Fertility Appointments and Beyond.... the next chapter

[Tinkerbell098]

I have created a new thread as the previous one is about to fill up. I've tagged some of us here, but apologies if I have missed anyone.

The thread is for anyone who has started/ about to start fertility investigations or treatment. Come join us, we are a lovely bunch :)

@tillybabs
@thislittlebird
@kay00
@jeaniej
@PurpleUnicorn01
@paintfairy
@dogmam
@flutterby8
@Ughmaybenot
@dancingfairydreams
@beckycarlos
@jkjellyhead
@juno231
@decaffe
@bumble44
@BritinNZ
@tinkerbell098
@pinkginpls
@thedaydreambelievers
@everymumday
@wanderlust16
@lori23ttc
@Gracie2021
@Sofasogood1
@99pctpractice
@magnoliasinbloom

@beckyCarlos I'm so sad to read your update, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how you're feeling. As you said, at least you know you can get pregnant and so I hope that gives you some comfort xx

Thanks all, it's good to have somewhere where people truly get it x x x

@thislittlebird counselling did flash through my mind today as a 'maybe I should...' but then I remembered everything you and others had said and gave my head a wobble! It seems like a very frustrating experience and I'm not sure they'd like my humour as a coping mechinism thing!

@beckyCarlos I'm so sorry for your loss This whole "journey" (if one more person, including me, calls it that 🤮) fucking blows. It's so unfair.

Just to provide a counter position - I found therapy really useful after my miscarriage. That said, mine was a lot more useful than @thislittlebird 's experience.

@beckyCarlos I think it really depends on who you get, like @TheDaydreamBelievers had a good experience, so did someone else on a thread of mine. I just don’t see the point of the type of counselling I was getting. She’s not doing anything to help, just agreeing and because I said I was ok at the moment she just sort of wrapped things up and said you call me. It was stupid. You might get a good one!

Worth mentioning that I paid privately and chose the sort of therapy I wanted - I'm a psychologist myself so had insight into the kind of thing that might help. Also meant I was confident enough to bin the first one I tried after session 1 when they were rubbish

@beckyCarlos I personally have found counselling really helpful however my counselling is specifically for babyloss and given by a counsellor who has been through babyloss themselves. I can’t imagine a general counsellor would be of any use at all.

@Tillybabs missed your reply earlier. So this cycle they're just seeing how you get on and you'll do a natural in June?

I was so pleased to see my waist was an inch smaller, it's nice to see the progress being made!

The counsellor is so annoying and has been for two sessions now. It is the NHS one, yeah. They have to offer it, but it feels like I've got some rando standing in for a counsellor. I don't see the benefit of talking to a woman who just says "yeah, hmmm, understandable" on repeat. I know it's understandable! As I said above, if you feel you need it it's worth a go, but clearly for me it's not going to be very useful if I have to keep speaking to this one.

@beckyCarlos I'm so sorry to hear that, that's so sad. And even if in some ways it's good to know you can get pregnant it is still just a massively shitty thing to have to go through. I did get some counselling after my miscarriage and I think it was kind of helpful, but mostly I needed time to process it all. Sending lots of big hugs your way xxx

@thislittlebird yep exactly that. I guess they want to see how the lining looks now and put a plan in place for a natural cycle in June possibly modified

@beckycarlos 😪😪😪 I'm so so sorry my dear xx

@beckyCarlos I'm so sorry for your loss.
It's such a sad & painful thing to go through especially after such a long journey.
I hope you take some time to look after yourself. I haven't been great at that after my MC and I'm starting to feel the strain.
I recommend counseling too. I have just a normal counselor, but today DH and I are going to a special baby loss charity in our area that provide free counseling so hoping that gives us extra support. Maybe your EPU has something too? Mine didn't 😵‍💫

@thislittlebird I never got on with the NHS counseling. When I was referred last year, I pushed against CBT and they referred me to a super low cost option of counseling in my area & it's been a great help. I do feel like my counselor is a true ally. Don't be afraid to feedback if your counselor isn't working for you, they need to know so they can get better at it.

@Tillybabs good luck with your cycle in June.
Xx

@beckyCarlos sorry for your loss hun. Please look after yourself, see someone, talk to someone, or netflix to your heart's desire. do whatever makes you happy dear.

@thislittlebird my baseline scan shows 14 follicles. It is going to be a short protocol starting from early June. DH is going in for yet another SA on Friday. Just slowly getting us there!

and well done on your diet! takes serious determination. when you due for Cyprus?

Had my scan this morning. Whilst it's thicker than a medicated cycle, the quality isn't great and so she has finally agreed to do the modified downregulation which I've been pushing for. I want to try everything before a transfer to give myself the best chance.

So there is some consolation. I will be on downreg from my next period for 3 months.

@beckycarlos I'm so sorry you're going through this. There's no words but just sending you all the virtual hugs. Hope you have support to get your through. I had signed up for counselling a couple months ago and ended up cancelling it as having to juggle another appointment was actually causing me more stress. No right or wrong answer in terms of seeking help or not but if you do feel it's the right path for you, hope you find someone good.

Sorry all, I've been lurking in the background and keeping up with all your updates but just not in the headspace to interact much. Round 4 ER this week and at this point just plodding through and keeping my head down and trying not to think about any of it too much. As a current coping strategy it's working so might continue for round 5 before I check back in properly. But thinking of you all and sending you all the very best of luck xxx

@beckyCarlos oh no I'm really sorry to read your update, the way its been dragged out too, is an extra shitter. Have you been fearing the worst between each scan but at the same time having a tiny bit of hope that its all going to be ok, but pushing the hope back down so as to not build up unrealistic expectations? I say that because I remember feeling similar when I had bad news at my first scan but it wasn't fully confirmed until a second scan a week later. I hope you are OK as can be x

@Gracie2021 good luck with the next collection and I hope things are going in the right direction for you!

@Tillybabs at least you know you're giving yourself the best chance and throwing everything at it! The 3 months is a pain but hopfully you can have a nice summer whilst waiting.

@pinkginpls baseline scan sounds good with 14 follicles!

@thislittlebird well done on the diet! You must be pleased with that. Your experience with the counseller is exactly why I'v never tried it! What can they really say unless they've been through it, as we know unless you have, then people just don't get it! Whens your follow up again? Can you not just go straight in for another FET?

@Kay00 How's things going with your cycle?

Well shitty update from me. Egg collection yesterday and I randomly had a little bleed before I even got to the clinic!! Don't know what that was about. Collection itself was fine, I opted not to take lorazopam the night before and the morning of which for me was much better, I felt more with it and in control. Anyway, 7 eggs collected, but this morning the embryologist rang and said 6 were mature and only 3 fertilised. I know it only takes one but going by my first round where I had a massive drop off then I'll be lucky to have any by day 3 never mind anything to transfer. I'm just so pissed off with the drugs I was on, I really think it was far too low of a dose. For someone who's AMH is above 30 and antral follicle count is also above 30, I feel like getting 7 eggs collected is terrible. Like this time around not only was I on a lower dose, I also stimmed for 1 less day. My clinic only do 4 ladies collections a day and its hard not to think maybe the other days were full with planned long protocols. At this point I just feel this was a wasted round and bad decisions were made, I'd like to be proved wrong though if the clinic can show me otherwise. Obviously they're not responsible for how many fertilise but again why didn't they pick up from my first cycle that I had quite a big drop off rate so the more eggs the better to account for that. Just feeling frustrated and the thought of having to go through a third cycle makes me feel sick.

@dogmam let's not assume the worst for now. It only takes one good egg... what's done is done. You got to believe you have done everything you can and if it doesn't work it is no one's fault. OK we can blame the clinic a little... but hey it may turn out ok!! Fingers and toes cross for you. xxx

@Gracie2021 drop by anytime you feel like it. I like to disappear from everything myself from time to time too. hope all is going well with you xxx

@gracie2021 good to hear from you, I was hoping you were ok :)
@dogmam exactly that, I knew it wasnt great news at scan 1 but the nurse literally looked in my eyes and said 'I'm not concerned about this, there is a heartbeat' (after I asked her to give it to me straight) so I spent last week trying to convince myself it'd be fine... it was a weird week. And now I'm pissed that they haven't just referred me to EPU and instead I'm still on progesterone even though that will effectively keep anything 'in', I'm flipping between crying because I dont want this to happen (a pity party, if you will) and raging because I feel like its being drawn out. Got 2 hours sleep last night about 5am on the sofa. Today is a write off, but husband has confirmed time frame and budget for a 'sod this shit' holiday so Im staying occupied!
Thanks everyone for your kind words x xx

@dogmam I wouldn’t totally give up hope. I had similar with my second round. First round 15 eggs, 11 mature I think & 9 fertilised which led to 3 embryos on day 5. Second round EC a day early only 6 eggs, 4 mature, 2 fertilised & 1 day 6 embryo. Was very glad just to get that 1 in the end. Turned out EC was moved forward for good reason as my estrogen was very high. I was upset with the clinic until I found that out so definitely make sure you talk through what the reasons were hopefully they were good ones.

@dogmam I am also on a low dose protocol and am bracing myself for similar numbers. But I think this is what my clinic is planning due yo my high AMH and good AFC, so maybe this is what your clinic is planning for too... your fertilised eggs might be better quality 🤞

@Tillybabs that's a long down reg!! But I totally admire that you are pushing for the right method to prepare your lining just right 😊

All ok here. I'm on day 4 of stims and about to do my 4th injection 💉 I have felt really tired and hungry all day, not sure if that's the stims or me having a lazy day 😅 I have a blood test tomorrow AM and on Friday AM then a scan on Friday afternoon... I cant wait 😬

@Kay00 good luck with your scan on Friday. I can't remember if I felt tired with stims, I definitely felt bloated.

I was very tired during downreg and so the 3 months of downreg coming up should be interesting.

@dogmam I totally understand what you mean. It does only take one good egg so hopefully that will be the case with you and they've followed a plan they think is best for you. But definitely have a chat with them to see their reasoning behind it.

@beckyCarlos Im sorry to hear that. I had a heartbeat at 8 weeks then nothing at the 12 weeks. Nothing can prepare you for that bad news. I went back for my 3rd round of ivf an now im 13 weeks. I know it doesnt help the heartbreak, but the silver lining us your body can get pregnant that was the only positive i took from it and your actual more fertile after a miscarriage. Take all the time you need to heal. Xx

@dogmam I know I'm not the best example at the minute but I only got the one egg, and it made a really good blast!

@tillybabs I hadnt clocked your THREE MONTH DOWNREG! I was shattered on my three weeks, how come you've got so long?!

@kay01 my friend who did short protocol said she was shattered on stims too. i was bouncing round like a puppy on stims because I'd been so tired on downreg!

@purpleunicorn01 im so sorry that happened yo you. Thank you for reminding me where you are now, its so hopeful :) x

Hello

@dogmam so sorry you're disappointed with the results. All fingers crossed that you get a lower drop off rate than in your first round and get some good embryos at the end of it. I understand the disillusionment with your clinic - it seems like clinics are not always very good at communicating so you sometimes feel like you're second guessing their motivations.

@thislittlebird good work on the weight loss!! Hope you're enjoying the count down to holiday...I'm going away at the beginning of June too but my getting fit plan is having mixed success. I put on half a stone after my second failed round in nov last year and just haven't been able to shift it since. Hoping that a change of environment on holiday and less time at my desk / more in the open air will help!

@Tillybabs a three month down reg sounds epic, wowsers!

My partner has now said he'd be supportive of the donor egg route which I was super surprised about after our last chat about it!! I think he'd prefer just to go for it now, but I still feel like i want to do one more round with my own eggs at another clinic. So we'll wait until we're back from our holiday in June and then hopefully get going. I had really long periods after my second round of ivf so suspect it could be in July before we start stims. Feels good to have a plan!

@PurpleUnicorn01 oh wow 13 weeks already, how has your pregnancy been?

@beckyCarlos I have adenomyosis which is affecting my lining so I'm doing a modified longer downreg to suppress it. This is what I wanted from when I found out about my adenomyosis as I've read the success rate is higher with longer downreg.

@99pctpractice that's good to know that you have that option if you need to.