Fertility Appointments and Beyond.... the next chapter

[Tinkerbell098]

I have created a new thread as the previous one is about to fill up. I've tagged some of us here, but apologies if I have missed anyone.

The thread is for anyone who has started/ about to start fertility investigations or treatment. Come join us, we are a lovely bunch :)

@tillybabs
@thislittlebird
@kay00
@jeaniej
@PurpleUnicorn01
@paintfairy
@dogmam
@flutterby8
@Ughmaybenot
@dancingfairydreams
@beckycarlos
@jkjellyhead
@juno231
@decaffe
@bumble44
@BritinNZ
@tinkerbell098
@pinkginpls
@thedaydreambelievers
@everymumday
@wanderlust16
@lori23ttc
@Gracie2021
@Sofasogood1
@99pctpractice
@magnoliasinbloom

@JeanieJ glad you’re feeling better and have a plan.

@Sofasogood1 it sucks having to go private but I won’t be far behind I’m sure. We have three funded transfers with the NHS, and I have three embryos left, so one of those isn’t funded, I’m not sure if they’ll raise it eventually? I a should discuss the merits of a double with them, even if that scares the shit out of me and sort of seems like a waste? I’m torn between a scenario with them both failing and feeling like I messed up and them both working and then panicking.

I’m also considering doing another egg collection privately if the next one fails, while I’m still <40. Early June is very fast, that’s not bad at all! I’m looking at late July if my cycle resets to the end of the month like it was before.

@thislittlebird don't do a double if you don't want one! Just keep the embryo on ice and pay for a private transfer.

My friend got nine embryos I think and got one NHS transfer- first didn't work, then they paid for the next which did. Then they wanted another and the next didn't work so they put two back in and got bloody twins!

So yes don't feel pressure to do a double. Just use it when you want.

@Sofasogood1 yeah I’m not sure it’s worth it just yet. A lady in another thread in infertility I was on had a failure on attempt one (I think) and on attempt two she put two in and one split so now she’s having triplets 😳.

I would be ok with twins because it would draw a line under it for us, but the difficulty of testing for abnormalities in twins is a worry, if my understanding of it is correct.

I should add, triplets would be a big no from me! I don’t know that we could afford it, we’re very average earners.

@thislittlebird I'm sorry this cycle didn't pan out, I had everything crossed for you :( the other thing with twins is that it's a lot riskier than a singleton pregnancy - I think I'd be terrified of it now. I'm following someone on insta who triggered on clomid with 1 good follicle and two small ones and somehow ended up with triplets anyway lol. Madness!

@JeanieJ so so sorry to hear of your MC - you seem to be handling it fantastically well!

@thislittlebird omg triplets 😱 I've asked for one per transfer and we get 2 FETS on the NHS and would have to pay for others.

@JeanieJ glad you are feeling ok and have a plan in mind.

AF arrived yesterday and is heavy which is frustrating considering I had a thin lining. This lets me know the blood is from my condition so I don't have high hopes at my next scan as I'm expecting my adenomyosis to be prominent. I wish I could afford private tbh because the NHS Dr just dismisses me concerns. I need a modified down regulation and she just won't listen to me

@Juno231 hey, hope you’re ok. I’m still very sad it didn’t work, feels like grieving tbh. And yes, I’m very risk averse so I don’t want extra risk. But I could handle the idea of twins if I had to, which I may never have to lol. Three from ‘one’ good follicle? Mental. Those small ones must have loved the trigger 😬

@Tillybabs I’m struggling with the nhs speed of transfer right now. I’m a similar age to you I think? Three months between transfers is a lot when you’re in the circa 40 bracket. I’m contemplating doing another EC privately before I’ve finished these transfers so I have eggs or embryos in storage, haven’t thought beyond that yet.

I don’t know if it helps, but I don’t think heavy or light flows are always dictated by lining, which is confusing. I know they told me when I had light periods that my lining was fine and even above average.

Did you read about the modified down reg?

@thislittlebird sorry I meant to say it'll be nearly a year between, not since, my two collections, when I get round to having my second one! The positive for you with a paid for FET, is that yours are natural so I think the main expense would be storage and the transfer itself, I'm sure the drugs are usually the bulk of the cost but you wouldn't need to worry if you were sticking with a natural. Have you spoken to your clinic any more? How you feeling?

@JeanieJ I'm pleased the clinic will let you pick up from before and can get the ball rolling when you're ready. When I had an ERPC (think its the same as D&C?!) At the end of 2021 my periods come back to normal straight away, which I was very relieved about so I hope that's the case for you, then you can start again on your terms, when you're feeling up to it. I think the delayed honeymoon sounds like a great idea, where you planning in going?

@Juno231 hello! How are you?! Hope everything is going well!

I had my baseline scan yesterday and good to go so had my first injection this morning. I'm on a lower dose this time, hoping to get more follicles the are of similar size rather than a load that are all different.

Look at this story! I love it
www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/4505296-what?page=3&reply=117038688

@Tillybabs really sorry that you're not being heard 😢 does the doc give you any reason why they won't do modified down regs?

I hate that docs don't listen 🫤 I've started getting weird pelvic pain yesterday & today & they just tell me on the phone that I'm fine & just to go to a&e if it's extreme 😑 it's not great miscarriage care if I'm honest ...

@dogmam - yeah I feel lucky I can pick back up again, it's just a case of when I feel mentally ready for it.

I feel better to have a plan, but still devastated & low about the loss - it comes in waves throughout the day.

I'm going to Sardinia for my honeymoon 🥰 it's nice to have something to look forward to.

@thislittlebird sorry about your cycle 😢 I agree with the others, don't feel like you have to put two in. I would agree with @Sofasogood1 and save it for later, but that's just me I guess.

@dogmam yeah, I think a year would be too much for me right now. August would be 6 months since our EC, I'm thinking of doing another one by October, that seems a safe bet, still only 5 months into 39. That's true, I hadn't thought of that. I'd have to pay for the FET procedure which seems to be £1-2k depending on the clinic, meds would be limited but scans would add up. They have to keep scanning you, but surely I can say scan me once and if all is well I'll keep doing OPKs until ovulation?

I'm feeling like shit tbh I'm not sleeping well. I'm very anxious and then feeling rough in the day because I haven't slept.

What dose were you on before vs now? I can't remember your previous dosage.

@JeanieJ I think I agree about saving it I think, but the time it takes between transfers is really hard. I don't know how to speed things up so I get more chances, it's such a pain not being able to conceive naturally at all so far, doesn't even feel like there's a chance of that for us.

@JeanieJ when is your honeymoon? Sardinia sounds great! We never got a honeymoon because of covid, I guess this holiday coming up is kinda like our honeymoon.

@thislittlebird not until late July.
Did you have a Covid wedding too? We ended up having a tiny one (14 people) & planned on having our party this year, but when we knew we had IVF in the pipeline, we cancelled.
It's actually a decision I don't regret, my teeny tiny wedding was lovely & I was actually stressing about a party, so it's all good. 🥰

I totally get why you're feeling under pressure as things can feel really slow, but hopefully your next transfer is the one 🤞🏻🤞🏻

@thislittlebird I can understand you still grieving. We go through so much and it's just heartbreaking when things don't go well.

I have been researching my condition and lots of women have had success with a prolonged downreg of 2-3 months.

@JeanieJ I've raised it with the Dr but she just fobs me off. Says it doesn't always work and she made a comment about private clinics doing it I can't remember what she said but it was nonsense imo. I don't know maybe in just feeling less positive about it at the moment and so I'm feeling this way but I will see what the next scan brings.

@thislittlebird I am actually 41 now, started TTC at 39! Time has scarily gone so fast

@JeanieJ Sardinia sounds lovely. Funny enough we are starting to look at wedding venues and I'm finding it stressful. I want a smallish one and my OH wants a bigger one. But I'm doing all the researching of venues grrr

@Tillybabs oh, I'm really sorry they are being like that. Sometimes it feels like they don't give you the individual care & investigation that you need at that clinic (Croydon right). And you feel like your hands are tied or can't say much because it's funded.

I can definitely vouch for a small wedding. Don't get me wrong, we were really excited about our big wedding, but when Covid happened, our perspectives changed alot & we just wanted to move on, start a family & renovate our house.
In our case, we were just happy to have our parents, siblings & closest friends there & that was fine.
I love other peoples weddings though, my sisters having a big wedding (200+ we're Irish) & I absolutely can't wait! 🥰

xx

@JeanieJ yeah we did. Initially we had something like 30 and then the rules changed and we had 10, less in the ceremony. I don't regret it, I would have liked some more friends at the dinner but it wasn't possible. It was very relaxed and low key, I was super happy with my dress for the occasion too. We'd discussed a trip to Canada but then covid hit so that went out the window, and the wedding was originally booked for May 2020 but then got pushed to October 2020.

@Tillybabs that's interesting. If they push ahead with normal protocol and the first one fails you could then push them more on the long down reg option. It goes so fast! I was 36 and I can't believe I'm looking ahead to 40 and no success in sight.

hey ladies, hope you all having the TGIF feeling and a fabulous weekend ahead. Sorry I haven't keep up with everyone's update lately I will try to catch up.

Last week we have sorted out the paperwork for a go ahead from June! Finally! Currently waiting for my meds to be delivered and a scan next week to kick start everything. Seems unreal for it to be actually happening after all these wait. This would be our first IVF cycle.

I have a question please. Did any of you take time off work during the cycle? And particularly what days? My work is quite flexible but I think I would be taking the piss if I tell my boss I am gone for a month. How do I plan my leaves strategically? Shall I take time off when I need to go in for scans every other day? Or need time to rest after EC? Put my legs up for a couple of days when they pop it back in??

Thanks all xxx

@pinkginpls I took a day off for egg retrieval and a day off for transfer. Other than that I worked every day but am extremely lucky to WFH full time so it wasnt noticeable to anyone when I nipped out for appointments and scans, a few of which I ended up having on Saturdays anyway. Also, very supportive boss who I told. Good luck :-)

@pinkginpls I am just starting my 1st ivf cycle too 😁 I'm currently on norethisterone pills to delay a period and I have my downreg scan on Friday 13th. My 1st stims injection should be on Saturday 14th. So I'm just a week behind you @dogmam 😊

As for days off, I asked the clinic and they recommended a couple of days off after EC and a day off for transfer. I'm lucky that I get 5 x IVF days off work, on top of my usual holiday days, and my boss is super flexible about me nipping out for scans and blood tests.

@pinkginpls I just took the day of egg collection off. I found it quite tricky not knowing when that would be and luckily they were timed ok so didn't interfere with work too much. If you can, try to book the scans in early so they can be at a time that works for you because the clinics can get quite busy and then you can find yourself with less options.

@thislittlebird I'm so sorry this transfer didn't give you a bfp. So frustrating when the nhs tests are so sh1t. Just what you don't need. Are you still taking progesterone in case?

@Tillybabs I'm sorry the clinic aren't listening to you. I've been having some consultations with new clinics and it feels a bit like they all have their pre-decided ideas about how things should work and don't really listen to what you're telling them about your body and your history.

@JeanieJ I'm really sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I had one in March and they are so rubbish, emotionally and physically. Glad you have your honeymoon planned and hopefully you can take some time to allow you to process it.

I've been a bit quiet because work has been so busy. I had a good snot cry out about roe v wade last night and felt much better. I didn't manage to have a proper cry after my miscarriage because I found out it wasn't viable at work and had to squish the feelings down. I think I really needed one. I'm turning 41 in less than a month and not feeling like celebrating much!!

@pinkginpls I took a day off for EC which luckily fell on a Friday so I had the weekend to recover. I needed it because I was in a lot of pain after and the day after. I'm not sure why tbh as lots of other women are fine.

@Kay00 that's really good that you get IVF days. I still wfh and so it has been a blessing for appointments. I live literally round the corner from the hospital so can walk to appointments and my boss has been really flexible with me so I've been lucky.

@99pctpractice you definitely needed it. That's awful that you experienced it at work as well I'm so sorry. I know how you feel re age. So we are of similar age then as I turned 41 in January

@Sofasogood1 @Tillybabs thanks for the tips looks like I will take some time off for EC and transfer. Good job I also have 5 ivf leave from work too.

@Kay00 good to hear about your cycle. We are cycle buddy...ish? all the luck in the world and you will do great.

@99pctpractice let it all out darling we are all in this journey together. xxx

@pinkginpls yes, we're cycle buddies too 😊 I took my last Norethisterone pill tonight so now I'm just waiting for the bleed/CD1 and my scan on Friday. I fly back to the UK on Wednesday so it's all worked out well 😇

@Sofasogood1 after the failed FET, I feel like I’m going to ovulate soon and it’s only cycle day 6 🤨. Wasn’t expecting that, since I ovulated day 22 last month. Has everything been normal for you so far?

I don’t want to do any ovulation tests etc really because I told myself I would have a month off.