... totally understand... but it was worth a cheeky punt

Thanks for your positive comments girls. DH's attitude gets to me sometimes. He really believes I sit around doing nothing all day and that the house cleans and tidies itself, the food cooks itself and the children educate, comfort and make themselves laugh.

I bought a really nice massage bar for his birthday and surprised him with a full body massage on sat night. I got to his legs and he told me I was doing it wrongly!
Afterwards he said that although the massage was nice he really doesn't like being covered in oil . Last time I make the effort to be nice.

I'm getting used to his critisising (sp?) so it isn't getting me down.

The children tend to be so wrapped up in themselves to notice. Most of our disputes are when they are in bed anyway and never get loud enough for them to hear.

Berber carpet is lovely. Very hardwearing and looks nice too. We had an oatmeal one in our last place. I do miss that. I would like to get that on our stairs eventually.
Happy shopping.

did he not realise before the massage that there would be oil involved. Tut.

I think he needs a dose of reality... sorry, it's wrong of me to say that, but - I had two years off work because we moved, and I had to leave a job I enjoyed, and dh was on short term contracts, and we decided we'd make the most of it...

what I am trying to say is, dh was the only one bringing in the money at that point - and so I took care of the house and him basically - and I know he appreciated everything I did for him, because he told me, often. Now I know I am lucky, and lots of husbands don't tend to notice things... but they need to realise that looking after a house is hard work. AND I didn't even have children!

How old is your youngest? Any ideas what work you would do when you go back to it?

Ready, my youngest is nearly 4. She will go to school part time in Sept. No idea what I will do. I don't want to go straight to work as soon as she starts school but I will go after a few months of getting my head together and hopefully get the house in some sort of order.

I think DH is stressed with work and sometimes takes it out on me. He finds it hard to relax and stop thinking of work. Having said that he is worse when is on holiday because he then tells what I do wrong all week and that my routine doen't make sense.

I'm sure we'll get through it.
For me it's the lack of attention/affection that's the real bug bare at the moment. I seem yo have hit my peak iyswim. I've tried discussing it with him but he takes it the wrong way. I've suggested spicing things up a bit and visiting an Ann summers type shop together. He just laughed.

If the boot were on the other foot I would be constantly pestered and told about his needs. He thinks I'm strange for feeling this way.

Hey ho!

Are you doing anything nice this weekend?
I don't think we have any plans other than the usual egg hunt in the garden on Sunday.

Hi I hope you 2 are looking forward to the long weekend.

I really wasn't bypassing the name question I was just in a silly hurry yesterday and overlooked it. I am struggling with names... boys in particular.

Here are the criteria

• I have a short unusual name and would like to find similar. Trying to avoid a name that can be shortened... or is popular
• the name can't start with H would sound silly with surname
• the middle name should be something i could live with them taking as a first name if they wanted to, but if I really like the middle name should I save it for a possible future child?
• I like names that start with the letter K and dh mentioned he would like it to end with a vowel
• Oh and it can't be called sam as its soon to be born cousin will be

I am sorry your dh doesn't sound too cooperative 3catstoo. I am racking my brains for some good ideas, but seems like you're trying them all. Maybe, point out to him that you like oil and its your turn for a massage!
Or persevere and ask if he'd like a massage with body cream or what would he prefer? Or wait until he goes for a naked wee in the middle of the night and leave the oil out on the bathroom floor

I am such a big kid I got very excited about your Easter egg hunt! I can't actually eat Easter eggs (allergic) so I would have to hunt for liquorice allsorts or something!

We have nothing too exciting at the weekend...
a bit of fluff shopping, flat painting and last minute hugs as dh is going away next week for 10 days skiing

City,
The oil on the floor seems like a good plan .
He was actually very amorous last night and surprised me with some attention (very late in the evening but I shouldn't complain - I was almost asleep!). I did remind him afterwards that it was only Wednesday and not Saturday, he did see the funny side!.

I would still like to spice things up as it might encourage him to want to be more spontaneous and a bit more frequent .

I have tried to talk to him about it and see if he has any ideas/fantasies. He had none . Even after I tried to suggest things.

We talked about where we had had sex with (the very few) previous partners we had both been with. I was shocked to discover that DH had never had sex outside of the bedroom. It has taken me 13 years to discover that. I'm a bit of an outdoor girl. Infact the conversation came about whilst watching Echo Beach and seeing the young lovebirds at it on the beach. I admitted to do the same (not quite so young as the couple on the programme). DH then started to question other places I had tried (all with the same bf of 3 years).
Strange that it has taken so long for this to come out. we are so different really. Not a bad thing in some cases but I think I will have my work cut out getting him to broaden his horizons after so long.

Sorry if that was all tmi. I find it very easy to be open about this stuff.

Names are so complicated. My DS has a popular name but it wasn't popular when we picked it. It was only when visiting the health clinic that I realised every third boy had the same name. DD1s name although not a 'different' name is not widely used. We know of no other children with her name even 7 years later (apart from an annoying celebrity recently calling her daughter the same).

It's good to avoid strange spellings of names too - as it always results in people getting it wrong. DD2 has a very simple name ending in ie but everyone always puts a y.

'Different' names are fine as long as you follow through with subsequent children. There's nothing worse than a quirky name for one and plain popular names for others (a friend of mine did this and it really sounds odd/looks odd in cards.

I'm going on aren't I. I'm delaying cleaning the kitchen .

Good luck with the fluff shopping. Are you going for a particular colour scheme?
We are going tile shopping. It's a diy ing weekend.

Ready, hope you are well. Fingers crossed for you sweetie.

Have a fab weekend. will think of you when searching for eggs on Sunday. We hide books too so that it's not just choc. It's a good way of buying them the books they want when there are no birthdays coming up. all 3 are book fiends so they love to get new ones to add to their collection that is due to take over the house.
Sunday had better arrive quickly though before I eat all of the mini eggs!

3catstoo I hope dh keeps up his amour I ask mine if he has any fantasies... he said no but I don't believe him just reckon he's embarrassed. So I just try and dress up and buy the odd silly item, then I reckon even if my fantasy isn't it he can imagine others. Still I do get a bit p**ed off when I am trying to play the dominant naughty leather one and he's laughing his head off!

Thanks for your advice with names it is tough. I started looking at them all excitedly and after realising the enormity of the task I've been treating it like a rainy day task. I so want dh and I to agree....

Colour scheme for fluff is something that hides dirt... and is neutral possibly beige/ natural... I will post a silly photo of our choice maybe!

Hide me a Mr Men book on Sunday! We're having roast chicken. Its the anniversary of when we first dated but I think dh has forgotten so I should get some brownie points!

Right off to bed, but annoyed with the weather so will huddle under the covers to compensate!

Evening girls

3cats, I definitely think, don?t rush into anything, have a good look into what you want to do? Any idea what you would fancy? Anything you have always wanted to try your hand at? The sky?s the limit. What about a night course before you get going?
It certainly sounds like your dh is embarrassed about opening up to you about his fantasies and things. Lots of people don?t feel able to share, even with their partners ? so it is something you may need to work on. If he has only ever had sex in the bedroom, that certainly would suggest he is quite inhibited ? but that doesn?t mean that with a bit of gentle but constant persuasion, you can?t spice things up The fact that you have started talking about it is a really good start isn?t it.

City (officially not talking to you, Chelsea grrrrr. ) ? we are completely the opposite, I think we could have a football team and have great names for all of them. But it is the girls that we don?t agree on. With your criteria in mind ? beginning with K and ending in a vowel? how about Kyle? Or Kai? Don?t think either is very popular? With middle names I tend to think they are family names. We intend to use dh?s father?s name? and/or his great-grandmother?s name, and/or my maternal grandmother?s name as middle names. Right? short names? Theo? Sean? Toby? Noah? Luke? Rhys? Ryan? Jude? Scott?
Our favourite is in there
Happy Date Anniversary by the way

Ok. Do either of you watch Eastenders? I don?t normally, but dh is on the phone to a mate, and I just turned the tv on and have seen one of the characters buried alive ? wtf!?

Morning girls.

Buried alive ???? I don't watch it. I have seen the odd one but usually a snippet as I flick to another side.

A night course would be great if DH could get home at a reasonable time. Because of his commute he doesn't get back early enough.

City, how did the fluff shopping go?

Did you both get snow yesterday? We did an easter hunt in the snow and froze our toes off. We do the same NT hunt every year. Last year was 20 degrees but it was 3 weeks later than this year. Even so bit of a difference from 2 degrees.

Kai is a popular name here, as is Theo. 2 Noahs at swimming classes but not at school. No Kyles, Scotts, Rhys, Toby or Judes though.

Well... how about Open University, or distance learning of some kind...

Gawd, I am pushy aren't I?

I do have some accountancy exams to finish but it costs heaps to do the courses. I would like to finish them even if I don't continue to work in that area.

You are not pushy at all. I need all the help I can get with ideas.

I would like to do some kind of dress making course at some point. I am useless with a sewing machine. All I make are cushions and curtains.
I am a petite build and find it very restricting when clothes shopping. I always want what I can't have.
I would also love to make dresses for my girls instead of paying Mr Boden for lovely prints in simple designs!

An old friend of mine started making childrens dresses based on a Boden design that was discontinued but amazingly popular. She sold them to friends and then branched out onto the internet. She now has her own business making beautiful and classic clothes and accessories. (abroad now).

I would love to do that.

If I had my way I would change my curtains every week because I just love getting new fabrics (sad isn't it).

I might have a play about with my sewing machine tonight now.

Working from home would be fab aswell. The thought of working through the school hols and having to get child care scares me after being at home with the children.

Any news Ready?

My AF is looming I fear. expected though. I was expecting it a week early like last months so was nicely surprised to have a few extra days.

Yep, you should definitely finish them off, even if you don't go on to go into that area. It's good to have as many qualifications under your belt.

I've been interested in doing a dressmaking course - I looked into it where we lived before, but we moved, so couldn't pursue it. (I have started teaching myself to knit as a substitute)

If you make curtains/cushions etc, I would think that you would be able to move into the clothing area with just a little bit of practice. If you fancy having your own business doing that - and I would definitely visit your website Go for it!

I can imagine how hard it is finding an employer who understands school hols. There was an article in the Times about working from home... I'll see if I can find it.
No news here... other than I am ill. Dh is looking after me, and doing a grand job, bless him. I have been told the security people are waiting on 2 more checks, so it could be any day now. Eek.

Sorry to hear that cd1 is looming... Boooo.

Fluff shopping went well, should be delivered in a few weeks. Not sure dh is too pleased about having to dismantle the furniture for the installers!

Just had sleet and lots of non-settling snow, but its damn cold here for London! Which is particularly annoying as my coat doesn't fit anymore and I broke the zip!

The Easter Hunt sounds like loads of fun. Good luck with the job options. Its a tough call what to do. I am already feeling guilty about planning to go back to work full time.

Am v low as tomorrow dh goes away for 10 days and the hormones are making it unnecessaryily tough.

Sorry about looming CD1s I hope lots of spring luck is around the corner!

Oh City I hate it when dh goes away. Once he went on a pre season tour to America for 2 weeks and we had only just moved to the area, I knew no-one, and hadn't got a job yet, so I had a terrible time. If I had been pregnant and hormonal I would have been even worse Take care of yourself, and just shout if you need anything (ready1979 "at" btinternet "dot" com)

I feel worse than yesterday, streaming and totally lethargic

Sorry to see you City.

Good news about the fluff .

Ready I hope you start feeling better soon.

Big hugs to you both.

Thanks guys it helps to know you're about for a chat and hug

I am really not complaining about my lot because so far we've had a lucky year... I just really wish the emotional symptom could be switched off at work Spending 20 minutes in tears in the fire exit stairwell is not very practical
Dh is flying right now to Canada and its only 10 days so I should be fine. I am terrible at the goodbye part so it should get better from now on!
Its not helped much by things being shit at work

Anyway enough about me, how are you two doing? Ready have I missed the holiday plans, 3cats any more career thoughts?

We have booked the holiday... did I link to the hotel? I thought I did? Anyway... Madeira it is. And soooo excited I really cannot wait... 9 weeks I think.

Oh no, sorry to hear that you are getting emotional at work. Is it the work or just the frustration boiling up and not being able to control due to your condition

Here's the article 3cats that I read in The Times

Great article thanks Ready.

I have started looking into the dress making already.

Even if I make stuff for my children it won't be wasted practice.