Fertility Appointments and Beyond.... the next chapter

[Tinkerbell098]

I have created a new thread as the previous one is about to fill up. I've tagged some of us here, but apologies if I have missed anyone.

The thread is for anyone who has started/ about to start fertility investigations or treatment. Come join us, we are a lovely bunch :)

@tillybabs
@thislittlebird
@kay00
@jeaniej
@PurpleUnicorn01
@paintfairy
@dogmam
@flutterby8
@Ughmaybenot
@dancingfairydreams
@beckycarlos
@jkjellyhead
@juno231
@decaffe
@bumble44
@BritinNZ
@tinkerbell098
@pinkginpls
@thedaydreambelievers
@everymumday
@wanderlust16
@lori23ttc
@Gracie2021
@Sofasogood1
@99pctpractice
@magnoliasinbloom

@beckyCarlos it really is like gambling. That’s why I’m confused. On the plus side, doing a double at the end would mean we could move to another egg collection more quickly which I’m keen to do because of my age. So I’m really torn. Can see myself being more keen to transfer two of the next fails. Not sure i have it in my to keep this up for years though, with no success.

@thislittlebird dinner went fine no drama! and I let myself drink too since there is nothing in me right now so letting go for a little bit. hope everyone had a lovely weekend too!

on the topic of twins honestly I will take anything everything. I think transfer 2 is absolutely fine as the risk doesn't multiplied greatly? I haven't really look into it scientifically though. @thislittlebird so you have two embryos left? By all means speak to the doctor and see what they recommend.

@JeanieJ the clinic must acknowledged that they muck up without realising the quality of the sperm is like this? hope all goes well x

So today is Day 5, embryologist called first thing in the morning. they froze 9 embryos out of 16! and will keep the rest on the watch till tomorrow hoping one or two will also make it. Although when I ask about the quality she was a bit shady and saying the score isn't definitive bla bla bla. everything freezable is good enough. slightly annoyed but from what she was saying they are all in the above average bracket with the worst being a 4BC. I will take anything... need to fix the appointments ahead of the frozen transfer!

@pinkginpls 9 is a fantastic outcome, you must be chuffed! If they freeze then they’re fine to use.

We have three left, next transfer will be a single, the one after that I have the option of double (around end of august probably?).

The problem with the sperm and @JeanieJ‘s clinic, I assume, is that dna fragmentation is still not considered legit or standard, so they don’t take it into consideration.

@pinkginplz 9! Thats amazing, well done you and your eggs! (Minor appreciation for sperm haha).

@thislittlebird that is totally understandable, it is A LOT for a person to deal with. I honestly don't know how people do this for years. Fingers crossed it'll all work out with these three embryos you have 🤞

I am so so grateful for the number of embryos. a massive step forward. I am treating these 6 weeks as holidays and enjoy myself. hopefully we will be able to do a transfer in two cycles time. and may it sticks!!!

@thislittlebird hopefully the next one is the one! then all the planning for what ifs won't be necessary. how are you feeling about it?

@pinkginpls I found the wait for a FET hard but best in the long run probably best, my body definitely took a couple of months to calm down from the meds. I wish I could say I was feeling positive but I’m not really. I feel like I knew we wouldn’t get pregnant easily when we started all this in 2019. I still feel like that nearly 3 years later, like there’s something more wrong, wrong with me, and none of this will work for us. I know it’s probably me protecting myself but I can’t shake the feeling I’m not meant to be doing this, that it won’t ever work for us. That doesn’t mean it won’t work, but that’s how it feels.

@beckyCarlos I hope so but I’m feeling pretty negative at the mo 🫠

@thislittlebird those timings you had with Dr Ramsay don't sound as bad as I expected. I'm hoping they get back to me soon.
@pinkginpls my clinic is NHS, so they don't do DNA fragmentation, just the standard semen analysis. Congrats on your 9 embryos 🙂

@pinkginpls that's such fantastic news, massive congrats.

@thislittlebird @beckyCarlos transferring two for me would come down to a financial decision. Each transfer is 1600 euro out of pocket and once our two best embryoes are gone we'll be down to a 30% chance per remaining embryo. Financially makes more sense to spend 1600 on a 60% shot than a 30% shot. Also conscious of the clock ticking (although I'm only 34, my ovarian age is much older) and mentally getting through this whole process as fast as possible is my goal.

@thislittlebird have the same exact feeling of doom about mine tbh.... Trying so hard to think positively about it but am so used to bad news at this point and hearing how bad my egg quality is etc plus never having had a single positive in two years.... yeah it's hard to hope. Trying to stay in the moment and not look ahead is my coping mechanism at the moment. Can I ask why you're doing natural/natural modified? I don't even know how/why they selected medicated for me. Nervous about it as I have a history of thin lining and have no idea how I'll react to the estrogen....

Is it worth asking if he has any cancellations etc @JeanieJ ? Hope you get in soon.

@JeanieJ I hope Dr Ramsey can be of some help to you. If you OH has a varicocele and it can be removed potentially this could resolve the DNA frag issues. Although I know they have found higher rates of DNA frag among infertile couples I’m not sure it’s the be all and end all. There must be couples out there with DNA frag that have had children naturally and never been tested.

@thislittlebird have always loved the idea of twins although would be terrified as there is a greater chance of losing the pregnancy. Unfortunately don’t think we will have enough embryos to put two back in one go. Totally get what you mean about wasting a chance if you put two back and neither sticks.

@pinkginpls wow 9 that's amazing, you must be so pleased with that!! Hopfully you can make a baby and a couple of siblings with that number!

@JeanieJ I'm in the same boat as you but we have had two rounds of icsi already and only now getting my partner fully checked out. We have an appointment with Dr Ramsey booked for mid July, my first email to his secretary was 30th May so only 6 weeks to wait, not 3 month. The initial consultation is £300 but obviously any treatment after that and follow ups etc I'm assuming with be £££ but hopfuly all worth it. My normal nhs clinic where we had our ICSI also don't do any tests for fragmentation and actually said they don't believe there is a fix hence us paying private for dr Ramsey. Having said that, we do have an appointment on Friday with their in-house andrologist although to be honest I'm not really holding much hope seen as they don't believe in dna frag. I'm thinking of asking him though, if dr Ramsey recommends my partners small varicose is emolised, would my nhs clinic please do it, just to save the money having to pay private. The other thing for me is ive already spent hundreds on trains and hotel!!

Follow up appointment finally came though after our most recent failed cycle.. its not until August! Which will is nearly 11 weeks after our negative test. Really ridiculous to have to wait that long but I've also enquired with a different clinic so hoping to move anyway so the follow up won't be needed, although if be interested in what they have to say.

@dogmam wow, you've gone through so much 😕

11 weeks is long wait too 😶

Were you doing ICSI for a particular reason or did the DNA frag help you decide?
Are your rounds funded or private? I get 1 round funded in my area.

My husbands standard semen analysis is 'normal', so they had us on track for IVF, but ICSI on the day of the sample is bad.

6 weeks doesn't seem so bad a wait for consultation 🤞🏻

I'm still waiting for my clinic to get back to me and for Dr Ramsays office to respond, but trying to be patient because it's only Tuesday morning.

If my husband needs his varicocele embolysed, we'll probably go private because the wait in our area for that kind of non elective surgery is over a year & we just don't have the time.

@pinkginpls that's amazing to have so many embryos in the freezer! How brilliant, hope you can now sit back and relax a bit and recover.

@thislittlebird I had a transfer of two embryos on my first cycle and my new clinic go for up to 3 transfers a cycle, so I am a bit more on board with multiple transfers. It does obviously make it more uncertain from the perspective of potential future issues, testing, etc but I think for me it was only an 11% chance that both of them would stick so I just went for it. I would be delighted with twins though, which I know is not for everyone....

@JeanieJ so sorry to hear about your OH's comet test results. Sounds like you have a plan now and there are so many positive stories about how lifestyle changes etc can improve sperm quality in 3 months (it seems to be much easier to change than egg quality) so fingers crossed that Dr Ramsay is able to help! Were there any indicators that the sperm quality wasn't great before getting the comet test done? Thinking that we should do one too before the next ivf round.....

@dogmam that is insane how long you have to wait for a follow up. Do you get another round with the same clinic?

@99pctpractice - honestly no.
We were just told he was normal last year, then recently we wanted the detail & he is on the low end of normal. Then I listened some podcast about male fertility & they were talking about varicoceles & I recognized what they described, so it prompted us to ask the GP - she was like yup that's a varicocele, but nothing we can do.
Because we just had a miscarriage, we felt like we needed the test him a bit more which is why we did the test.
I'm really sad about it, the loss has really affected me after so long ttc, but at the same time I'm glad we know something now rather than later and maybe we can fix it?
I just turned 35, so I'm starting to feel the clock, but there is time I think/hope. My levels are normal, but I wouldn't say they are amazing either.

@JeanieJ yeah it wasn’t too bad. It’s the usual time of year he goes on holiday so that might be adding to the wait a little.

@Gracie2021 the financial aspect makes sense. We get three transfers funded and then after that I assume they’ll send me a lovely bill 🫠. I could avoid that by doing a double. Tbh I might stick with Guys private arm if we need another egg collection cycle, so I don’t mind paying them for a transfer but could do the double and speed things up and avoid that extra grand. I feel like I’m currently leaning towards a double, considering my age. My amh is fine/high for my age so that’s not a concern but my biological clock ticking is. Like will my periods suddenly go off kilter in the next couple of years? I don’t know, I just want this to work so I don’t have to get more anxious as time passes.

I totally get the doom thing, it’s really hard to shake. I always joked like my sisters had used up my quota of kids too, they have 12 between them, and now grandkids too, and now it feels like that’s the reality for me. I don’t get any, they get lots. And yeah, the lack of positive is so, so hard. I can’t be sure I can get pregnant, because I never have. Maybe I can’t :/

I think they basically shove most people on medicated because they can control timings but I know oestrogen is contraindicated for hormonal migraines so I asked to do a natural but modified with added progesterone. I also get thrush when my oestrogen is high from what I can tell and I didn’t want that and/or migraines for weeks on end. I’ve known a few people on here who had lining issues and it didn’t improve theirs, so if you have any trouble with that don’t be afraid to tell them you want to try natural/natural modified.

@InvisibleDreamer that’s the fear! I don’t mind putting back two but if they don’t stick it will feel harsh. And two is risky, but my bigger fear is three 😬. Hopefully at my age it’s super low odds.

@dogmam 11 weeks!!! I thought our 3 week follow up was harsh. What you’re doing sounds like the right thing. A fresh clinic, different protocol, plan with the andrologist etc.

@99pctpractice I’m not far off your age and I think they must be more chilled because the odds are lower. I am definitely leaning towards a double after this one. I would be very happy with twins but I’ll be honest and say I’m also scared of things that can go wrong and not being able to test so thoroughly for issues makes me anxious.

Hi all, have just found this thread and been reading though. My gosh there are a lot of acronyms (if anyone has a handy guide let me know!).

Story is that husband and i have been together nearly 10 years and finally started ttc (I got that one!) about 9 months ago. About 6 months ago got introduced to the pee sticks for ovulation and since then have only had one confirmed ovulation despite some "highs". Tried speaking to my GP but they were useless so given I'm nearly 36 we've decided to go straight down the private route. Have a consultation and batch of tests booked in over the coming weeks which is great so hopefully will find out whats going on and get a course of action in place.

Thanks for all sharing your stories and updates, it is heartening to know that we are not alone in having difficulties (none of my friends have had any difficulties which makes it hard to talk to people irl).

Ff35 x

Hi all

I'm new on this thread

I have been referred to a fertility clinic at the start of April and still not had an appointment through, I'm guessing this is the norm? How long have others waiting before their first initial appointment? X

Hey @flowerfan35! Sorry you were fobbed off by your GP. Once youre over 35 they should refer you once you've been trying for 6 months so you could just go back and ask for a referral (although if youre happy to go private it may well be quicker, but I think that depends where you live and in my case how well staffed they are!)

Lol at acronyms, hoping someone here has a handy link! I know I spent a lot of time googling when I was first here :)

@dogmam @thislittlebird
Dr Ramsays PA got back to me, next appointment in 6 weeks 🙈 same as yours - first week of August.
Also, my fertility clinic are bringing me & my husband for a review and they're earliest date is the first week of August.

I guess we'll just try to find something to distract ourselves with in the meantime. Going to Sardinia end of July, so that's something to look forward to - it's our belated honeymoon from 2020 🙈

@Flowerfan35 - welcome 🙂. Sorry to hear you've been fobbed off by your gp, that's so annoying. Hopefully you get some answers.

@Diam0ndsareagirlsbestfriend welcome 🙂. Yeah, that sounds like a while for referral? It really depends where you live I guess?I got my referral end of Feb 2021, then had my first fertility appt end of April 2021.

Xx

@JeanieJ that's great that it's speedier than you expected!! I'm so sorry you had a miscarriage - I had one back in March and it was beyond miserable. I spent most of the time I was pregnant anticipating it but it was still heartbreaking when it happened. It does get better over time but every time I see a pregnant lady / new baby I still get a real pang.

I think I'll get my husband to do a comet test too. I thought because we did get pregnant it was unlikely to be a sperm issue, but sounds like that isn't the case. Plus it can't hurt to know before the final round of ivf, even if our clinic didn't seem that bothered about it (I think they're pretty convinced that the issue is my eggs).

@thislittlebird such a difficult decision, especially when you want to give the best chances to the embryos. I did some research into testing twins (eg amniocentesis etc) before my double transfer and they can still do it but you want to make sure you have a really experienced consultant because it is more complex. And everything twins related is higher risk. So exciting that you're getting to the transfer stage!! I know it's hard to be optimistic when you've had such a rough ride to get here and I really hope that at least one (hopefully 2 🙂 ) of those embryos will be a sticky one for you.

Hello @Flowerfan35 ! I was fobbed off by my gp too but my husband was more persistent and I'm now booked into get an hsg on the nhs in July (in parallel to doing ivf privately), so if you can face it it might be worth trying to push for the nhs route as well because they might make different suggestions and it's always good to get another opinion....

@99pctpractice yeah I mean, right now I'm pretty I unhappy I got these results, but I guess it's good to know in the long run 🙄.
My husband is so detached from it too ... he's taking action, but doesn't want to talk about it and keeping it matter of fact. He sees the male fertility doc appt as the next step & is keeping it out of his mind. That's always the way with us ... I get very emotional & he sticks to the facts.
We're still gonna keep ttc & hope for the best 🤞🏻 but I dunno what'll happen if anything & now our miscarriage risk is super high, maybe it's a bad idea 😶
Yeah, I know what you mean about dealing the the grief and pregnant people triggers after miscarriage.
I'm lucky that most of my friends in London haven't got kids, but my best friend has a 1 years old and we started ttc at similar times ... so that's been really tough ... plus the fact that she's not been great at supporting me since the loss. I'm just avoiding her atm - I'm too fragile to confront her about it, so keeping a distance.

Xx

Welcome to @Flowerfan35 @Diam0ndsareagirlsbestfriend !!

@pinkginpls Wow! 9 frozen is amazing... how did your others get on, on day 6? I'm super pleased for you!

@Kay00 hope you're doing ok?

@JeanieJ so sorry it's so hard having a friends baby as a timeline for how long you've been stuck in limbo. Have the same and it's so hard thinking what if. Really hope getting this bad news is the turning point for you guys and that you can tackle the problem and see some positive results. Hope you and your OH are both doing ok x

@99pctpractice when is your hsg? Have you had one before?

Hi @Diam0ndsareagirlsbestfriend @Flowerfan35 welcome to you both.

Day 12 here and first lining check is Monday. So nervous and really hope it's thick and luscious and tri 🤞 way too many hopes pinned on this upcoming transfer.

@Flowerfan35 @Diam0ndsareagirlsbestfriend welcome! Ask us about all the acronyms if you're not sure, happy to answer!

@JeanieJ that's not too bad really, manageable and it's the end of June now!

@Diam0ndsareagirlsbestfriend I think my first referral took from Feb to May, but it will vary by area.

@99pctpractice I'll have to look into this twins thing too, but good to know it's possible I suppose. We're doing a single this time, fingers crossed I don't need to get there lol. Period is due in a few days, then I get to call to start transfer two in progress.

@Gracie2021 good luck for the lining check on Monday! You've started the drugs then? It's hard not to think the first one could work, but it does for lots of people.

Fingers crossed period comes on time and you can kick off @thislittlebird. I've been on 6mg femetab as well as prednisolone and baby aspirin since day 2 so will be interesting to see how it's looking. Made the decision (assuming we get to transfer) to test every day with internet cheapies. Want to know if there's a CP for informational reasons. I think I had a couple of these before but as I never tested out my triggers for my timed cycles I never knew if the trigger just stayed around ages or if it was a CP. what are peoples views on testing?